[Fic] Sin with a Grin - Chapter 5/18
Title: Sin with a Grin
Author: Stolen Childe
Disclaimer: Supernatural and all associated characters belong to Kripke and Co. I make absolutely no claims on any of them.
Warnings: [Chapter Spoiler]one part may be read as minor dub-con if you're sensitive to the situation - nothing graphic though
Special Thanks to dapperscript for the wonderful beta! Thank you!
Please see Master Post for Notes, Cover Art and Further Information
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Castiel fired off round after round from his Glock, and then gently set it on the table in front of him after thumbing on the safety. He hit the switch that would bring the target towards him. He pulled off the heavy-duty earmuffs and then pulled each yellow foam plug from his ears. When the target settled, Cas could see six perfect shots nestled right over the paper target’s ‘heart’, and two perfect shots in its ‘forehead.’ Castiel didn’t feel any better.
He heard a knock on the second set of Plexiglas doors and saw it was Dr. Gabriel Tricks on the other side, their branch’s resident shrink.
“What’s going on there, Cassy?” Gabe grinned.
Castiel winced; he had known Gabriel for a long time. They had been friends in college. Gabriel - who had already been working with the FBI for several years - had been instrumental in helping Castiel get to where he was today, thanks to glowing recommendations. That, however, didn’t mean that Castiel had to like the stupid nickname Gabriel had pilfered from Castiel’s half-brother, Balthazar.
“Don’t call me that,” Castiel said.
“All righty Cas.” Gabriel’s grin turned just this side of wicked.
“Not that either,” Castiel retorted; only the Winchesters were allowed to use that nickname.
“God, Castiel is so stuffy though,” Gabriel whined.
“It’s my name.”
“Duh,” Gabe rolled his eyes. “Anywho… not here to talk about that. I wanna know what’s got a bee in your bonnet, not that I don’t already know. But humour me, jump on up here and tell Unca Gabe all about it.” Gabriel patted the window ledge next to him.
“You sound like a lecher when you say that,” Castiel said, but came over to Gabriel nonetheless. The blue-eyed man hopped up to sit on the wide ledge next to the psychiatrist.
“Using that word of the day calendar I got you?” Gabriel leaned up against the window, pillowing his head in his raised arms.
“No, I read,” Castiel replied. Gabriel made a face in response and the silence stretched on for a while between them.
“So…” Gabriel finally started.
“So what?” Castiel flatly returned.
“Are you gonna tell me how signing your boy-toy up for this gig has your little heart in ribbons and your stomach trying to eat its way out of your body with guilt? Or are we just going to sit here and shoot the breeze like all is right in the world of Special Agent L’Ange?”
“We never just sit and ‘shoot the breeze’ Gabriel. You tell me what I’m never going to say. I deny that is how I’m feeling. You retort that you know me better than I know myself, you ‘fix’ me. We go home, then do it all again during the next afterschool special. So can we just skip to the go home part and replace it with grabbing a drink?”
Gabriel sighed, “Fine. But only because I’ve been trying to drag you into the down and dirty life of alcoholism for years and this is a damn good way to start.”
“Your wit is endless and my amusement is eternal,” Castiel said sardonically, and slid off the ledge.
“Yes, yes, I know,” Gabriel said airily, “you’d marry me if your ass wasn’t already spoken for by that sweet young thing of yours. Damn that boy’s mouth, Cassy. How come you always get the pretty ones and I’m stuck with your brother?”
Castiel snorted, “Because you have a weakness for blue-eyed blonds with accents. Let’s go.” Castiel picked up his gun and tucked it away, placing his earmuffs in the container to be sanitized.
“You’re buying,” Gabriel said brightly.
“Like hell, my brother’s buying. He’s richer than God, he can afford it.”
“Good thing he gave me his Centurion Card then,” Gabe grinned, flashing the black piece of titanium like the proverbial gold it was. Castiel gaped at him for a moment, before chuckling and shaking his head as they headed out of the building.
xx
When Castiel had first met the then 20-year-old Balthazar Black, he hated him on sight. This smarmy, cocky, British bastard was the reason that his mother had cried herself to sleep for a year before succumbing to liver failure and passing away. Castiel had succeeded in ignoring Balthazar’s existence for the better part of two years, and then with a simple knock, he couldn’t anymore.
Jimmy, always the charitable one, always the friendly and open one, welcomed a new little brother into the fold with open arms. Castiel always suspected that for Jimmy, not being the youngest any longer in their family was a relief; even if Jimmy was only five minutes younger than Castiel, he was still the youngest.
It had been Michael who allowed him into their home originally. Michael tended to be a lot more forgiving than he was sometimes given credit for. It also didn’t help that he idolized their father to the point of discomfort. But, it was what it was. Michael was also basically in charge around their home ever since their mother had kicked their father out, and she had started her downward spiral.
Michael was thirteen years older than Cas and Jimmy. Luce, their middle brother, was three years younger than Michael. Luce rejected Balthazar immediately and refused to speak to him. It had been no surprise; Luce always had a hard time dealing with new siblings. He outright hated Jimmy and Castiel for the first three years of their lives. He resented not being the baby brother any longer, and he resented that Castiel and Jimmy took up most of their mother’s time. Luce had always been a favourite with their parents, and to have his world pulled out from under him with the surprise twins was, well… a surprise. Castiel and Jimmy had, quite frankly, been an accident, and if Balthazar was anything to go by, their father had a habit of having accidents.
Despite all his flare and flamboyance, Balthazar was rather shy when he met his brothers for the first time. His own mother had died, leaving him the single heir of a vast wealth, and free to do whatever he pleased with it. He had no other family back in England but had always hated to be alone. So he had called a lawyer, had her find the long-lost brothers and father, and was at their doorstep within a week.
“Hello. I don’t know if you know who I am, my name’s Balthazar Black I’m y-”
“Brother,” Michael finished, somewhat in awe. The boy before them was a near spitting image of their father at that age, if pictures were anything to go by. The only other brother in the household who could boast that honour was Luce. Castiel and Jimmy were identical and looked the most like their half-Russian mother right down to thick dark hair, and brilliant blue eyes. Michael hovered with a happy medium between both his parents; his eyes were also blue, but lighter, more like the summer sky than the blue sapphire of dusk, but his hair was somewhat of a mid-hued reddish-brown. Luce and Balthazar were both bright blond, with just the barest discernible amount of mischievousness in those sky blue eyes.
