Of Secrets Revealed
Title: Of Secrets Revealed
Author: Stargirl888
Word Count: About 2700
Spoilers: None
Pairing: Santana/Brittany
Rating: NC-17
WARNINGS: Contains Spanking and Domestic Discipline
Summary: Learning Lessons Verse: A step back in time to the first time Santana and Brittany Switched
A/N: So so much for delay because of exams, lol. I’m restructuring this verse and changing how I’m posting it. The main reasons I made this a verse and not a multi-chaptered fic was because I wasn’t planning on posting in any form of consecutive order, and just doing random fics in the same universe but I’ve changed my mind since I’ve decided to build a story around the lead up to a poly, faberritana relationship. There will still be stand alone fics in this verse, such as this one, however instalments that follow each other and involve the main storyline at the moment (namely the build towards Faberrittana) I’m going to start posting as part of a multi-chaptered fic and since A Surprisingly Tame Argument was the first of that build up I’m going to rename it as Chapter 1 of “Learning Lessons: The Road to Faberrittana.” And will be adding new chapters to that as the whole thing progresses. Hopefully that makes sense
As always, I look forward to your thoughts, questions and suggestions so please take a moment to comment when you’re done :)
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“I can’t believe you told them.” Santana hissed angrily as she stormed into the empty locker room, barely managing to keep her voice down while Brittany trailed in behind her.
“San, I’m sorry.” Brittany pleaded, tears already forming in her eyes as Santana spun to face her, Brittany had seen Santana with that expression many times before, the anger in her face trying to hide the hurt in her eyes, but this was the first time it was directed at her.
“I know we were fighting at the time, but I didn’t think you’d stoop so low so as to share things I told you in private with those...vultures.” She waved vaguely towards the door through which a picture of the Cheerios winning nationals was visible hanging on the opposite wall “You know they’re all just waiting to stab me in the back.”
“San, I never meant to hurt you.” Brittany begged as she moved to catch the Latinas hands in halt her pacing, but Santana just pulled away.
“Really? You thought that I’d be thrilled to have my secrets passed along the grapevine. That I’d thank you for telling them?”
“I was angry and they were just there.” Brittany tried to explain, guilt twisting in her stomach.
“And when we got over that fight? You didn’t think it may have been a good idea to warn me that they may use this against me?”
“The second I realised what I had said I begged them not to tell anyone and they assured me they wouldn’t .” Santana just stared at her incredulously, not believing anyone could be that nieve. “I didn’t believe them, but when no one said anything and days past I began to think they’d forgotten.”
Taking a deep breath to stop herself saying something she’d regret, Santana brushed past Brittany to get to the door.
“San, please don’t break up with me.” The soft defeated voice stopped Santana in her tracks and she turned back to the blond again, letting out a shaky breath.
“I’m not going to break up with you.” She murmured lowly, before slowly leaving the room and Brittany knew better than to follow.
Santana had lain awake for a long time that night thinking things over and the next morning she met Brittany at her locker before class like they usually did. Brittany looked tired and Santana knew she had probably also been up half the night worrying.
They had greeted each other quietly and Santana then struck up a conversation about math homework as Quinn joined them. It was as if the previous day had never happened and things appeared to go back to normal. Brittany knew Santana had forgiven her and was trying to move on but the blond dancer still felt the guilt for what she had done sitting in the pit of her stomach and she couldn’t seem to shake it.
After a week of gifts, love notes and other little shows of affection for the fiery latina that did nothing to relieve Brittanys guilt she could only think of one other thing to try, and so, that Saturday afternoon when she was over at Santana’s and they had the house to themselves Brittany decided to raise the topic.
“San,” she murmured without moving from where she was lying half on top of the brunette as the credits for the movie they had been watching began to roll on the screen “I really am sorry for what I told Mandy and them.”
Thanks to their close proximity Brittany could feel Santana’s breath catch at her words. “I know B and I’ve told you I forgive you, so let’s just move on.”
“I can’t Santana.” Brittany sat up so she could face her girlfriend properly. “Every time someone makes a snide remark about it and I see your face, I can’t help but still feel bad, more so because I know you have honestly forgiven me.”
“What do you want me to do about that?” Santana asked irritably, not liking the reminder of all the teasing she’d been getting this last week. She was only grateful it hadn’t spread out of the squad. “I can’t stop the remarks, not yet anyway.”
“I want you to punish me, Santana.” Brittany said clearly, trying to stop herself loosing the confidence she had built up to say that as Santana just frowned in confusion. “I think that the reason i still feel so guilty is because there were never any real consequences for me. You’ve been the one receiving the consequences and that’s not fair.”
