FIC: The Blacksmith's Son (Arthur/Gwen, PG, 7/? Part II)
Part I here
The next morning, the news of Gwen’s engagement to Lancelot is all over Camelot and Gwen spends most of the day attending to official appointments.
In the late afternoon she gets the chance to break away from it all and heads to the royal gardens. It’s been a while since she’s been able to tend to the gardens, and she revels in the task, immensely enjoying the time to herself.
Lost in thought, she goes over to the roses and examines the array of colours. She smiles when she sees them; this being her favourite part of the garden. She knows that the roses were planted by her mother and enjoys looking after something that is an extension of the woman she never got the chance to know.
She prunes the roses and every now and then she will pick out one she likes and she does not know how long she spends doing this.
“I suppose my congratulations are in order.”
Gwen jumps at the sound of the voice. Turning around, she finds Arthur standing a few feet away from her; a package in his hands.
“Arthur!” she cries in surprise. “What are you doing here?”
He doesn’t smile or greet her. Instead, he comes to stand in front of her. “I’ve come to give you this,” he tells her, handing her a long, clothed item.
“My sword?” she questions, taking it.
His gives her a ghost of a smile and nods. “I didn’t want you to forget it.” He takes out something from his pocket. “I got you this too. Consider it a wedding gift from me.”
She looks at him in puzzlement and takes the proffered item. She gasps when she sees that it is a pendant in the shape of an apple. Examining the pendant, she sees that it is a piece of metal with intricate designs all over it. Turning it over in her spare hand, she finds the word ‘Guinevere’ written there.
“Did you make this?” she inquires.
Arthur nods.
“It’s wonderful,” she enthuses. “I’ll cherish this, Arthur.”
“I’m glad.”
His expression is sombre and Gwen searches his face, trying to gage what’s wrong.
“So you decided to marry Lancelot,” he finally says.
She nods. “I’m sorry I didn’t get the chance to tell you. And yes, I know my father would have wanted me to.”
“But what do you want?” he asks.
She shrugs. “I want my father to be happy. So long as he is, I am too.”
The look he gives her suggests that he is uncertain by this.
“Lancelot may not be perfect, but I care for him a great deal,” she continues.
“If only you’d see him the way I do,” his words are wistful and she almost doesn’t hear them.
She looks at him in confusion, but he doesn’t elaborate.
She studies his face and notices his downcast gaze.
“What is it, Arthur?”
He shakes his head.
“You can tell me anything,” she implores.
“I cannot tell you this.”
She does not know what compels her to do so, but she transfers her pendant to the hand with the sword in and lifts a finger to Arthur’s chin, drawing his gaze back up. His eyes finally meet hers, and they stare on at each other; his lips drawn in a line and his eyes full of intense emotion.
She doesn’t know how long they stand like this, but finally Arthur speaks.
“I’m in love with you!” he finally blurts out.
Her finger drops from his chin. “What?”
“I’m in love with you,” he reiterates. “And damn it, I’ve been in love with you since the moment I first saw you!”
She’s shocked and speechless. Of all the things, she never expected this. “I don’t know what to say,” she eventually utters.
“I don’t expect you to say anything. I just need you to know, just this once...about how I feel.” His voice softens. “I think you’re incredible. You’re kind-hearted, good-natured, beautiful and this wonderful force that shouldn’t be reckoned with.” Voice getting quieter he says, “I thought I should tell you that, in case no one ever does.”
“Why did you never tell me this before?” she demands.
“Because it wouldn’t have mattered! I have nothing to offer you- how could you possibly feel the same?”
She says nothing to this, but she can feel an ache deep within her that she cannot identify.
“I think you’re an amazing man,” she says. “And that you’re an incredible friend.”
He shakes his head. “I want you to see me as more than just your friend.”
It’s her turn to shake her head. “I can’t.” She feels her eyes welling up.
“I know. You choose duty over your own happiness and I admire that about you. I admire so much about you.”
She looks up at him. No one has ever said words like this before to her; has ever made her feel so special. And yet, she doesn’t know how to handle this.
So she says nothing.
Instead, she watches as Arthur smiles sadly at her.
“I guess this is my goodbye to you,” he says. “I’m sorry if my words ruined your day.”
She shakes her head, but he begins to walk off.
“Arthur, wait!” she cries.
He turns to look at her.
“If the situation were different,” she begins, “you’d be at the top of the list.” And she knows her words to be true.
She watches as his eyes blaze and before she knows it, he is reaching for her; pressing his lips to hers.
She gasps in surprise as his lips touch hers and the sword in her hands drops to the floor, clanging loudly. His lips move against hers and she can taste the saltiness of tears against his lips, but she cannot tell who they belong to. This kiss isn’t sweet or one out of affection. It is a kiss full of desperation and anxiousness, regret and sorrow.
Before she knows it, he is pulling away but his eyes stay locked onto hers; raw emotion passing between them.
“Goodbye Guinevere,” Arthur speaks, but his voice is hoarse.
Before she gets the chance to say the same, he is walking off and she is left watching his retreating figure.
She collapses to her knees, grasping her fallen sword as tears fall down her face.
She’s finally identified the ache within her.
And it is heartbreak.
***
Many hours after, she sits numbly on her bed. His pendant is clasped between her palms and her fingers are intertwined together. All she can think about is the memory of his lips against hers, his raw confession and the realisation that somewhere along the way she fell in love with him too.
If only I knew this before, she thinks.
But she knows that even that couldn’t have made a difference. The two of them would never have been allowed.
Slowly, Gwen walks over to her window and waits to see if Arthur will come to practise.
But he never does.
***
Two days later, her father formally announces her engagement to Lancelot. She stands on the platform with Lancelot beside her. Her father gives a flowing speech about the joy of this union, but she does not hear a word, nor does she take in the affectionate glances Lancelot keeps throwing her way.
Instead, she pictures the life set out before her. She envisions isolation, loneliness and a man who could never possibly understand her.
And she also imagines regret.
The image of Arthur pops into her head, and instantly the feelings of content and completion follow.
She lets out a muffled sob and her father stops what he is saying to look at her.
She looks at him in lament. “I’m sorry father,” she begins. “I am not feeling well.”
And with that she rushes out of the courtroom.
***
She runs to Arthur’s workshop.
It doesn’t matter that she can’t run very well in her long, purple dress or that the rain that has begun to fall is impeding her movements. All she knows is that she’s got to get to Arthur.
She knows that they are a doomed pair. But she also knows that she doesn’t want to live without him; doesn’t want to spend the rest of her life wondering what could have happened if she chose him.
She knows that their union will have a price to pay. But whatever it is, she’ll pay.
Out of her breath and soaked to the core, she reaches the workshop, but immediately finds out that the shop is locked.
She peers through the window, only to find nobody there and lets out a cry of despair.
She rushes over to Arthur’s house and knocks frantically on the door.
But after a long while, there is no answer.
Peering through the windows, she finds the house empty.
Gwen begins to weep.
Arthur’s gone and she had no idea where to.
****
Chapter Eight
A/N: I know this is really, really mean of me to say, but I do not know when the next update will be. I’ve signed up to various fic challenges, including Camelot Love’s Christmas fic challenge and various other fic pieces, so I will have to work on those. But hopefully you won’t have to wait too long. Thanks for reading and comments greatly appreciated.