Keep it Alive

[stiffie]

Yesterday at work all of a sudden I felt this energy rush through me that carried with it so much self love and happiness...I felt a happiness I haven't felt since my freshman year of college (which was the last year I really feel like I was my true self emotionally). All of these memories and happy moments started surging in every corner of my

Comments

[krisology]

I love your posts - you write so beautifully.

Every pound holds a bad memory and a hurtful remark, and as I lose weight, I shed the bad memories of involuntary pain and of my own sins and discover myself.

Wow, this is so true for me as well. I love this line. I mean, in real life it sucks but reading it is really neat. Do you get what I mean? Because I am weird. sorry about that.

I love you Steph. I love reading about your life because you make everything sound so ... I don't know, magical? Even the bad stuff. And I don't want to be trite and say I know what you mean, except, I do know what you mean, because I am there too.

*glomp*

Maybe I can start belly dancing with you next month?

[krisology]

waah my html broke :(

[feldtbutt]

You sound like the kind of friend who gives a lot. And those types of friends are the best kind to have because they will always be there for you.
What your friend did was wrong, and hopefully, one say she'll realize she was very foolish to say those words.
I really hate how society is so appearance-based. It doesn't matter if you're healthy and exercise regularly, all that matters is whether or not you are skinny enough (no one ever thinks they're skinny enough).
I love reading your posts. They are very much full of life.

[shake_the_stars]

I'm terribly sorry about the language here, but after dredging the deep crevices of my vocabulary, I really can't find a less crude word that gets my point across: That is a horrible, shitty thing to do to someone. I don't know your "friend", so I don't know what led her to do that, but I'm willing to bet it probably had more to do with her than with you. That doesn't make it less wrong or hurtful, though.

Also:
And I've been working so, so hard on my esteem and getting back to loving myself so I can be emotionally right and my loving, wonderful amazing self again around people
I hope you do. I know you can. I'm amazed by the person I read about right now, when you're at what you see as less than full capacity--when you're back on your feet again, there'll be no stopping you.

Two cents; chunk 'em in the gutter if you like. :)

[ultravoxx]

Wow. This was a beautiful post. 12 lbs is awesome. For real. Weight is a tricky thing for many people, myself included. I think you are beautiful. I would love to try belly dancing with you.

[violalee]

I'm trying to play catch up, and I'm failing miserably!

1) Forget that girl. She's more worthless then anyone I could possibly recount in my life. And I've known some pretty worthless people.

2) Screw what society thinks. I'm fat. I'm overweight. My husband gets on me about it. He's fat. We're all fat. America is fat. We're a fatfatfattymcfatterson-getting-fatter-every-heartattackinabag sort of society. Screw 'em all.

3) You, my friend, need to find something to 'improve' other then your weight. If you're improving your weight, DO IT FOR YOU. Never, ever, ever do it for anyone else. If you're happy being fat, THEN BE FAT. Never think that you should lose weight to get a man, or keep a friend, or fit in. That's just inane, and I know that you know better.

This sounded a little harsher then I meant it to, sorry! <3<3<3!!

[violalee]

I don't share things like this often, but I lovelovelove this poem. In fact, I love Bukowski. He's got a way to make things so perfect. Anyway, I got a lot from this, and I thought that maybe you'd like it to. (ps: If you take the last line and get a tattoo I WILL STAB YOU because that's totally my next one. I've got it all designed and everything...)

the girls were young
and worked the
streets
but often they couldn't
score, they
ended up
in my hotel
room
3 or 4 of
them
sucking at the
wine, hair in face
runs in
stockings,
cursing, telling
stories...

somehow
those were
peaceful
nights

but really
they reminded me
of long
ago
when i was a
boy
watching my grand-
mother's
canaries make
droppings
into their
seed
and into their
water

and the
canaries were
beautiful
and
chattered
but
never
sang.