The scary stuff

[stephanieburgis]

Here's the weird truth about fulfilling my dream for the past 25 years and selling my first books - oh, and finishing the trilogy, too, and being about to see the first book come out in bookstores where I live. (97 more days till the UK pub date, according to my daily Waterstones.com update

Comments

[jessica_shea]

I think that worrying about the salability of a WIP is a total creative deathtrap. It's too much pressure. I think it's hard for us to really know, anyway, and a question better left to awesome agents for their assessments...Of course, I say this as I'm preparing to do some line notes my husband gave me on my revision, before sending it off to my agent, and then I will wait, rabidly anxious, to see if he thinks it's ready to send back out to the editors who were interested in seeing it again. And *then* I'll wait, even more rabidly anxious, for their responses. So I might not be v. qualified to advise. :) My goal for the rest of the week is really just "wait without imploding."

[stephanieburgis]

Yes! Total deathtrap. And the funny thing is, I even KNOW that I'm bad at guessing what's salable and what isn't. (As I was writing AMIM, I kept telling myself that it didn't matter that it "obviously" wasn't salable because it was only for myself, just for fun...) And yet it's so, so hard to shut that part of the brain off!

Good luck with the line notes, and with waiting without imploding! That's one of the hardest and most important skills in publishing, I think.

[shawnalenore]

Thank you so much for writing this :) I agree with the other commenters who have said it can be reassuring to know that other people go through these insecurities, too

[stephanieburgis]

...the truth is I can't imagine living any other life. Remembering that seems to be the most efficient way to ground myself.

That is a really, really good method. Thank you!

[shawnalenore]

I hope it helps :)

[deva_fagan]

I'm glad you posted this -- it can be so lonely feeling these fears and yet I think so many of us do feel them. I myself was feeling exactly this way last year, when my first book was about to come out and I felt invisible and terrified and was trying to decide what to focus on next. I was worried my first book wasn't going to do well enough to make my publisher happy and that I had to find some holy grail of a book to make them want to buy anything more from me. And yet the thing I really wanted to write was scifi-- which seemed to me to be one of the least commercial things out there. But I wrote it anyway, and I had more fun writing it than anything I've written before. And what do you know but it sold, and even sold UK rights!

Who knows what will happen when it actually comes out next year, but no matter what I am happy I wrote it, because I did love it, and it reminded me what really is important in writing.

So I hope you will find your way back to that dragon book. Because I want to read it, and I know I am not alone!

[stephanieburgis]

It's so good to hear that, Deva, especially because I love your writing and am excited about seeing those SF novels on my local Waterstones shelf!

And I especially love this line:

Who knows what will happen when it actually comes out next year, but no matter what I am happy I wrote it, because I did love it, and it reminded me what really is important in writing.

YES. That really is what matters. Thank you!!!

[ex_triciasu]

I am glad you pressed 'post'!

I LOVE the Kat books!

And I want to read the dragon books.

Fear and insecurity and worry are part of the territory. When you let yourself write out of your own joy, that's the perfect antidote to these darker matters. You know that. Don't deprive yourself of that pleasure! Get in that water and do what you were born to do!

And we need to write these kinds of posts sometimes because we can't always reassure ourselves, can we? It's not negative at all. It's human. Which is kinda all wrapped up with being a writer, too, right? Being human?

Go get 'em, Steph!

[ex_triciasu]

When I read that back it sounded bullying. I don't mean it like that. It's just that I KNOW, without being there in your brain (and you won't believe that I know, but I do, I KNOW) that the dragon book is great material and I don't want anything, small or large, to mess with you. You had a little wobble, so what? I have MASSIVE WOBBLES all the time. It's OK, it's necessary, it's part of what writing is.

A little mess and craziness (sometimes even a lot) is part of the whole shebang. That's where the juice comes from.

I'm still sounding prescriptive and know-it-all! *slaps self*

I have words to do that I'm running scared from at this very moment, btw. TAkes one to know one....Bye! *runs away* :-D

[stephanieburgis]

Hee. I love you, but you are sometimes a crazy woman, just like me. There was NOTHING bullying about your first comment! It was awesome cheerleading, just like this one.

*HUGE HUGE HUGS!*

Good luck on your words!

[stephanieburgis]

Thank you so, so much for this. *HUGS* Can I hire you to be my personal cheerleader, please? :)

[bondo_ba]

My goals this week are to defeat travel ennui and I'm in panic that I may have reached a plateau in my writing!

BTW, I think that, despite the fear, you've gone ahead and written, which is something most people never seem to get around to! And then you subbed, sold, etc. So don't worry about the panic... It's just Tuesday, the week can and will geet better!

[stephanieburgis]

Thank you!!!! I really appreciate this. Good luck defeating the travel ennui! And I know that plateau fear, but I think the fact that you're having it means it probably isn't true (because that tends only to happen to people who don't care about trying to get better)...