Filth!

[p_bau]

I love posting my most unfunny, raunchiest, and downright mean jokes. Here's another one!

I'd like penis reduction surgery named after me. All my friends would say "So, um, you had, like, a giant wang?" And I'd say "No, I just like really young girls."

Comments

[ahcoldpizza]

fix the phrasing but other than that it's good.

[p_bau]

I defintely agree with you but I do it A LOT different on stage. You just can't do pauses and timing in type.

It had been awhile since I'd dropped a filth bomb in this community and, stupidly, picked a joke that simply doesn't work without the visual and aural presence.

I now do five squeaky clean minutes to open my half hour set. Then, I do this gem and, when the groans hit, I get all game show hosty and say "And welcome to the show! I'm Patrick Ryan. How're ya doin'?". It's helped to open the door to some of the god awful bombs I drop later.

[minniethemoocha]

For the considerate pedophile.

[p_bau]

Where do you live, god damn it? If I'm doing a show in your area, you will have to be there. Fo riz a diz.

[minniethemoocha]

I'm in SW Virginia. Where do you usually perform?

[p_bau]

Virginia? Sheeit...I think the closest I've come to working there was Louisville. Mostly I do stuff around the midwest but, someday, I'm sure I'll have enough star power to be in demand just about everywhere...I'm sure of it...'cause...y'know...my stuff's so accessible.