“Life’s not fair Britt.”
“I know, but you weren’t even mad at me for more than a few hours and I just think that maybe if I felt like I’d done some form of penance for revealing your secret then maybe I could move past it.”
Santana was already shaking her head. “I don’t see how I can help you with that. If you want penance go to a priest.” Santana replied quickly, trying to stop the conversation in it’s tracks but Brittany’s irritated huff told her it wouldn’t work. “What would you have me do? Spank you?”
“That’s up to you but it was what I had in mind.”
“Brit, you know how I feel about you getting upset, you can’t ask me to be the cause of it.” Santana half pleaded and Brittany was surprised to find herself getting annoyed.
“You ask it of me.” She retorted quickly
“It’s not the same.” Santana argued.
“How is it not the same? I know you Santana, you trust me to be there to stop you from doing something you’d regret and to make sure you face up to a situation where you’re in the wrong. When I don’t you only lash out more. You may not have been the one to suggest it, but your behaviour asks me to do it just as much as my words are now asking you. Do you think I enjoy punishing you? That I find it fun to spank you for punishment when you’re crying and begging me to stop? It’s just as hard for me as it’ll be for you, and you know that even when I try to hind it because I don’t want to put my reluctance on you too. I still do punish you though because I know it’s what you need and this is something I need too, San.” Santana met Brittany gaze and could see the conviction behind those blue eyes, but she still didn’t think she could bring herself to do it. Sensing this Brittany sighed but decided to give her time. “Can you at least think about it?”
Santana let out a heavy sigh. “Okay.”
They said no more about it that afternoon. The next morning though, Brittany got a text.
K, I’ll do it. Can you come over @ 9? Parents will b @ church. Xoxo S
Glancing at the clock Brittany saw she only had half an hour to get ready and quickly sprung into action, swallowing the butterflies in her stomach.
In her nervous rush she still managed to arrive at Santana’s place a whole ten minutes early, pulling into their driveway as the other Lopez’s were pulling out.
Santana greeted her girlfriend at the door with a supportive hug, noticing Brittany had decided to go for a skirt as opposed to her preference of shorts.
“You’re early.” Santana observed as they entered the house, pausing in the entry way to meet her girlfriends piercing blue eyes. “I’m only going to ask this of you once. Are you sure you want to go through with this?” Brittany didn’t miss the way Santana’s eyes were practically pleading with her to say no, nor the way the butterflies in her stomach suddenly gained more energy. A part of her was ready to back down and change her mind but she knew she couldn’t, not just because she felt she needed this but also because, even though Santana would never admit it, she knew she’d loose some of the latina’s respect by shirking deserved consequences that she herself had asked for.
“Yes, I’m sure.” Brittany watched Santana’s gaze harden with determination.
“Okay. Lets do this in my bedroom then.”
Once they were upstairs Santana shut her door and went to sit on the bed.
“Come get into position over my lap.” Santana ordered and Brittany did so, finding the unfamiliar position was making her feel more vunerable than she had expected, though not physically uncomfortable.
Taking a deep breath, Santana quickly flipped up her skirt and tugged down her panties. The cool air causing Brittany’s skin to break out in goose bumps and Santana’s heart was thundering in her chest as she looked down at her girlfriend. Lightly resting her hand on Brittanys bottom she realised the girls whole body was tense.
“Britt,” the word came out as a whisper and Santana cleared her throat and tried again “Britt, you need to relax.”
Brittany let out the breath she unconsciously been holding at the sound of Santana’s voice. Its just San, she reminded herself as Santana began to lightly rub her backside, silently coaxing her to relax her muscles.
Santana waited patiently, quite willing to delay the inevitable as long as possible. Slowly she changed from rubbing to light pats. Making the pats increasingly harder, Santana eased Brittany into her first spanking while at the same time working herself up to deliver actual smacks. Brittany had never felt closer to Santana than in that moment. Santana’s reluctance was palpable and Brittany was in awe over the fact that Santana loved her enough to do this; it was almost enough to distract her from the way the smacks becoming hard enough to actually sting.
Santana knew what Brittany had meant when she said she needed to be punished in order to feel absolved, she knew the relief of a clean slate after a spanking but it didn’t make it any easier for her to do this. When Brittany’s bottom was a light pink and Santana had convinced herself she was ready for the next bit, she stopped spanking.
“Tell me why you need to be punished?” Santana asked.
“Because...” Brittany paused, surprised by how hard it was for her to admit this, and how now, after everything Santana was doing for her, the guilt was ten times worse than before. She briefly wondered if she was wrong and the whole situation would only make her feel even worse about everything but was distracted from that thought when Santana gave her a sharper smack to help her along “Because I betrayed your trust.” Santana felt like her heart had stopped at those words. They had both known that was what Brittany had done but neither had actually said so. Santana felt the resolve she had found during the night increase.
