[Fic] Sin with a Grin - Interlude II: Dirty Laundry
Title: Sin with a Grin - Interlude: Dirty Laundry
Author: Stolen Childe
Disclaimer: They boys don’t belong to me.
Rating: 14A (This Part)
Genre: Romance, Crime Drama, Human AU
Warnings: All Human AU, FBI!fic, teacher!fic, slash, established relationship, mention of m/m sexual content, mature situations/themes, talk of war and associated violence and [Fic spoiler] minor character death, death of a child which may affect sensitive readers.
Pairings: Dean/Castiel
Characters: Dean and Castiel
Timeline/Spoilers: None! As long as you know the characters up until 6.22 you’re good
Word Count: 2100 (80K Total)
Summary: Another moment shared between Dean and Castiel. More is revealed of the boys' pasts.
Author’s Notes: Small interlude from Sin with a Grin. This may not make sense if read alone. Please see Master Post for Notes, Cover Art and Further Information. Chapter Thirteen will be up this week; however, due to RL it may be slightly delayed.
Special thanks to dapperscript for the wonderful beta!
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Sin with a Grin - Interlude II: Dirty Laundry
Dean had come across the picture completely by accident. He was doing Cas’s laundry while the man was passed out, asleep on the couch. He had just been away on a three day mission and had barely managed to get undressed before he’d collapsed. Dean had picked up item after item and dug around in the well-worn jeans Castiel was wearing as cover, and pulled out the well-loved photograph. It was of a
woman with dark hair, delicate features, and wide, almond-shaped grey eyes. She was slender and beautiful with the biggest grin Dean had ever seen outside of Lisa. In her arms she held a small boy, maybe two-years-old but it was sort of hard to tell.
Dean blinked and put the photograph aside, along with one of himself he had also pulled out. He was hunched over papers at his desk, and it was only a profile shot. Dean hadn’t even realized Castiel had taken it. Dean quirked a brow and shrugged. He’d ask later.
When Castiel awoke ten hours later and Dean asked, the blue-eyed man hadn’t replied; he’d just shut down and started making dinner.
xx
“I was married,” Castiel blurted one night, a few days later as they lay together.
Dean looked up and blinked, sleepy and well-worn form their previous activities. “Huh?”
“I was married,” Castiel said quietly again.
“What happened?” Dean asked gently.
“I had a son, too,” Castiel whispered, voice cracking. Dean breathed in sharply and felt his body start to tremble. Castiel said had a son. Not have, had.
“His mother…” Castiel sucked in a shaky breath. “She was beautiful, you know, and incredibly brave. I saw her at a café, hair dark and stunning, peeking out from the loosely wrapped pink scarf she wore. She wasn’t born in Afghanistan; she was born in England but had moved to Afghanistan when her father got transferred. She never quite… conformed I guess, and he never made her.
“Her mother was born in England, her grandparents had been Indian. However, her mother died when Aaliyah was a girl. I saw she was unescorted and had to admit I was intrigued. I sat with her and spoke to her in her language; she looked a little surprised and then laughed at me. She told me my accent was better than hers before she fell into English.
“Aaliyah had told me she just returned to the country, she had taken journalism and was fresh out of graduate school. She wanted to write a book about the women of the war, and was finding it difficult to do. I saw her grey eyes flash, her smile was brilliant, white teeth and wide, and it didn’t take long for me to fall for her.
“I’m not sure if her father was ever too keen on Aaliyah marrying an American soldier, but we were married for nearly three years, though really I only spent about a year with her with all the time I spent away. And my… son… Aaliyah had named him Kamali-it means perfection-she asked me, though, what I wanted to name him when I took him to America, and…” Castiel had to breathe deep again. “I said Kamali was fine, he was a year old when I first met him.”
Castiel shook his head. “My God, it’s… Jesus.”
“Cas,” Dean said gently. “Please don’t if this is too hard.”
“No! You have to know!” Castiel said insistently, almost desperate. “Please. I have to tell someone.”
“Okay, Cas, okay,” Dean nodded.
“I chose Theodore, Teddy, it means divine gift and I could think of nothing better suited to him, you know? Perfect, divine gift.
“He had such pale skin, it looked strange almost against his black curls and he had grey eyes like his mother. He would smile at me and even if I hadn’t met him right away, it was like he knew me.
