001. (v2) [audio + commentlog/open]

[stillseecracks]

A...Again?

[Xanth lets out a hollow, bitter laugh.]

I... n-no, you, you have to be k--kidding. I-I already d--did this. M-My world was... a-already gone. Th--The End took it. K-K'lai, a-and Grams, they... th-they were... already gone.

[He takes in a shuddering breath. His chest tightens, his voice cracks.]N--Now you say it... it's all g-gone?

Comments

[Audio]

[lightyourway]

Hey...

[This is strange.]

Do you mean the letter?

[Because they already talked about that. Weeks ago.]

[Commentlog]

[lightyourway]

[Kairi stares at him for a good thirty seconds. That doesn't make any sense, and yet, at the same time, it seemed right. When she'd first met Xanth, he hadn't know anything other than his own world. This boy obviously knew more.]

So, you know about other worlds and... other selves?

[She hesitated to call Namine a nobody. How could she disregard another part of herself?]

[Commentlog]

[stillseecracks]

[Those thirty seconds are extremely tense. What if Kairi thinks he's insane? How could she not, with the way he's behaved? But then she speaks, and it sounds like she believes him.

Xanth finally looks back up at her and, hesitantly, he nods.]

Y...Yeah.

A-And I think... I... kn-knew a--

[His voice cracks and he swallows past the lump in his throat.]

A d...different y-y--you.

[Commentlog]

[lightyourway]

Oh.

[What can she possibly say? Namine had asserted herself before, had reappeared when she needed to. But Kairi didn't know when it was going to happen or how to trigger it or even if it was still possible. But he sounded so hurt.]

I'm sorry. I wish I could help. But, well... I don't remember and she... Isn't here.

[Commentlog]

[stillseecracks]

[Xanth laughs again - a broken, mirthless bark - and drops his head.]

It-- i-it-- don't worry. I-It's... n-not your fault.

[But gods, does it hurt. Xanth scrubs at his eyes. He can't cry, not here, not now. Not in front of Kairi, not in front of this stranger.

But he can't stop.]

[Commentlog]

[lightyourway]

Xanth, don't...

[She catches sight of him rubbing his eyes and without though, shifts closer to him. But what is she supposed to do? If she knew his other, then is this Xanth a stranger? And how did he know her name and what she looked like if it was Namine he met? So many things don't add up. But seeing him hurt and filthy and crying and looking so much like the person that she was getting to know, Kairi brushes it all aside. She throws an arm around his shoulder in an awkward sideways hug. It's an uncomfortable gesture by all accounts but there's nothing else she can think to do.]

What happened to you?

[Commentlog]

[stillseecracks]

[Kairi's touch is meant to comfort, but Xanth can feel her hesitance in the motion. The fact that she's trying at all, even though she barely knows him, is a testament to the fact that she is so close to being the Kairi Xanth knew.

And yet, in the same motion, she is so far.

Xanth's shoulders shudder under Kairi's arms as he fights a sob. Should he tell her what happened? About the battle with The End, about the Golden Shore? Would she even believe him?

He sniffles, then draws his knees up to his chest and hugs them close. His entire body aches, but the position makes him feel so much safer.]

It-- it's-- a long, l--long s-story...

[Commentlog]

[lightyourway]

Heh, well, I think we might be here a while.

[It's not funny, not really. Kairi retracts her arm by tries to catch Xanth's eye.]

But you don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. C'mon. I can show you where the infirmary is.

[Commentlog]

[stillseecracks]

[It isn't funny, but she's right. If his stay on the Elegante was anything to go by, they would be here for months.

But he just can't talk about it yet. The wound, still fresh, has been struck again and had salt rubbed into it. What he needs is time.

He sniffs again and nods, wiping his face on his rag of a sleeve.]

Th-th--thanks. I-- I-I'm-- I... I'm s-sorry...

[Commentlog]

[lightyourway]

[She climbs to her feet and turns to offer him a hand getting up.]

What for?

[Commentlog]

[stillseecracks]

[Xanth takes Kairi's hand and pulls himself up. Immediately, he takes his hand back He still can't look her in the eyes.]

F-For... fa--falling ap-part, l-like... like this...

[If only he could hold his fucking composure for once in his life, at least until he's alone.]

[Commentlog]

[lightyourway]

... It's okay.

[To tell the truth, she was more relieved that the hug now had an explanation... Sort of. It wasn't okay, really. But then he'd been pretty scared the first time they'd had a conversation like this too...

Maybe soup would make it better, or at least something to take his mind off it.

Setting the fishing pole down on the shore - she'll come back for it - Kairi started heading back toward the gate.]

So, there're some things you should know about here.

[Commentlog]

[stillseecracks]

[Xanth follows after Kairi. Now that he's not running, his limp isn't so bad, so he keeps pace.

He's heard about harsh punishments and something about tattoos, but rather than interrupt, he'll let Kairi explain.]

Y--Yeah?

[He's not sure he could talk for long without starting to cry again anyway.]

[Commentlog]

[lightyourway]

Well, if the letters from your journal start appearing on your skin, don't worry. You can just wash them off with cold water after you make an entry.

[Best to cover old bases first.]

They, heh, must really want us to write.

[Commentlog]

[stillseecracks]

I--I guess. I w-wonder wh-why.

[But Xanth makes a mental note of this. Better to prepare himself for something strange than throw a fit when it happened.]

[Commentlog]

[lightyourway]

I don't know...

[She walks on in silence, musing, but breaks it before it can stretch too long.]

So, you still remember what castles are like, right? I mean, this kind of castle.