First Lines

[stevenagy]

Today's goal is to write a synopsis for the book so I know where I'm headed. I'm starting off with a prologue that's a scene from later in the book. 70 Days of Sweat officially starts tomorrow. I'm getting a leg up today because of the aforementioned anniversary of my nephew's death four years ago

Comments

[battle_of_one]

I dig that idea a lot, how you're structuring it!

If I were editing that first line (sorry, ignore at will), I'd break up the sentences to give it more punch:

The last shot from Christopher LaVigne's Webley revolver was little more than an echo in the dark basement. He knew he had no more bullets left to kill all of the Un-Dead.

[stevenagy]

Thanks. I've played with this idea for the structure for a bit. And thanks as well for the editing suggestion. First drafts are such fun. :-)

[honestgamer]

I think you have a good opening. If I had picked up a book that started like that in a supermarket, you can bet I'd read AT LEAST a few more lines... and probably even pick it up if I had the money and the premise sounded need enough.

Your idea for the story's structure really sounds interesting, too. It's very ambitious, and I hope it works out well for you. I'm trying to spend more time writing my own stuff and reading what others write, so don't hesitate to let me know if you get your draft to a point where you'd like some readers.

[stevenagy]

Thanks.

[stevenagy]

And good luck with your own writing. I know you've recently gotten back into the swing. :-)