“I never worked up the courage to ask why she’d said when I take him back to America, not we. I wondered, but I didn’t ask… I should have… I was on leave again, and had just returned to the city. I was supposed to meet them at a café before we headed home because she was working. I heard the explosion before I saw it, and I… God… I just knew what happened.
“I ran, as fast as I could, I ran and when I got there it was carnage. People were screaming, there was blood and gore everywhere. A suicide bomber had been in the centre of the square. It was only a yard or two from where Aaliyah was sitting with Teddy.
“I recognized her instantly even if there-I still recognized her. She had pulled Teddy underneath her, but he was so little, Dean, he was only two and half… I think she was trying to cry when I reached her, and then she tried to smile and say something but she just couldn’t. It was too late. I just remember the last flash of her warm, grey eyes before they went dark and I… I don’t remember much after that. Not really.
“Gabriel and Balthazar came and took me home for a few months and it all seems so much of blur before I went back. I couldn’t save my wife and son, but I could save other people’s. So I went back even if they all said I didn’t have to… I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before, and maybe I would never have told you if it wasn’t for you finding the photo. I just… Don’t talk about it.”
Dean knew anything he said to Castiel would be useless platitudes and Castiel appreciated that Dean didn’t try. He heard enough from his brothers and his fellow soldiers, and nothing could make it feel better or make it go away. Dean understood that, and he remained quiet for a time and let Castiel deal with his grief silently. After such a difficult subject, Dean felt that he should share with Castiel as well. He deserved to know. It wasn’t quite the same, but it was important Castiel know, better than him finding out another way.
Dean swallowed. “I guess… I should tell you something too. I suppose it kind of pales in comparison to what you’ve been through, but in interest of full disclosure…”
“Dean?”
“Look, it’s not something I’m proud of. I don’t really know what kind of guy this makes me, all right?”
“Dean, what?” Castiel asked, wondering what could make the green-eyed man look so frightened to share.
“And given what you do, what you’ve done, what you’ve lost, you may hate me after,” Dean muttered.
“Dean, I don’t think I cou-”
“Cas, just let me get this out, all right? When I was… Jesus, when I was a kid I made some pretty shitty decisions. I wasn’t exactly Mr. Popular in school, I didn’t really have a lot of friends, and I was kind of a moron…
“Anyway, I was pissed off at myself, at my parents, at the world in general, and I don’t even really know why. I just figured it wasn’t fair that I got stuck with everything, you know? Taking care of Sammy, being there for my mom when my dad fucked up, picking up the pieces when they almost split up.
“He was gone for a few weeks, once, my dad. Part of me thinks they got married too young. I mean, they’re pretty awesome now, but back then… I don’t know, they were fighting all the time and I had to tell Sammy everything would be alright, and then I just had to get out of there. None of that should excuse anything I did. I mean, it really just comes to what I chose for myself.
“I started getting involved in things I probably shouldn’t have, especially considering I was only fourteen,” Dean laughed self-deprecatingly. “I was hanging out with some older kids and it started small at first: drinking, vandalizing shit, minor theft. I’m shocked I didn’t get caught earlier. I didn’t know what I was doing half the time, then I started getting into more stuff. Breaking into buildings, stealing larger things, until I screwed up and stole the wrong guy’s car.
“I was not quite fifteen; they managed to catch me and I got off pretty light because, according to records, it was a first offence. Maybe it helped the guy recognized my dad from the garage or whatever…
“I just had to do six months in Juvie and then some community service. It cleaned me up for a while, I started to get back on track with school and they sealed up the records. Then after I managed to graduate, I met this chick named Lisa and she was pretty cool at first. Mom didn’t like her too much because she had a kid, Ben, and she was older. Lisa also liked to have a good time, you know? So I started drinking too much again, goofing off, and then one night…” Dean steadied himself.
Castiel didn’t say anything, just reached over and took Dean’s hand in his own.
Dean continued, “One night, Lisa and I had a pretty nasty fight, we were out with a few of her friends, Ben was at his dad’s, and we were both kind of spectacularly drunk…
“Lisa was screaming and yelling at me, and ever since my parents and my dad and Sammy, I was never real good with confrontation. I knew I probably shouldn’t have done it, but I left Lisa with her friends and started driving home.
“I was nowhere near sober enough to be driving, but thank God it was late and Lisa and I lived in a small town that only had a few bars. I was on this country lane that crossed a two-lane high way and I wasn’t paying any attention at all. I could barely see straight when this… Jesus, I don’t really remember, but they tell me this big Mac truck was coming up the road, I had a stop sign but I didn’t see it, and he t-boned me.
