Sexuality!
Since T9 was talking about sexuality in lieu of a new meme idea, I piped up a little and ONCE AGAIN mentioned "oh man I could essay on this." So ... I decided to actually kick my own ass into finally essaying so I can stop saying that!
And by "essaying" I just mean for Yzak and Jr. since they're the complex ones as opposed to my current others (which is Dhianeila: straight/not sexual, Meer: straight/sexual, Red XIII: straight/LASTOFMYKINDNO!!, Carlos: straight/sexual) (read: Yzak and Jr. are the only two I really want to go into so that is all I am doing and you can't make me do more)
I SHOULD ALSO NOTE!! There are some pretty big Xenosaga spoilers for Jr.'s. So yes. :x
YZAK JULE
How do I play him? When I describe it in short, I go with "bi, but female leaning," although it's a little more than simply that. When it comes to visual attraction for Yzak, he tends to pay attention to that more for females. He thinks they are pretty! I play Yzak as having a small crush on Lacus, so let me start with that.
I recall somewhere, I FORGET WHERE EXACTLY! It might have been a seiyuu interview, or a magazine blurb, or maybe even something in an artbook. But I recall reading something quoted along the lines of Yzak is a "fan" of Lacus. Like many Coordinators on PLANT, Lacus is very well looked-upon by them all. So it's not a huge leap to assume that Yzak respects her in a similar manner, too.
Gundam SEED Episode 41:
Klueze: The Chairman seems to be having a hell of a time trying to get Lacus Clyne under control. Although I can't imagine that has anything to do with his orders to bring us back.
Yzak: However, I have a problem believing that she's a traitor.
I like noting small things like this. But as Yzak says that, he kind of looks down with a :S face.
Klueze: Clyne's followers are using her for those exact reasons. Many refuse to believe she'd do wrong. But how could you allow yourselves to be tricked, too? The many thoughts of many people get tangled in times of war. Never lose sight of what you're fighting against.
Pan to Yzak just. Staring at him, not really indicating he agrees or disagrees with him. Also bonus points to the way Klueze says don't lose sight of what you're fighting AGAINST and Yzak later in his Destiny manga telling his troops to not to lose sight of what they're fighting FOR I love Yzak so much you guys omg but this is getting off-topic now. POINT HERE IS Yzak has a hard time believing someone like Lacus could be a real traitor.
Suit CD 5 is basically Yzak's giant raging jealousboner for Athrun. He goes on a tangent listing ways Athrun has outdone him, one of those things: "His fiancee is Lacus Clyne..." he goes on to say he doesn't even HAVE a fiancee. Though I like to pull that line into play that Yzak is a touch more jealous about that because he has a tinycrush on her and of all the people he has to be engaged to is has to be someone Yzak has a tinycrush on damn you Athrun ruining his LIFE IN EVERY WAY!!
The whole last episode/end of Gundam SEED Destiny. Yzak and Dearka swoop into the battle, part of the ZAFT forces. The Alliance is there, as is our fun neutral party, starring Lacus. When Dearka asks Yzak if they're going to help him, Yzak rationalizes their action of protecting the Eternal (Lacus' ship) as that it's technically a ZAFT ship, so duh. Also, I assume by this time Yzak knows about Kira and his relationship to Lacus, so I can't help but laugh at Yzak's jab at him: "What the hell is the Freedom doing?!" With my tinycrush headcanon in mind, it is adorable because he can basically be going "look now I get to protect Lacus and be cooler than Kira for a change :'D" And then he warns the Eternal about the Messiah's oncoming shot.
I also guess that Yzak and Lacus knew each other. Not CLOSELY, but because of his SEED closeness to Athrun and the Council with his mother and stuff, I assume they were acquaintances at least. And Lacus' overall observation in both series probably leaves her knowing enough about him. MAINLY BECAUSE at the very end of Destiny Yzak's the one escorting her to PLANT and into the meeting in the very last scene. So I doubt Lacus would just let any random person do that. (you know inside Yzak is probably just like 8D!!! LOOK AT ME I'M SO COOL I'M ESCORTING ~LACUS~!! "is that Commander Jule?" YES IT IS MOTHERFUCKERS!)
So yes. I play Yzak with a tinycrush on Lacus, and those are some of the reasons why I do so. Like I said though, it is hardly anything huge from Yzak's POV. A crush is a very different thing from being attracted to a person for a larger number of reasons, so I never play Yzak as having like CRAZY INNER THOUGHTS ABOUT IT. He treats Lacus like a friend and a comrade, shows her a ton of respect because he believes she deserves it. Of course when she gets all Lacusy and tops him like she tops everybody in the world, he gets flustered. But he's Yzak, so female toppage in general has that effect on him.
"But Tara," you say, "you play him as having a tinycrush on Lacus and that is good and swell, but what about his most common female hetship?" Well first let me preface this by saying that playing in an environment where you get to go into more casual/not-WAR!!!! sides of things with a Shiho would be so much fun you would not even know. But that requires a lot of canon delving into spinoff games that are never going to be translated into English (SADFACE!) SO MY CHANCES OF THAT ARE DIM. But from what canon there is, Yzak and Shiho is basically the relationship where it's hinted that Shiho has a thing for him, and as shown in the manga, Yzak is retardedly blind to it.
So that's sort of how I play him in that case (assuming it ever came up). He probably thinks hey, she's cute! And pretty awesome since I expect nothing less of MY team, but does she like me like that? CLEARLY SHE DOES but to Yzak it's "nah I don't see any signs \o/" DURP DURP YZAK.
