(Untitled)

[starve]

so much has happened. but i'm going to go back to my old terrible ways. tomorrow is a test. i have 10 miles of biking planned, plus band practice, plus a night of drinking to do. i'm so fucking busy, it shouldn't be hard for me to omit eating from the list.
yes yes yes i look better and i get hit on and have more energy and can find pants that will

Comments

glad you're back

[anonymous]

kind of. i mean, i know it's not good news that you're back, but i've missed reading your lj.

right after i read this, i went to get a glass of water from the staff kitchen, and this gigantic woman made herself a tea. i often wonder how it is fat people end up fat, if they eat the same things i do? well, then i see her put four huge spoonfuls of sugar into the tea.

btw, i'm 5'9" 138lb. i feel like you - too big too big.

[krackerjaxzss]

hi i ran across your entry i to know how you feel. I am recovering from Bulimia...well i gained more weight so i am not 108 anymore. i am about 123 i understand how the clothes fit better,My boyfriend met me as i was trying to get better and he always tells me i look better than i did...but i wish i could see it. i too have about 4 pairs of shorts and 2 pairs of jeans that no longer fit me at all...Buying new jeans was very scary for me. I just wanted to say hi and maybe we can be eachothers support.

Katie

[anonymous]

I tried recovery with everything I had for almost a year. I'd never felt worse about myself or such self-loathing in my entire life. i hated the flab and the jiggly-ness on myself too, just as you described.
I gladly went back to eating 600-700 calories daily. I look and feel worlds better. i don't plan on going back to purging but I do intend to stay in the 1200 or less calorie range. According to new research, some doctors and nutritionists are actually admitting our generation doesn't need as many calories as once thought anyway. Peace and goodluck.