Uncharted Shores, 3/4
Uncharted Shores, 3/4
Relevant meta info in Part 1
Part 1
Part 2
John caught Teyla for a moment before she headed upstairs to tend to Lady Katherine and whispered a few words to her. She looked somewhat surprised, but nodded and left him alone with Captain Lorne.
When the party from Atlantis had arrived, Beckett had hurried off to settle Kate first. John had returned to helping with the two little boys from Hoff who were seriously ill. Perna, thankfully, had taken Jonas Quinn with her to collect the other healers to report to Beckett. John could not help his irritation with the man, but he had pushed it aside and concentrated on the problem before him.
Beckett had appeared shortly thereafter, saying only that Kate did not seem to be in immediate danger, and that Lorne was looking after her. John had not seen Beckett at work before, and the man was a force of nature when confronting a problem such as this fever. He was soon barking orders and asking questions until John felt himself more in the way than helping. At that point, he decided to check on Kate.
John had admired the fair-haired woman since his arrival. She seemed the only lady in the realm whose purpose in life was not pricking the egos of the men around her. John had also noted the subtle way Kate and Laura both positioned themselves between their queen and any strangers. He felt a strong need to ensure Kate was not seriously harmed, and those were the only reasons he allowed himself.
So finding the lady undressed and standing quite close with Captain Lorne, who was similarly unattired, had raised the hackles on the back of his neck. She did not act as if anything was happening against her will, though, and he knew too little of the customs of the court, not to mention the relationships between these people, to speak to her directly.
Lorne, however, was another matter. John folded his arms across his chest and stared. The captain was only a few years younger than himself, but John drew on all those years and his greater height to convey his suspicion. "Is there a need for me to ask what was going on in there?"
Lorne whipped around, anger radiating from him. That alone was almost sufficient to assuage John's fears, but the flush on Lorne's cheeks worried him. The other man's voice was tight. "You dare suggest-" he choked out.
"Captain, if you were any other man, you would be dead already," John cut him off. "However, in the past you have shown yourself to be an honorable man of excellent conduct. The queen has entrusted her safety and the safety of her ladies to you and I trust her Majesty's judgment. That is why I am only asking if there is a need for me to ask."
Lorne paused a moment. "I would give my life before I would allow anyone to dishonor Lady Katherine, or harm her in any way."
John noted Lorne was not denying anything outright. He had a strange feeling that he had stumbled upon something too complicated for him to penetrate. However, his primary concern was with Kate's safety, and it was impossible to doubt Lorne's sincerity on that score, so he nodded shortly. "Good." Unable to resist, he added, "I would recommend that you be a little more circumspect in your... clandestine meetings."
Lorne looked offended, but then his face relaxed in a dangerous fashion. "I'm certain her Majesty will be relieved that Sir John has finally concluded to trust her judgment."
It was John's turn to glare. "That is not your business, Captain."
"You lied to my queen and exposed her to great difficulty with her own people, not to mention caused her a great deal of distress. Her well-being is my responsibility, Sir John, and with me that goes beyond her mere physical safety," Lorne snapped back.
John flinched. "I have kept myself from Atlantis to try to spare her more pain. What else was I to do? Whatever you believe of me, I knew what I was promising when I swore my loyalty to her, which meant I could not simply disappear from Atalan without her consent." He drew in a deep breath and tried to calm himself. His concern for Elizabeth's well-being warred with his own pride and the former quickly won the battle. "Lady Teyla has told me that the college of lords is quieting on the subject," he said hesitantly.
Lorne shrugged, going to the table and pouring himself some of the tea Teyla had brewed. "The gossip has begun to die down. Whether any more serious questions about her ability to rule are raised will depend on what happens when the next crisis arrives, whatever it may be."
John nodded. A ruler was usually judged by his most recent acts, for better or worse. There was nothing for Elizabeth or her advisors to do but hope, and wait. His attention shifted to something else. "You said... you said she was distressed?" he asked, feeling foolish.
Lorne looked at him coolly. "Her trust was abused, and by the man to whom she feels she owes her life. How would you expect her to react?"
Guilt tore at him. "She is doubting herself." Lorne's silence was all the agreement he received but John knew he was right. "That is not right. It was not her fault-"
"Her Majesty is prone to introspection," Lorne reminded him. "She is usually extremely careful when allowing her feelings to be seen by strangers." John had guessed as much. "I believe she would feel more confident if she could be certain her trust in you was not misplaced."
John twitched, but Lorne had a fair point. Did that mean he should return to the palace unasked and seek her out?
Before he could ask any further questions, the door opened and Beckett came in. John was forced to turn his attention to helping the doctor with plans to care for the sick.
Kate was both relieved and irritated when both men left her alone with her thoughts. It had not been difficult to affect a calm, if stern, façade when Sir John had barged unannounced into her room. Living in a royal court and being the companion to a future queen had allowed for no less.
