Livejournal
Log in
Post
Friends
My journal
galaxyaway
in
starships_above
Fic: Buildings
Jul 21, 2008 21:04
Buildings
1, 042 words
(
Buildings
)
original fiction
Leave a comment
Comments 2
carrieellen
July 22 2008, 21:53:23 UTC
What is the point of capitalizing the pronouns that reference your protagonist? I don't particularly understand it, and am not sure what bearing it has on the story.
Also, where you have "The hope in his eyes were gone," it should be "was gone."
Reply
gingerpeaches
July 22 2008, 23:15:25 UTC
Here via
writers_guild
.
Interesting. The father was a god maybe? Hence the capitalization?
The pacing of this piece is off somehow. I can't quite tell you why.
Reply
Leave a comment
Up
Comments 2
Also, where you have "The hope in his eyes were gone," it should be "was gone."
Reply
Interesting. The father was a god maybe? Hence the capitalization?
The pacing of this piece is off somehow. I can't quite tell you why.
Reply
Leave a comment