fic: Biology, or Studying the Nether Lips and Button
Author's note: Am I back in the groove? Don't think so. I mean, this was a real quickly and I'm so thankful for that because God knows I've been feeling writer's block roughly since school started again (stress, mostly) but it doesn't look like my school load is getting any lighter so... I cannot promise a damn thing. Promising gets me into trouble.
It is time for Chuck and Blair to study the female organ.
BIOLOGY, OR STUDYING THE NETHER LIPS AND BUTTON
“Wow.”
“Huh.” He cocked his head, a small smile on his face as he turned the textbook this way and that in order to get the full experience.
“I never thought...”
Chuck's eyes slammed up to hers, his indignant astonishment something she should have been able to laugh at, but curiously she felt no amusement at all about it as his stare bored into hers. “You've never looked?” he finally sputtered, his tone screaming clearly you need help because what, the, fuck.
Blair needed to look away. It wasn't so much embarrassment as a keen sense of preservation. “It's not like it grows out, you know,” she huffed, rolling her eyes, because that was what was expected of her, but privately she hoped it would draw his attention away from her cheeks and how pink they must be.
Snickering at the jibe, Chuck leaned forward a bit, lothario face firmly in place as his eyes darkened predictably. “Yeah,” he drawled, “but you do have a conveniently placed mirror.” He pointed with his chin at the furniture in question, then raised an inquisitive brow as if to await her response.
Stunned as though it were the first time she'd ever seen the thing - not quite, as it was practically the first thing she looked into each morning - Blair forced a bland mask on her face. “God, you see sex everywhere, Bass. You're disgusting.”
Chuck rocked back onto his hands gracefully. “And I drive away my kind from you,” he refuted gaily. “I'm handy to have around, admit it.”
Blair considered him acidly, mouth in a thin line. “I won't answer that. You'd read something into 'handy', I'm sure.”
He shot her a full-on grin. “Damn. That's not nice, throwing my punch line out there before I do.”
She shrugged her shoulders with a tiny lopsided smile that outwardly looked more malevolent than friendly. Only outwardly. “If you can't handle me, there's the door.”
As he chuckled more openly than she'd ever seen him do in public, the bed underneath them trembled. “That burns, Blair.”
A humble bow and “can we go back to biology?” later, Blair released a very slow breath, feeling the burn in her body subside.
But she still couldn't help glancing at her cursed mirror every now and then.
Or Chuck.
Wondering.