White is the Color [Dormé, mature]

[pandore27]

Title: White is the Color
Author: Pandora Beardsley [pandore27]
Rating: Mature
Prompt: Padmé Amidala/Dormé: Love in a dangerous time.

Author's Note: Yes, this was supposed to be posted July 6th. I was having trouble with it, so I dropped the prompt. I was then able to go on and finish it. I think there's a lesson in there somewhere

Comments

[velvatier]

okay, i haven't read your story yet, but i really have to know if your real name is pandora beardsley. because that would be awesome. i mean, with a name like that you could have your OWN fandom. i'd join it.

[pandore27]

No, I'm afraid it's not my real name.

(Sadly, I looked it up once online, and no one, at least in the United States, has the name Pandora Beardsley. It's just one of those names that no one has nowadays outside of pen names or fiction.)

Too bad, since my real name may be unusual, but it is also boring, and not the sort that would inspire a fandom.

[emavalexis]

Wow, what a fascinating and intricate fic! I love that you told this from Dormé's point of view, the outsider looking in, if you will, at all of the activity surrounding her mistress, even getting caught in the crossfire but living to tell the tale when so many others did not. It's fittingly chilling, in a way, to consider the women that died while in service to Padmé; yet the one who really meant something to her, at least in some capacity, survived.

I really like the contemplative-but-not-maudlin tone to this story. Well done!

[pandore27]

Yes, I suppose that Dormé is an outsider of sorts, even though I never thought of it in that exact term before, since she is (along with the other handmaidens) the ultimate observer. Always there, always watching, always silent, always invisible even whilst in plain view. Then, in this story, I thrust her right into the action.

She did live through it when, as you pointed out, other women did not. It was quite important to me that no matter what dangers I put in the story that Dormé survive. But it was also important that she remember the women she knew who died, either for their duty, or because they were in the wrong place, and Amidala was in the right one, at the time.

Because it is chilling, and it could have happened to her, and even though she has chosen and accepted her place, she knows that.

Anyway, I'm glad you liked it!

[luminations]

I agree with the stuff jedi_em said. (how lazy am I?)

I've never seen anything like this before. Poor Dormé - all the handmaidens, truly... so willing to sacrifice their lives for their duty... but especially Dormé, Padmé was quite callous to her here, quite insensitive to her feelings.

Nice work!

[pandore27]

Poor Dormé, indeed.

She is so loyal, and faithful, and serves Amidala not just out of duty to senator and planet, but out of love.

And yes, Amidala can be callous at times. (There are a few points in AOTC where I just have to say that either she's rude, or just written that way.) I think it comes from having been in a position of power for so long, and being used to, basically, getting her way. But I also think that after Cordé and Versé died, she might have pushed her handmaidens away so she wouldn't be hurt as much if something happened, again, to them. It's not nice, but it is human.

[luminations]

She seemed so concerned about Corde... was she callous after that? That's an interesting theory - and very human, like you said.

[pandore27]

Well, it is only a theory (and one that will never show up in any official capacity) but it makes sense, and at explains, at least to me, why the handmaidens, who are supposed to be Amidala's confidantes and loyal, constant shadows, disappear midway through AOTC. They weren't in ROTS, except for a brief cameo, and I have a feeling, a bad feeling, they won't be in even one minute of the new Clone Wars cartoon.

Of course, it's really just because C3PO replaced them, and no, I am so not bitter about that.

Padmé was concerned about Cordé, and about Dormé. (She reassures Dorme that she'll be all right in the goodbye scene, and I think she wants to believe it.) But then, I don't think this distancing happened right away, or even consciously on Padmé's part. It was just easier for her not to get too close, especially with the new handmaidens, and having such a huge secret probably didn't help. At least, that's how it is in this story.

[ring34_ani]

A very convoluted and detailed story, I had to slow myself down in reading so that I would know who was doing and saying what. Poor Dormé, Padme was her life but was slipping away from her, not even noticing how hurt she was. A very interesting look into the lives of the handmaidens.

[pandore27]

Hopefully, it wasn't too convoluted. Though I have to admit that, for my next story, I don't think I'll do anything more complicated than two characters sitting on a couch discussing the weather.

(Just kidding. Maybe.)

Even though she didn't love Dormé, at least not in the way Dormé loved her, I think Padmé did care about her. She didn't stop caring, per se, but once she met Anakin, her focus changed. And I think it's pretty clear in the story that Dormé doesn't yet know about their secret marriage, so there is that as well.

Ultimately, even though Padmé was and is Dormé's life, Dormé was never her life.

Anyway, thanks for reading, and I'm glad you enjoyed it.

[pronker]

This lyrical story from Dorme's POV was something I'd not thought of before, and I liked the references to 'I am Naboo' and therefore pacifistic, and how someone like that could arm herself to protect the woman she loved. And the changing focus Padme had, regarding her attraction to Anakin, while Dorme was steadfast. Good story.

[pandore27]

Since I'm a pacifist, that is one of the elements I'm interested in exploring about Naboo and its characters. (Especially as I feel it is largely unexamined and undeveloped in the movies.) Dormé does believe in nonviolence, and she doesn't want to hurt anyone, but she is still human. And as you said, she is also armed and prepared, if only in the abstract, to protect the woman she both serves and loves.

And Dormé is, as her database entry on the official site, and every other biographical note says, Amidala's most devoted aide. She remains steadfast, and loving, even as she slips away from her.

Thanks for reading!