Fic: The Fifth Time (Leverage/Supernatural/Angel AU, PG-13)
Title: The Fifth Time
Fandom: Leverage/Supernatural/Angel
Pairings: Hardison/Parker, Dean/Eliot, Lindsey/Cordelia, Angel/Darla/Spike/Drusilla permutations mentioned. Lindsey/Teachers alluded to.
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Mentions of drug use, allusions to underage sex. Crack.
Word Count: 2290
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these series'. I'm just playing around with them.
Notes: This was written for the au_bingo prompt 'Other: High School'. Everyone and their dog has done a high school AU at some point, so I spiced it up by doing a three-way crossover as well. Because I can.
Summary: High School AU. Hardison is in love with Parker. Sam Winchester attempts to help his friend out.
It all begins with the computer lab.
Or, rather, that’s where they are when it begins.
If you wanted to get very technical, it actually all begins with the words: “I think I’m in love with Parker.” The result of which is Sam Winchester, fifteen years old and already taller than most of the population of Westfield High School, giving Alec Hardison a very skeptical look.
“Parker?” He asks, spinning his chair around to face his very confused, very misguided friend. “How? Why? How?”
Alec Hardison, also fifteen, sadly regards the computer screen in front of him. “I think World of Warcraft broke my brain. I never used to be attracted to the crazy chicks that could kill me.”
“Yeah, but it’s Parker.” Sam is a little stuck on this point, and shrugs apologetically when Hardison gives him a withering look. “Sorry, man. It’s just...Parker? Are you sure you’re not mistaken? You haven’t been at this school long; maybe you haven’t gotten to know her properly.”
It’s a little bit distressing to Hardison how hopeful Sam sounds about that. “No, I’m pretty sure.”
“Wow. Parker.” Sam shakes his head. “That’s going to make it a little harder.”
“Make what a little harder?”
Sam spins his chair around again, logs off the computer and grins at Hardison as he stands to leave. “To help you win her over, of course.”
Sam Winchester can be moody, annoyingly attractive to the opposite sex, and occasionally a bit of a brat, but he’s also a very good friend to have. Hardison figures it evens out.
***
Alec Hardison meets Sam Winchester two hours into his first day. This is very fortunate, as they share many interests and four classes. Two hours after meeting, they are as thick as thieves.
Falling in love with Parker takes a little longer. She first comes to Hardison’s attention in Art History, as she offhandedly sprouts off a long list of facts that make his geek heart flutter. It’s only later that he finds out her reputation as both insane and a stoner. Nobody is quite sure whether one has had an effect on the other. If anyone were to ask Parker herself, they would discover that she only takes drugs to watch the pretty colors. What this says about her mental health is up for debate.
After that first fateful encounter, Hardison keeps his eyes out for her at lunch, but can’t spot her amongst the crowds. His solution is to turn to Sam, and ask him. Since arriving at his new school, Hardison has found Sam to be a very reliable source of information, as he seems to know everyone despite only being a freshman. In reality, most of Sam’s information is heavily filtered from what he’s learnt from his older brother, Dean, who is both a senior and quite popular, despite his wish to be a loner and rebel.
This is what Dean has to say about Parker: “She’s the crazy chick that hangs out with Cas a lot. They get high behind the gymnasium at lunch time. She likes to stab people with forks if they get too close.”
This is what Hardison hears from Sam: “She’s the weird chick who hangs out behind the gymnasium at lunch. She’s a bit aggressive.”
Maybe if Sam hadn’t edited his brother’s words, Hardison would have had more caution about laying his affections at Parker’s feet.
But probably not.
***
The first time Hardison actually talks to Parker goes like this:
“Hi, Parker.”
Parker squints at him. “I don’t know who you are.”
She walks off before Hardison can say anything else.
***
Sam Winchester finds being the younger brother of Dean Winchester occasionally vexing but mostly useful. They get along, which is generally a shock for most everyone because of their vastly different personalities. Dean doesn’t seem to mind his little brother hanging around him at school.
Of course, Dean Winchester has far odder folk keeping him company.
Exhibit A: Castiel. Son of devoutly religious parents, with more siblings than he can remember most days. Cas is a very mellow individual (likely drug-induced) and popular culture references tend to go right over his head (likely parent-induced).