And now we make the shift from the female spectrum to the male. Like I said, from a more visual attraction standpoint, Yzak thinks girls are pretty! He's not so much that physically attracted to guys. But Yzak has like no huge female interaction in canon at all. And that is where things like this magazine blurb come from:
Yzak and Dearka are a famous combination, but hanging out with the same sex all the time is bad!
Yzak is a lot more comfortable around other guys! So even though I describe him as bi but female leaning, the fact that ... pretty much all of his closer relationships except with his mother are male puts the "who he actually gets close enough to" on that side. OOCly, I ship Yzak with a lot of people because part of why I love SEED is all the character relations and ♥. But from a roleplaying standpoint, I play him as somewhat attracted to one male (Dearka) and I say somewhat because ... more essaying!!
I'm not going to turn this into a summary recap of SEED and Destiny, since I am sure everybody knows that interpretations aside, THEY ARE SUPER CLOSE BROS and a good huge chunk of their interactions are with each other (and always as a double trouble, like Team Rocket). And from Yzak's POV, his biggest character development and ~growth~ is because of Dearka. I feel less inclined to mention as many specific instances as opposed to Lacus because Yzak and Dearka are already known to be close whereas Yzak and Lacus didn't really interact much at all. But Suit CD 5 comes to mind as something pretty prominent when it comes to their overall relationship:
Athrun: If he wanted to forfeit, why couldn't he have just said it? Yzak always gets so impatient during the game, tapping his fingers on the table and fidgeting. Does he always do that?
Dearka: That's just who he is.
Suit CD 5 takes place before the start of SEED, so in the timespan between academy and then (a little less than a year). So the three of them have known each other for ... time. And while Athrun seemingly doesn't know him as well as Dearka, Dearka's just like "yep that's who he is \o/" So the two of them are that early on, close enough to give simple answers like that to other people.
Which goes into their overall trust in each other mainly in Destiny (considering Dearka's TRAITORNESS!! and Yzak just being like "ya ok you can be my right hand bitch on my team idc I know you are not some crazy ass evil spy." Actually, that brings me to this blurb:
The reason why Dearka sticks with Yzak? It's strangely mysterious. While it seems all right to just leave Miriallia on her own, because you can never tell what Yzak does when you turn away from him (sentence translation is a reference to the way Yzak acts and feels about things), it is possible that Dearka had thought "Oh well, looks like I have to follow him" but, even so he seems to be enjoying his role as Yzak's partner.
The current position is great. Being beneath Yzak, it's fun, he can make jokes, and there's freedom. Whether there was none of those under Miri's butt (phrase translation referencing that the jokes and freedom might not have been there, hence the "butt" and sitting on implication), that's something only Dearka himself will know.
Yzak's hair is swishy and shiny but, his personality is very blunt. Always screaming, and always unhappy when he's not number one. Basically, it may be that if he's not in the spotlight and not in the focus, he may become lonely. A person with good upbringing, may become that way if cared for too much. A person who wants to be cared for by others, is giving people orders. He who went into a frenzy after losing Nicol. He who visits the graves dutifully. He who stretched his hand out to Athrun and asked him to return. The true human side that is seen beneath the grouchiness, is showing. Being a human, being honest with his emotions. As someone in command of the military, it is a weak point. The cool Dearka, is supporting that. Yzak himself says, "Foolish idiot! It doesn't matter if he's here or not!" But inside, he definitely, has full trust in Dearka.
That blurb mentions something else that I think plays into Yzak's relationships, be it sexuality-based and just in general interaction. Yzak loves attention and spotlight and hates not being noticed/on top. He is a Leo and a damned great stereotype for one. I think this mixed with how I play Yzak is where a lot of the SEED Club joking comes from (regarding Miri). It's headcanon for me that when Dearka was dating Miri? Yzak was totally pissed off because he wasn't the constant center of attention and was probably too stupid to realize exactly why ("Dearka, we should do such and such." "Oh sorry I have a date." "FINE GO ON YOUR STUPID DATE ASSHOLE. [stays home alone and downs a bottle of wine muttering profanities under his breath about STUPID DEARKA and ALWAYS TOO BUSY TO DO ANYTHING WITH ~ME~ FOR A CHANGE and WHAT A BASTARD FOR LEAVING ME HANGING HOW DARE HE sob I hate being brushed off]"). To Yzak's most important people and friends, the closer he is them, the more it hurts when he doesn't feel like they want to be with ~him~.
And then of course there's:
"Yeah, peace is nice. This is a nice country. The girls are cute," Dearka added.
"What does that have to do with peace?!" Yzak asked, annoyed.
Dearka shrugged. "Well, even the Natural girls are hot."
"Since when were you so interested in girls?" Yzak snapped at Dearka.
Yzak, u so mad. Also, the "since" there just makes me ... what you know each other so well and for SOME REASON this is like something groundbreaking and shocking? WHAT LEAD YOU TO ASSUME OTHERWISE, YZAK. And like I said above, grumpy Yzak and jealous, not-the-center-of-attention-Yzak is something that mixes to become pretty much ever SEED Club related thing ever. SEED Club is not canon and pretty much just crack, yes. But it's not just random ass crack, so they overblow a lot of things about the characters (Fllay's crazy, Kira's |D, etc), and with Yzak and Dearka pretty much all of their featured stuff is gay jokes. Yzak JEALOUSLY SABOTAGING GIFTS TO HIM for example. And don't even get me started on the SEED Club animation ("why are we dressed [in swimsuits], what are we about to do? [COVERS SELF UP] IT CAN'T BE--!" "I-IDIOT WHAT ARE YOU THINKING." Also, "Dearka! Hand me "that thing" of yours!" "J-just what are you implying?!") So yeah, I think I'll end this part of it here and say these are a few reasons why I play Yzak having a ~WEIRD THING~ about Dearka. Attraction? Even though he leans female he DOES have ... states of attraction toward males. Just not nearly as much. But that brings me to my last point in how I play him when it comes to this.
