Fic: Dreams Like Coins into the Water [CSI:NY, Danny/Mac]

[stellaluna_]

Title: Dreams Like Coins into the Water
Author: stellaluna_
Fandom: CSI:NY
Rating: NC-17 for explicit sex
Summary: After it's all over, Danny has some questions. Post-ep for "The Thing About Heroes." Danny/Mac
Disclaimer: None of these are mine. Characters are the property of Anthony Zuiker, Jerry Bruckheimer Television, CBS, and Alliance Atlantis.
Notes:

Comments

[sunhawk]

Oooooo! Delicious! *eg*
I really like the recurring handprints, their ghostly fade, the idea of body heat but also something else... plus I love a little bit of Mac begging *chuckle*
Another great introspective piece :)

[stellaluna_]

Thank you!

The image of the handprints was what *finally* let me figure out where this fic was going, and I agree: Mac begging is always a very good thing indeed.

[fruitbat00]

OMG I think you just broke me. I loved the conversation with Mac and Danny over the incident when he was 14 and Danny's comparisons to his own childhood and choices. All the what ifs they are both contemplating. Lovely. For the sex scene *wibble* it just perfect.

[stellaluna_]

Thank you! I always enjoy writing these kind of conversations between the two of them, and I'm interested in exploring the ever-increasing parallels between them and their pasts, and how both of them relate to the experiences that have shaped them.

[scarletts_awry]

(Yay!!! I'm so glad you posted!)

This has a weight to it. It's tired and quiet. It's intimate, but not exactly the way intimacy is usually thought of. There's something... desolate underneath. It's all about ghosts (again), and the image of the handprints on the glass goes beautifully with that. I love this kind of ghost story. Mac and Danny's interaction... I'm just intrigued by it because I've never seen them quite like this, but it's *real*.

<3

[shotboxer]

Well, I was flailing around with glee and trying to articulate why this was so great and so bittersweet (with emphasis on the bitter) at the same time, but you've just nailed it on the head, so . . . Ditto, ditto, ditto. What she said. Wonderful coda to a wrenching ep and a excellent fic on its own too.

[stellaluna_]

Thank you! The emphasis really is on the bitter here, and I think that's a large part of where this story originally came from, trying to find the kind of difficulty and uncertain balance that might exist between Danny and Mac under these circumstances. They're both still haunted, even when they're getting along, and even when their anger and sorrow isn't being directly caused by the other person.

[stellaluna_]

Thank you! (I'm so glad I posted, too!)

Yeah, it's a difficult kind of intimacy here. I think it's a kind of intimacy that doesn't really solve anything, or even heal things between the two of them, however far they may have come. It really is all about ghosts, and I think that's where a great deal of the sense of desolation comes in: they're always haunted. And because of that, they're never alone, not really. It's never quiet.

[laminy]

I really just immensely enjoyed this story; it's so good. Everything about it is kind of perfect. The dialogue, their characterizations; and something that I honestly did not expect, Danny on top. Which I definitly liked for this story. This is a really good story.

[stellaluna_]

Thank you! I really do love exploring the relationship between the two of them, and just having them talk to each other and seeing what develops. I also have a fondness for writing Danny on top -- and for seeing how the balance of power and dominance can shift between them, depending on what else is going on.

[bilyana]

This is just great the way you capture the (temporary) unsteadiness and vulnerability that come with intimate revelations and how they try to find a new balance with each other here. Wonderful piece.

[stellaluna_]

Thank you! That process of finding a new balance with each other is something that really interests me about Mac and Danny's current relationship, as I think that with everything that has happened, the source of tension has shifted from primarily internal to primarily external. I'm also really interested in seeing how they let each other see their vulnerability, and how they both react to that. It's such a tenuous thing between them.