For reasons unbeknown to the world at large, Cas and Dean are best friends.
Usually, Sam finds Cas to be an incredibly off-putting individual. Today he is useful.
Dean and Cas are talking next to Dean’s beloved Impala after school when Sam approaches. They are discussing Principal Michaels, a popular conversation topic for them, and are once again debating whether or not the man is trying to get in Dean’s pants.
“I’m telling you, man,” Dean says, “the guy wants my body.”
Cas nods. “He is a very suspicious individual with unquantifiable intentions.”
“Huh?” Dean pokes Cas on the forehead. “Stop with the robot talk.”
Cas thinks very carefully for a few moments. “I agree.”
Dean turns to Sam and grins. “See?”
Sam remains unimpressed and raises a pointed eyebrow at Cas. “Isn’t Principal Michaels your brother?”
“Is he?” Cas is unsurprised by this revelation. “I find it hard keeping track of them all.”
Sam stares at him a moment. “Right. Listen, Cas - I need a favor. Can you tell me about Parker? Her likes, dislikes, stuff like that?”
Cas blinks vacantly and cocks his head to the side like a curious bird. “Who?”
Dean snorts and muffles a laugh. Dean, whatever his faults, is a loyal friend and doesn’t like to make too much fun of Cas, however much it sometimes appears he was raised by wolves. “You really need to lay off the weed, dude.”
“No, I don’t think I will,” Cas replies, and wanders off without another word. A few feet away Parker catches up and loops her arm around one of his and they walk off together, chatting amicably.
Dean watches them go fondly. “That dude is never boring.”
“You need better friends.” Sam sighs, and pats his brother on the arm. “And Principal Michaels does not want in your pants, dude. You are not that hot.”
***
The second time Hardison talks to Parker, she doesn’t answer him at all.
The third time, she almost stabs him with a pencil. He’s the only one who believes it’s an accident, even though it was. Parker hates being snuck up on, and Hardison has a tendency to be very quiet when he approaches her.
The fourth time, her older brother notices. Eliot is the scariest person that has possibly ever existed, and other than the persistent rumors that he and Dean are sleeping together and plan to elope after graduation, it is generally understood amongst the students that no one is to do or say anything against him, for the continued comfort and safety of them all. When Hardison sees Eliot coming towards him, he gets nothing more than a squeaked, “Hi,” out before turning tail and retreating.
Somewhere between the third and fourth time, Hardison realizes that he’s in love with her.
Before he can even contemplate the idea of a fifth time, Lindsey and Cordelia show up.
***
Everybody likes Lindsey. They might be slightly off-put at first by his resemblance to his brother Eliot, but they are quickly won over by his charm and the fact that he manages to blatantly run gambling rings without any of the faculty ever shutting them down.
The entire student body is convinced that Lindsey is the good twin.
They’re wrong.
Everybody also likes Cordelia. She endeared herself to them by correctly predicting the winner of every single football game since she began at Westfield, and then by winning every single one of Lindsey’s gambling pools.
There was a very brief period in their sophomore year where Lindsey and Cordelia were feuding. Nobody talks about that time anymore, and not even Sam has managed to weasel the information out of his brother.
After two weeks of being enemies, Lindsey and Cordelia realized that together they made a formidable team, and while Eliot’s prediction of the world ending has largely been ignored, it is entirely possible that one day in the near future they will rule the world with both an Iron Fist and Style.
While it seems at first that none of this information has anything whatsoever to do with Hardison and his complicated love for Parker, it does mean that when Lindsey and Cordelia calmly sit down across from Hardison and Sam at lunch one day, the terror they feel is somewhat justified.
“So, I hear you like my sister,” Lindsey says.
“Um,” Hardison replies.
Sam licks his lips nervously and shoves his tray away. “Well, I’m done.” He stands, hauling Hardison to his feet after him. “You too, Alec? Great! See you around, Cordelia, Lindsey. Dean’s still pissed at you, by the way.”
They flee. This is the only smart thing to do when faced with the combined forces of Lindsey and Cordelia.