Balthazar was only two years younger than Castiel and Jimmy. Their father had succeeded in keeping his love-child a secret, until, on the eve of his eighteenth birthday, Balthazar had called them out of the blue and their happy little life of ignorant bliss was blown to shreds. Castiel joined the military the next day.
Needless to say, Castiel and Balthazar were like night and day. It was a surprise to all of them when they ended up being the closest amongst the brothers. Balthazar idolized Cas, looked up to him with scarcely-guarded near-reverence, and teased him mercilessly while doing it. Castiel felt his little brother’s behaviour towards him puzzling, but indulged it with mild fondness. Despite his initial reaction to the entrance of the boy into their lives, there was just something about him that won you over. The only exception was Luce, who never really warmed up to Balthazar, but Luce never really warmed up to anyone.
While Castiel was on leave for a few days, he had returned home to visit his brothers and had run across his friend Gabriel from college at the train station. He and Gabriel talked as if no time had passed and Castiel ended up inviting Gabriel home to have dinner with his family that night. When the slight brunette man met the young blond they were both lost and, from that point on, basically welded together.
xx
“What’s the point of having Balth’s credit card if we use it at his bar?” Castiel asked as he pulled up in front of the chic lounge his brother owned.
Gabriel had the grace to blush. “Well… he doesn’t know I have his credit card.”
Castiel gave him a blank look. “You stole it?”
“Borrowed it,” Gabriel huffed. “Le Porte was having a sale.”
“And where is Le Porte?” Castiel asked.
Gabriel grinned, “Paris.” Castiel just rolled his eyes as he climbed out of his black Suburban; Gabriel scrambled down from the other side.
It was still fairly early in the evening, but there was already a line of hot young socialites and desperate looking young wannabes waiting in line behind the violet velvet rope.
“Hey Bruno,” Gabriel grinned at the bouncer.
“Gabe, good to see you, and if it isn’t the boss’s brother, the Fed… What brings you down off your high horse, Sir?” Bruno grinned, the look softening his meaty face. Castiel was not a small man, but his brother’s head bouncer towered over him and had the breadth akin to a prized bull. If Castiel wasn’t armed and expertly trained, he would have been intimidated, even if he knew deep down that the man was a sweetheart who would not shut up about his two cats if you let him get started.
“Free booze,” Castiel responded honestly.
Bruno chuckled. “Don’t let me stop you then.” He moved aside and Castiel and Gabriel strolled through, looking completely out of place in their rumpled suits. Many of the eagerly-waiting patrons-to-be grumbled and jeered not so quietly, but were quelled instantly upon receiving one of Bruno’s glares.
Once inside and through the initial hallway where they received their glowing wrist bands and hand stamps, Gabriel and Castiel weaved their way through the throngs. Gabriel clutched at Castiel’s sleeve, dragging him along. Gabriel’s slighter form managed to weasel around the writhing bodies with ease.
Castiel let out a breath as they finally managed to get to the back of the room, where a door marked ‘Private’ led to a sound-proofed hallway with offices and the employee lounge beyond. Gabriel left Castiel at the door of Balthazar’s office, then wandered down the hallway to the back entrance of the VIP suite, where they’d be spending most of their night.
Castiel didn’t bother knocking when he pushed the door open. Balthazar looked up, an angry exclamation hovering on his lips, before he grinned and gave a small wave. He was sitting with his feet up on his desk, a sleek headset attached to the ear, trying to arrange something with the disembodied tinny voice on the other end. Cas went over to an artsy print that was hanging on the wall and gently moved it aside. Sitting behind was a high-tech safe complete with both keypad and thumb print access. Castiel wandered back over to his brother and unceremoniously pulled him out of his seat.
“Ricky… I told you, I’m not paying more than a quarter of a mil for that, so you can stop being ridiculous and just tell me when the bloody thing will be at my back stoop and waiting. Yes, I understand that Jay-Z was willing to give you a half but sweetheart, I’m not Jay-Z. We’re old mates you and I.” Balthazar had a smarmy grin in place as he talked. The younger man easily allowed Castiel to manhandle him and press his finger against the thumb-pad before Cas released the blond and punched in the combination for the safe himself. The door unlatched with a hiss and Castiel opened the small safe, setting his main Glock 22 in it, followed by the smaller Glock 17 that he kept in a holster attached to his ankle.
“I don’t care what Mr. Beyoncé wants, he’s getting enough of attention now that he’s knocked her up... What? Now you’re bringing Sir Elton into this? He doesn’t even live in this country, what does he want with it anyway? Oh… well, that’s too much information. If you tell me that Brangelina wants it next, you and I are through and I’m taking my business el-” Castiel watched with raised eyebrow, still not used to all the name dropping his brother was doing.
“Fifteen? Oh Sweetheart, you’re a peach. Love and kisses, ciao!” Balthazar pressed a button on the side of his streamlined headset to hang up before hugging his brother tightly. “Cassy! What are you doing here?”
“Free booze,” Castiel said for the second time that night, returning the hug only somewhat awkwardly. “What was that all about?”
“Something boring,” Balthazar waved it off.
“What could possibly be boring for fifteen thousand dollars?” Castiel asked. The agent frowned, “It’s legal, isn’t it?”
“I wouldn’t tell you if it wasn’t,” Balthazar said airily.
Castiel didn’t point out that Balth hadn’t, in fact, told him anything. He decided that he really didn’t want to know, and let it slide. He didn’t want to have to arrest his little brother… again…
“Your husband dragged me here,” Castiel said. “I just wanted to go throw your money away elsewhere but then he told me you didn’t know that he had your credit card.”
“Which one?” Balthazar asked, patting down his pockets.
“Which husband?” Cas let a smirk curl his lips.
“You shouldn’t make jokes, Darling,” Balthazar said, “you aren’t funny.”
“The black one,” Castiel shrugged figuring that was enough.
“Again, which one?”
Castiel blinked, richer than God? That was suddenly sounding like and understatement. “Ah… the metal one?”
“That little bitch,” Balthazar chuckled. “Where did he wander off to?”
“VIP lounge I imagine, but that was a few minutes ago. He may have made his way into the crowd by now.”
Balthazar pulled off his headset and tossed it unceremoniously on his desk, then immediately pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and answered a text, grinning, “I swear, I’m astounding.”
