fic: Wet Cardboard (1/1)
Title: Wet Cardboard
Author: stellarmeadow
Fandom: Hawaii Five-0
Paring: Steve/Danny
Rating: PG13
Summary:Danny can tell that Steve's nice little compartment boxes are in danger.
Notes: Don't know why this one gave me such fits that I was up writing until 3 am. At least it's just one chapter this time! I think... :)
Spoilers for 414 below. Also, feedback is the best birthday present you could give me this weekend! :)
Danny stood in the doorway to Grace's room, watching her sleep. She looked so young, so innocent, that he could almost forget all the terrible things she'd been through in her short life.
Almost.
He was just grateful that hearing his death over the phone hadn't been added to that list yesterday. The thought of what that might have done to her was almost enough to make him quit his job. Except that didn't guarantee he'd be around forever. At least as a cop he was keeping her safe.
With any luck she'd get to keep him for many decades to come, and never have to hear something like that. He'd seen what it had done to Steve, despite his relative maturity and his ability to compartmentalize better than Employee of the Year at The Container Store.
Then again, Steve had been drinking scotch instead of beer at the bar earlier, and he'd had quite a few. Maybe his compartments weren't working as well as they normally did.
Not that Danny could blame him--nothing dredges up one of Steve's most recent traumas from hell like a criminal saying your kid's going to hear you die over the phone. It was a little on the nose, especially after the same thing had almost happened with Catherine a few months earlier.
He's almost surprised Steve doesn't shoot the phone every time it rings at this point.
And then there was Amos Koi. Danny had seen the crime scene photos. He'd also seen the room where Steve had been held in North Korea, and had personally taken care of Steve's wounds until they'd gotten him to a doctor. Steve had to have seen the similarities--they were screaming at Danny just from a photo. But Steve hadn't said a thing.
Danny had even gone so far as to ask Chin what Steve had said about the scene, and Chin had just shrugged. "Said he'd never seen anything like it."
He supposed that was technically true--Steve hadn't seen it from that angle, at least.
Grace turned over in bed, rousing Danny out of his thoughts. He pushed off the doorjamb and went into the living room to turn out the lights and lock up. He'd just gotten all but the last light when there was a soft knock at the door.
Danny checked to see who it was, not surprised to see Steve standing there. Who else would come knocking on his door at almost one in the morning? He looked bleary eyed, probably from a combination of lack of sleep and alcohol.
After a few seconds, Danny opened the door and stepped outside, closing the door softly behind him. "Hey," Danny said softly.
Steve looked at the closed door, then at Danny. "Sorry, is your girlfriend inside? I can leave."
The words managed to sound jealous and yet truly pitiful all at once. "No, dumbass, my daughter is inside asleep, and I don't want to wake her." Danny folded his arms over his chest. "Also, I don't have a girlfriend, but even if I did have someone in my bed, what difference would it make?"
Steve's shoulders slumped, and Danny knew the contrite look on his face was genuine. "I'm sorry," Steve said, before he turned around and sat down on the top step in front of the door. He rested his elbows heavily on his knees before dropping his head into his hands.
Danny closed his eyes and pressed on his temple for a moment, willing the McGarrett headache that was starting there to go away. But he supposed it wouldn't while the man himself was sitting on Danny's doorstep.
He opened his eyes again and sat down next to Steve. "What's wrong?"
It's a good thing he didn't expect a direct answer, because of course he didn't get it. "What'd you tell Grace about the phone call from Parrish?"
"I told her a guy at the station was playing a prank. But that while we were talking about it, if anyone ever called her from my number again and she doesn't know who it is, she should hang up and check in with you or Chin or Kono. Make sure everything's okay. Just to be safe."
Steve nods into his hands, but Danny's not really sure if he's agreeing or just acknowledging the answer. They sit in silence for a moment before Steve says, "I'd have stopped him."
"We did stop him."
"No, at the checkpoint. If we'd been made, I'd have made sure he didn't shoot you."
"And you'd have done that how, exactly?"
Steve just shrugs, and it takes Danny a second to connect the dots. "Fucking--you'd have literally dove on his gun, wouldn't you?"
"I counted how long it took him to mute and unmute the phone. I'd have had plenty of time to jump him before he could unmute it again."
"Yeah, but he'd have shot you." Steve wouldn't look at him, and Danny realized the rest of it with dawning horror. "But then you knew that," Danny said slowly. "Seriously, what the hell? There were other options."
"Not if the cops had seen him."
"Even if the cops had seen him, Steven."
"No. And I wouldn't let--" Steve broke off, his hand open in midair. He slowly clenched it into a fist before dropping it down to his lap. "No kid should have to hear their father die like that, Danny. Trust me--I should know."
The words were calm and almost emotionless, but the way Steve's right fist was putting a permanent set of wrinkles in his shorts because it had them in such a tight grip, aid otherwise. The shorts were nothing more than a stand in for his feelings. It was getting harder and harder not to worry about what was going to happen when Steve lost his grip altogether.
Danny pried Steve's hand open and laced his fingers through Steve's, because whatever tug of war they were having on the other part of their relationship, this was never in question. Will never be in question. They have each others' backs. Steve's compartments were having trouble. He needed Danny to shore them up.
Steve tucked his head into Danny's shoulder, forehead resting on Danny's neck. Danny let his arm slip around Steve's back and held him together as best he could.