“How?”
“By telling Mandy and Jill and Cassidy of your insecurities about your body.”
Santana began spanking quick and hard, it was still just as painful for Santana to deliver the punishment but her conviction that she was doing the right thing had been strengthened by her girlfriends own admissions. Brittany for her part was shocked by the unexpected intensity and no longer had the time to consider what Santana must have been feeling as her thoughts were consumed by the fire that was now ignited in her rear. She hadn’t even realised she was squirming about until she felt Santana’s arm encircle her waist to restrict her somewhat. Suddenly it all became overwhelming; the physical pain merging with guilt of what she had done and tears began to flow. Santana felt Brittany go limp and stopped immediately; knowing Brittany had reached her limit.
Santana allowed herself to be relieved for a moment that that was over as she took in Brittanys sobbing form. Used to being the one in need of comfort, Santana was unsure what to do in this situation so she settled for copying what Brittany would normally do for her and began rubbing soothing circles on her back and murmuring soft I love you’s as Brittany’s crying slowly calmed.
“You can get up now.” Santana murmured, though she dreaded having to look at the blonds face and see the tear tracks, knowing she was the cause. Brittany slowly climbed off her lap and was shocked to realise how vunerable and raw she was feeling though when she looked into Santana’s eyes as the latina also rose to her feet she realised she wasn’t the only one. Santana was terrified that Brittany would hate her for what she had just done.
“Thank you.” Brittany said sincerely, feeling lighter than she had in a long while and Santana searched her gaze for any signs of resentment but all she could find was a loving calm in those clear blue eyes. Brittany enveloped Santana into an hug which they both melted into, taking refuge in each others arms. “Thank you for doing this,” Brittany repeated as she pulled away a couple of minutes later. “do you think we could just sit for a few minutes?” Brittany could feel she wasn’t quite ready to face the world again yet, needing a few more moments to collect herself and process everything in her own head.
“Sure,” Santana agreed “though sitting may not be the best idea.”
They settled for lying on their sides with Brittany spooning Santana from behind. Santana allowing herself to relax into the protective embrace as Brittany the cleansing peacefulness she now felt, content to hold on to the feeling for as long as it would last.
After relaxing for a good ten minutes, Brittany felt Santana shift in her arms.
“Stand up?” Santana requested quietly and Brittany reluctantly did so, not wanting to leave their cosy bubble just yet. Rolling over, Brittany gingerly climbed to her feet, surprised by how dry her spanked skin felt. Once Brittany was standing, Santana immediately dropped to her knees, head level with the juncture between the blonds thighs. Brittany’s hands immediately went to run through Santana’s hair, although her face hid none of her surprise.
“San?” Brittany asked questioningly, knowing Santana generally disliked this position, claiming she found it demeaning, and normally would only go down on Brittany if she was lying on the bed.
“Just, let me do this?” Santana asked as she looked up at the blond. Santana couldn’t even completely explain to herself why she needed to do this, just that she needed to restore the balance somehow. Brittany nodded her okay, spreading her legs as Santana tucked her skirt up and wrapped her arms around her upper thighs.
Licking, nibbling and sucking, It didn’t take long for Santana to get Brittany worked up. A final flick of the tongue pushed Brittany over the edge and once she had licked up all the juices Santana stood back up.
“We okay?” Santana asked. Brittany wanted to say that they were okay before Santana went down on her but she understood it was something the tan girl had felt she needed to do restore the equilibrium of their relationship, so instead she just nodded and gave Santana a quick, light kiss.
“We’re okay.”
-0-0-0-
AN2: I meant for this to focus more on Santana’s reluctance than anything else but I don’t think that happened, still I was rather happy with how this came out. Sorry the sex part was so short and undetailed - I find writing descriptions of oral difficult, promise the later sex scenes will be better.
Just in case anyone is wondering why Santana would need to sort of re-enter her sub space afterwards (this was why she was going down on Britt), when I always say that Brittany and Santana are fairly equal in their general relationship, with Britt only being slightly more dominant, it is because I think that in the beginning, before they started switching, Britt was more dominant than she is now (though not quite as much as Quinn is because I don’t think it generally extended to their sex life). The introduction of the switching aspect to their relationship, caused it to evolve and change which evened things out between the pair. This also kind of explains why Brittany still comes across as more dominant that Santana at times. Hopefully that makes realistic sense.
As always questions and issues are welcomed and comments, thoughts, ideas and suggestions appreciated!