They’re the ones responsible for the continued rumors of Dean and Eliot’s illicit affair, and neither Dean nor Eliot have been able to do anything about it.
***
The next day, Lindsey shows up again.
“I thought coming alone might be prudent,” he explains with a smile. “You both seem to find Cordelia very intimidating.”
His eyes are very wide, innocent, and blue. But it is his smile, crooked and sharp, that convinces them not to disagree.
“Is he bothering you?”
There is one person who has not fallen for Lindsey’s many charms. His name is Liam, although he’s known mostly as Angel, and he’s standing behind Sam and Hardison, glaring at Lindsey. The only reason he and Lindsey have never fought is that Eliot’s probable response to someone picking on his brother would be to cut them up into pieces and set them on fire.
Lindsey rolls his eyes. “Shouldn’t you be with your girlfriend?”
Angel opens his mouth, but is interrupted by Cordelia’s timely arrival.
“Angel! I was just speaking to Darla, she’s looking for you.” Cordelia smiles when Angel narrows his eyes at her suspiciously, the smile widening into a grin when he huffs and walks off. She sits down and exchanges a smirking look with Lindsey. “Poor boy is sadly whipped.”
“And so very, very gay,” Lindsey adds. They laugh, blatantly ignoring the two terrified freshmen sitting across from them.
“What makes you think that?” Sam finally ventures.
Lindsey cocks his head and gives Sam an unimpressed look. “I thought you were the smart brother? He calls himself Angel, for one thing.”
“And he’s apparently too busy having subtextually-packed exchanges with Spike to notice that his girlfriend is getting it on with Drusilla.” Cordelia is also the school’s gossip-font, and has an unnerving habit of always being right about all that too.
Sam Winchester, for one, learns this lesson one morning by walking into Dean’s bedroom and finding Eliot there.
“Now, my personal feelings about your attempts to court my sister aside, we need to talk.” Lindsey is very good at putting his personal feelings aside. Both the twins are, although Eliot is slightly more self-aware of the possible repercussions of doing so. “Cordelia says that eventually you will manage to win my sister over, God knows how, and we need to discuss the most opportune time for you to do so.”
Lindsey is disappointed when all they do is stare blankly at him. He’s heard good things about their intelligence. He gives Cordelia an assessing look. “You’re sure about this, right?”
“Personal feelings, Lindsey,” Cordelia reminds him. “This is the first time they’ve encountered you in all your teacher-blackmailing glory.”
There was a rumor a while back that Lindsey had blackmail material on every single faculty member. Most people dismissed it out of hand, but like every other rumor that originated from Cordelia, it is not an exaggeration. Lindsey has never bothered to specify any method he might do this by, although if asked he would say that if you were going to bother sleeping with a teacher, you might as well film the entire thing so you never have to do another paper again.
Lindsey leans closer, lowering his voice. “Look, Cordelia says that you’ll win her over by late November, but I have better odds for early January, so do you think you might be able to delay your plans a little so I can maximize profits? I’ll cut you in, of course - and overlook the fact you’ll be dating my sister.”
People have many responses when they’re finally hit in the face with Lindsey’s true nature.
Hardison’s response of: “Wait...she’s going to say yes?” is not one of them.
Usually, they’re more along the lines of Sam’s: “Doesn’t your lack of moral substance concern you?”
To which Lindsey generally replies with: “No, not really.”
Any further discussion is halted by Eliot’s appearance. “Lindsey, stop scaring the freshmen. They’re not your toys.”
Rolling his eyes, Lindsey stands to leave, but pauses and leans close one more time. “Early January - think about it.”
Sam and Hardison watch, dumbfounded, as Lindsey wraps an arm around Cordelia’s waist and they follow after Eliot.
Eventually, Sam sums up the entire encounter thus: “And to think one day they might be your in-laws.”
***
The fifth time Hardison talks to Parker, it’s late November and she approaches him.
“I like you,” She says. “Eliot says that the proper thing to do in this situation is to let you know and warn you that if you break my heart, he’ll break your face.” She pauses a moment, thinking it over. “And the rest of you as well.”
Stunned, Hardison can only nod and splutter, “O-okay.”
Parker beams. “Great! You can pick me up at eight.”
