This chapter entitled "Virgins and Cannibals" appears to be a promising read.

I really do not want to go to work, since I have to walk in the cold motherfucking rain for half an hour to get there.

Self, there's a reason we don't eat a lot of ice cream or milk products.

I rode a short bus once.

All salads should be this spicy; this was worth waiting half an hour.

I'm going out drinking for the first time in a year and a half; I'm pretty sure I qualify for loserdom.

Winamp has decided that today is Gordon Lightfoot day.

Conversation with Zuzu Petals was like masturbating with a cheese grater: slightly amusing, but mostly painful.

My dad always shakes the hands of veterans on this day; and I think I will too.

I find out if it was a student who set off the goddamned fire alarms I will beat him within an inch of his life; we had the fire trucks and everything pull up and I'm really cold.