Who Am I This Time?

[stephanieburgis]

I moved to Europe for the first time when I was 20, as part of an Oberlin Conservatory exchange program. For 6 months, five other Oberlin students and I lived in two apartments in Vienna, studying Arnold Schönberg's music with his last assistant (half our lessons took place in the Arnold Schönberg house, and the other half at the University of

Comments

[lingtm]

I would teach him the British sayings for every day things so he can be understood by little kids. He's going to grow up with a British accent, so might as well.

Chris' dad is South African and his mom is English, so they both say things differently. But Chris grew up in the U.S. He knows all the British words because his parents use them, so I wouldn't worry about D not knowing his heritage. His parents watched BBC shows when he was a kid and he managed to soak up stuff from that as well.

So I wouldn't worry about him losing his American identity. He'll soak it up from you and also from the American TV you watch.

On a side note, I'd teach him Mama or Mom too. It's not like the British don't know what that means. Not like when you say sweater vs. jumper.

[stephanieburgis]

Ooh, that stuff about Chris's family is really good to hear. Thanks!

[lindsey_leavitt]

Very interesting.
Sounds like you're a great mama/mommy/mummy any way you say it!

[stephanieburgis]

Thanks Lindsey! I think exactly the same thing about you after reading entries about your kids. I hope I can show as much grace and style as you as he gets older!

[_stranger_here]

Classic immigrant cultural identity stuff! I imagine our great-grandparents went through a lot of this when they came to America. Pär has dealt with some similar questions, though there are a whole set of other subtleties you're contending with when the language is the same-yet-different

[stephanieburgis]

Ooh, that's really interesting to hear about the way Jeremiah switches forth (esp the "Daddy"/"Papa"). Thank you!!!

And you're so right - I bet our great-grandparents went through exactly the same stuff. It's hard because either extreme feels wrong in an equally strong but different way. I remember reading an interview years ago with a Korean woman who'd settled in Ohio w/her American husband and talked about how sad she was that, to be fair to the kid, they weren't giving him ANY Korean-style toys, she wasn't singing him ANY Korean lullabies at all, etc., etc...and that just sounds incredibly sad to me, a path I really don't want to take. But then I don't want to go the opposite extreme and make my kid stand out as weirdly un-English to his schoolmates, either...

So in other words, hearing about Jeremiah's experience is incredibly reassuring!

[sartorias]

I was thinking about these things yesterday while touring a museum of antiquities. One really can learn about one's own invisible patterns while observing someone else's.

[stephanieburgis]

Yes! And it can even feel quite shocking to realize some of the things we've been unknowingly taking for granted, without ever thinking about it...

[amygreenfield]

I hear you on all of this and send hugs on the funny feelings it can induce. We go through much the same thing even here in the US, and I know will go through even more evolutions once we move.

Right now I'm Mommy *and* Mummy, but I've gotten to the point where I'm happy with both. (It helps that lately Sweetpea has taken to calling me Mummyummyummy, as if I'm some sort of super dessert!)

[stephanieburgis]

I love the yummy yummy Mummy idea! ;) That does sound like a comforting compromise. And *hugs* - it's really good to hear from someone else who's going through the same issues!