FIC: Pressing Pause
Author's note: Well I'm at work again, writing again. Actually I've got just a couple minutes till my lunch break is over so here goes. Enjoy! Post 2x24.
Freedom... It all feels odd rushing through her, but there's quiet as well. Quiet and looser limbs.
PRESSING PAUSE
I see your fear creeping around you
First love, then hate, then love, no, wait
Your confusion, it's gonna kill me
I broke for you, I woke for you
You taught me through, God love you,
I see the signs are out of line
No fault of mine
-- OneRepublic, Something's Not Right Here
There's none of those huge waves of expectation. None of those strings that held her tightly. Her breaths come easily. It feels scary; it's the Great Unknown, because she's based an entire lifetime on the one person that's still very dear to her but feels inconsequential in her personal life. She's ashamed. Yes, an entire life. She's let herself live a fairytale that she now sees was a safety buoy for the reality that she was too afraid to allow herself to be swayed by. It couldn't be controlled. It still can't, but then she's learned that you can't stay locked in a fantasy forever. Reality always comes knocking and, if you won't press pause on your dreams in order to deal with it, then you'll be hurt ten times worse than if you did. But these mistakes only served to strengthen Blair. She's her own woman and she's now free to make her own decisions - damn all the consequences. And also to find out exactly who she is.
Freedom... It all feels odd rushing through her, but there's quiet as well. Quiet and looser limbs.
That particular, latter feeling calls forth a barrage of only a few memories of letting go and tasting freedom like she'd never tapped before, but she's desperate to ignore them for the moment. She needs to breathe. Take a step back. Shake out the kinks from a faulty system that she's got to re-engineer to be who she is somewhere within herself.
If it means shutting out a blood-deep yearning, Blair tells herself it's only necessary to cleanse her muddled mind.
But he helped, tonight. Nowhere to be seen, it seems he knew exactly what she needed. She never knew him to be so thoughtful.
Actually, she may be lying...
Quiet, she urges herself, and quickly obliges the command. Quiet again.
It's so much easier to view things from an objective point of view now that she's taken control of her movie again. Its production is currently stuck on pause. It needs a change in direction. Something a little more realistic, but not insipid. More suited to her.
Freedom... It all feels odd rushing through her, but there's quiet as well. Quiet and looser limbs.
PRESSING PAUSE
I see your fear creeping around you
First love, then hate, then love, no, wait
Your confusion, it's gonna kill me
I broke for you, I woke for you
You taught me through, God love you,
I see the signs are out of line
No fault of mine
-- OneRepublic, Something's Not Right Here
There's none of those huge waves of expectation. None of those strings that held her tightly. Her breaths come easily. It feels scary; it's the Great Unknown, because she's based an entire lifetime on the one person that's still very dear to her but feels inconsequential in her personal life. She's ashamed. Yes, an entire life. She's let herself live a fairytale that she now sees was a safety buoy for the reality that she was too afraid to allow herself to be swayed by. It couldn't be controlled. It still can't, but then she's learned that you can't stay locked in a fantasy forever. Reality always comes knocking and, if you won't press pause on your dreams in order to deal with it, then you'll be hurt ten times worse than if you did. But these mistakes only served to strengthen Blair. She's her own woman and she's now free to make her own decisions - damn all the consequences. And also to find out exactly who she is.
Freedom... It all feels odd rushing through her, but there's quiet as well. Quiet and looser limbs.
That particular, latter feeling calls forth a barrage of only a few memories of letting go and tasting freedom like she'd never tapped before, but she's desperate to ignore them for the moment. She needs to breathe. Take a step back. Shake out the kinks from a faulty system that she's got to re-engineer to be who she is somewhere within herself.
If it means shutting out a blood-deep yearning, Blair tells herself it's only necessary to cleanse her muddled mind.
But he helped, tonight. Nowhere to be seen, it seems he knew exactly what she needed. She never knew him to be so thoughtful.
Actually, she may be lying...
Quiet, she urges herself, and quickly obliges the command. Quiet again.
It's so much easier to view things from an objective point of view now that she's taken control of her movie again. Its production is currently stuck on pause. It needs a change in direction. Something a little more realistic, but not insipid. More suited to her.