But now that she was alone, Kate was very much aware of how her nerves were still tingling. She shivered and pulled the blankets around her more tightly. Her fall into the sea had to be the source of her most unseemly and irrational behavior. At least, that was what she could claim if someone ever found out what had occurred, she thought pragmatically. A brush with death was enough to throw even the most steady person off balance. And the fever that had followed her plunge into the icy waters was more than enough to explain her moment of weakness.
In her heart, though, she knew none of those things were true.
A light knock on the door interrupted her thoughts and Kate looked up. "Come in."
The door opened to reveal Lady Teyla, who was carrying a small tray with two simply decorated teacups and a matching, steaming pot, as well as a doeskin bag whose straps hung on her right arm. Her eyes swept the room quickly, taking in the blankets still on the floor, but she smiled and asked, "Kate, how are you feeling?"
Kate stood up somewhat unsteadily. "I am much better, thank you, Teyla," she replied. Out of habit, she stepped forward to take the tray out of her friend's hands, but Teyla shook her head and moved toward the table by the room's single window.
After setting the tray down, she turned back to her. "I brought you a change of clothes, since I fear it will be some hours yet before your clothes are dry enough to be worn." She held out the bag.
"Thank you," Kate said, taking it. She moved over behind the small screen in the corner. Opening the bag, she found a plain but practical dress, a warm shawl, and, perhaps most importantly, dry undergarments.
"I was not aware you were so interested in swimming," Teyla called cheekily from the other side.
Kate rolled her eyes as she removed her still-damp underclothes and slipped gratefully into the dry garments. "Neither was I," she shot back. "And if I was, I most certainly would not begin to explore my interest on such a day as this."
She heard Teyla laugh and once she was dressed, Kate joined her at the table. She took one of the teacups offered by Teyla and sipped from it. There was a comfortable silence between the two women until Kate looked up and found Teyla studying her closely. The emotion in her eyes made Kate stiffen briefly, and then she sighed.
"I suppose," she said tiredly, "Sir John has made you aware of what he walked in on."
Teyla set her cup down. "He said only that you might need to talk to someone not from the palace," she clarified. "I already knew that Doctor Beckett sent you up here with Captain Lorne." She smiled. "I am not so simple-minded that I did not know what he meant when he said you were up here to 'warm up.'"
Kate felt her cheeks heat. "He would never even think of dishonoring me or any other lady," she burst out defensively. "Marcus was in that position for the sake of my own health and safety, and with the sanction of Doctor Beckett."
"I never said anything about him dishonoring you or any other lady," Teyla said serenely, her lips twitching in amusement.
Kate scowled, but soon realized she was more annoyed with herself than with Teyla's teasing. She knew the rumors about Marcus Lorne as well as any other woman in the court would, and she knew enough about the world to understand what normally happened when a man undressed a woman, whether with her consent or without it.
In the space of a few minutes she had gone from believing that there was nothing about herself which was pleasing to his eyes to knowing the absolute force of his desire for her. She had allowed him - no, encouraged him - to touch her as no other man had, and part of her felt a deep shame for behaving so wantonly. But at the same time, Kate knew that had it not been for his remarkable show of restraint, she would have let him have his way with her, and would likely have relished every moment. The whole encounter had been a surfeit of contradictions: shame and shamelessness, heartbreak and hope, pain and pleasure.
She had never felt so confused in her life, but so long as she was unsure of her own footing she knew one thing for certain. "There is no need to inform her Majesty of this yet," she said slowly.
Teyla held her gaze, her expression growing serious. "I will say nothing, of course. It is your business, Kate, but I suggest that you tell the queen what she needs to know. Keeping secrets can cause all sorts of problems, both for her and for you."
Kate winced. That piece of advice resonated with her unpleasantly, and she found herself feeling strangely sympathetic for John now. It seemed that that counsel was easier to give than to receive.
"Also," Teyla continued, "I cannot control what Sir John might say to the queen, when he eventually returns to Atlantis." She looked across the table at Kate pointedly. "And you know Elizabeth's ire against him will not last forever. They will speak to one another again. It is best that she hear it from you, and not from another."
Again, words so like her own to Sir John the month before. Kate inhaled sharply and finally looked away. "I understand that," she said softly.
The other woman took pity upon her and reached across the table, touching her hand gently. "Kate," she spoke reassuringly, "Captain Lorne would not give his affections lightly. If you are certain of his regard for you and yours for him, then you have nothing to fear from her Majesty."
It was not the queen Kate was concerned about, but she admitted, "I know, but there is much more at stake."
Teyla smiled, a tinge of what Kate thought might be sadness flitting across her face. "Is that not often the case?" she asked. The two sat in silence until Teyla sat her cup down and stood up. "Come," she said, gesturing for Kate to rise, "you still run the risk of becoming seriously ill. You need to continue to rest. And this time, you can rest in a bed, which I am sure is much more comfortable than lying on the floor by the fire."