“Thank God, I was in the Impala and not one of those fiberglass mockeries that cars are now, and thank God the truck at hit on the passenger side because if it hadn’t, I would have died instantly. As it was, I was pretty close from what my mom tells me, though none of us really talk about it.
“I was in a coma for a few weeks and it was real touch and go. I pulled through though, and I’m here now. I got charged with a DUI, but that was it because the only person that was hurt was myself. Also, because according to adult records it was a first offence, I got off pretty light. I had to complete 100 hours of community service, and also the court ordered me to complete an alcohol and drug treatment program, which I had to pay for.
“I also had to pay a $1000 fine and all my court costs and associated fees. Since I had the juvenile record, I almost had to go to prison, but the lawyer was a friend of Bobby’s and managed to talk the DA around… Something about extenuating circumstances or whatever, I didn’t pay much attention to be honest. So that’s it… I mean, the list of what I did as a kid could fill a book, but that’s the Cliffs Notes version,” Dean said pathetically. “I may be Mr. Winchester, third grade teacher now, but I used to be Dean the delinquent. So I get it if you don’t want anything to do with me, Cas, I mean you’re a Federal Agent after all…”
Castiel sighed, “Dean, what you did in your past doesn’t change who you have become. We’ve all made poor decisions in our lives. I was a slut in university and got myself in trouble more than once. Luckily, nothing serious, but it was serious enough. We deal in different ways. The boy you were then is not the man you have become. I know your heart, Dean Winchester, and I’m certain your lawyer was right about those extenuating circumstances.”
“Cas… about your wife and son… I’m really, real-”
“Dean, it wasn’t your fault,” Castiel cut in.
“Yeah, but if I had known I wouldn’t have pried, you know? I’m sure it’s not something you like talking about,” Dean said softly.
“No, it isn’t. But I do enjoy remembering them. I’m glad you know, it means I can tell you about Kamali now,” Castiel said gently. “I wish you could have found out under different circumstances, but now it’s out in the open, which is for the best.”
“Yeah,” Dean agreed softly. “No secrets.”
“No secrets.”
Interlude II End
Chapter Twelve | Master Post | Chapter Thirteen
Author: Stolen Childe
Disclaimer: They boys don’t belong to me.
Rating: 14A (This Part)
Genre: Romance, Crime Drama, Human AU
Warnings: All Human AU, FBI!fic, teacher!fic, slash, established relationship, mention of m/m sexual content, mature situations/themes, talk of war and associated violence and [Fic spoiler] minor character death, death of a child which may affect sensitive readers.
Pairings: Dean/Castiel
Characters: Dean and Castiel
Timeline/Spoilers: None! As long as you know the characters up until 6.22 you’re good
Word Count: 2100 (80K Total)
Summary: Another moment shared between Dean and Castiel. More is revealed of the boys' pasts.
Author’s Notes: Small interlude from Sin with a Grin. This may not make sense if read alone. Please see Master Post for Notes, Cover Art and Further Information. Chapter Thirteen will be up this week; however, due to RL it may be slightly delayed.
Special thanks to dapperscript for the wonderful beta!
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Sin with a Grin - Interlude II: Dirty Laundry
Dean had come across the picture completely by accident. He was doing Cas’s laundry while the man was passed out, asleep on the couch. He had just been away on a three day mission and had barely managed to get undressed before he’d collapsed. Dean had picked up item after item and dug around in the well-worn jeans Castiel was wearing as cover, and pulled out the well-loved photograph. It was of a
woman with dark hair, delicate features, and wide, almond-shaped grey eyes. She was slender and beautiful with the biggest grin Dean had ever seen outside of Lisa. In her arms she held a small boy, maybe two-years-old but it was sort of hard to tell.
Dean blinked and put the photograph aside, along with one of himself he had also pulled out. He was hunched over papers at his desk, and it was only a profile shot. Dean hadn’t even realized Castiel had taken it. Dean quirked a brow and shrugged. He’d ask later.
When Castiel awoke ten hours later and Dean asked, the blue-eyed man hadn’t replied; he’d just shut down and started making dinner.
xx
“I was married,” Castiel blurted one night, a few days later as they lay together.
Dean looked up and blinked, sleepy and well-worn form their previous activities. “Huh?”
“I was married,” Castiel said quietly again.