Castiel wisely chose not to question this time.
“Dean with you?” Balthazar asked as they made their way down the hall.
“No, his Halloween Carnival is tomorrow at the school, and his parents are flying in from Lawrence tonight. Gabe cornered me at the shooting range and demanded I share my feelings,” Castiel replied.
“And we all know how that goes,” Balthazar rolled his eyes.
“Hence our pursuit for gratuitous libation,” Castiel replied with a nod.
“You two, I swear, you only love me for my money,” Balthazar sighed.
“I only love your for your money. The fact that you sleep with Gabriel is probably why he’s been around so long, though you made him sign a prenup and he does love the money,” Castiel replied. “Oh, speaking of money... I should ask you if you want to donate some for Dean’s kids. They’re fundraising for the various countries that have been hit with natural disasters over the last year or so.”
“Oh, of course, I’ll write you a cheque. You know how much I like kids.” Balthazar paused before he smirked and said, “And Dean.” Castiel shot him a dark look. Balthazar chuckled again.
They had reached the lounge, and after pushing through the curtain, they noticed Gabriel was conspicuously absent, which meant the small man was lost in the crowd below. Balthazar sighed and headed to the stairs, about to descend, when his phone rang.
Balthazar looked at the caller ID and grimaced, “I have to take this. When you find Gabe, bring him back up and we’ll all have a drink.”
Castiel nodded and waved his brother off. He shrugged out of his suit jacket and tie, rolling up the sleeves of his white dress shirt and unbuttoning to the second button so he didn’t feel as if he were being suffocated. He handed both discarded items to the silently waiting hostess and then un-tucked his shirt. It was, of course, wrinkled beyond imagining. A host came over almost immediately, a hand held steamer at the ready, and gave Castiel a thorough once-over with the item. Castiel thanked them both awkwardly and sucked in a breath to make his way through the crowd.
Just as he was making his way along the artfully appointed bar, he spotted a familiar head of long brunette hair and almost turned and fled the establishment. But in his distraction to find Gabriel he wasn’t fast enough, and he was caught sight of in the same moment. It was Meg, his ex-girlfriend, and also one of his greatest regrets.
“Well, well, if it isn’t Castiel. You’re looking good, Baby,” she purred.
xx
Castiel never would understand what drew him to this woman. Though he confidently played both sides of the field, he had always been drawn more towards men with lighter hair and eyes. Meg was a woman, and very much a woman at that. She was all soft curves and lithe movement. Dark eyes, dark hair and lush full lips. Her eyes smouldered a little wickedly as she looked at you, she moved a little predatorily when she stalked towards you, and would speak in a lilting tone when addressing you. Maybe it was because of the fact that she was so new and different that Castiel found himself drawn to her.
Meg wasn’t a large woman, and sometimes Castiel would feel like he would shatter her petite form. He was more used to harder, toned bodies, but she had power in her and gave as good as she got.
Their brief relationship should not have even begun in the first place. She was an informant from Lilith’s ring, one of her girls. Meg was a high-class courtesan who was more for companionship than sex, but sex did come into it occasionally. She also could do things with her tongue that made the even embarrassingly experienced Castiel’s head spin at times.
Castiel was a professional; he should never have crossed the line that he crossed, but he was becoming a little disillusioned in those days. He never felt like he was getting anywhere, and Meg was a wonderful way to release his frustrations. Their passion filled, firework quick, relationship had been mostly about the sex, it was true, but Castiel did like her as a person. He found her interesting and intriguing, even if she was a horrible influence on him.
One evening, Meg was leading him to meet a contact, in an abandoned prison of all things. They had been ambushed. Castiel had little trouble putting their attackers down and when he was done, Meg grabbed him and kissed him. A moment later he was shoving her against a wall and hiking her skirt up over her hips. After that brief interlude, the meeting went off without a hitch.
As their relationship wore on, Castiel found their impromptu sessions happening again and again, almost every time they went out somewhere. He would take Meg in the most inappropriate places. Then, one day she betrayed him, and it all came tumbling down as quickly as it started. Castiel never stopped hating her for it, and it also made him a little sad. She was the last woman he allowed himself to be with.
xx
“Meg,” Castiel said deceptively calm. Dean, Dean, Dean, Dean, was being chanted in his head all the while, using it as an anchor to prevent him from doing something foolish like slapping that smug look off her face. It didn’t help that she looked good as well. Dean, Dean, Dean, Dean.
“What brings you here?” She sidled up to him, standing as close as she could without touching him. Her slightly too-sweet perfume and hairspray tingled his nose.
He took a step back, but found himself pressed against the bar top.
“What’sa matter, Baby, not happy to see me?” Meg lowered her lashes and blinked up at him, pulling her darkly painted lips into a soft ‘o.’
“Not particularly. You almost cost me my job,” Castiel gritted, wanting to escape. Wanting to escape her, and wanting to escape the way the heat of her body against his was stirring something that made him feel ill at the same time his body reacted in a much more interesting way. It was not a comfortable feeling. Dean. Dean. Dean. Dean.
“Aww, don’t be like that,” she came closer, pressing the soft swell of her breasts against his chest, feather light, “all’s fair in love and war.”
That’s all it took for Castiel to raise his arms and gently move her away from him. Castiel managed to give himself enough room to get out from between her and the bar and take two steps out into the crowd, leaving them more than an arm’s reach away. She pouted up at him and wanted to take another step forward, was in fact beginning to do just that, when a voice called out across the rumbling of the club.
“Cassy!”
Castiel was never so glad to see his friend and brother-in-law in his life, and visibly sagged at the relief in it all.
“Gabe!” he beamed, throwing the slight man off-balance for a moment. He slung his arm over the smaller man’s shoulder and pulled him tight against his side. “I’ve been looking for you, Sweetheart.” Meg’s eyes widened then she frowned and looked at both men suspiciously before pasting a smile back on her face.
“Well, see you around, Cassy. So nice to run into you,” she melted off into the crowd.
“Ahh… first of all… Ew,” Gabriel extricated himself from Castiel’s side. “And second of all, what the hell?”
Castiel said nothing, just grabbed Gabriel’s half-full glass of amber liquid and downed it in one go. “Let’s go find Balth.”
“All righty then,” Gabriel remarked, slightly wide-eyed. It was Castiel’s turn to grab Gabe by the sleeve and lead him through the crowd. He was not venturing out solo again tonight. That was for sure.