Then she walks off before he can say anything.
Fandom: Leverage/Supernatural/Angel
Pairings: Hardison/Parker, Dean/Eliot, Lindsey/Cordelia, Angel/Darla/Spike/Drusilla permutations mentioned. Lindsey/Teachers alluded to.
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Mentions of drug use, allusions to underage sex. Crack.
Word Count: 2290
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these series'. I'm just playing around with them.
Notes: This was written for the au_bingo prompt 'Other: High School'. Everyone and their dog has done a high school AU at some point, so I spiced it up by doing a three-way crossover as well. Because I can.
Summary: High School AU. Hardison is in love with Parker. Sam Winchester attempts to help his friend out.
It all begins with the computer lab.
Or, rather, that’s where they are when it begins.
If you wanted to get very technical, it actually all begins with the words: “I think I’m in love with Parker.” The result of which is Sam Winchester, fifteen years old and already taller than most of the population of Westfield High School, giving Alec Hardison a very skeptical look.
“Parker?” He asks, spinning his chair around to face his very confused, very misguided friend. “How? Why? How?”
Alec Hardison, also fifteen, sadly regards the computer screen in front of him. “I think World of Warcraft broke my brain. I never used to be attracted to the crazy chicks that could kill me.”
“Yeah, but it’s Parker.” Sam is a little stuck on this point, and shrugs apologetically when Hardison gives him a withering look. “Sorry, man. It’s just...Parker? Are you sure you’re not mistaken? You haven’t been at this school long; maybe you haven’t gotten to know her properly.”
It’s a little bit distressing to Hardison how hopeful Sam sounds about that. “No, I’m pretty sure.”
“Wow. Parker.” Sam shakes his head. “That’s going to make it a little harder.”
“Make what a little harder?”
Sam spins his chair around again, logs off the computer and grins at Hardison as he stands to leave. “To help you win her over, of course.”
Sam Winchester can be moody, annoyingly attractive to the opposite sex, and occasionally a bit of a brat, but he’s also a very good friend to have. Hardison figures it evens out.
***
Alec Hardison meets Sam Winchester two hours into his first day. This is very fortunate, as they share many interests and four classes. Two hours after meeting, they are as thick as thieves.
Falling in love with Parker takes a little longer. She first comes to Hardison’s attention in Art History, as she offhandedly sprouts off a long list of facts that make his geek heart flutter. It’s only later that he finds out her reputation as both insane and a stoner. Nobody is quite sure whether one has had an effect on the other. If anyone were to ask Parker herself, they would discover that she only takes drugs to watch the pretty colors. What this says about her mental health is up for debate.
After that first fateful encounter, Hardison keeps his eyes out for her at lunch, but can’t spot her amongst the crowds. His solution is to turn to Sam, and ask him. Since arriving at his new school, Hardison has found Sam to be a very reliable source of information, as he seems to know everyone despite only being a freshman. In reality, most of Sam’s information is heavily filtered from what he’s learnt from his older brother, Dean, who is both a senior and quite popular, despite his wish to be a loner and rebel.
This is what Dean has to say about Parker: “She’s the crazy chick that hangs out with Cas a lot. They get high behind the gymnasium at lunch time. She likes to stab people with forks if they get too close.”
This is what Hardison hears from Sam: “She’s the weird chick who hangs out behind the gymnasium at lunch. She’s a bit aggressive.”
Maybe if Sam hadn’t edited his brother’s words, Hardison would have had more caution about laying his affections at Parker’s feet.
But probably not.
***
The first time Hardison actually talks to Parker goes like this:
“Hi, Parker.”
Parker squints at him. “I don’t know who you are.”
She walks off before Hardison can say anything else.
***
Sam Winchester finds being the younger brother of Dean Winchester occasionally vexing but mostly useful. They get along, which is generally a shock for most everyone because of their vastly different personalities. Dean doesn’t seem to mind his little brother hanging around him at school.
Of course, Dean Winchester has far odder folk keeping him company.
Exhibit A: Castiel. Son of devoutly religious parents, with more siblings than he can remember most days. Cas is a very mellow individual (likely drug-induced) and popular culture references tend to go right over his head (likely parent-induced).
