[FE8] Dance Shoes

[starlitlady]

Challenge: 19 - Family
Title: Dance Shoes
Word Count: 481
Game: Fire Emblem 8
Warnings: Spoilers for Tethys' supports.

Comments

[wolfraven80]

That was lovely. I really like your characterization of Tethys especially her awareness of her own beauty and how that contrasts with the harshness of her life at this point in time. And the last line was perfect.

There were a few typos and I can point those out if you're interested in posting this elsewhere or anything like that. Just let me know. I didn't want to bug you with it unnecessarily.

Heh. And you said you had trouble getting into character with fics-- you did a great job! :)

[starlitlady]

Aw why thanks. I wasn't really sure about how well this turned out, but thank you! :D

Also, typos? Where? *must fix typos* XD

[wolfraven80]

admire it’s shape-> its
Just the right of muscle and weight.-> missing word? The right balance?
He rubbed the sleep from his eye, -> eyes
candle light-> usually one word i.e. "candlelight"
the way her waist is drawn in-> "was" maybe instead of "is"? The tense change is sort of jarring...
Money was just as scare-> scarce

There you go. I'm afraid I'm a terrible nitpicker, which is why I'm really careful about beta-ing for people and leaving reviews. I don't want to discourage people; heaven knows I make enough mistakes as it is. ;D

[starlitlady]

Oh wow, I didn't even see those! Thank you much dear! I can only see the mistakes after I've been away from it for a while. My min fills in the blanks and mistakes. ^^;

I'm the same way. I nitpick at just about everything. Using the same word too often, will make me twitch. Lol.

*fixes* :D