Castiel’s plan failed miserably, and he would live to regret it.
The shock of seeing Meg led him to have a little more than he intended, and he now found himself spectacularly tipsy, or perhaps just this side of drunk. As it was, he was trying to navigate his way through the writhing masses to the door for some fresh air and kept getting turned around. It wasn’t at all long before he found himself the complete opposite direction than he had intended to be in, and that’s when the shit hit the fan.
“There you are, I’ve been waiting to get you alone all night,” an all too familiar voice reached his ears. They were in a more secluded area of the club nearest the restrooms, but Meg still had to sidle up close to him to make herself heard over the throb of the music. Her cloying perfume mixed with her luring heat made his head spin a little… He just wanted some fresh air. Without warning, she came around towards his front and pressed the full length of her body against his, her supple breasts teasing through their thin shirts. He tried to resist, he really did, but it wasn’t at all long before she was up on her toes and pressing her lips against his. He didn’t react right away, alcohol saturated mind causing him to freeze, but then she moved her lips against his and that all-too-talented tongue came out and he snapped his eyes open.
“No, stop I have-”
“What?” she said with a pout.
“Someone, my… I have someone,” Castiel panted out. “You can’t.”
She pulled back only slightly, cruelly narrowing her eyes. “Oh? And which one of those ‘someones’ are you worried about hurting, Castiel? That pretty little green-eyed fuck toy you have, or the floppy-haired hobbit you were with earlier? What’s one more Castiel?”
Castiel knew there was something off in that statement, but he couldn’t process it at the moment.
He just shook his head and said, “You have to go. Just st-” And then her lips were on his again, and it was familiar, and the rawness of what they had all came rushing back in that one booze-fogged moment, and he found himself spinning her around and shoving her none-too-gently against the smooth black of the wall.
Then she moaned into his mouth and that sound was just wrong. It was too high, too breathy, and Castiel pulled away in an instant, his stomach turning to acid. He ran and fled to the washroom, locking the multi-stalled room behind him and leaning over the sink, panting heavily. He splashed water on his face, as cold as he could get it, then just stood there, winded and huffing, leaning bodily on the sink for more minutes than he realized. A knock and a loud angry voice jolted him back to the present, and Castiel rushed over to the door, unlocking it.
“Whaz yer pro’lem, Bro? Jeeeeez-uuhss,” the man brushed violently passed Castiel. “I gotsta piss like a fuh’gin rassshors.”
Castiel stood there a moment longer before taking a deep breath and making his way back up to the VIP lounge to his waiting brothers. He was on edge the entire way across the crowd, eyes tracking around for any very unwanted sightings of Meg.
When he made it to the relative safety of the stairs, he let himself relax a little as he climbed them. The moment he reached his family, he would get his things and have Balthazar call him a car. He needed to go home. Once he made it to the landing he almost lost his footing.
“Hiya Cas, a little Balthie told me you’d be needing a ride home tonight.”
Dean.
Dean was there, reclined casually in the plush seating of the VIP lounge, dressed deliciously in the dark jeans with the rip just above his knee, and his white button-down and black blazer. He was perfect and beautiful, and Castiel’s stomach turned to lead at the same time it revolted against his ribcage, and he almost choked on his own breath. Guilt washed over him like the high, rough tide of a storm.
“Did you want to stay a bit more or were you ready now?” Dean continued, his hand midway between reaching for the pricy imported sparkling water the hostess was handing him, waiting for an answer. Castiel didn’t think, he just grabbed the nearest drink (which happened to be Gabriel’s again, much to the small man’s protests) and took a long swallow.
“Okay then, one drink it is,” Dean reached up and smiled winningly at the hostess, white teeth flashing in the low lighting. Castiel let out a noise somewhere between a laugh and a sob, and missed Gabriel’s suspicious look entirely.
xx
Castiel entered their apartment later that night, leaning heavily against Dean and feeling like shit wrapped in a used newspaper from a fish market, sprinkled with asbestos.
“Dean, I’m so sorry,” he murmured against Dean’s warm, familiar shoulder, Dean’s spicy rich scent greeting him and comforting him.
Dean laughed, “Hey Man, no worries. You know I never fault you for relaxing a little. You do it so rarely, it’s not a big deal. Mom and Dad are at Sammy’s and Jess’s so you don’t have to worry about them seeing my lush of a boyfriend, if that’s what has you all concerned, and you’ll have plenty of time to shake the hangover before the Carnival tomorrow night. I make the best hangover cures, one thing that I learned and will always cherish from my MIT days.”
Dean thought he was apologizing for being a drunken asshole. I have to make him understand!
“Dean no, I’m sorry I-”
Dean turned and smiled gently at him, interrupting, “Babe, relax. Any time you get the stick out of your ass it’s a good thing. You’ve had way too much stress lately. Besides, you were with Gabe and Balth, it’s not like you could have gotten yourself in any trouble.” Dean chuckled.
Cas sobbed, “No Dean I-”
“Cas,” Dean more firmly now, “seriously, enough. Let’s get to bed, all right? You gotta drink a bottle of water for me though first, okay?”
Castiel could only nod. “Yes, Dean. Anything.”
Dean gave him a funny look. “Dude you are so beyond hammered it’s actually a little sad. You must have seriously been going at it-“
“What?! No!” Castiel said panicked. There was no ‘seriously going at it’ with Meg, it was one kiss! Cas stopped the kiss. He did, he really did. It wasn’t Dean; it was wrong.
Dean chuckled again, “Come on Cas, give it up. Your tolerance is through the roof and you were bumming off Balth the entire night. It’s cool, no worries. Remember that time you had to clean me up after Sammy’s graduation party for Law School? Man, that was something dark, right there. So this? Nothing.”
“Dean…” Cas tried one more time, more desperately now.
“Come on Babe. Water, then sleep. You can tell me all about it tomorrow,” Dean’s smile was indulgent as he sat Cas at the kitchen table and fished a bottle of water from the fridge. He cracked the lid and put it down in front of the agent.
Castiel didn’t reach out, he just stared at it, slumped in his chair, feeling like the worst thing to ever belly-crawl along the earth.
“Don’t make me force it in. Drink up,” Dean urged.
Castiel finally reached out and drank. The water that would normally have been cool and refreshing went down like ashes. Castiel choked as he swallowed.