For reasons unbeknown to the world at large, Cas and Dean are best friends.
Usually, Sam finds Cas to be an incredibly off-putting individual. Today he is useful.
Dean and Cas are talking next to Dean’s beloved Impala after school when Sam approaches. They are discussing Principal Michaels, a popular conversation topic for them, and are once again debating whether or not the man is trying to get in Dean’s pants.
“I’m telling you, man,” Dean says, “the guy wants my body.”
Cas nods. “He is a very suspicious individual with unquantifiable intentions.”
“Huh?” Dean pokes Cas on the forehead. “Stop with the robot talk.”
Cas thinks very carefully for a few moments. “I agree.”
Dean turns to Sam and grins. “See?”
Sam remains unimpressed and raises a pointed eyebrow at Cas. “Isn’t Principal Michaels your brother?”
“Is he?” Cas is unsurprised by this revelation. “I find it hard keeping track of them all.”
Sam stares at him a moment. “Right. Listen, Cas - I need a favor. Can you tell me about Parker? Her likes, dislikes, stuff like that?”
Cas blinks vacantly and cocks his head to the side like a curious bird. “Who?”
Dean snorts and muffles a laugh. Dean, whatever his faults, is a loyal friend and doesn’t like to make too much fun of Cas, however much it sometimes appears he was raised by wolves. “You really need to lay off the weed, dude.”
“No, I don’t think I will,” Cas replies, and wanders off without another word. A few feet away Parker catches up and loops her arm around one of his and they walk off together, chatting amicably.
Dean watches them go fondly. “That dude is never boring.”
“You need better friends.” Sam sighs, and pats his brother on the arm. “And Principal Michaels does not want in your pants, dude. You are not that hot.”
***
The second time Hardison talks to Parker, she doesn’t answer him at all.
The third time, she almost stabs him with a pencil. He’s the only one who believes it’s an accident, even though it was. Parker hates being snuck up on, and Hardison has a tendency to be very quiet when he approaches her.
The fourth time, her older brother notices. Eliot is the scariest person that has possibly ever existed, and other than the persistent rumors that he and Dean are sleeping together and plan to elope after graduation, it is generally understood amongst the students that no one is to do or say anything against him, for the continued comfort and safety of them all. When Hardison sees Eliot coming towards him, he gets nothing more than a squeaked, “Hi,” out before turning tail and retreating.
Somewhere between the third and fourth time, Hardison realizes that he’s in love with her.
Before he can even contemplate the idea of a fifth time, Lindsey and Cordelia show up.
***
Everybody likes Lindsey. They might be slightly off-put at first by his resemblance to his brother Eliot, but they are quickly won over by his charm and the fact that he manages to blatantly run gambling rings without any of the faculty ever shutting them down.
The entire student body is convinced that Lindsey is the good twin.
They’re wrong.
Everybody also likes Cordelia. She endeared herself to them by correctly predicting the winner of every single football game since she began at Westfield, and then by winning every single one of Lindsey’s gambling pools.
There was a very brief period in their sophomore year where Lindsey and Cordelia were feuding. Nobody talks about that time anymore, and not even Sam has managed to weasel the information out of his brother.
After two weeks of being enemies, Lindsey and Cordelia realized that together they made a formidable team, and while Eliot’s prediction of the world ending has largely been ignored, it is entirely possible that one day in the near future they will rule the world with both an Iron Fist and Style.
While it seems at first that none of this information has anything whatsoever to do with Hardison and his complicated love for Parker, it does mean that when Lindsey and Cordelia calmly sit down across from Hardison and Sam at lunch one day, the terror they feel is somewhat justified.
“So, I hear you like my sister,” Lindsey says.
“Um,” Hardison replies.
Sam licks his lips nervously and shoves his tray away. “Well, I’m done.” He stands, hauling Hardison to his feet after him. “You too, Alec? Great! See you around, Cordelia, Lindsey. Dean’s still pissed at you, by the way.”
They flee. This is the only smart thing to do when faced with the combined forces of Lindsey and Cordelia.
They’re the ones responsible for the continued rumors of Dean and Eliot’s illicit affair, and neither Dean nor Eliot have been able to do anything about it.
