The Insecurities of a New Mother
Title: New Mom Insecurities
Author: Stargirl888
Rating: K+
Length: About 800 words
Spoilers: None - Future Fic.
Summary: It’s a few hours since she gave birth, and an exhausted Santana admits her insecurities
Pairing: Santana/Brittany
A/N: This is just a really quick fic that was inspired by my aunt who gave birth a couple of weeks ago - it’s based off the first time she was allowed visitors at the hospital.
Santana winced as the child resting on her breast let out another piercing cry, alerting her that he was once again awake, though she couldn’t seem to find the energy to do more than rub the baby’s back soothingly. To say she was tired would have been the understatement of the century, she had never felt this exhausted in her entire life, and that included the torturous training session Coach Sylvester had put her through after her summer surgery. It was a mere nine hours after birth and the little ‘bundle of joy’ that the nurses had left with her, when not sleeping, had been crying almost continually, that coupled with her own exhaustion from the birthing process meant Santana was almost at the point of falling asleep despite the loud wailing that now echoed throughout the room.
Santana reluctantly opened her eyes at the sound of the hospital room door opening and blinked blearily as bright light filtered through the opening before being blotted out by a tall figure.
“Thank god!” Santana muttered gratefully as she watched her wife enter the room, though her voice was drowned by the baby. “Here, take him, please.” She begged slightly louder, somehow finding the energy to shift ever so slightly, causing her to hiss as pain ripped through her stomach where the stitches were still healing.
Brittany swooped down to immediately lift the child into her arms, cooing softly as she rocked him into a contented silence, while Santana to the opportunity to enjoy the sudden, and no doubt temporary, peace. Realising immediately what was the matter Brittany quickly went to get the changing bag from beside the bed, though when she lay the child down to change him he let out another cry, Santana just watched though half closed eyes. Working quickly she hastily changed him before picking him back up and rocking him to sleep
“There you go.” Brittany murmured softly to the sleepy baby as she managed to lay him into the cot beside the bed without evoking another crying bout.
Once she was certain the little boy was indeed asleep and not going to cry the second she moved away she turned to look at Santana, who appeared to already have joined their son in dreamland. Brittany smiled softly as love for her wife and newborn son flooded through her and quietly made her way to perch on the edge of the bed, running her fingers through dark hair and causing the Latina to shift closer and rest against the blond’s side.
“What were we thinking.” Santana murmured without opening her eyes, startling the other woman who had already thought her asleep. Brittany waited for her to go on, knowing Santana needed to get this out. “I was never the motherly type ...I don’t know what I’m doing, how to change a diaper or if he’s eaten enough. Hell, I don’t even know if I’m feeding him right. Every time I think he’s asleep he starts to cry, and the stitches pulling every time I so much as move an inch is just the cherry on top of it all.”
“Hush,” Brittany shushed her gently. “You’re exhausted and working yourself up over these things wont help. No one knows what they’re doing in the beginning.”
“You do.” Santana pointed out sulkily, her eyes still closed as she luxuriated in the feel of Brittany’s fingers swirling through her hair.
“No I don’t,” Brittany refuted, “Not really anyway. I have a younger sister, so sure I remember how to change a diaper, and rocking him to sleep is not that hard after a few hours of sleep, but the other things; raising a child; making sure he’s happy and all his needs are being met, those were the things my mom worried about, so trust me, I’m just as lost as you in this.” Though, despite her words, her tone held none of the hopelessness Santana felt.
Santana moaned lowly, unable to think clearly enough to verbalise her unhappiness s she slowly rolled over and lay with her back to Brittany, ignoring the pain in her mid section.
“But we’re going to learn,” Brittany consoled, laying her hand on her wife’s shoulder and leaning over to kiss her cheek. “Just like the billions of new mothers before us we’re going to learn. We’ll read all those parenting books, go to classes if we have to, and find out all those things we need to know. But before we do any of that you have to get some sleep. I’m going be here for the next two hours until visiting hours end, so I’ll watch Jayden for that time, you just rest and I guarantee things will not seem so bleak when you wake up.”
Santana nodded once, allowing the blonds words to reassure her and finally letting sleep to take her.