End Chapter
Previous | Master Post | Next
Author: Stolen Childe
Disclaimer: Supernatural and all associated characters belong to Kripke and Co. I make absolutely no claims on any of them.
Warnings: [Chapter Spoiler]one part may be read as minor dub-con if you're sensitive to the situation - nothing graphic though
Special Thanks to dapperscript for the wonderful beta! Thank you!
Please see Master Post for Notes, Cover Art and Further Information
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Castiel fired off round after round from his Glock, and then gently set it on the table in front of him after thumbing on the safety. He hit the switch that would bring the target towards him. He pulled off the heavy-duty earmuffs and then pulled each yellow foam plug from his ears. When the target settled, Cas could see six perfect shots nestled right over the paper target’s ‘heart’, and two perfect shots in its ‘forehead.’ Castiel didn’t feel any better.
He heard a knock on the second set of Plexiglas doors and saw it was Dr. Gabriel Tricks on the other side, their branch’s resident shrink.
“What’s going on there, Cassy?” Gabe grinned.
Castiel winced; he had known Gabriel for a long time. They had been friends in college. Gabriel - who had already been working with the FBI for several years - had been instrumental in helping Castiel get to where he was today, thanks to glowing recommendations. That, however, didn’t mean that Castiel had to like the stupid nickname Gabriel had pilfered from Castiel’s half-brother, Balthazar.
“Don’t call me that,” Castiel said.
“All righty Cas.” Gabriel’s grin turned just this side of wicked.
“Not that either,” Castiel retorted; only the Winchesters were allowed to use that nickname.
“God, Castiel is so stuffy though,” Gabriel whined.
“It’s my name.”
“Duh,” Gabe rolled his eyes. “Anywho… not here to talk about that. I wanna know what’s got a bee in your bonnet, not that I don’t already know. But humour me, jump on up here and tell Unca Gabe all about it.” Gabriel patted the window ledge next to him.
“You sound like a lecher when you say that,” Castiel said, but came over to Gabriel nonetheless. The blue-eyed man hopped up to sit on the wide ledge next to the psychiatrist.
“Using that word of the day calendar I got you?” Gabriel leaned up against the window, pillowing his head in his raised arms.
“No, I read,” Castiel replied. Gabriel made a face in response and the silence stretched on for a while between them.
“So…” Gabriel finally started.
“So what?” Castiel flatly returned.
“Are you gonna tell me how signing your boy-toy up for this gig has your little heart in ribbons and your stomach trying to eat its way out of your body with guilt? Or are we just going to sit here and shoot the breeze like all is right in the world of Special Agent L’Ange?”
“We never just sit and ‘shoot the breeze’ Gabriel. You tell me what I’m never going to say. I deny that is how I’m feeling. You retort that you know me better than I know myself, you ‘fix’ me. We go home, then do it all again during the next afterschool special. So can we just skip to the go home part and replace it with grabbing a drink?”
Gabriel sighed, “Fine. But only because I’ve been trying to drag you into the down and dirty life of alcoholism for years and this is a damn good way to start.”
“Your wit is endless and my amusement is eternal,” Castiel said sardonically, and slid off the ledge.
“Yes, yes, I know,” Gabriel said airily, “you’d marry me if your ass wasn’t already spoken for by that sweet young thing of yours. Damn that boy’s mouth, Cassy. How come you always get the pretty ones and I’m stuck with your brother?”
Castiel snorted, “Because you have a weakness for blue-eyed blonds with accents. Let’s go.” Castiel picked up his gun and tucked it away, placing his earmuffs in the container to be sanitized.
“You’re buying,” Gabriel said brightly.
“Like hell, my brother’s buying. He’s richer than God, he can afford it.”
“Good thing he gave me his Centurion Card then,” Gabe grinned, flashing the black piece of titanium like the proverbial gold it was. Castiel gaped at him for a moment, before chuckling and shaking his head as they headed out of the building.
xx
When Castiel had first met the then 20-year-old Balthazar Black, he hated him on sight. This smarmy, cocky, British bastard was the reason that his mother had cried herself to sleep for a year before succumbing to liver failure and passing away. Castiel had succeeded in ignoring Balthazar’s existence for the better part of two years, and then with a simple knock, he couldn’t anymore.
Jimmy, always the charitable one, always the friendly and open one, welcomed a new little brother into the fold with open arms. Castiel always suspected that for Jimmy, not being the youngest any longer in their family was a relief; even if Jimmy was only five minutes younger than Castiel, he was still the youngest.
It had been Michael who allowed him into their home originally. Michael tended to be a lot more forgiving than he was sometimes given credit for. It also didn’t help that he idolized their father to the point of discomfort. But, it was what it was. Michael was also basically in charge around their home ever since their mother had kicked their father out, and she had started her downward spiral.
Michael was thirteen years older than Cas and Jimmy. Luce, their middle brother, was three years younger than Michael. Luce rejected Balthazar immediately and refused to speak to him. It had been no surprise; Luce always had a hard time dealing with new siblings. He outright hated Jimmy and Castiel for the first three years of their lives. He resented not being the baby brother any longer, and he resented that Castiel and Jimmy took up most of their mother’s time. Luce had always been a favourite with their parents, and to have his world pulled out from under him with the surprise twins was, well… a surprise. Castiel and Jimmy had, quite frankly, been an accident, and if Balthazar was anything to go by, their father had a habit of having accidents.
Despite all his flare and flamboyance, Balthazar was rather shy when he met his brothers for the first time. His own mother had died, leaving him the single heir of a vast wealth, and free to do whatever he pleased with it. He had no other family back in England but had always hated to be alone. So he had called a lawyer, had her find the long-lost brothers and father, and was at their doorstep within a week.
“Hello. I don’t know if you know who I am, my name’s Balthazar Black I’m y-”
“Brother,” Michael finished, somewhat in awe. The boy before them was a near spitting image of their father at that age, if pictures were anything to go by. The only other brother in the household who could boast that honour was Luce. Castiel and Jimmy were identical and looked the most like their half-Russian mother right down to thick dark hair, and brilliant blue eyes. Michael hovered with a happy medium between both his parents; his eyes were also blue, but lighter, more like the summer sky than the blue sapphire of dusk, but his hair was somewhat of a mid-hued reddish-brown. Luce and Balthazar were both bright blond, with just the barest discernible amount of mischievousness in those sky blue eyes.
