Free Jake!

[starborn_scribe]

A few years ago I wrote a "Jake 2.0" spec script for a contest. I was kind of "hiding" it for a while, but the contest has come and gone, so I may as well make it public. So, without further ado, here's the "Personal Firewall" PDF. Any and all feedback is welcome. :) Enjoy!

Comments

[roonblah]

Ooh lovely. I've saved and will read tonight after work.

Was it the recent tvwriter.com contest?

[starborn_scribe]

Kewl. :)

Was it the recent tvwriter.com contest?

Nope, the fall 2003 Scriptapalooza TV contest. Didn't even make it to the quarter-finals. I think I know why, but I won't say anything until after you've read it. It was still fun to write, though.

[roonblah]

Okay read it. I think the voices were spot on, and the technical details were groovy (love the idea of a personal firewall), so I can only assume it was length. Most spec scripts I see are nearer 60 pages. I know mine are always short.

Do competitions require more stand-alone type episodes where villains aren't already known to the show? Because I think building the antagonist would have probably added more suspense and a bigger climax for readers not familiar to the show and knowing Dumont was a hard-core putz.

[starborn_scribe]

Yay! I'm glad you liked it. I don't think it was length. I was actually worried that it was too long at 49 pages, since it's typically one minute per page. Most U.S. shows clock in at 43 minutes including opening and closing credits. Anyway, I think the problem with the script is that it's all A story. The closest thing to a B story is Dumont and the chick (I'm being vague so no one's spoiled), and there's no C story. If there had been at least a solid B story the script might have gone further. Oh well.

Do competitions require more stand-alone type episodes where villains aren't already known to the show?That's a good point. I tried to give enough background about Dumont so that the contest judges would "get" him enough to follow the script. From what I've read, spec scripts shouldn't majorly affect any of the show's storylines or characters. Although plenty of stuff happens between Jake and Dumont, not much has changed at the end of the episode

[fikgirl]

What do you use to write your scripts anyway?

I'd like to try my hand it (mostly for fun, I think I'm far too long winded to be a script writer), but don't know what to use.

[starborn_scribe]

What do you use to write your scripts anyway?

Microsoft Word. I have a few custom styles set up. Basically I write the script all left-adjusted. When I'm done with each scene I apply the styles for dialog, etc. It's probably not the most efficient way to do it, but it works for me.

I'd like to try my hand it

By all means, go for it! It's good that you have an ear for dialog. That'll help. You'll find yourself cutting more and more words with each draft. From what I've seen of your writing, you'll probably wrestle with the lack of inner monologue the most. You're relying on the actors and director to "get it" enough to convey the characters' feelings.

[fikgirl]

By all means, go for it!

Now just to find a project to work on it with...