“What happened?” Dean asked gently.
“I had a son, too,” Castiel whispered, voice cracking. Dean breathed in sharply and felt his body start to tremble. Castiel said had a son. Not have, had.
“His mother…” Castiel sucked in a shaky breath. “She was beautiful, you know, and incredibly brave. I saw her at a café, hair dark and stunning, peeking out from the loosely wrapped pink scarf she wore. She wasn’t born in Afghanistan; she was born in England but had moved to Afghanistan when her father got transferred. She never quite… conformed I guess, and he never made her.
“Her mother was born in England, her grandparents had been Indian. However, her mother died when Aaliyah was a girl. I saw she was unescorted and had to admit I was intrigued. I sat with her and spoke to her in her language; she looked a little surprised and then laughed at me. She told me my accent was better than hers before she fell into English.
“Aaliyah had told me she just returned to the country, she had taken journalism and was fresh out of graduate school. She wanted to write a book about the women of the war, and was finding it difficult to do. I saw her grey eyes flash, her smile was brilliant, white teeth and wide, and it didn’t take long for me to fall for her.
“I’m not sure if her father was ever too keen on Aaliyah marrying an American soldier, but we were married for nearly three years, though really I only spent about a year with her with all the time I spent away. And my… son… Aaliyah had named him Kamali-it means perfection-she asked me, though, what I wanted to name him when I took him to America, and…” Castiel had to breathe deep again. “I said Kamali was fine, he was a year old when I first met him.”
Castiel shook his head. “My God, it’s… Jesus.”
“Cas,” Dean said gently. “Please don’t if this is too hard.”
“No! You have to know!” Castiel said insistently, almost desperate. “Please. I have to tell someone.”
“Okay, Cas, okay,” Dean nodded.
“I chose Theodore, Teddy, it means divine gift and I could think of nothing better suited to him, you know? Perfect, divine gift.
“He had such pale skin, it looked strange almost against his black curls and he had grey eyes like his mother. He would smile at me and even if I hadn’t met him right away, it was like he knew me.
“I never worked up the courage to ask why she’d said when I take him back to America, not we. I wondered, but I didn’t ask… I should have… I was on leave again, and had just returned to the city. I was supposed to meet them at a café before we headed home because she was working. I heard the explosion before I saw it, and I… God… I just knew what happened.
“I ran, as fast as I could, I ran and when I got there it was carnage. People were screaming, there was blood and gore everywhere. A suicide bomber had been in the centre of the square. It was only a yard or two from where Aaliyah was sitting with Teddy.
“I recognized her instantly even if there-I still recognized her. She had pulled Teddy underneath her, but he was so little, Dean, he was only two and half… I think she was trying to cry when I reached her, and then she tried to smile and say something but she just couldn’t. It was too late. I just remember the last flash of her warm, grey eyes before they went dark and I… I don’t remember much after that. Not really.
“Gabriel and Balthazar came and took me home for a few months and it all seems so much of blur before I went back. I couldn’t save my wife and son, but I could save other people’s. So I went back even if they all said I didn’t have to… I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before, and maybe I would never have told you if it wasn’t for you finding the photo. I just… Don’t talk about it.”
Dean knew anything he said to Castiel would be useless platitudes and Castiel appreciated that Dean didn’t try. He heard enough from his brothers and his fellow soldiers, and nothing could make it feel better or make it go away. Dean understood that, and he remained quiet for a time and let Castiel deal with his grief silently. After such a difficult subject, Dean felt that he should share with Castiel as well. He deserved to know. It wasn’t quite the same, but it was important Castiel know, better than him finding out another way.
Dean swallowed. “I guess… I should tell you something too. I suppose it kind of pales in comparison to what you’ve been through, but in interest of full disclosure…”
“Dean?”
“Look, it’s not something I’m proud of. I don’t really know what kind of guy this makes me, all right?”
“Dean, what?” Castiel asked, wondering what could make the green-eyed man look so frightened to share.
“And given what you do, what you’ve done, what you’ve lost, you may hate me after,” Dean muttered.
“Dean, I don’t think I cou-”
“Cas, just let me get this out, all right? When I was… Jesus, when I was a kid I made some pretty shitty decisions. I wasn’t exactly Mr. Popular in school, I didn’t really have a lot of friends, and I was kind of a moron…
“Anyway, I was pissed off at myself, at my parents, at the world in general, and I don’t even really know why. I just figured it wasn’t fair that I got stuck with everything, you know? Taking care of Sammy, being there for my mom when my dad fucked up, picking up the pieces when they almost split up.
