Whoop, that was quick :D But you said you already finished 2 or 3 chapters, didn't you? Anyway, I love it, so far. I think you got pretty quickly to the core story, but it doesn't feel rushed or anything. I like the pace you're letting this story run on (wait, can you say that? ... anyway), as a reader you don't get distracted by unimportant or trivial stuff. Very nice. Also, we dive into the mystery already! I really love all those mental images you placed in this chapter. You know, the search for Oliver in the house, that mysterious gate leading to emptiness, that old, sinister house. I like the atmosphere you're creating! :D Haha, and it's also very Alice in Wonderland-like. I already had that impression after the first chapter but now it sort of solidified. Also... Thalia? That woman is a mystery herself. Soo... she's not exactly the good one? At least she's not full on "you must save the world from common evil!". It's an interesting dynamic between her and Gracie. Gracie can't fully trust her because she's creepy and yet she's
( ... )
Yeah, I've already got three and a half chapters written. I guess I should take my time doling them out since the others will take longer. I just got excited that someone was reading it I guess. LOL.
I'm so glad you like the pace. That was one of those things I was unsure of. I can never tell if I'm moving too quickly. Alice in Wonderland-like is exactly what I was going for! :D
Thalia is... complicated. She's got a lot going on. Not all good, but not necessarily bad either. There's a lot to her.
Ugh, thank you for catching that! Sadly at one point I noticed that error and some how still forgot to correct it! Sheesh.
Thanks so much for the long review! I hope more people read it but if not I've always got you. :) Thanks again.
OMG YAY I WAS HOPING YOU'D READ IT. I had this strange feeling you'd like Thalia. ;) Love your icon btw... I think of those pictures as the "Thalia" pictures.
I WILL POST MORE NOW BB. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU FOR READING!!
Oh yes. Billie is Thalia to a tee. I've cast most of the characters actually. Gracie is Emma Stone (only brunette of course), Billie is Thalia, David Tennant is Oliver, and Henry Cavill is Asher. I wish I had graphic skills so I could make manips of all of them. :)
Phew, finally getting around to reading the rest of this. I've been so busy it's ridiculous.
I feel like Gracie's thought process is really realistic. You don't make her jump to any convoluted conclusions or do anything completely unbelievable just for the sake of the plot. Her motivation is always clear and believable, which is good.
(That comment, on the other hand, was not very coherent.)
Thalia is still my favorite. Also, this: "She was still saved in my phone although it took me a while to find her because I'd forgotten I'd changed her name to “evil bitch” after the last fight she'd had with Oliver. Hey, no one ever accused me of being mature" made me laugh.
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Anyway, I love it, so far. I think you got pretty quickly to the core story, but it doesn't feel rushed or anything. I like the pace you're letting this story run on (wait, can you say that? ... anyway), as a reader you don't get distracted by unimportant or trivial stuff. Very nice.
Also, we dive into the mystery already! I really love all those mental images you placed in this chapter. You know, the search for Oliver in the house, that mysterious gate leading to emptiness, that old, sinister house. I like the atmosphere you're creating! :D Haha, and it's also very Alice in Wonderland-like. I already had that impression after the first chapter but now it sort of solidified. Also... Thalia? That woman is a mystery herself. Soo... she's not exactly the good one? At least she's not full on "you must save the world from common evil!". It's an interesting dynamic between her and Gracie. Gracie can't fully trust her because she's creepy and yet she's ( ... )
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I'm so glad you like the pace. That was one of those things I was unsure of. I can never tell if I'm moving too quickly. Alice in Wonderland-like is exactly what I was going for! :D
Thalia is... complicated. She's got a lot going on. Not all good, but not necessarily bad either. There's a lot to her.
Ugh, thank you for catching that! Sadly at one point I noticed that error and some how still forgot to correct it! Sheesh.
Thanks so much for the long review! I hope more people read it but if not I've always got you. :) Thanks again.
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Very. Displeased.
(THALIA !!J!K!NM!L)
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I WILL POST MORE NOW BB. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU FOR READING!!
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I feel like Gracie's thought process is really realistic. You don't make her jump to any convoluted conclusions or do anything completely unbelievable just for the sake of the plot. Her motivation is always clear and believable, which is good.
(That comment, on the other hand, was not very coherent.)
Thalia is still my favorite. Also, this: "She was still saved in my phone although it took me a while to find her because I'd forgotten I'd changed her name to “evil bitch” after the last fight she'd had with Oliver. Hey, no one ever accused me of being mature" made me laugh.
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