Kate thought briefly to protest, recalling her purpose for being in Athos in the first place, but as she stood up, a wave of dizziness cut off all thoughts of doing anything other than what Teyla instructed her to do. She took Teyla's hand and let the other woman lead her over to the bed.
Lying down, Kate felt her eyes begin to drift shut. As consciousness slowly left her, she wondered briefly why Teyla had looked wistful only a few moments before, but the thought quickly left her as shadowy dreams invaded her exhausted mind.
The sound of people sniffling had become so normal that Carson Beckett hardly noticed it anymore. He walked among the beds arranged in the large hall, checking on his patients. Most of the adults had mild or moderate cases, but with the proper medicines and time to recuperate without straining themselves, he believed they would recover. However, a number of children had also contracted the disease and their cases were much more troubling.
Only a few of his young patients were from Athos itself, meaning the rest of them were Hoffan refugees. Carson had examined many of these children when they had been brought to Atlantis and had noted that many had signs of malnourishment, a condition stemming from something other than the trauma of the Wraith attack. The last few weeks had left them ripe for attracting disease. And that, the doctor thought grimly, was what had happened. He looked down at the small girl who lay before him. Her eyes were closed as she tried to sleep, but her tiny face was pinched as she began to cough. Even though only semiconscious, her little fist came up to cover her mouth.
Carson quickly knelt down beside the bed and pulled her up as her coughs turned to convulsions. "There, there, lass," he murmured softly, stroking her back. "Just let it out. Don't fight it."
After several moments which must have been agonizing, her coughing eased and she slumped back onto the bed and looked up at him with brown eyes bleary from exhaustion.
"Tired…" she whispered.
"I know, love," he crooned sympathetically. "Let's get some medicine in you that will help you to get some real sleep."
She wrinkled her nose like most children did when told they had to take a vile-tasting tonic, and Carson smiled slightly. She looked like one of his sisters had when they were children. He reached down into his bag and began to rummage through. As he did so, he asked, "What is your name, little one?"
"Mina," the child replied quietly, her voice trembling. Carson glanced at her and saw that she was doing her utmost to suppress another coughing fit. He quickly took out the correct bottle as well as a spoon.
"Here, Miss Mina," he said reassuringly, "take this. It will help with that cough of yours." She looked so miserable that she did not offer him any arguments, simply opened her mouth obediently.
He put the spoon into her mouth and she closed her lips around it, taking the medicine and swallowing it. Mina started slightly when she did so, apparently noticing the lack of foul taste. Carson laughed at her expression.
"Yes," he told her, "it doesn't taste so bad, does it?" He had made this particular tonic especially for children. If they were given medicine that did not taste revolting, then they would not fight it and therefore its effects so much.
Mina leaned back after a moment, her head hitting her pillow gently as she looked up at him. "You were at the palace."
He nodded. "Indeed. I am a doctor and I normally take care of the queen. When she heard that her friends here in Athos were becoming ill, she sent me and one of her ladies to help as best we could."
The little girl nodded, her eyes beginning to drift shut. "I met the queen," she murmured softly. "She ate dinner with us and held me for a while. She was very pretty."
"Yes, the queen is very pretty," Carson agreed. He was more partial to Laura's fairer complexion himself, but he did not say so out loud. He doubted the child would even notice if he did, and thinking of Laura only reminded him of their quarrel, and he could do nothing to fix that situation just now. "I shall pass on the compliment to her when I return."
Mina hummed slightly in response, but did not offer any coherent reply as she finally drifted off to sleep. Slowly, Carson stood and gathered his things, intending to clean the spoon he had used and continue to do his rounds with the patients. As he turned to leave, he spotted Mistress Perna watching him from a few feet away, at the foot of another bed. He had spoken with her upon arriving in the village. He remembered her well from the period when the Hoffan refugees were in Atlantis. Trained as a nurse and midwife, she had become one of the leaders of the Hoffans after the Wraith attack, responsible for gathering them and seeing that their needs were met. He was unsurprised that when this illness arrived, she had again taken the lead in directing the response.
He nodded cordially as she fell in step with him.
"You are a fine hand with children, sir. Mina is a particularly stubborn girl when it comes to taking any sort of medicine."
Carson smiled and glanced over at the sleeping child. "I don't think she really had the energy to fight me on taking her medicine. But I had mixed the medicine to make it more palatable and thus easier to dispense."
"Truly?" she asked curiously. Then she looked slightly embarrassed at her enthusiasm. After a moment, she continued, "Thank you for coming here to help us. Once again, we are in her Majesty's debt."
"The queen only wishes to see her people happy and healthy," he assured her. "She would not dream of holding you indebted to her."
"But we are nonetheless," Perna maintained. "We of Hoff will not forget Queen Elizabeth's great kindness to us." Carson pressed her hand for a moment, seeing the flicker of pain in her eyes at the mention of the decimated village. She recovered quickly, though. "When you have a moment, perhaps you could describe this tonic and its components? I imagine being able to offset the taste of some of these brews could prove quite helpful."