He's totally comfortable and fine with the way things are between them as is. Which confuses Yzak sometimes. Because he's fine with things as is, meaning he has no particular intent to let any of his feelings be known outright, but at the same time, he would get/has gotten pissy if anything got in the way of how things are now and he would get all angryjealousrage. So it's like no he doesn't EXACTLY REALLY WANT A RELATIONSHIP but nobody else can have one with him, either. Not without Yzak GRUMPING and getting jealous and coming close to eating their face off. :|b Yzak is the most mature.
Of course then there is Yzak's not being a very sexual person at all in general. Hell, he has personal space problems (not a fan of close contact or draping unless he likes you enough, etc). So really these are things that will probably not come into play unless there is a lot of building and playing. Because Yzak is magical like that.
I THINK THAT IS ALL FOR YZAK ... summary being bi, female leaning, but tends to connect better with males. But not very sexual in general. :|b
GAIGNUN KUKAI JR.
How do I play Jr.? I pretty much describe it as "straight, but then lol the URTVs lol." But for Jr., there is a lot beyond that. So much that I sobbed at the idea of having to essay about it and put it into sense-making order. BUT I SHALL TRY!
JR. AND HIS FEELINGS. When Jr. was a teeny little 12 year old emo bioweapon named Rubedo, he met a girl named Sakura (who was suffering from a disease -- part of Rubedo's weapon training was to try to help what was causing her sickness) who basically told him he was not a weapon but a wonderful boy! And the two of them basically shared a young love and Jr., who had really had no sense of identity outside of BIOWEAPON!!1!, gained one thanks to her.
For reference, Juli is Sakura's mother and MOMO is the "sister" she talks about.
Rubedo: What’s the point? So I can say, “Hi! You’re the mother of a bunch of genetically engineered bioweapons”?
Sakura: Don’t say that. You’re not a weapon. You’re a wonderful boy.
Rubedo: Oh yeah? The only time we can leave the Institute is when there’s a war going on.
Sakura: ... ... ... Hey, Rubedo. I have a favor to ask of you. My little sister is gonna be born soon. She’s kind of different from a normal sister. I mean, my mom won’t be giving birth to her, but… My mother and sister… I want you to look after them for me, okay?
Rubedo: ... Okay! If she’s your sister, I’ll look after her like she was my own!
Sakura: You promise?
Rubedo: Of course! Leave it to-
Sakura: [cheek kiss, gets up and heads back to her house] Good night, Rubedo! See you tomorrow.
Rubedo: [slow durp wave]
From then on, he has a lot of childhood THINGS about being all puppy for her, but. Now I am going to quote various examples of how much Sakura is basically Jr.'s reasons for existing that show up 14/15 years later.
Jr.: Look, I don’t know what kind of person Joachim Mizrahi was. I don’t even know what he was thinking when he created the 100-Series. But still, I made a promise to Sakura.
Juli: To Sakura?
Jr.: So I’m going to treat MOMO like a real girl.
Juli: What sort of promise?
Jr.: She asked me to look after her mother and sister. ... Please doctor. I’d like you to smile again. I’m sure that’s what Sakura would want, too.
[Jr.'s losing control to his Red Dragon Mode. Sakura's phantom appears to calm him down.]
Sakura: Rubedo… Don’t be afraid. I ... I believe in you, Rubedo.
He manages to calm down, and slowly stands to make his way toward FINAL BOSS ENDING!
Jr.: I am ... me. I won’t ... give in to it.
Sakura: Get up, Rubedo. There are people waiting for you. Don’t let them down now. Remember ... remember the promise that you made me?
MOMO: Please promise me. Promise you’ll come back!
Jr.: MOMO! ... Sakura, you’re right! I promised I’d protect your sister… …didn’t I? I couldn’t protect my younger brother. But there are still people I care about who I can protect.
Sakura: That’s right, Rubedo. That’s the Rubedo that ... that I love.
Jr.: Sakura… Thanks. [moves to collapse into her arms but chaos is waiting to catch him instead like a Jesus does]
Citrine: Why were be born? For what reason do we exist? Answer me, Rubedo. You betrayed your comrades, you killed your brother. Why are you still alive?
Jr.: To keep my promise.
Citrine: Your promise?
Jr.: Yes. The reason I exist is to keep the promise I made.
Citrine: You’re still haunted by that woman’s shadow. I pity you.
So yeah. SAKURA IS THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON TO JR. It's been 15 years since she died, so Jr. isn't IN LOVE with her in the sense that he wouldn't be with anybody else. But Sakura was his childhood love and quite possibly who he would have been with if she had lived. But she didn't. She defined who he is and gave him the strength before, during and after the Miltian War to live as something not a weapon, but who and what he wants to be. Nobody else is going to ever be that important to him. But Jr. still has other people and family who are important to him on so many different levels. MOMO is Sakura's sister, and the one Jr. promised to look after for Sakura. I don't play Jr. as seeing MOMO as anything more than a sister (as adorable as they are), but that is also for a myriad of reasons, her being Sakura's sister aside. Which brings me to my next point of essay.
Jr.'s physical age and his mental age. He is physically 12, and mentally 27. And this plays a lot into every aspect of a theoretical relationship. Because there is that split of being stuck in a pre-pubescent body and thus looking/somewhat feeling "his age" thinking other lolis are cute, and then basically being a 27 year old man who is naturally attracted to females in his actual age range. WHICH PRETTY MUCH LEAVES BOTH ENDS OF THAT SPECTRUM PRETTY FUCKED. Because Jr. is not sexually attracted to lolis because he is 27 years old even though he is a shouta! And he is sexually attracted to older women but ... he is physically a shouta.
