Fic: Behind the Scenes (Supernatural AU, Gen, PG-13)
Title: Behind the Scenes
Fandom: Supernatural
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1001
Disclaimer: I do not own, I'm just having fun.
Notes: Written for the au_bingo prompt, 'Other:Actors'.
Summary: On the set of Paradise on Earth, Murphy's Law reigned supreme.
Everyone knew the set of Paradise on Earth was cursed. How could it not be?
Things had started off promisingly enough. They had the budget of a potential blockbuster action movie. They had a script by an award winning writer. They’d managed to cast the most popular action film lead star in Dean Winchester, and they’d gotten twice blessed to have cast his brother Sam in the other lead role. Sam Winchester was known for choosing more artsy films, with good scripts that end up critically acclaimed. The fact that Paradise on Earth had both Winchester brother’s was a huge marketing bonus.
That was where the problems began. Dean and Sam Winchester couldn’t stand each other.
They had made that very clear by refusing to speak to each other when the camera wasn’t rolling. This hadn’t seemed like a huge problem to begin with, because it was what happened on screen that really mattered, right? But trying to work out the best interactions between the characters was a lot more difficult when the actors portraying them insisted on silence, and instead communicated anything vital and necessary through their PA’s.
And the disasters just kept on coming. They were ruining his plan of how this film should be made.
“I’m really sorry, Michael.” His lead actress’s voice sounded genuine enough, he supposed. “But they didn’t approve my Visa. I can’t get out there. You’ll have to cast one of the backup options.”
“Right, of course.”
Michael hung up and turned to the casting director. “We didn’t have one of those, did we?”
Anna shook her head. “We wanted Bela for the role. We didn’t even audition anyone.”
Chewing on his lip in thought, Michael glanced over to where his youngest brother was helping Uriel set up the sound. “Let’s use Castiel.”
“I beg your pardon.” Anna blinked and looked over at him. “He’s...not an actress.”
Michael shrugged. “Eh, well, move with the times. Cas! Get over here!”
It took an hour to bully his little brother into agreeing to the role. Dean was surprisingly sanguine with the decision.
“It’s Cas,” he explained when asked, shrugging.
If only Sam and Ruby were that accepting. They were young, good-looking, up-and-coming talent. They were both aware of this. So, of course they’d slept together, dated for about ten minutes and had subsequently broken up. And now they hated each other.
“I can’t work with her,” Sam complained, pulling Michael aside and glaring at Ruby, who had stormed up behind him. “She’s sucking my soul out with every line she speaks.”
Michael narrowed his eyes. “Live with it.”
“Can I swap with Cas?” Ruby asked. “Sam is too much of a whiny, annoying, spoiled little boy.”
“No!” Michael glared at them. “You’ve been cast in the roles that are best suited to you.”
“Cas is best suited to play a girl?” Ruby asked snarkily. “Yeah, sure.”
“I’m the director,” Michael replied. “This is not a democracy. Get your asses back to work.”
Once actors were wrangled, there was the writer to worry about. Chuck was a thoroughly nervous creature who was being browbeaten by the actors into changing things. It had to stop.
“Chuck, you do not deserve the way they’ve been treating you,’ Michael told the writer, determined that his movie would not be ruined, not by arrogant actors and weak-willed writers. “This is Raphael. He’s your new bodyguard.”
Chuck stared with wide eyes at the stony expression on Raphael’s face. “Um. Thank you.”
Michael nodded firmly and left.
It wasn’t just the talent and the writer that could negatively impact a production. The crew behind the set could cause a catastrophe of problems as well. Stunt work, for one, was heavily regulated and insured for a reason. Stunt doubles were used to keep his actors safe.
Michael had no idea why Lucifer had got it into his head to try and kill them every single stunt.
“Use the stunt doubles,” Michael instructed for the third time.
Lucifer remained obstinate. “I really think believability would be increased if the actors got to do it themselves.”
“My actors don’t know how to safely drive a car off a cliff and not die,” Michael replied. “Use the stunt doubles.”
Lucifer opened his mouth. “I really think that -”
Michael glared.
Shoulders slumped, Lucifer turned and left, muttering under his breath about artistic integrity and stubborn directors.
And even when things finally went smoothly, there were arguments about pay scales.
“Why is he getting paid more than me?” Dean demanded, waving his arms around and generally making a fool of himself.
Michael returned his glare calmly. “He isn’t. All four leads are being paid equal. To avoid this.”
Dean snorted. “No way. I’ve seen the budget. Someone is getting paid more, and I want to know who.”
“The star,” Michael replied, resigned. “The most important member of the cast.”
“Who’s that?’ Sam asked, folding his arms and glaring. Ruby joined them, while Cas stood in the back and stared at the amount of zeros he was getting with wide eyes.
“The Impala, of course.” Michael remained calm in the face of their disbelief. “Did you think all that screaming from Chuck and I not to scratch the Impala wasn’t for a reason? The Impala is the true star of this movie.”
Thank God filming was over. His actors were really looking disgruntled now.
Lucifer burst into the trailer. “Um, we have to evacuate the premises. I may have accidentally set the building on fire.”
“We’ve wrapped, Lucifer.” Michael frowned. “What were you doing?”
His brother shuffled in place and looked shifty. “Well, I certainly wasn’t burning any evidence of any felonies I may or may not have committed over the course of the shooting.”
“Whatever.” Michael stood and ushered everyone towards the exit. “It doesn’t matter. I’ll fiddle with the wrap date and our insurance will cover it.”
“Is that ethical?” Sam asked.