He was deeply tired, having already been overworked before this crisis. But it would be a nice change to speak of his work to someone who was genuinely interested. "Of course, mistress," he said graciously. "Though I would appreciate something to eat if that would not trouble you."
She smiled, and Carson followed her to the kitchen of a nearby cottage. He spent a pleasant hour with Perna, chatting about various remedies, until he felt it necessary to look in on his young patients again.
As Laura was assisting the queen in undressing for bed, Elizabeth observed, "It seems strangely quiet without Kate, does it not? Yet she is hardly what I would call a noisy person."
That last was said with a small grin, and Laura glared, knowing full well which of them Elizabeth would have considered noisy.
The queen began to cough again, and Laura hastened to put on her nightgown so she could take her last dose of tonic and sleep. But Elizabeth was staring at her fixedly. "You have been quiet today."
Laura sighed. She didn't particularly wish to admit her behavior this morning. It had been excessive and foolish and the product of so much strain in the last few months. Though she also felt there was something underlying the argument that needed to be sussed out. Urging Elizabeth to the bed, she evaded, "Carson and I had a disagreement this morning before he left. That's all."
"About what?" Elizabeth settled into her bed and took her medicine, then reached to help Laura unfasten the back of her own gown.
"I had asked him to go with me to meet with some of the craftsmen, but he was quite busy this morning."
"That caused a disagreement?" Elizabeth asked skeptically.
Laura wrestled with her gown and corset. "It was more than that." Elizabeth merely waited as Laura changed her clothing. Finally, she sat down in the bed and tucked her feet under the covers. "Much of the responsibility for planning the wedding is falling on my shoulders. I know that traditionally it is the woman's province to care for such things, but I believe anyone who knows me would realize I have little interest in fabrics and fashions."
The queen smiled a little, for it was the truth. "And in particular you expected Carson to know such things."
"Should not my husband of all people be aware of my likes and dislikes?" Laura burst out. "I cannot help but wonder if he knows me at all. If he is so ignorant of such a simple thing..." she trailed off for a moment as clarity descended. "What about after we are married? When we have children? He seems to expect that I can yield my time more readily than he can because he waits on life and death, but my duties are important as well."
Elizabeth rubbed her arm gently. "I do not disagree with you in principle, Laura, but you must know there will be times when life is in the balance and Carson will be summoned away."
"Yes, but what if such a thing occurs while you need me?" Laura asked stubbornly.
The queen shrugged. "I expect once any of us begins bearing our children the palace will be well stocked with nurses and nannies for each offspring," she said dryly.
Laura nodded, looking down at her knees, which were folded up under her chin. Her true fear came out in a whisper. "What if he expects something from me that I cannot give him?"
Elizabeth did not answer right away. After a silence, she asked, "When did you first realize Carson had feelings for you?"
It seemed an odd question, but Laura remembered the moment clearly. "It was in the early spring, not long after that big storm had passed, the one that struck down those trees in the south gardens." Her cheeks flushed slightly. "We were passing one another in the corridor, both of us too tired to do much more than nod. But he reached out and took my hand just briefly, and I knew there was more between us than I had understood before."
There was an arrested expression on Elizabeth's face for a moment, but then she shook herself. "So, Carson had known you for over two years by that point?"
"Yes," Laura sulked a little, understanding where Elizabeth was going.
"Then it seems reasonable that he is under no illusions about you or what to expect or not expect from you after so much time."
Laura laid herself down on the pillows. "I suppose."
"He is a good man, Laura. And he would not give his heart or pledge himself lightly."
She sighed and closed her eyes. "We should have eloped," she grumped.
Elizabeth chuckled, which turned into another cough. When that had subsided, Elizabeth rested her cheek on her hand and looked curious. "When did you realize you cared for Carson?"
Pulling the blankets up to her chin, Laura thought back. "At first I only thought him handsome and kind. In fact, I thought he would be interested in Kate when he first came to court. They seemed more suited to one another." She looked up at the ceiling, slightly abashed at what she was saying. "There have been few people in my life whom I felt I could truly trust. Aside from yourself and Kate, Carson was one of them. Last winter I began to notice his..." She smiled a little wickedly. "Virtues anew. So I kissed him."
Elizabeth giggled. "That is a night I will not soon forget. You were half-exultant, half-terrified when you returned. And you wasted no time telling us precisely what you had been up to."
"I was bound by honor to share with my lady and my friend my experiences, that they might benefit," Laura huffed with mock-arrogance.
Elizabeth rolled her eyes even as she yawned. Laura subsided, thinking it high time the queen rest, but Elizabeth murmured lowly, "So you let love follow friendship as well."
Laura was unsure what prompted that observation, but before she could ask, Elizabeth fell asleep. She curled up herself, considering Carson and their courtship for a while, wondering what she could do to remedy the situation when he returned.