I play Jr. as the split he has in canon between being a super serious business foundation director and being a 12 year old hurpdurp. I think both parts of him are natural, and the child act isn't exactly an act as much as it's in part his body being so tiny and him not feeling like his real age so not always acting like it naturally. Yeah, some of it is an act obviously, but not all of it. There are people on the foundation who know Jr. isn't actually Gaignun's son and some who know he's not really a kid. I also play Jr. as having had SOME experience in the relationship area-- after all, we have stuff like:
Mary: Probably. But I think Little Master’s plenty attractive just the way he is.
Shelley: True… Mary, we’ll be leaving in two minutes. Hurry back, okay?
Mary: Roger. ... It's a shame… Little Master doesn’t have any choice in the matter but to stay that size…
SO I DO THINK SHE (as well as other people) would be understanding to that dilemma enough to look past it and not be too weirded out that he is a shouta 27 year old. :|b SO HE ... DATES. LADIES HIS OWN ACTUAL AGE. But since he's physically 12 he sadly doesn't make it past second base ever. To Jr., this is extremely frustrating sometimes, even though he knows he stay's small for a good reason. So he does his best to get what he can out of it which is why he's flirty. Which he is:
NPC1: Um, um, would you like to go out for some coffee? Hmm, that's not right. Hey, baby, how's about you and I go for some tea? That's sort of weird. Hmm, it just doesn't sound right! I'm not smooth like Little Master.
NPC2: Oh, it's not like he's broken or anything. He seems to be taking lessons from Little Master on how to hit on girls, and he's practicing.
NPC1: O-oh, Little Master! I can't do it. Not anymore! No matter how hard I try, I just can't hit on girls...
NPC2: Oh, Little Master, I don't think he has what it takes. Spending any more time teaching him is just a waste. Little Master, what's the point of teaching Realians how to hit on girls?
NPC: Oh, Little Master? What are you up to? Cruising for more chicks again? I heard you're going after 100-Series these days. Lucky you. It must be nice to be you.
Now, the "lol the U.R.T.V.s lol" part. The U.R.T.V.s are just really ... well. They are one extremely fucked up family for starters. Crazed father wanting to kill/become God creating them as bioweapons as part this agenda of his. The results of that RUINING SO MUCH, mentally fucking over the only person aside from Sakura that Rubedo had an extremely close connection to (aside from Gaignun). The U.R.T.V.s are just hilariously unstable-- even 14 years after the Miltian War when Jr. and Gaignun are comfortably leading the Foundation and seemingly leading normal lives, Albedo's and later, Yuriev's (re)appearances just kind of poke that seemingly stable comfortable life and it shatters back into "LOL OUR FAMILY FML!!"
As children, the U.R.T.V.s only had each other. Their father always saw them as tools, and while Nigredo (Gaignun) and Albedo knew Sakura, Gaignun was never SUPERCLOSE to her and Albedo was more jealous of her relationship with Rubedo (because of his attachment to Rubedo) but the way he acts when she dies implies that he didn't hate her and knew that she was important to his most important person. So this is sort of the foundation of how crazy close they are to each other.
But even as kids they were sort of crazy so that didn't help. Albedo found out Rubedo and Nigredo weren't immortal, and flips his shit (as well as starts to practice digging graves for them. Good times!). Shows early signs of his sociopathic insane-ass behavior by beating another standard U.R.T.V. almost to death because he doesn't like the way they treat the variants (they dislike them, and call Rubedo a monster) and so on. So when Rubedo cuts the link and Albedo gets infected and MORE mentally fucked up by the Song of Nephilim, he's a lost cause. His perverted crazy antics to other characters aside, he still, despite his antagonistic approach to Jr. is absolutely obsessed with him. SO THERE ARE A LOT OF FUN CREEPY VIBES THERE that cross over from brotherly love, but don't quite hit the incest level.
Albedo and Rubedo were born as conjoined twins, so after their separation, they still felt a strong connection to each other. Jr. feels Albedo's heartbeat on the other side of his chest. All Albedo's true goal was was to become one with Jr., and in turn Jr. wanted to atone for what he did during the Miltian War. Despite every circumstance and happenstance (which involved fighting each other, death (which helped a great deal) rebirth as a Testament (you see their change in relationship toward the end of Episode III)), the two really felt the same way inside, but Jr. was Jr. and Albedo was fucking insane, so it took a LOT OF WORK to get to their ending.
EPISODE II:
Albedo: Oblivion, huh? You might say this is a release. At least ... I won’t have to fear losing anyone anymore.
Jr.: Albedo?!
Albedo: What’s with that face? You look like you just lost your best friend*, Rubedo.
Jr.: You bastard! You knew all along--
*in the Japanese version he actually says "lover" lol.
EPISODE III:
Albedo: I came to warn you, my hopeless but most beloved other half.
He achieved oblivion at Jr.'s hands by accepting U-DO's characteristics into a part of himself--in his mind, this must have been the best was to get close to Jr.. His choice to rely on Jr., even though he could have used his U.R.T.V. ability to cause a mutual annihilation effect with U-DO on his own, is further proof of this notion. While oblivion did grant a portion of his wish, it was also undeniably an effort to escape the reality he faced.
Wilhelm negotiated with Albedo, proposing to unify him with Jr. Albedo recognized his true desire and was reborn as a Testament. Albedo initially attempted to fill his role as a Testament, but instead chose to perish with Dmitri, who had merged with U-DO through Omega. He attempted to use the power of the Testament to perish with Dmitri, in order to protect Jr.; however, Gaignun took his place at the last minute, effectively fulfilling Albedo's true desire--achieving a true psychic union with Jr.