***
The next day, Lindsey shows up again.
“I thought coming alone might be prudent,” he explains with a smile. “You both seem to find Cordelia very intimidating.”
His eyes are very wide, innocent, and blue. But it is his smile, crooked and sharp, that convinces them not to disagree.
“Is he bothering you?”
There is one person who has not fallen for Lindsey’s many charms. His name is Liam, although he’s known mostly as Angel, and he’s standing behind Sam and Hardison, glaring at Lindsey. The only reason he and Lindsey have never fought is that Eliot’s probable response to someone picking on his brother would be to cut them up into pieces and set them on fire.
Lindsey rolls his eyes. “Shouldn’t you be with your girlfriend?”
Angel opens his mouth, but is interrupted by Cordelia’s timely arrival.
“Angel! I was just speaking to Darla, she’s looking for you.” Cordelia smiles when Angel narrows his eyes at her suspiciously, the smile widening into a grin when he huffs and walks off. She sits down and exchanges a smirking look with Lindsey. “Poor boy is sadly whipped.”
“And so very, very gay,” Lindsey adds. They laugh, blatantly ignoring the two terrified freshmen sitting across from them.
“What makes you think that?” Sam finally ventures.
Lindsey cocks his head and gives Sam an unimpressed look. “I thought you were the smart brother? He calls himself Angel, for one thing.”
“And he’s apparently too busy having subtextually-packed exchanges with Spike to notice that his girlfriend is getting it on with Drusilla.” Cordelia is also the school’s gossip-font, and has an unnerving habit of always being right about all that too.
Sam Winchester, for one, learns this lesson one morning by walking into Dean’s bedroom and finding Eliot there.
“Now, my personal feelings about your attempts to court my sister aside, we need to talk.” Lindsey is very good at putting his personal feelings aside. Both the twins are, although Eliot is slightly more self-aware of the possible repercussions of doing so. “Cordelia says that eventually you will manage to win my sister over, God knows how, and we need to discuss the most opportune time for you to do so.”
Lindsey is disappointed when all they do is stare blankly at him. He’s heard good things about their intelligence. He gives Cordelia an assessing look. “You’re sure about this, right?”
“Personal feelings, Lindsey,” Cordelia reminds him. “This is the first time they’ve encountered you in all your teacher-blackmailing glory.”
There was a rumor a while back that Lindsey had blackmail material on every single faculty member. Most people dismissed it out of hand, but like every other rumor that originated from Cordelia, it is not an exaggeration. Lindsey has never bothered to specify any method he might do this by, although if asked he would say that if you were going to bother sleeping with a teacher, you might as well film the entire thing so you never have to do another paper again.
Lindsey leans closer, lowering his voice. “Look, Cordelia says that you’ll win her over by late November, but I have better odds for early January, so do you think you might be able to delay your plans a little so I can maximize profits? I’ll cut you in, of course - and overlook the fact you’ll be dating my sister.”
People have many responses when they’re finally hit in the face with Lindsey’s true nature.
Hardison’s response of: “Wait...she’s going to say yes?” is not one of them.
Usually, they’re more along the lines of Sam’s: “Doesn’t your lack of moral substance concern you?”
To which Lindsey generally replies with: “No, not really.”
Any further discussion is halted by Eliot’s appearance. “Lindsey, stop scaring the freshmen. They’re not your toys.”
Rolling his eyes, Lindsey stands to leave, but pauses and leans close one more time. “Early January - think about it.”
Sam and Hardison watch, dumbfounded, as Lindsey wraps an arm around Cordelia’s waist and they follow after Eliot.
Eventually, Sam sums up the entire encounter thus: “And to think one day they might be your in-laws.”
***
The fifth time Hardison talks to Parker, it’s late November and she approaches him.
“I like you,” She says. “Eliot says that the proper thing to do in this situation is to let you know and warn you that if you break my heart, he’ll break your face.” She pauses a moment, thinking it over. “And the rest of you as well.”
Stunned, Hardison can only nod and splutter, “O-okay.”
Parker beams. “Great! You can pick me up at eight.”
Then she walks off before he can say anything.