Now I'm in over my head, for something I said...

[loadsavedgame]

Day: 16
Characters: Matt loadsavedgame and Hisoka soukahisoka, open to Rin cutest_avenger
Summary: Matt and Hisoka discuss Matt's attempted martyrdom, and are gay at each other try to recover; Rin joins the party for a Triforce of Awkward sleep over pow-wow.
DAY/NIGHT & Time: night, the minute the doors open; after the supposed 9 pm lockup
Status: closed; incomplete

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[soukahisoka]

Hisoka had spent the day feeling numb with terror. Joshua's playful voice, lightly reeling off the names of all the friends he'd made here, of anyone he'd ever spoken to, echoed in his mind. It had been a hit list. No question. And then some of the idiots, heedless of the obvious, unspoken threat, went and got themselves involved, and it was useless, it was his own heart spelled out in all those people's names, and if anything -- if anything happened to anyone else, ever again, because he was too weak to stop it

[loadsavedgame]

Hisoka looked a mess, stumbling to the door, opening it so he could come in. Matt slipped inside, noticing a little too late that he'd forgotten his vest, and it was cold, especially where the air pricked at the wide collar of his striped shirt. He shivered slightly, and wrapped slim arms around his stomach, holding himself a bit, for heat, and to try to maintain the calm, the carefully built numbness that he'd been fostering all day, keeping it from bursting out, because he hated feeling that helpless.

Hisoka greeted him while he shut the door, and he gave a tired nod, "I told you I would." he said, his voice low and soft, not looking at Hisoka. Hisoka looked terrible, and he didn't know if he could maintain the emotionlessness if he looked too much.

[soukahisoka]

"You had some... great plan, you wanted to tell me about. Right?" Hisoka murmured, pacing over to the bed and sitting down on it. He pushed long bangs out of his eyes and glanced up at Matt, who, without the vest, looked a lot less like a toasted marshmallow over-crisped on top. But the black stripes looked like bindings on the other boy's slender torso to Hisoka's tired eyes.

"Wanted to explain your idiocy today." Hisoka's hand still ached from where he'd punched the wall with all the frustrated rage and strength he could summon after listening to Matt talk to Joshua. His knuckles were scraped and raw, and the ache turned sharp when Hisoka moved his fingers. Stupid of him to do a thing like that when he was no longer a shinigami and couldn't simply heal. Stupid, and he lay his other hand over it in his lap.

[loadsavedgame]

He felt a little surge of emotion in his belly, and lowered his face again, trying to stamp it out so he would be able to do the...whatever it was he had to do to make this better. Hisoka sat down on the bed and Matt saw him folding his fragile hands in his lap, and his throat felt tight.

He shook his head, hair falling over his brow and into his eyes, "No great plan." he said softly, "Just reasoning. It's logical. You and Rin, you know, you have things to go back to. You have people you need to get back to. You need to get out of here. If Joshua was going to go for anyone, I wanted it to be me. All I have is a dozen bullets."

He heaved a deep sigh, walking over to sit on the bed, glancing over at Hisoka, "Am I calm enough to see how your hand is doing?" he asked, holding his own hand out toward the other boy.

[soukahisoka]

...It was perfectly logical. Matt was right. Hisoka had seen exactly what Matt had facing him, if he were returned to his world at exactly the point from which he was taken. The complete and utter dark. It was still unacceptable, and Hisoka's expression grew stubborn. "I don't want Joshua to go for anyone," he said flatly. "Not one loss is acceptable. Not when the reason is that he's a giggling sadist who sees me as the weakest link."

He blinked at Matt. "My hand?" He didn't really want to give Matt his hand, if only because the shaking that had started after his first meal here and hadn't really abated since would betray him, was especially bad today due to -- his feelings, he supposed, and self-loathing curdled in his stomach, making him feel sick. "It's fine. I was childish, doing something like that." Hisoka's good hand curled over the aching one almost protectively. The trembling was less apparent when his hands were still. "They hurt us here enough."