Balthazar was only two years younger than Castiel and Jimmy. Their father had succeeded in keeping his love-child a secret, until, on the eve of his eighteenth birthday, Balthazar had called them out of the blue and their happy little life of ignorant bliss was blown to shreds. Castiel joined the military the next day.
Needless to say, Castiel and Balthazar were like night and day. It was a surprise to all of them when they ended up being the closest amongst the brothers. Balthazar idolized Cas, looked up to him with scarcely-guarded near-reverence, and teased him mercilessly while doing it. Castiel felt his little brother’s behaviour towards him puzzling, but indulged it with mild fondness. Despite his initial reaction to the entrance of the boy into their lives, there was just something about him that won you over. The only exception was Luce, who never really warmed up to Balthazar, but Luce never really warmed up to anyone.
While Castiel was on leave for a few days, he had returned home to visit his brothers and had run across his friend Gabriel from college at the train station. He and Gabriel talked as if no time had passed and Castiel ended up inviting Gabriel home to have dinner with his family that night. When the slight brunette man met the young blond they were both lost and, from that point on, basically welded together.
xx
“What’s the point of having Balth’s credit card if we use it at his bar?” Castiel asked as he pulled up in front of the chic lounge his brother owned.
Gabriel had the grace to blush. “Well… he doesn’t know I have his credit card.”
Castiel gave him a blank look. “You stole it?”
“Borrowed it,” Gabriel huffed. “Le Porte was having a sale.”
“And where is Le Porte?” Castiel asked.
Gabriel grinned, “Paris.” Castiel just rolled his eyes as he climbed out of his black Suburban; Gabriel scrambled down from the other side.
It was still fairly early in the evening, but there was already a line of hot young socialites and desperate looking young wannabes waiting in line behind the violet velvet rope.
“Hey Bruno,” Gabriel grinned at the bouncer.
“Gabe, good to see you, and if it isn’t the boss’s brother, the Fed… What brings you down off your high horse, Sir?” Bruno grinned, the look softening his meaty face. Castiel was not a small man, but his brother’s head bouncer towered over him and had the breadth akin to a prized bull. If Castiel wasn’t armed and expertly trained, he would have been intimidated, even if he knew deep down that the man was a sweetheart who would not shut up about his two cats if you let him get started.
“Free booze,” Castiel responded honestly.
Bruno chuckled. “Don’t let me stop you then.” He moved aside and Castiel and Gabriel strolled through, looking completely out of place in their rumpled suits. Many of the eagerly-waiting patrons-to-be grumbled and jeered not so quietly, but were quelled instantly upon receiving one of Bruno’s glares.
Once inside and through the initial hallway where they received their glowing wrist bands and hand stamps, Gabriel and Castiel weaved their way through the throngs. Gabriel clutched at Castiel’s sleeve, dragging him along. Gabriel’s slighter form managed to weasel around the writhing bodies with ease.
Castiel let out a breath as they finally managed to get to the back of the room, where a door marked ‘Private’ led to a sound-proofed hallway with offices and the employee lounge beyond. Gabriel left Castiel at the door of Balthazar’s office, then wandered down the hallway to the back entrance of the VIP suite, where they’d be spending most of their night.
Castiel didn’t bother knocking when he pushed the door open. Balthazar looked up, an angry exclamation hovering on his lips, before he grinned and gave a small wave. He was sitting with his feet up on his desk, a sleek headset attached to the ear, trying to arrange something with the disembodied tinny voice on the other end. Cas went over to an artsy print that was hanging on the wall and gently moved it aside. Sitting behind was a high-tech safe complete with both keypad and thumb print access. Castiel wandered back over to his brother and unceremoniously pulled him out of his seat.
“Ricky… I told you, I’m not paying more than a quarter of a mil for that, so you can stop being ridiculous and just tell me when the bloody thing will be at my back stoop and waiting. Yes, I understand that Jay-Z was willing to give you a half but sweetheart, I’m not Jay-Z. We’re old mates you and I.” Balthazar had a smarmy grin in place as he talked. The younger man easily allowed Castiel to manhandle him and press his finger against the thumb-pad before Cas released the blond and punched in the combination for the safe himself. The door unlatched with a hiss and Castiel opened the small safe, setting his main Glock 22 in it, followed by the smaller Glock 17 that he kept in a holster attached to his ankle.
“I don’t care what Mr. Beyoncé wants, he’s getting enough of attention now that he’s knocked her up... What? Now you’re bringing Sir Elton into this? He doesn’t even live in this country, what does he want with it anyway? Oh… well, that’s too much information. If you tell me that Brangelina wants it next, you and I are through and I’m taking my business el-” Castiel watched with raised eyebrow, still not used to all the name dropping his brother was doing.
“Fifteen? Oh Sweetheart, you’re a peach. Love and kisses, ciao!” Balthazar pressed a button on the side of his streamlined headset to hang up before hugging his brother tightly. “Cassy! What are you doing here?”
“Free booze,” Castiel said for the second time that night, returning the hug only somewhat awkwardly. “What was that all about?”
“Something boring,” Balthazar waved it off.
“What could possibly be boring for fifteen thousand dollars?” Castiel asked. The agent frowned, “It’s legal, isn’t it?”
“I wouldn’t tell you if it wasn’t,” Balthazar said airily.
Castiel didn’t point out that Balth hadn’t, in fact, told him anything. He decided that he really didn’t want to know, and let it slide. He didn’t want to have to arrest his little brother… again…
“Your husband dragged me here,” Castiel said. “I just wanted to go throw your money away elsewhere but then he told me you didn’t know that he had your credit card.”
“Which one?” Balthazar asked, patting down his pockets.
“Which husband?” Cas let a smirk curl his lips.
“You shouldn’t make jokes, Darling,” Balthazar said, “you aren’t funny.”
“The black one,” Castiel shrugged figuring that was enough.
“Again, which one?”
Castiel blinked, richer than God? That was suddenly sounding like and understatement. “Ah… the metal one?”
“That little bitch,” Balthazar chuckled. “Where did he wander off to?”
“VIP lounge I imagine, but that was a few minutes ago. He may have made his way into the crowd by now.”
Balthazar pulled off his headset and tossed it unceremoniously on his desk, then immediately pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and answered a text, grinning, “I swear, I’m astounding.”
Castiel wisely chose not to question this time.