As for Gaignun, after the conflict him and Jr. were the only two (knowingly) rescued, so basically clung to each other after that, and basically grew up together to become the badass force that they are. Hell, their assumed name of Gaignun came from a cat that they both raised as kids together, so! From Gaignun's POV, however, he was born as a failsafe to Jr.'s destructive Red Dragon power, so he always felt like the odd one out/etc. So I would imagine that, since both of them tried so hard to LEAVE that past behind them, Gaignun tried that much harder to BE WITH JR. AS A FRIEND AND A BROTHER:
Albedo: But I know your true form, executioner.
Gaignun: I shed that skin long ago.
Albedo: Is that so? You sure you’re not just hanging around Rubedo because you’re waiting for the chance to carry out your mission?
And in turn Jr. feeling HORRIBLE ABOUT EVERYTHING EVER tried that much harder to make it up to the one who did survive. Which is why the U.R.T.V.s' ending was bittersweet. So amazingly adorable from Albedo's/Jr.'s POV but yet so terribly heartbreaking from Gaignun's/Jr.'s.
Gaignun: The only reason why I existed was to kill you. I tried to abandon that duty, but that would have meant that I was denying my own existence. I... I was afraid of being separated from the two of you. Albedo knew from the beginning, that I was nothing more than a danger to you. I know that I never should have existed in this world to begin with.
Jr.: Nigredo! That's not true! We were friends, remember?
Gaignun: My duty to keep watch over you is over. No, I want it to be over.
(Vision turns from Gaignun to little Nigredo)
Gaignun: I'm not saying goodbye. Let's play together again sometime. Until then, take care, Rubedo, Albedo...
Mary: He said, thanks for everything you've done. Take care of Little Master.
Shelley: I can't believe he still worried about Little Master.
Mary: Yeah, he just had to try and sound cool, even to the very end.
Shelley: Yes, but that's just like him.
So yeah. Jr. is straight, but his relationship with the U.R.T.V.s is sort of ... aha! I ship me the fuck out of U.R.T.V.cest, but I would never play it out on that level. The unsettling line-dancing levels like in canon though, I am completely chill with because that is what it is.
... AND I THINK I'M FINALLY DONE HERE.
SO. COMMENTS/QUESTIONS/"TARA YOU TYPE TOO MUCH SHUT UP"S?
And by "essaying" I just mean for Yzak and Jr. since they're the complex ones as opposed to my current others (which is Dhianeila: straight/not sexual, Meer: straight/sexual, Red XIII: straight/LASTOFMYKINDNO!!, Carlos: straight/sexual) (read: Yzak and Jr. are the only two I really want to go into so that is all I am doing and you can't make me do more)
I SHOULD ALSO NOTE!! There are some pretty big Xenosaga spoilers for Jr.'s. So yes. :x
YZAK JULE
How do I play him? When I describe it in short, I go with "bi, but female leaning," although it's a little more than simply that. When it comes to visual attraction for Yzak, he tends to pay attention to that more for females. He thinks they are pretty! I play Yzak as having a small crush on Lacus, so let me start with that.
Klueze: The Chairman seems to be having a hell of a time trying to get Lacus Clyne under control. Although I can't imagine that has anything to do with his orders to bring us back.
Yzak: However, I have a problem believing that she's a traitor.
I like noting small things like this. But as Yzak says that, he kind of looks down with a :S face.
Klueze: Clyne's followers are using her for those exact reasons. Many refuse to believe she'd do wrong. But how could you allow yourselves to be tricked, too? The many thoughts of many people get tangled in times of war. Never lose sight of what you're fighting against.
Pan to Yzak just. Staring at him, not really indicating he agrees or disagrees with him. Also bonus points to the way Klueze says don't lose sight of what you're fighting AGAINST and Yzak later in his Destiny manga telling his troops to not to lose sight of what they're fighting FOR I love Yzak so much you guys omg but this is getting off-topic now. POINT HERE IS Yzak has a hard time believing someone like Lacus could be a real traitor.
I also guess that Yzak and Lacus knew each other. Not CLOSELY, but because of his SEED closeness to Athrun and the Council with his mother and stuff, I assume they were acquaintances at least. And Lacus' overall observation in both series probably leaves her knowing enough about him. MAINLY BECAUSE at the very end of Destiny Yzak's the one escorting her to PLANT and into the meeting in the very last scene. So I doubt Lacus would just let any random person do that. (you know inside Yzak is probably just like 8D!!! LOOK AT ME I'M SO COOL I'M ESCORTING ~LACUS~!! "is that Commander Jule?" YES IT IS MOTHERFUCKERS!)
So yes. I play Yzak with a tinycrush on Lacus, and those are some of the reasons why I do so. Like I said though, it is hardly anything huge from Yzak's POV. A crush is a very different thing from being attracted to a person for a larger number of reasons, so I never play Yzak as having like CRAZY INNER THOUGHTS ABOUT IT. He treats Lacus like a friend and a comrade, shows her a ton of respect because he believes she deserves it. Of course when she gets all Lacusy and tops him like she tops everybody in the world, he gets flustered. But he's Yzak, so female toppage in general has that effect on him.
"But Tara," you say, "you play him as having a tinycrush on Lacus and that is good and swell, but what about his most common female hetship?" Well first let me preface this by saying that playing in an environment where you get to go into more casual/not-WAR!!!! sides of things with a Shiho would be so much fun you would not even know. But that requires a lot of canon delving into spinoff games that are never going to be translated into English (SADFACE!) SO MY CHANCES OF THAT ARE DIM. But from what canon there is, Yzak and Shiho is basically the relationship where it's hinted that Shiho has a thing for him, and as shown in the manga, Yzak is retardedly blind to it.
