Specimen Report Number 537/B | Neville | Rated: PG-13
Title: Specimen Report Number 537/B
Pairings: Neville and er... something...
Rating: PG-13
Words: 355
Warnings: Does this count as crack!fic? Personally I think not, but it's more funny than squicky. Promise.
Author's note: Neville Helmetfest fic! Last day as ever! lol
Thank you to lnalvgd. oncelikeshari and mickle141 for the read throughs! *hugs*
Disclaimer: I do not own any of this universe, I am merely playing in it.
Specimen Report Number 537/B
...
'Research file number five three seven slash B by Neville Longbottom, recorded using the Ministry approved Note Taker Quills.
'Specimen found in what is believed to be the deepest part of the Hogwarts lake, it will be returned tomorrow afternoon.
'Specimen didn't seem to react badly when taken out of the water, no defensive reaction or the such like and the change in water type hasn't obviously affected the structure, the behaviour or the texture of the water plant.
'As yet, the plant has no name and is unidentified.
'Test number one will hopefully determine if the plant has any defence mechanisms, although considering it didn't defend itself when I uprooted it from the bed of the lake, I'm not expecting anything too drastic. Although, famous last words and all…
'The - what look like spines - I'm guessing aren't defensive as they are, in fact, soft to touch, but maybe if I put some pressure on where they join the rather thick leaves… no, nothing. Okay, maybe if something sharper touches it… I'm using a quill to touch the plant… no, apparently that doesn't do anything either.
'Okay, I'll put more pressure on the leaves with my hands, squeezing the leaves to see if that produces a reaction… hmm, apparently not.
'So, none of the simple defence tests produce any reaction from the plant, it either doesn't feel as if it's properly under attack or it doesn't actually have any-…oh, hello, what's going on here?
'The plant's leaves have started elongating and have extended out of the water, and are reaching towards me, I'm not making any sudden movements, and I'm trying to think what has caused it to do this… I did start stroking the leaves gently as I was wondering what to do next, now-… oh…
'The - what can only be described as 'tentacles' - have wrapped around my legs and are curling around and moving slowly up…
'It's not a tight grip, but still, slightly concerning. I-… oh Merlin… The tentacles have moved under my shorts and are…um… mmm…
'They…the, er… wow that's, slightly disturbingly good… um… oh, sweet Merlin!'
Report terminated at 19.36.
Pairings: Neville and er... something...
Rating: PG-13
Words: 355
Warnings: Does this count as crack!fic? Personally I think not, but it's more funny than squicky. Promise.
Author's note: Neville Helmetfest fic! Last day as ever! lol
Thank you to lnalvgd. oncelikeshari and mickle141 for the read throughs! *hugs*
Disclaimer: I do not own any of this universe, I am merely playing in it.
Specimen Report Number 537/B
...
'Research file number five three seven slash B by Neville Longbottom, recorded using the Ministry approved Note Taker Quills.
'Specimen found in what is believed to be the deepest part of the Hogwarts lake, it will be returned tomorrow afternoon.
'Specimen didn't seem to react badly when taken out of the water, no defensive reaction or the such like and the change in water type hasn't obviously affected the structure, the behaviour or the texture of the water plant.
'As yet, the plant has no name and is unidentified.
'Test number one will hopefully determine if the plant has any defence mechanisms, although considering it didn't defend itself when I uprooted it from the bed of the lake, I'm not expecting anything too drastic. Although, famous last words and all…
'The - what look like spines - I'm guessing aren't defensive as they are, in fact, soft to touch, but maybe if I put some pressure on where they join the rather thick leaves… no, nothing. Okay, maybe if something sharper touches it… I'm using a quill to touch the plant… no, apparently that doesn't do anything either.
'Okay, I'll put more pressure on the leaves with my hands, squeezing the leaves to see if that produces a reaction… hmm, apparently not.
'So, none of the simple defence tests produce any reaction from the plant, it either doesn't feel as if it's properly under attack or it doesn't actually have any-…oh, hello, what's going on here?
'The plant's leaves have started elongating and have extended out of the water, and are reaching towards me, I'm not making any sudden movements, and I'm trying to think what has caused it to do this… I did start stroking the leaves gently as I was wondering what to do next, now-… oh…
'The - what can only be described as 'tentacles' - have wrapped around my legs and are curling around and moving slowly up…
'It's not a tight grip, but still, slightly concerning. I-… oh Merlin… The tentacles have moved under my shorts and are…um… mmm…
'They…the, er… wow that's, slightly disturbingly good… um… oh, sweet Merlin!'
Report terminated at 19.36.