“Dean with you?” Balthazar asked as they made their way down the hall.
“No, his Halloween Carnival is tomorrow at the school, and his parents are flying in from Lawrence tonight. Gabe cornered me at the shooting range and demanded I share my feelings,” Castiel replied.
“And we all know how that goes,” Balthazar rolled his eyes.
“Hence our pursuit for gratuitous libation,” Castiel replied with a nod.
“You two, I swear, you only love me for my money,” Balthazar sighed.
“I only love your for your money. The fact that you sleep with Gabriel is probably why he’s been around so long, though you made him sign a prenup and he does love the money,” Castiel replied. “Oh, speaking of money... I should ask you if you want to donate some for Dean’s kids. They’re fundraising for the various countries that have been hit with natural disasters over the last year or so.”
“Oh, of course, I’ll write you a cheque. You know how much I like kids.” Balthazar paused before he smirked and said, “And Dean.” Castiel shot him a dark look. Balthazar chuckled again.
They had reached the lounge, and after pushing through the curtain, they noticed Gabriel was conspicuously absent, which meant the small man was lost in the crowd below. Balthazar sighed and headed to the stairs, about to descend, when his phone rang.
Balthazar looked at the caller ID and grimaced, “I have to take this. When you find Gabe, bring him back up and we’ll all have a drink.”
Castiel nodded and waved his brother off. He shrugged out of his suit jacket and tie, rolling up the sleeves of his white dress shirt and unbuttoning to the second button so he didn’t feel as if he were being suffocated. He handed both discarded items to the silently waiting hostess and then un-tucked his shirt. It was, of course, wrinkled beyond imagining. A host came over almost immediately, a hand held steamer at the ready, and gave Castiel a thorough once-over with the item. Castiel thanked them both awkwardly and sucked in a breath to make his way through the crowd.
Just as he was making his way along the artfully appointed bar, he spotted a familiar head of long brunette hair and almost turned and fled the establishment. But in his distraction to find Gabriel he wasn’t fast enough, and he was caught sight of in the same moment. It was Meg, his ex-girlfriend, and also one of his greatest regrets.
“Well, well, if it isn’t Castiel. You’re looking good, Baby,” she purred.
xx
Castiel never would understand what drew him to this woman. Though he confidently played both sides of the field, he had always been drawn more towards men with lighter hair and eyes. Meg was a woman, and very much a woman at that. She was all soft curves and lithe movement. Dark eyes, dark hair and lush full lips. Her eyes smouldered a little wickedly as she looked at you, she moved a little predatorily when she stalked towards you, and would speak in a lilting tone when addressing you. Maybe it was because of the fact that she was so new and different that Castiel found himself drawn to her.
Meg wasn’t a large woman, and sometimes Castiel would feel like he would shatter her petite form. He was more used to harder, toned bodies, but she had power in her and gave as good as she got.
Their brief relationship should not have even begun in the first place. She was an informant from Lilith’s ring, one of her girls. Meg was a high-class courtesan who was more for companionship than sex, but sex did come into it occasionally. She also could do things with her tongue that made the even embarrassingly experienced Castiel’s head spin at times.
Castiel was a professional; he should never have crossed the line that he crossed, but he was becoming a little disillusioned in those days. He never felt like he was getting anywhere, and Meg was a wonderful way to release his frustrations. Their passion filled, firework quick, relationship had been mostly about the sex, it was true, but Castiel did like her as a person. He found her interesting and intriguing, even if she was a horrible influence on him.
One evening, Meg was leading him to meet a contact, in an abandoned prison of all things. They had been ambushed. Castiel had little trouble putting their attackers down and when he was done, Meg grabbed him and kissed him. A moment later he was shoving her against a wall and hiking her skirt up over her hips. After that brief interlude, the meeting went off without a hitch.
As their relationship wore on, Castiel found their impromptu sessions happening again and again, almost every time they went out somewhere. He would take Meg in the most inappropriate places. Then, one day she betrayed him, and it all came tumbling down as quickly as it started. Castiel never stopped hating her for it, and it also made him a little sad. She was the last woman he allowed himself to be with.
xx
“Meg,” Castiel said deceptively calm. Dean, Dean, Dean, Dean, was being chanted in his head all the while, using it as an anchor to prevent him from doing something foolish like slapping that smug look off her face. It didn’t help that she looked good as well. Dean, Dean, Dean, Dean.
“What brings you here?” She sidled up to him, standing as close as she could without touching him. Her slightly too-sweet perfume and hairspray tingled his nose.
He took a step back, but found himself pressed against the bar top.
“What’sa matter, Baby, not happy to see me?” Meg lowered her lashes and blinked up at him, pulling her darkly painted lips into a soft ‘o.’
“Not particularly. You almost cost me my job,” Castiel gritted, wanting to escape. Wanting to escape her, and wanting to escape the way the heat of her body against his was stirring something that made him feel ill at the same time his body reacted in a much more interesting way. It was not a comfortable feeling. Dean. Dean. Dean. Dean.
“Aww, don’t be like that,” she came closer, pressing the soft swell of her breasts against his chest, feather light, “all’s fair in love and war.”
That’s all it took for Castiel to raise his arms and gently move her away from him. Castiel managed to give himself enough room to get out from between her and the bar and take two steps out into the crowd, leaving them more than an arm’s reach away. She pouted up at him and wanted to take another step forward, was in fact beginning to do just that, when a voice called out across the rumbling of the club.
“Cassy!”
Castiel was never so glad to see his friend and brother-in-law in his life, and visibly sagged at the relief in it all.
“Gabe!” he beamed, throwing the slight man off-balance for a moment. He slung his arm over the smaller man’s shoulder and pulled him tight against his side. “I’ve been looking for you, Sweetheart.” Meg’s eyes widened then she frowned and looked at both men suspiciously before pasting a smile back on her face.
“Well, see you around, Cassy. So nice to run into you,” she melted off into the crowd.
“Ahh… first of all… Ew,” Gabriel extricated himself from Castiel’s side. “And second of all, what the hell?”
Castiel said nothing, just grabbed Gabriel’s half-full glass of amber liquid and downed it in one go. “Let’s go find Balth.”
“All righty then,” Gabriel remarked, slightly wide-eyed. It was Castiel’s turn to grab Gabe by the sleeve and lead him through the crowd. He was not venturing out solo again tonight. That was for sure.