So that's sort of how I play him in that case (assuming it ever came up). He probably thinks hey, she's cute! And pretty awesome since I expect nothing less of MY team, but does she like me like that? CLEARLY SHE DOES but to Yzak it's "nah I don't see any signs \o/" DURP DURP YZAK.
And now we make the shift from the female spectrum to the male. Like I said, from a more visual attraction standpoint, Yzak thinks girls are pretty! He's not so much that physically attracted to guys. But Yzak has like no huge female interaction in canon at all. And that is where things like this magazine blurb come from:
Yzak is a lot more comfortable around other guys! So even though I describe him as bi but female leaning, the fact that ... pretty much all of his closer relationships except with his mother are male puts the "who he actually gets close enough to" on that side. OOCly, I ship Yzak with a lot of people because part of why I love SEED is all the character relations and ♥. But from a roleplaying standpoint, I play him as somewhat attracted to one male (Dearka) and I say somewhat because ... more essaying!!
I'm not going to turn this into a summary recap of SEED and Destiny, since I am sure everybody knows that interpretations aside, THEY ARE SUPER CLOSE BROS and a good huge chunk of their interactions are with each other (and always as a double trouble, like Team Rocket). And from Yzak's POV, his biggest character development and ~growth~ is because of Dearka. I feel less inclined to mention as many specific instances as opposed to Lacus because Yzak and Dearka are already known to be close whereas Yzak and Lacus didn't really interact much at all. But Suit CD 5 comes to mind as something pretty prominent when it comes to their overall relationship:
Dearka: That's just who he is.
Suit CD 5 takes place before the start of SEED, so in the timespan between academy and then (a little less than a year). So the three of them have known each other for ... time. And while Athrun seemingly doesn't know him as well as Dearka, Dearka's just like "yep that's who he is \o/" So the two of them are that early on, close enough to give simple answers like that to other people.
Which goes into their overall trust in each other mainly in Destiny (considering Dearka's TRAITORNESS!! and Yzak just being like "ya ok you can be my right hand bitch on my team idc I know you are not some crazy ass evil spy." Actually, that brings me to this blurb:
The current position is great. Being beneath Yzak, it's fun, he can make jokes, and there's freedom. Whether there was none of those under Miri's butt (phrase translation referencing that the jokes and freedom might not have been there, hence the "butt" and sitting on implication), that's something only Dearka himself will know.
Yzak's hair is swishy and shiny but, his personality is very blunt. Always screaming, and always unhappy when he's not number one. Basically, it may be that if he's not in the spotlight and not in the focus, he may become lonely. A person with good upbringing, may become that way if cared for too much. A person who wants to be cared for by others, is giving people orders. He who went into a frenzy after losing Nicol. He who visits the graves dutifully. He who stretched his hand out to Athrun and asked him to return. The true human side that is seen beneath the grouchiness, is showing. Being a human, being honest with his emotions. As someone in command of the military, it is a weak point. The cool Dearka, is supporting that. Yzak himself says, "Foolish idiot! It doesn't matter if he's here or not!" But inside, he definitely, has full trust in Dearka.
That blurb mentions something else that I think plays into Yzak's relationships, be it sexuality-based and just in general interaction. Yzak loves attention and spotlight and hates not being noticed/on top. He is a Leo and a damned great stereotype for one. I think this mixed with how I play Yzak is where a lot of the SEED Club joking comes from (regarding Miri). It's headcanon for me that when Dearka was dating Miri? Yzak was totally pissed off because he wasn't the constant center of attention and was probably too stupid to realize exactly why ("Dearka, we should do such and such." "Oh sorry I have a date." "FINE GO ON YOUR STUPID DATE ASSHOLE. [stays home alone and downs a bottle of wine muttering profanities under his breath about STUPID DEARKA and ALWAYS TOO BUSY TO DO ANYTHING WITH ~ME~ FOR A CHANGE and WHAT A BASTARD FOR LEAVING ME HANGING HOW DARE HE sob I hate being brushed off]"). To Yzak's most important people and friends, the closer he is them, the more it hurts when he doesn't feel like they want to be with ~him~.
And then of course there's:
"What does that have to do with peace?!" Yzak asked, annoyed.
Dearka shrugged. "Well, even the Natural girls are hot."
"Since when were you so interested in girls?" Yzak snapped at Dearka.
Yzak, u so mad. Also, the "since" there just makes me ... what you know each other so well and for SOME REASON this is like something groundbreaking and shocking? WHAT LEAD YOU TO ASSUME OTHERWISE, YZAK. And like I said above, grumpy Yzak and jealous, not-the-center-of-attention-Yzak is something that mixes to become pretty much ever SEED Club related thing ever. SEED Club is not canon and pretty much just crack, yes. But it's not just random ass crack, so they overblow a lot of things about the characters (Fllay's crazy, Kira's |D, etc), and with Yzak and Dearka pretty much all of their featured stuff is gay jokes. Yzak JEALOUSLY SABOTAGING GIFTS TO HIM for example. And don't even get me started on the SEED Club animation ("why are we dressed [in swimsuits], what are we about to do? [COVERS SELF UP] IT CAN'T BE--!" "I-IDIOT WHAT ARE YOU THINKING." Also, "Dearka! Hand me "that thing" of yours!" "J-just what are you implying?!") So yeah, I think I'll end this part of it here and say these are a few reasons why I play Yzak having a ~WEIRD THING~ about Dearka. Attraction? Even though he leans female he DOES have ... states of attraction toward males. Just not nearly as much. But that brings me to my last point in how I play him when it comes to this.
