RP: Hide and Seek
Date: 21 March 2005
Characters: Rabastan Lestrange, An Old Friend
Location: China
Status: Private
Summary: It's time for Rabastan to stop hiding from himself and start accepting that he isn't perfect.
Completion: Complete
"Why have you come, Wolf?"
"I came to celebrate, Master."
"This is not the spirit of a man who celebrates, Wolf. I ask again, why have you come?"
"Would you believe me if I said because I wanted to be among friends?"
"Perhaps. But this is not all. You came wearing your sadness like a cloak. I thought at first you came to heal. But you would say if this is so. I question now why you are here to hide?"
"I do not hide, Master."
"Yes, Wolf, you do. Otherwise you would not have asked me to come 'home'. You would have already been there. You will always have a home here as you have homes with other people. You collect families about you like no one else I have ever known. But these families are not your true ones, Wolf. You are English. You will not escape that no matter where you hide. Your many families accept you because you accept us. I do not know any other who accepts what is for people who are not his own so readily as you. But you do not accept your own. Why is that, Wolf?"
"My people do not accept me, Master."
"Perhaps. But this is not important. You know you can only control yourself. You know this well. This is why I do not understand why you hide. You do not need others to accept you, Wolf. You never have before. You simply go and do what is needed. You simply accept others for what they are. Sometimes you find they accept you in return and sometimes not. Explain to me what is different now, Wolf?"
"I do not know how to do what is needed without acceptance, Master."
"No, Wolf, you do. You do not need acceptance to follow your heart. Acceptance is not needed to offer help. It is only for others to accept your aid or not. They need not accept you to accept your help. Why do you think... Wolf? Is it that you only want to help those that accept you?"
"No! Master, you know that I cannot separate one person who needs help from another."
"But you have. Or you have wished it. This is why you hide. You do not seek acceptance from others. You are here seeking acceptance from yourself. What have you done, Wolf?"
"I have found peace in the death of others, Master."
"But these you did not kill yourself?"
"No, Master, but I wished them gone. I have rejoiced in their deaths. I am relieved that they no longer walk the Earth."
"Celebrating the removal of evil from the world is not a bad thing. You do not need to hide away because of it. Accept yourself as you are. You can always work on who you wish to be. You forget that no one needs to be perfect to be accepted. And that includes you, Wolf."
Rabastan reached a hand up to scrub his scar before he realized that it no longer ached. "You are right, Master. Perhaps it is time I learned to accept myself and other English. We are a judgemental lot."
"Then perhaps you can help change that, Wolf. You embody your animal spirit, Rabastan. It is why I have always called you by its name. You have lost confidence in your decisions because you see rejoicing in the death of anyone, even those as evil as a Dark Wizard and his apprentice, as a break in your vows to protect all life. You need to learn to trust your inner voice again, Wolf. That you feel guilty over the loss of any life, shows you retain your compassion. Accept yourself and do not be afraid to explain yourself to others if their acceptance matters to you. But, Wolf, do not expect them to accept you or your explanations. Whether they do or not is up to them. Now come, we both need to stop hiding ourselves. The children want to see your silly English magic tricks."
Characters: Rabastan Lestrange, An Old Friend
Location: China
Status: Private
Summary: It's time for Rabastan to stop hiding from himself and start accepting that he isn't perfect.
Completion: Complete
"Why have you come, Wolf?"
"I came to celebrate, Master."
"This is not the spirit of a man who celebrates, Wolf. I ask again, why have you come?"
"Would you believe me if I said because I wanted to be among friends?"
"Perhaps. But this is not all. You came wearing your sadness like a cloak. I thought at first you came to heal. But you would say if this is so. I question now why you are here to hide?"
"I do not hide, Master."
"Yes, Wolf, you do. Otherwise you would not have asked me to come 'home'. You would have already been there. You will always have a home here as you have homes with other people. You collect families about you like no one else I have ever known. But these families are not your true ones, Wolf. You are English. You will not escape that no matter where you hide. Your many families accept you because you accept us. I do not know any other who accepts what is for people who are not his own so readily as you. But you do not accept your own. Why is that, Wolf?"
"My people do not accept me, Master."
"Perhaps. But this is not important. You know you can only control yourself. You know this well. This is why I do not understand why you hide. You do not need others to accept you, Wolf. You never have before. You simply go and do what is needed. You simply accept others for what they are. Sometimes you find they accept you in return and sometimes not. Explain to me what is different now, Wolf?"
"I do not know how to do what is needed without acceptance, Master."
"No, Wolf, you do. You do not need acceptance to follow your heart. Acceptance is not needed to offer help. It is only for others to accept your aid or not. They need not accept you to accept your help. Why do you think... Wolf? Is it that you only want to help those that accept you?"
"No! Master, you know that I cannot separate one person who needs help from another."
"But you have. Or you have wished it. This is why you hide. You do not seek acceptance from others. You are here seeking acceptance from yourself. What have you done, Wolf?"
"I have found peace in the death of others, Master."
"But these you did not kill yourself?"
"No, Master, but I wished them gone. I have rejoiced in their deaths. I am relieved that they no longer walk the Earth."
"Celebrating the removal of evil from the world is not a bad thing. You do not need to hide away because of it. Accept yourself as you are. You can always work on who you wish to be. You forget that no one needs to be perfect to be accepted. And that includes you, Wolf."
Rabastan reached a hand up to scrub his scar before he realized that it no longer ached. "You are right, Master. Perhaps it is time I learned to accept myself and other English. We are a judgemental lot."
"Then perhaps you can help change that, Wolf. You embody your animal spirit, Rabastan. It is why I have always called you by its name. You have lost confidence in your decisions because you see rejoicing in the death of anyone, even those as evil as a Dark Wizard and his apprentice, as a break in your vows to protect all life. You need to learn to trust your inner voice again, Wolf. That you feel guilty over the loss of any life, shows you retain your compassion. Accept yourself and do not be afraid to explain yourself to others if their acceptance matters to you. But, Wolf, do not expect them to accept you or your explanations. Whether they do or not is up to them. Now come, we both need to stop hiding ourselves. The children want to see your silly English magic tricks."