Castiel’s plan failed miserably, and he would live to regret it.
The shock of seeing Meg led him to have a little more than he intended, and he now found himself spectacularly tipsy, or perhaps just this side of drunk. As it was, he was trying to navigate his way through the writhing masses to the door for some fresh air and kept getting turned around. It wasn’t at all long before he found himself the complete opposite direction than he had intended to be in, and that’s when the shit hit the fan.
“There you are, I’ve been waiting to get you alone all night,” an all too familiar voice reached his ears. They were in a more secluded area of the club nearest the restrooms, but Meg still had to sidle up close to him to make herself heard over the throb of the music. Her cloying perfume mixed with her luring heat made his head spin a little… He just wanted some fresh air. Without warning, she came around towards his front and pressed the full length of her body against his, her supple breasts teasing through their thin shirts. He tried to resist, he really did, but it wasn’t at all long before she was up on her toes and pressing her lips against his. He didn’t react right away, alcohol saturated mind causing him to freeze, but then she moved her lips against his and that all-too-talented tongue came out and he snapped his eyes open.
“No, stop I have-”
“What?” she said with a pout.
“Someone, my… I have someone,” Castiel panted out. “You can’t.”
She pulled back only slightly, cruelly narrowing her eyes. “Oh? And which one of those ‘someones’ are you worried about hurting, Castiel? That pretty little green-eyed fuck toy you have, or the floppy-haired hobbit you were with earlier? What’s one more Castiel?”
Castiel knew there was something off in that statement, but he couldn’t process it at the moment.
He just shook his head and said, “You have to go. Just st-” And then her lips were on his again, and it was familiar, and the rawness of what they had all came rushing back in that one booze-fogged moment, and he found himself spinning her around and shoving her none-too-gently against the smooth black of the wall.
Then she moaned into his mouth and that sound was just wrong. It was too high, too breathy, and Castiel pulled away in an instant, his stomach turning to acid. He ran and fled to the washroom, locking the multi-stalled room behind him and leaning over the sink, panting heavily. He splashed water on his face, as cold as he could get it, then just stood there, winded and huffing, leaning bodily on the sink for more minutes than he realized. A knock and a loud angry voice jolted him back to the present, and Castiel rushed over to the door, unlocking it.
“Whaz yer pro’lem, Bro? Jeeeeez-uuhss,” the man brushed violently passed Castiel. “I gotsta piss like a fuh’gin rassshors.”
Castiel stood there a moment longer before taking a deep breath and making his way back up to the VIP lounge to his waiting brothers. He was on edge the entire way across the crowd, eyes tracking around for any very unwanted sightings of Meg.
When he made it to the relative safety of the stairs, he let himself relax a little as he climbed them. The moment he reached his family, he would get his things and have Balthazar call him a car. He needed to go home. Once he made it to the landing he almost lost his footing.
“Hiya Cas, a little Balthie told me you’d be needing a ride home tonight.”
Dean.
Dean was there, reclined casually in the plush seating of the VIP lounge, dressed deliciously in the dark jeans with the rip just above his knee, and his white button-down and black blazer. He was perfect and beautiful, and Castiel’s stomach turned to lead at the same time it revolted against his ribcage, and he almost choked on his own breath. Guilt washed over him like the high, rough tide of a storm.
“Did you want to stay a bit more or were you ready now?” Dean continued, his hand midway between reaching for the pricy imported sparkling water the hostess was handing him, waiting for an answer. Castiel didn’t think, he just grabbed the nearest drink (which happened to be Gabriel’s again, much to the small man’s protests) and took a long swallow.
“Okay then, one drink it is,” Dean reached up and smiled winningly at the hostess, white teeth flashing in the low lighting. Castiel let out a noise somewhere between a laugh and a sob, and missed Gabriel’s suspicious look entirely.
xx
Castiel entered their apartment later that night, leaning heavily against Dean and feeling like shit wrapped in a used newspaper from a fish market, sprinkled with asbestos.
“Dean, I’m so sorry,” he murmured against Dean’s warm, familiar shoulder, Dean’s spicy rich scent greeting him and comforting him.
Dean laughed, “Hey Man, no worries. You know I never fault you for relaxing a little. You do it so rarely, it’s not a big deal. Mom and Dad are at Sammy’s and Jess’s so you don’t have to worry about them seeing my lush of a boyfriend, if that’s what has you all concerned, and you’ll have plenty of time to shake the hangover before the Carnival tomorrow night. I make the best hangover cures, one thing that I learned and will always cherish from my MIT days.”
Dean thought he was apologizing for being a drunken asshole. I have to make him understand!
“Dean no, I’m sorry I-”
Dean turned and smiled gently at him, interrupting, “Babe, relax. Any time you get the stick out of your ass it’s a good thing. You’ve had way too much stress lately. Besides, you were with Gabe and Balth, it’s not like you could have gotten yourself in any trouble.” Dean chuckled.
Cas sobbed, “No Dean I-”
“Cas,” Dean more firmly now, “seriously, enough. Let’s get to bed, all right? You gotta drink a bottle of water for me though first, okay?”
Castiel could only nod. “Yes, Dean. Anything.”
Dean gave him a funny look. “Dude you are so beyond hammered it’s actually a little sad. You must have seriously been going at it-“
“What?! No!” Castiel said panicked. There was no ‘seriously going at it’ with Meg, it was one kiss! Cas stopped the kiss. He did, he really did. It wasn’t Dean; it was wrong.
Dean chuckled again, “Come on Cas, give it up. Your tolerance is through the roof and you were bumming off Balth the entire night. It’s cool, no worries. Remember that time you had to clean me up after Sammy’s graduation party for Law School? Man, that was something dark, right there. So this? Nothing.”
“Dean…” Cas tried one more time, more desperately now.
“Come on Babe. Water, then sleep. You can tell me all about it tomorrow,” Dean’s smile was indulgent as he sat Cas at the kitchen table and fished a bottle of water from the fridge. He cracked the lid and put it down in front of the agent.
Castiel didn’t reach out, he just stared at it, slumped in his chair, feeling like the worst thing to ever belly-crawl along the earth.
“Don’t make me force it in. Drink up,” Dean urged.
Castiel finally reached out and drank. The water that would normally have been cool and refreshing went down like ashes. Castiel choked as he swallowed.
End Chapter
Previous | Master Post | Next