---
END
Author: stellarmeadow
Fandom: Hawaii Five-0
Paring: Steve/Danny
Rating: PG13
Summary:Danny can tell that Steve's nice little compartment boxes are in danger.
Notes: Don't know why this one gave me such fits that I was up writing until 3 am. At least it's just one chapter this time! I think... :)
Spoilers for 414 below. Also, feedback is the best birthday present you could give me this weekend! :)
Danny stood in the doorway to Grace's room, watching her sleep. She looked so young, so innocent, that he could almost forget all the terrible things she'd been through in her short life.
Almost.
He was just grateful that hearing his death over the phone hadn't been added to that list yesterday. The thought of what that might have done to her was almost enough to make him quit his job. Except that didn't guarantee he'd be around forever. At least as a cop he was keeping her safe.
With any luck she'd get to keep him for many decades to come, and never have to hear something like that. He'd seen what it had done to Steve, despite his relative maturity and his ability to compartmentalize better than Employee of the Year at The Container Store.
Then again, Steve had been drinking scotch instead of beer at the bar earlier, and he'd had quite a few. Maybe his compartments weren't working as well as they normally did.
Not that Danny could blame him--nothing dredges up one of Steve's most recent traumas from hell like a criminal saying your kid's going to hear you die over the phone. It was a little on the nose, especially after the same thing had almost happened with Catherine a few months earlier.
He's almost surprised Steve doesn't shoot the phone every time it rings at this point.
And then there was Amos Koi. Danny had seen the crime scene photos. He'd also seen the room where Steve had been held in North Korea, and had personally taken care of Steve's wounds until they'd gotten him to a doctor. Steve had to have seen the similarities--they were screaming at Danny just from a photo. But Steve hadn't said a thing.
Danny had even gone so far as to ask Chin what Steve had said about the scene, and Chin had just shrugged. "Said he'd never seen anything like it."
He supposed that was technically true--Steve hadn't seen it from that angle, at least.
Grace turned over in bed, rousing Danny out of his thoughts. He pushed off the doorjamb and went into the living room to turn out the lights and lock up. He'd just gotten all but the last light when there was a soft knock at the door.
Danny checked to see who it was, not surprised to see Steve standing there. Who else would come knocking on his door at almost one in the morning? He looked bleary eyed, probably from a combination of lack of sleep and alcohol.
After a few seconds, Danny opened the door and stepped outside, closing the door softly behind him. "Hey," Danny said softly.
Steve looked at the closed door, then at Danny. "Sorry, is your girlfriend inside? I can leave."
The words managed to sound jealous and yet truly pitiful all at once. "No, dumbass, my daughter is inside asleep, and I don't want to wake her." Danny folded his arms over his chest. "Also, I don't have a girlfriend, but even if I did have someone in my bed, what difference would it make?"
Steve's shoulders slumped, and Danny knew the contrite look on his face was genuine. "I'm sorry," Steve said, before he turned around and sat down on the top step in front of the door. He rested his elbows heavily on his knees before dropping his head into his hands.
Danny closed his eyes and pressed on his temple for a moment, willing the McGarrett headache that was starting there to go away. But he supposed it wouldn't while the man himself was sitting on Danny's doorstep.
He opened his eyes again and sat down next to Steve. "What's wrong?"
It's a good thing he didn't expect a direct answer, because of course he didn't get it. "What'd you tell Grace about the phone call from Parrish?"
"I told her a guy at the station was playing a prank. But that while we were talking about it, if anyone ever called her from my number again and she doesn't know who it is, she should hang up and check in with you or Chin or Kono. Make sure everything's okay. Just to be safe."
Steve nods into his hands, but Danny's not really sure if he's agreeing or just acknowledging the answer. They sit in silence for a moment before Steve says, "I'd have stopped him."
"We did stop him."
"No, at the checkpoint. If we'd been made, I'd have made sure he didn't shoot you."
"And you'd have done that how, exactly?"
Steve just shrugs, and it takes Danny a second to connect the dots. "Fucking--you'd have literally dove on his gun, wouldn't you?"
"I counted how long it took him to mute and unmute the phone. I'd have had plenty of time to jump him before he could unmute it again."
"Yeah, but he'd have shot you." Steve wouldn't look at him, and Danny realized the rest of it with dawning horror. "But then you knew that," Danny said slowly. "Seriously, what the hell? There were other options."
"Not if the cops had seen him."
"Even if the cops had seen him, Steven."
"No. And I wouldn't let--" Steve broke off, his hand open in midair. He slowly clenched it into a fist before dropping it down to his lap. "No kid should have to hear their father die like that, Danny. Trust me--I should know."
The words were calm and almost emotionless, but the way Steve's right fist was putting a permanent set of wrinkles in his shorts because it had them in such a tight grip, aid otherwise. The shorts were nothing more than a stand in for his feelings. It was getting harder and harder not to worry about what was going to happen when Steve lost his grip altogether.
Danny pried Steve's hand open and laced his fingers through Steve's, because whatever tug of war they were having on the other part of their relationship, this was never in question. Will never be in question. They have each others' backs. Steve's compartments were having trouble. He needed Danny to shore them up.
Steve tucked his head into Danny's shoulder, forehead resting on Danny's neck. Danny let his arm slip around Steve's back and held him together as best he could.
---
END