Relevant meta info in Part 1
Part 1
Part 2
John caught Teyla for a moment before she headed upstairs to tend to Lady Katherine and whispered a few words to her. She looked somewhat surprised, but nodded and left him alone with Captain Lorne.
When the party from Atlantis had arrived, Beckett had hurried off to settle Kate first. John had returned to helping with the two little boys from Hoff who were seriously ill. Perna, thankfully, had taken Jonas Quinn with her to collect the other healers to report to Beckett. John could not help his irritation with the man, but he had pushed it aside and concentrated on the problem before him.
Beckett had appeared shortly thereafter, saying only that Kate did not seem to be in immediate danger, and that Lorne was looking after her. John had not seen Beckett at work before, and the man was a force of nature when confronting a problem such as this fever. He was soon barking orders and asking questions until John felt himself more in the way than helping. At that point, he decided to check on Kate.
John had admired the fair-haired woman since his arrival. She seemed the only lady in the realm whose purpose in life was not pricking the egos of the men around her. John had also noted the subtle way Kate and Laura both positioned themselves between their queen and any strangers. He felt a strong need to ensure Kate was not seriously harmed, and those were the only reasons he allowed himself.
So finding the lady undressed and standing quite close with Captain Lorne, who was similarly unattired, had raised the hackles on the back of his neck. She did not act as if anything was happening against her will, though, and he knew too little of the customs of the court, not to mention the relationships between these people, to speak to her directly.
Lorne, however, was another matter. John folded his arms across his chest and stared. The captain was only a few years younger than himself, but John drew on all those years and his greater height to convey his suspicion. "Is there a need for me to ask what was going on in there?"
Lorne whipped around, anger radiating from him. That alone was almost sufficient to assuage John's fears, but the flush on Lorne's cheeks worried him. The other man's voice was tight. "You dare suggest-" he choked out.
"Captain, if you were any other man, you would be dead already," John cut him off. "However, in the past you have shown yourself to be an honorable man of excellent conduct. The queen has entrusted her safety and the safety of her ladies to you and I trust her Majesty's judgment. That is why I am only asking if there is a need for me to ask."
Lorne paused a moment. "I would give my life before I would allow anyone to dishonor Lady Katherine, or harm her in any way."
John noted Lorne was not denying anything outright. He had a strange feeling that he had stumbled upon something too complicated for him to penetrate. However, his primary concern was with Kate's safety, and it was impossible to doubt Lorne's sincerity on that score, so he nodded shortly. "Good." Unable to resist, he added, "I would recommend that you be a little more circumspect in your... clandestine meetings."
Lorne looked offended, but then his face relaxed in a dangerous fashion. "I'm certain her Majesty will be relieved that Sir John has finally concluded to trust her judgment."
It was John's turn to glare. "That is not your business, Captain."
"You lied to my queen and exposed her to great difficulty with her own people, not to mention caused her a great deal of distress. Her well-being is my responsibility, Sir John, and with me that goes beyond her mere physical safety," Lorne snapped back.
John flinched. "I have kept myself from Atlantis to try to spare her more pain. What else was I to do? Whatever you believe of me, I knew what I was promising when I swore my loyalty to her, which meant I could not simply disappear from Atalan without her consent." He drew in a deep breath and tried to calm himself. His concern for Elizabeth's well-being warred with his own pride and the former quickly won the battle. "Lady Teyla has told me that the college of lords is quieting on the subject," he said hesitantly.
Lorne shrugged, going to the table and pouring himself some of the tea Teyla had brewed. "The gossip has begun to die down. Whether any more serious questions about her ability to rule are raised will depend on what happens when the next crisis arrives, whatever it may be."
John nodded. A ruler was usually judged by his most recent acts, for better or worse. There was nothing for Elizabeth or her advisors to do but hope, and wait. His attention shifted to something else. "You said... you said she was distressed?" he asked, feeling foolish.
Lorne looked at him coolly. "Her trust was abused, and by the man to whom she feels she owes her life. How would you expect her to react?"
Guilt tore at him. "She is doubting herself." Lorne's silence was all the agreement he received but John knew he was right. "That is not right. It was not her fault-"
"Her Majesty is prone to introspection," Lorne reminded him. "She is usually extremely careful when allowing her feelings to be seen by strangers." John had guessed as much. "I believe she would feel more confident if she could be certain her trust in you was not misplaced."
John twitched, but Lorne had a fair point. Did that mean he should return to the palace unasked and seek her out?
Before he could ask any further questions, the door opened and Beckett came in. John was forced to turn his attention to helping the doctor with plans to care for the sick.
Kate was both relieved and irritated when both men left her alone with her thoughts. It had not been difficult to affect a calm, if stern, façade when Sir John had barged unannounced into her room. Living in a royal court and being the companion to a future queen had allowed for no less.