“He was gone for a few weeks, once, my dad. Part of me thinks they got married too young. I mean, they’re pretty awesome now, but back then… I don’t know, they were fighting all the time and I had to tell Sammy everything would be alright, and then I just had to get out of there. None of that should excuse anything I did. I mean, it really just comes to what I chose for myself.
“I started getting involved in things I probably shouldn’t have, especially considering I was only fourteen,” Dean laughed self-deprecatingly. “I was hanging out with some older kids and it started small at first: drinking, vandalizing shit, minor theft. I’m shocked I didn’t get caught earlier. I didn’t know what I was doing half the time, then I started getting into more stuff. Breaking into buildings, stealing larger things, until I screwed up and stole the wrong guy’s car.
“I was not quite fifteen; they managed to catch me and I got off pretty light because, according to records, it was a first offence. Maybe it helped the guy recognized my dad from the garage or whatever…
“I just had to do six months in Juvie and then some community service. It cleaned me up for a while, I started to get back on track with school and they sealed up the records. Then after I managed to graduate, I met this chick named Lisa and she was pretty cool at first. Mom didn’t like her too much because she had a kid, Ben, and she was older. Lisa also liked to have a good time, you know? So I started drinking too much again, goofing off, and then one night…” Dean steadied himself.
Castiel didn’t say anything, just reached over and took Dean’s hand in his own.
Dean continued, “One night, Lisa and I had a pretty nasty fight, we were out with a few of her friends, Ben was at his dad’s, and we were both kind of spectacularly drunk…
“Lisa was screaming and yelling at me, and ever since my parents and my dad and Sammy, I was never real good with confrontation. I knew I probably shouldn’t have done it, but I left Lisa with her friends and started driving home.
“I was nowhere near sober enough to be driving, but thank God it was late and Lisa and I lived in a small town that only had a few bars. I was on this country lane that crossed a two-lane high way and I wasn’t paying any attention at all. I could barely see straight when this… Jesus, I don’t really remember, but they tell me this big Mac truck was coming up the road, I had a stop sign but I didn’t see it, and he t-boned me.
“Thank God, I was in the Impala and not one of those fiberglass mockeries that cars are now, and thank God the truck at hit on the passenger side because if it hadn’t, I would have died instantly. As it was, I was pretty close from what my mom tells me, though none of us really talk about it.
“I was in a coma for a few weeks and it was real touch and go. I pulled through though, and I’m here now. I got charged with a DUI, but that was it because the only person that was hurt was myself. Also, because according to adult records it was a first offence, I got off pretty light. I had to complete 100 hours of community service, and also the court ordered me to complete an alcohol and drug treatment program, which I had to pay for.
“I also had to pay a $1000 fine and all my court costs and associated fees. Since I had the juvenile record, I almost had to go to prison, but the lawyer was a friend of Bobby’s and managed to talk the DA around… Something about extenuating circumstances or whatever, I didn’t pay much attention to be honest. So that’s it… I mean, the list of what I did as a kid could fill a book, but that’s the Cliffs Notes version,” Dean said pathetically. “I may be Mr. Winchester, third grade teacher now, but I used to be Dean the delinquent. So I get it if you don’t want anything to do with me, Cas, I mean you’re a Federal Agent after all…”
Castiel sighed, “Dean, what you did in your past doesn’t change who you have become. We’ve all made poor decisions in our lives. I was a slut in university and got myself in trouble more than once. Luckily, nothing serious, but it was serious enough. We deal in different ways. The boy you were then is not the man you have become. I know your heart, Dean Winchester, and I’m certain your lawyer was right about those extenuating circumstances.”
“Cas… about your wife and son… I’m really, real-”
“Dean, it wasn’t your fault,” Castiel cut in.
“Yeah, but if I had known I wouldn’t have pried, you know? I’m sure it’s not something you like talking about,” Dean said softly.
“No, it isn’t. But I do enjoy remembering them. I’m glad you know, it means I can tell you about Kamali now,” Castiel said gently. “I wish you could have found out under different circumstances, but now it’s out in the open, which is for the best.”
“Yeah,” Dean agreed softly. “No secrets.”
“No secrets.”
Interlude II End
Chapter Twelve | Master Post | Chapter Thirteen