He's totally comfortable and fine with the way things are between them as is. Which confuses Yzak sometimes. Because he's fine with things as is, meaning he has no particular intent to let any of his feelings be known outright, but at the same time, he would get/has gotten pissy if anything got in the way of how things are now and he would get all angryjealousrage. So it's like no he doesn't EXACTLY REALLY WANT A RELATIONSHIP but nobody else can have one with him, either. Not without Yzak GRUMPING and getting jealous and coming close to eating their face off. :|b Yzak is the most mature.
Of course then there is Yzak's not being a very sexual person at all in general. Hell, he has personal space problems (not a fan of close contact or draping unless he likes you enough, etc). So really these are things that will probably not come into play unless there is a lot of building and playing. Because Yzak is magical like that.
I THINK THAT IS ALL FOR YZAK ... summary being bi, female leaning, but tends to connect better with males. But not very sexual in general. :|b
GAIGNUN KUKAI JR.
How do I play Jr.? I pretty much describe it as "straight, but then lol the URTVs lol." But for Jr., there is a lot beyond that. So much that I sobbed at the idea of having to essay about it and put it into sense-making order. BUT I SHALL TRY!
JR. AND HIS FEELINGS. When Jr. was a teeny little 12 year old emo bioweapon named Rubedo, he met a girl named Sakura (who was suffering from a disease -- part of Rubedo's weapon training was to try to help what was causing her sickness) who basically told him he was not a weapon but a wonderful boy! And the two of them basically shared a young love and Jr., who had really had no sense of identity outside of BIOWEAPON!!1!, gained one thanks to her.
For reference, Juli is Sakura's mother and MOMO is the "sister" she talks about.
Sakura: Don’t say that. You’re not a weapon. You’re a wonderful boy.
Rubedo: Oh yeah? The only time we can leave the Institute is when there’s a war going on.
Sakura: ... ... ... Hey, Rubedo. I have a favor to ask of you. My little sister is gonna be born soon. She’s kind of different from a normal sister. I mean, my mom won’t be giving birth to her, but… My mother and sister… I want you to look after them for me, okay?
Rubedo: ... Okay! If she’s your sister, I’ll look after her like she was my own!
Sakura: You promise?
Rubedo: Of course! Leave it to-
Sakura: [cheek kiss, gets up and heads back to her house] Good night, Rubedo! See you tomorrow.
Rubedo: [slow durp wave]
From then on, he has a lot of childhood THINGS about being all puppy for her, but. Now I am going to quote various examples of how much Sakura is basically Jr.'s reasons for existing that show up 14/15 years later.
Juli: To Sakura?
Jr.: So I’m going to treat MOMO like a real girl.
Juli: What sort of promise?
Jr.: She asked me to look after her mother and sister. ... Please doctor. I’d like you to smile again. I’m sure that’s what Sakura would want, too.
Sakura: Rubedo… Don’t be afraid. I ... I believe in you, Rubedo.
He manages to calm down, and slowly stands to make his way toward FINAL BOSS ENDING!
Jr.: I am ... me. I won’t ... give in to it.
MOMO: Please promise me. Promise you’ll come back!
Jr.: MOMO! ... Sakura, you’re right! I promised I’d protect your sister… …didn’t I? I couldn’t protect my younger brother. But there are still people I care about who I can protect.
Sakura: That’s right, Rubedo. That’s the Rubedo that ... that I love.
Jr.: Sakura… Thanks. [moves to collapse into her arms but chaos is waiting to catch him instead like a Jesus does]
Jr.: To keep my promise.
Citrine: Your promise?
Jr.: Yes. The reason I exist is to keep the promise I made.
Citrine: You’re still haunted by that woman’s shadow. I pity you.
So yeah. SAKURA IS THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON TO JR. It's been 15 years since she died, so Jr. isn't IN LOVE with her in the sense that he wouldn't be with anybody else. But Sakura was his childhood love and quite possibly who he would have been with if she had lived. But she didn't. She defined who he is and gave him the strength before, during and after the Miltian War to live as something not a weapon, but who and what he wants to be. Nobody else is going to ever be that important to him. But Jr. still has other people and family who are important to him on so many different levels. MOMO is Sakura's sister, and the one Jr. promised to look after for Sakura. I don't play Jr. as seeing MOMO as anything more than a sister (as adorable as they are), but that is also for a myriad of reasons, her being Sakura's sister aside. Which brings me to my next point of essay.
Jr.'s physical age and his mental age. He is physically 12, and mentally 27. And this plays a lot into every aspect of a theoretical relationship. Because there is that split of being stuck in a pre-pubescent body and thus looking/somewhat feeling "his age" thinking other lolis are cute, and then basically being a 27 year old man who is naturally attracted to females in his actual age range. WHICH PRETTY MUCH LEAVES BOTH ENDS OF THAT SPECTRUM PRETTY FUCKED. Because Jr. is not sexually attracted to lolis because he is 27 years old even though he is a shouta! And he is sexually attracted to older women but ... he is physically a shouta.
I play Jr. as the split he has in canon between being a super serious business foundation director and being a 12 year old hurpdurp. I think both parts of him are natural, and the child act isn't exactly an act as much as it's in part his body being so tiny and him not feeling like his real age so not always acting like it naturally. Yeah, some of it is an act obviously, but not all of it. There are people on the foundation who know Jr. isn't actually Gaignun's son and some who know he's not really a kid. I also play Jr. as having had SOME experience in the relationship area-- after all, we have stuff like:
Shelley: True… Mary, we’ll be leaving in two minutes. Hurry back, okay?