But now that she was alone, Kate was very much aware of how her nerves were still tingling. She shivered and pulled the blankets around her more tightly. Her fall into the sea had to be the source of her most unseemly and irrational behavior. At least, that was what she could claim if someone ever found out what had occurred, she thought pragmatically. A brush with death was enough to throw even the most steady person off balance. And the fever that had followed her plunge into the icy waters was more than enough to explain her moment of weakness.
In her heart, though, she knew none of those things were true.
A light knock on the door interrupted her thoughts and Kate looked up. "Come in."
The door opened to reveal Lady Teyla, who was carrying a small tray with two simply decorated teacups and a matching, steaming pot, as well as a doeskin bag whose straps hung on her right arm. Her eyes swept the room quickly, taking in the blankets still on the floor, but she smiled and asked, "Kate, how are you feeling?"
Kate stood up somewhat unsteadily. "I am much better, thank you, Teyla," she replied. Out of habit, she stepped forward to take the tray out of her friend's hands, but Teyla shook her head and moved toward the table by the room's single window.
After setting the tray down, she turned back to her. "I brought you a change of clothes, since I fear it will be some hours yet before your clothes are dry enough to be worn." She held out the bag.
"Thank you," Kate said, taking it. She moved over behind the small screen in the corner. Opening the bag, she found a plain but practical dress, a warm shawl, and, perhaps most importantly, dry undergarments.
"I was not aware you were so interested in swimming," Teyla called cheekily from the other side.
Kate rolled her eyes as she removed her still-damp underclothes and slipped gratefully into the dry garments. "Neither was I," she shot back. "And if I was, I most certainly would not begin to explore my interest on such a day as this."
She heard Teyla laugh and once she was dressed, Kate joined her at the table. She took one of the teacups offered by Teyla and sipped from it. There was a comfortable silence between the two women until Kate looked up and found Teyla studying her closely. The emotion in her eyes made Kate stiffen briefly, and then she sighed.
"I suppose," she said tiredly, "Sir John has made you aware of what he walked in on."
Teyla set her cup down. "He said only that you might need to talk to someone not from the palace," she clarified. "I already knew that Doctor Beckett sent you up here with Captain Lorne." She smiled. "I am not so simple-minded that I did not know what he meant when he said you were up here to 'warm up.'"
Kate felt her cheeks heat. "He would never even think of dishonoring me or any other lady," she burst out defensively. "Marcus was in that position for the sake of my own health and safety, and with the sanction of Doctor Beckett."
"I never said anything about him dishonoring you or any other lady," Teyla said serenely, her lips twitching in amusement.
Kate scowled, but soon realized she was more annoyed with herself than with Teyla's teasing. She knew the rumors about Marcus Lorne as well as any other woman in the court would, and she knew enough about the world to understand what normally happened when a man undressed a woman, whether with her consent or without it.
In the space of a few minutes she had gone from believing that there was nothing about herself which was pleasing to his eyes to knowing the absolute force of his desire for her. She had allowed him - no, encouraged him - to touch her as no other man had, and part of her felt a deep shame for behaving so wantonly. But at the same time, Kate knew that had it not been for his remarkable show of restraint, she would have let him have his way with her, and would likely have relished every moment. The whole encounter had been a surfeit of contradictions: shame and shamelessness, heartbreak and hope, pain and pleasure.
She had never felt so confused in her life, but so long as she was unsure of her own footing she knew one thing for certain. "There is no need to inform her Majesty of this yet," she said slowly.
Teyla held her gaze, her expression growing serious. "I will say nothing, of course. It is your business, Kate, but I suggest that you tell the queen what she needs to know. Keeping secrets can cause all sorts of problems, both for her and for you."
Kate winced. That piece of advice resonated with her unpleasantly, and she found herself feeling strangely sympathetic for John now. It seemed that that counsel was easier to give than to receive.
"Also," Teyla continued, "I cannot control what Sir John might say to the queen, when he eventually returns to Atlantis." She looked across the table at Kate pointedly. "And you know Elizabeth's ire against him will not last forever. They will speak to one another again. It is best that she hear it from you, and not from another."
Again, words so like her own to Sir John the month before. Kate inhaled sharply and finally looked away. "I understand that," she said softly.
The other woman took pity upon her and reached across the table, touching her hand gently. "Kate," she spoke reassuringly, "Captain Lorne would not give his affections lightly. If you are certain of his regard for you and yours for him, then you have nothing to fear from her Majesty."
It was not the queen Kate was concerned about, but she admitted, "I know, but there is much more at stake."
Teyla smiled, a tinge of what Kate thought might be sadness flitting across her face. "Is that not often the case?" she asked. The two sat in silence until Teyla sat her cup down and stood up. "Come," she said, gesturing for Kate to rise, "you still run the risk of becoming seriously ill. You need to continue to rest. And this time, you can rest in a bed, which I am sure is much more comfortable than lying on the floor by the fire."