“You’re in this business and wondering about ethics?” Michael shook his head. “Don’t be naive.”
Fandom: Supernatural
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1001
Disclaimer: I do not own, I'm just having fun.
Notes: Written for the au_bingo prompt, 'Other:Actors'.
Summary: On the set of Paradise on Earth, Murphy's Law reigned supreme.
Everyone knew the set of Paradise on Earth was cursed. How could it not be?
Things had started off promisingly enough. They had the budget of a potential blockbuster action movie. They had a script by an award winning writer. They’d managed to cast the most popular action film lead star in Dean Winchester, and they’d gotten twice blessed to have cast his brother Sam in the other lead role. Sam Winchester was known for choosing more artsy films, with good scripts that end up critically acclaimed. The fact that Paradise on Earth had both Winchester brother’s was a huge marketing bonus.
That was where the problems began. Dean and Sam Winchester couldn’t stand each other.
They had made that very clear by refusing to speak to each other when the camera wasn’t rolling. This hadn’t seemed like a huge problem to begin with, because it was what happened on screen that really mattered, right? But trying to work out the best interactions between the characters was a lot more difficult when the actors portraying them insisted on silence, and instead communicated anything vital and necessary through their PA’s.
And the disasters just kept on coming. They were ruining his plan of how this film should be made.
“I’m really sorry, Michael.” His lead actress’s voice sounded genuine enough, he supposed. “But they didn’t approve my Visa. I can’t get out there. You’ll have to cast one of the backup options.”
“Right, of course.”
Michael hung up and turned to the casting director. “We didn’t have one of those, did we?”
Anna shook her head. “We wanted Bela for the role. We didn’t even audition anyone.”
Chewing on his lip in thought, Michael glanced over to where his youngest brother was helping Uriel set up the sound. “Let’s use Castiel.”
“I beg your pardon.” Anna blinked and looked over at him. “He’s...not an actress.”
Michael shrugged. “Eh, well, move with the times. Cas! Get over here!”
It took an hour to bully his little brother into agreeing to the role. Dean was surprisingly sanguine with the decision.
“It’s Cas,” he explained when asked, shrugging.
If only Sam and Ruby were that accepting. They were young, good-looking, up-and-coming talent. They were both aware of this. So, of course they’d slept together, dated for about ten minutes and had subsequently broken up. And now they hated each other.
“I can’t work with her,” Sam complained, pulling Michael aside and glaring at Ruby, who had stormed up behind him. “She’s sucking my soul out with every line she speaks.”
Michael narrowed his eyes. “Live with it.”
“Can I swap with Cas?” Ruby asked. “Sam is too much of a whiny, annoying, spoiled little boy.”
“No!” Michael glared at them. “You’ve been cast in the roles that are best suited to you.”
“Cas is best suited to play a girl?” Ruby asked snarkily. “Yeah, sure.”
“I’m the director,” Michael replied. “This is not a democracy. Get your asses back to work.”
Once actors were wrangled, there was the writer to worry about. Chuck was a thoroughly nervous creature who was being browbeaten by the actors into changing things. It had to stop.
“Chuck, you do not deserve the way they’ve been treating you,’ Michael told the writer, determined that his movie would not be ruined, not by arrogant actors and weak-willed writers. “This is Raphael. He’s your new bodyguard.”
Chuck stared with wide eyes at the stony expression on Raphael’s face. “Um. Thank you.”
Michael nodded firmly and left.
It wasn’t just the talent and the writer that could negatively impact a production. The crew behind the set could cause a catastrophe of problems as well. Stunt work, for one, was heavily regulated and insured for a reason. Stunt doubles were used to keep his actors safe.
Michael had no idea why Lucifer had got it into his head to try and kill them every single stunt.
“Use the stunt doubles,” Michael instructed for the third time.
Lucifer remained obstinate. “I really think believability would be increased if the actors got to do it themselves.”
“My actors don’t know how to safely drive a car off a cliff and not die,” Michael replied. “Use the stunt doubles.”
Lucifer opened his mouth. “I really think that -”
Michael glared.
Shoulders slumped, Lucifer turned and left, muttering under his breath about artistic integrity and stubborn directors.
And even when things finally went smoothly, there were arguments about pay scales.
“Why is he getting paid more than me?” Dean demanded, waving his arms around and generally making a fool of himself.
Michael returned his glare calmly. “He isn’t. All four leads are being paid equal. To avoid this.”
Dean snorted. “No way. I’ve seen the budget. Someone is getting paid more, and I want to know who.”
“The star,” Michael replied, resigned. “The most important member of the cast.”
“Who’s that?’ Sam asked, folding his arms and glaring. Ruby joined them, while Cas stood in the back and stared at the amount of zeros he was getting with wide eyes.
“The Impala, of course.” Michael remained calm in the face of their disbelief. “Did you think all that screaming from Chuck and I not to scratch the Impala wasn’t for a reason? The Impala is the true star of this movie.”
Thank God filming was over. His actors were really looking disgruntled now.
Lucifer burst into the trailer. “Um, we have to evacuate the premises. I may have accidentally set the building on fire.”
“We’ve wrapped, Lucifer.” Michael frowned. “What were you doing?”
His brother shuffled in place and looked shifty. “Well, I certainly wasn’t burning any evidence of any felonies I may or may not have committed over the course of the shooting.”
“Whatever.” Michael stood and ushered everyone towards the exit. “It doesn’t matter. I’ll fiddle with the wrap date and our insurance will cover it.”
“Is that ethical?” Sam asked.
“You’re in this business and wondering about ethics?” Michael shook his head. “Don’t be naive.”