Mary: Roger. ... It's a shame… Little Master doesn’t have any choice in the matter but to stay that size…
SO I DO THINK SHE (as well as other people) would be understanding to that dilemma enough to look past it and not be too weirded out that he is a shouta 27 year old. :|b SO HE ... DATES. LADIES HIS OWN ACTUAL AGE. But since he's physically 12 he sadly doesn't make it past second base ever. To Jr., this is extremely frustrating sometimes, even though he knows he stay's small for a good reason. So he does his best to get what he can out of it which is why he's flirty. Which he is:
NPC2: Oh, it's not like he's broken or anything. He seems to be taking lessons from Little Master on how to hit on girls, and he's practicing.
NPC1: O-oh, Little Master! I can't do it. Not anymore! No matter how hard I try, I just can't hit on girls...
NPC2: Oh, Little Master, I don't think he has what it takes. Spending any more time teaching him is just a waste. Little Master, what's the point of teaching Realians how to hit on girls?
Now, the "lol the U.R.T.V.s lol" part. The U.R.T.V.s are just really ... well. They are one extremely fucked up family for starters. Crazed father wanting to kill/become God creating them as bioweapons as part this agenda of his. The results of that RUINING SO MUCH, mentally fucking over the only person aside from Sakura that Rubedo had an extremely close connection to (aside from Gaignun). The U.R.T.V.s are just hilariously unstable-- even 14 years after the Miltian War when Jr. and Gaignun are comfortably leading the Foundation and seemingly leading normal lives, Albedo's and later, Yuriev's (re)appearances just kind of poke that seemingly stable comfortable life and it shatters back into "LOL OUR FAMILY FML!!"
As children, the U.R.T.V.s only had each other. Their father always saw them as tools, and while Nigredo (Gaignun) and Albedo knew Sakura, Gaignun was never SUPERCLOSE to her and Albedo was more jealous of her relationship with Rubedo (because of his attachment to Rubedo) but the way he acts when she dies implies that he didn't hate her and knew that she was important to his most important person. So this is sort of the foundation of how crazy close they are to each other.
But even as kids they were sort of crazy so that didn't help. Albedo found out Rubedo and Nigredo weren't immortal, and flips his shit (as well as starts to practice digging graves for them. Good times!). Shows early signs of his sociopathic insane-ass behavior by beating another standard U.R.T.V. almost to death because he doesn't like the way they treat the variants (they dislike them, and call Rubedo a monster) and so on. So when Rubedo cuts the link and Albedo gets infected and MORE mentally fucked up by the Song of Nephilim, he's a lost cause. His perverted crazy antics to other characters aside, he still, despite his antagonistic approach to Jr. is absolutely obsessed with him. SO THERE ARE A LOT OF FUN CREEPY VIBES THERE that cross over from brotherly love, but don't quite hit the incest level.
Albedo and Rubedo were born as conjoined twins, so after their separation, they still felt a strong connection to each other. Jr. feels Albedo's heartbeat on the other side of his chest. All Albedo's true goal was was to become one with Jr., and in turn Jr. wanted to atone for what he did during the Miltian War. Despite every circumstance and happenstance (which involved fighting each other, death (which helped a great deal) rebirth as a Testament (you see their change in relationship toward the end of Episode III)), the two really felt the same way inside, but Jr. was Jr. and Albedo was fucking insane, so it took a LOT OF WORK to get to their ending.
EPISODE II:
Jr.: Albedo?!
Albedo: What’s with that face? You look like you just lost your best friend*, Rubedo.
Jr.: You bastard! You knew all along--
*in the Japanese version he actually says "lover" lol.
EPISODE III:
Wilhelm negotiated with Albedo, proposing to unify him with Jr. Albedo recognized his true desire and was reborn as a Testament. Albedo initially attempted to fill his role as a Testament, but instead chose to perish with Dmitri, who had merged with U-DO through Omega. He attempted to use the power of the Testament to perish with Dmitri, in order to protect Jr.; however, Gaignun took his place at the last minute, effectively fulfilling Albedo's true desire--achieving a true psychic union with Jr.
As for Gaignun, after the conflict him and Jr. were the only two (knowingly) rescued, so basically clung to each other after that, and basically grew up together to become the badass force that they are. Hell, their assumed name of Gaignun came from a cat that they both raised as kids together, so! From Gaignun's POV, however, he was born as a failsafe to Jr.'s destructive Red Dragon power, so he always felt like the odd one out/etc. So I would imagine that, since both of them tried so hard to LEAVE that past behind them, Gaignun tried that much harder to BE WITH JR. AS A FRIEND AND A BROTHER:
Gaignun: I shed that skin long ago.
Albedo: Is that so? You sure you’re not just hanging around Rubedo because you’re waiting for the chance to carry out your mission?
And in turn Jr. feeling HORRIBLE ABOUT EVERYTHING EVER tried that much harder to make it up to the one who did survive. Which is why the U.R.T.V.s' ending was bittersweet. So amazingly adorable from Albedo's/Jr.'s POV but yet so terribly heartbreaking from Gaignun's/Jr.'s.
Jr.: Nigredo! That's not true! We were friends, remember?
Gaignun: My duty to keep watch over you is over. No, I want it to be over.
(Vision turns from Gaignun to little Nigredo)
Gaignun: I'm not saying goodbye. Let's play together again sometime. Until then, take care, Rubedo, Albedo...
Shelley: I can't believe he still worried about Little Master.
Mary: Yeah, he just had to try and sound cool, even to the very end.
Shelley: Yes, but that's just like him.
So yeah. Jr. is straight, but his relationship with the U.R.T.V.s is sort of ... aha! I ship me the fuck out of U.R.T.V.cest, but I would never play it out on that level. The unsettling line-dancing levels like in canon though, I am completely chill with because that is what it is.
... AND I THINK I'M FINALLY DONE HERE.
SO. COMMENTS/QUESTIONS/"TARA YOU TYPE TOO MUCH SHUT UP"S?