Kate thought briefly to protest, recalling her purpose for being in Athos in the first place, but as she stood up, a wave of dizziness cut off all thoughts of doing anything other than what Teyla instructed her to do. She took Teyla's hand and let the other woman lead her over to the bed.
Lying down, Kate felt her eyes begin to drift shut. As consciousness slowly left her, she wondered briefly why Teyla had looked wistful only a few moments before, but the thought quickly left her as shadowy dreams invaded her exhausted mind.
The sound of people sniffling had become so normal that Carson Beckett hardly noticed it anymore. He walked among the beds arranged in the large hall, checking on his patients. Most of the adults had mild or moderate cases, but with the proper medicines and time to recuperate without straining themselves, he believed they would recover. However, a number of children had also contracted the disease and their cases were much more troubling.
Only a few of his young patients were from Athos itself, meaning the rest of them were Hoffan refugees. Carson had examined many of these children when they had been brought to Atlantis and had noted that many had signs of malnourishment, a condition stemming from something other than the trauma of the Wraith attack. The last few weeks had left them ripe for attracting disease. And that, the doctor thought grimly, was what had happened. He looked down at the small girl who lay before him. Her eyes were closed as she tried to sleep, but her tiny face was pinched as she began to cough. Even though only semiconscious, her little fist came up to cover her mouth.
Carson quickly knelt down beside the bed and pulled her up as her coughs turned to convulsions. "There, there, lass," he murmured softly, stroking her back. "Just let it out. Don't fight it."
After several moments which must have been agonizing, her coughing eased and she slumped back onto the bed and looked up at him with brown eyes bleary from exhaustion.
"Tired…" she whispered.
"I know, love," he crooned sympathetically. "Let's get some medicine in you that will help you to get some real sleep."
She wrinkled her nose like most children did when told they had to take a vile-tasting tonic, and Carson smiled slightly. She looked like one of his sisters had when they were children. He reached down into his bag and began to rummage through. As he did so, he asked, "What is your name, little one?"
"Mina," the child replied quietly, her voice trembling. Carson glanced at her and saw that she was doing her utmost to suppress another coughing fit. He quickly took out the correct bottle as well as a spoon.
"Here, Miss Mina," he said reassuringly, "take this. It will help with that cough of yours." She looked so miserable that she did not offer him any arguments, simply opened her mouth obediently.
He put the spoon into her mouth and she closed her lips around it, taking the medicine and swallowing it. Mina started slightly when she did so, apparently noticing the lack of foul taste. Carson laughed at her expression.
"Yes," he told her, "it doesn't taste so bad, does it?" He had made this particular tonic especially for children. If they were given medicine that did not taste revolting, then they would not fight it and therefore its effects so much.
Mina leaned back after a moment, her head hitting her pillow gently as she looked up at him. "You were at the palace."
He nodded. "Indeed. I am a doctor and I normally take care of the queen. When she heard that her friends here in Athos were becoming ill, she sent me and one of her ladies to help as best we could."
The little girl nodded, her eyes beginning to drift shut. "I met the queen," she murmured softly. "She ate dinner with us and held me for a while. She was very pretty."
"Yes, the queen is very pretty," Carson agreed. He was more partial to Laura's fairer complexion himself, but he did not say so out loud. He doubted the child would even notice if he did, and thinking of Laura only reminded him of their quarrel, and he could do nothing to fix that situation just now. "I shall pass on the compliment to her when I return."
Mina hummed slightly in response, but did not offer any coherent reply as she finally drifted off to sleep. Slowly, Carson stood and gathered his things, intending to clean the spoon he had used and continue to do his rounds with the patients. As he turned to leave, he spotted Mistress Perna watching him from a few feet away, at the foot of another bed. He had spoken with her upon arriving in the village. He remembered her well from the period when the Hoffan refugees were in Atlantis. Trained as a nurse and midwife, she had become one of the leaders of the Hoffans after the Wraith attack, responsible for gathering them and seeing that their needs were met. He was unsurprised that when this illness arrived, she had again taken the lead in directing the response.
He nodded cordially as she fell in step with him.
"You are a fine hand with children, sir. Mina is a particularly stubborn girl when it comes to taking any sort of medicine."
Carson smiled and glanced over at the sleeping child. "I don't think she really had the energy to fight me on taking her medicine. But I had mixed the medicine to make it more palatable and thus easier to dispense."
"Truly?" she asked curiously. Then she looked slightly embarrassed at her enthusiasm. After a moment, she continued, "Thank you for coming here to help us. Once again, we are in her Majesty's debt."
"The queen only wishes to see her people happy and healthy," he assured her. "She would not dream of holding you indebted to her."
"But we are nonetheless," Perna maintained. "We of Hoff will not forget Queen Elizabeth's great kindness to us." Carson pressed her hand for a moment, seeing the flicker of pain in her eyes at the mention of the decimated village. She recovered quickly, though. "When you have a moment, perhaps you could describe this tonic and its components? I imagine being able to offset the taste of some of these brews could prove quite helpful."
He was deeply tired, having already been overworked before this crisis. But it would be a nice change to speak of his work to someone who was genuinely interested. "Of course, mistress," he said graciously. "Though I would appreciate something to eat if that would not trouble you."
She smiled, and Carson followed her to the kitchen of a nearby cottage. He spent a pleasant hour with Perna, chatting about various remedies, until he felt it necessary to look in on his young patients again.
As Laura was assisting the queen in undressing for bed, Elizabeth observed, "It seems strangely quiet without Kate, does it not? Yet she is hardly what I would call a noisy person."
That last was said with a small grin, and Laura glared, knowing full well which of them Elizabeth would have considered noisy.
The queen began to cough again, and Laura hastened to put on her nightgown so she could take her last dose of tonic and sleep. But Elizabeth was staring at her fixedly. "You have been quiet today."
Laura sighed. She didn't particularly wish to admit her behavior this morning. It had been excessive and foolish and the product of so much strain in the last few months. Though she also felt there was something underlying the argument that needed to be sussed out. Urging Elizabeth to the bed, she evaded, "Carson and I had a disagreement this morning before he left. That's all."
"About what?" Elizabeth settled into her bed and took her medicine, then reached to help Laura unfasten the back of her own gown.
"I had asked him to go with me to meet with some of the craftsmen, but he was quite busy this morning."
"That caused a disagreement?" Elizabeth asked skeptically.
Laura wrestled with her gown and corset. "It was more than that." Elizabeth merely waited as Laura changed her clothing. Finally, she sat down in the bed and tucked her feet under the covers. "Much of the responsibility for planning the wedding is falling on my shoulders. I know that traditionally it is the woman's province to care for such things, but I believe anyone who knows me would realize I have little interest in fabrics and fashions."
The queen smiled a little, for it was the truth. "And in particular you expected Carson to know such things."
"Should not my husband of all people be aware of my likes and dislikes?" Laura burst out. "I cannot help but wonder if he knows me at all. If he is so ignorant of such a simple thing..." she trailed off for a moment as clarity descended. "What about after we are married? When we have children? He seems to expect that I can yield my time more readily than he can because he waits on life and death, but my duties are important as well."
Elizabeth rubbed her arm gently. "I do not disagree with you in principle, Laura, but you must know there will be times when life is in the balance and Carson will be summoned away."
"Yes, but what if such a thing occurs while you need me?" Laura asked stubbornly.
The queen shrugged. "I expect once any of us begins bearing our children the palace will be well stocked with nurses and nannies for each offspring," she said dryly.
Laura nodded, looking down at her knees, which were folded up under her chin. Her true fear came out in a whisper. "What if he expects something from me that I cannot give him?"
Elizabeth did not answer right away. After a silence, she asked, "When did you first realize Carson had feelings for you?"
It seemed an odd question, but Laura remembered the moment clearly. "It was in the early spring, not long after that big storm had passed, the one that struck down those trees in the south gardens." Her cheeks flushed slightly. "We were passing one another in the corridor, both of us too tired to do much more than nod. But he reached out and took my hand just briefly, and I knew there was more between us than I had understood before."
There was an arrested expression on Elizabeth's face for a moment, but then she shook herself. "So, Carson had known you for over two years by that point?"
"Yes," Laura sulked a little, understanding where Elizabeth was going.
"Then it seems reasonable that he is under no illusions about you or what to expect or not expect from you after so much time."
Laura laid herself down on the pillows. "I suppose."
"He is a good man, Laura. And he would not give his heart or pledge himself lightly."
She sighed and closed her eyes. "We should have eloped," she grumped.
Elizabeth chuckled, which turned into another cough. When that had subsided, Elizabeth rested her cheek on her hand and looked curious. "When did you realize you cared for Carson?"
Pulling the blankets up to her chin, Laura thought back. "At first I only thought him handsome and kind. In fact, I thought he would be interested in Kate when he first came to court. They seemed more suited to one another." She looked up at the ceiling, slightly abashed at what she was saying. "There have been few people in my life whom I felt I could truly trust. Aside from yourself and Kate, Carson was one of them. Last winter I began to notice his..." She smiled a little wickedly. "Virtues anew. So I kissed him."
Elizabeth giggled. "That is a night I will not soon forget. You were half-exultant, half-terrified when you returned. And you wasted no time telling us precisely what you had been up to."
"I was bound by honor to share with my lady and my friend my experiences, that they might benefit," Laura huffed with mock-arrogance.
Elizabeth rolled her eyes even as she yawned. Laura subsided, thinking it high time the queen rest, but Elizabeth murmured lowly, "So you let love follow friendship as well."
Laura was unsure what prompted that observation, but before she could ask, Elizabeth fell asleep. She curled up herself, considering Carson and their courtship for a while, wondering what she could do to remedy the situation when he returned.