A Heart Disowned (Pt 5)
(Sorry for the delay and lost links, LJ is seriously hatin' on me this week! Enjoy!)
For the sixth day in a row, Jensen woke up to the warm, tempting aroma of breakfast dragging his tired ass from the bed and then from the shower. He scrubbed a hand in his dark, blonde hair as he flopped into his seat at the small dining table and muttered a thanks as the cup of perfectly black coffee with one sugar was shoved at him first.
This could prove to be addictive, he thought, as he watched the muscled shoulders flexing with the work of those two, strong hands sliding hot, delicious food into two plates and Jensen found one shoved underneath his nose. He smirked and then sighed happily with a slightly hesitant look over at Jared who, at some point when Jensen wasn’t looking, had inhaled half his own breakfast.
“You are gonna ruin me,” Jensen said outright but his tone was grateful instead of berating. To see those double dimples in that warm, gentle smile almost shut him up for the next hour anyway. “Jared, you really don’t gotta do this every morning.”
He regretted the words as soon as they were out of his fat mouth. Jensen watched as Jared’s shoulders sank slightly and he stopped eating, setting his fork off to the side with a half- mumbled apology. Jensen’s heart sank. He reached out and rested his hand warmly over Jared’s gigantic hand and almost whispered a feeble attempt on his own part at his own apology.
“Hey, Jare,” Jensen said quietly, shortening his best friend’s name as much as Jared shortened his own. “It’s not that I don’t appreciate it cause, damn, I haven’t eaten this good since I left home! I’m just sayin’…you really don’t have to do this for me every morning. I’m just happy to have you here and know you’re safe.”
A pair of dark, hazel eyes seemed much larger than Jensen remembered as Jared’s gaze slowly rose and met his own mossy, green eyes.
“Jen, you’ve done more for me than my entire family has in years,” Jared said softly as he moved his hand, sliding his fingers gently through Jensen’s. “I know I don’t have to….but I want to.”
Jensen watched Jared’s every move and, once he knew that the younger man didn’t see this as something expected of him, Jensen finally nodded and made sure to tell Jared just how much he loved being so well taken care of and if he kept this up, he wasn’t going to let Jared move even when he found better living quarters. Jared’s silence wouldn’t dawn on Jensen until a long time later.
***
Only two days later, Jensen walked into the tiny apartment at the end of his shift only to find Jared slumped against the sofa, his head down, hands clasped tight in his lap and tears streaming from his handsome, angular face. He quickly set his bag down and rushed over, kneeling before the taller man spread out on the couch.
“Jared? What’s wrong?”
The taller man sniffled and practically drew in on himself as Jensen took the vacant end of the sofa and reached over, silently taking those huge hands in his, squeezing gently as if to remind Jared that he was really there.
“Jare?” he whispered softly and Jensen watched as Jared grabbed the remote and shut the television off in an instant. “Hey, now, c’mon…please talk to me, you’re kinda scarin’ me here!”
“She…she called,” Jared snubbed softly as Jensen’s fingers slowly threaded through his.
“Who called you?”
Jensen was totally surprised to find Jared’s body suddenly leaned in against his and he moved one hand from his, wrapping an arm around those broad shoulders as Jared sobbed openly and nestled his face against Jensen’s neck.
“M-Mom,” Jared breathed softly and instantly, Jensen knew exactly which one he’d meant.
Jesus, was it possible to hate somebody you didn’t even know?
“Well, okay…what did she…you know, say?” Jensen asked quietly and the inconsolable sobs answered the question that Jared had been unable to respond to. “Ah, shit. I’m sorry, Jared…I’m damn sorry she did that to you and even more ‘cause I wasn’t here to help you.”
Jared snuggled against the warmth of Jensen’s neck and Jen held him closer as Jared cried shamelessly against him. And how could he fault the man? Jensen, himself, had secretly worried about this moment for a solid, fucking two weeks! He wished someone had been there for him and, when Jared clung so hard to him, Jensen didn’t mind silently consoling him with soft, kind words and gentle pats against his back until Jared finally seemed to settle down after a while.
“C’mon,” Jensen murmured softly. “Let’s get you outta here. It’s Friday, it’s been a long-ass week, I’m hungry and I want a beer.”
He listened as Jared sniffed and felt him move as he slowly sat up, wiping his face as he nodded. And the broken sound in his voice struck Jensen so deep, he wasn’t sure it ended at all.
“I forgot to make dinner,” Jared said, his voice cracked and raw. “I’m sorry.”
Jensen got to his feet and took those gigantic hands in his, tugging Jared to his feet.
“I think we both need a night off, don’t even worry about it,” he replied and gave the other man an understanding smile as those hesitant, dark eyes flitted up to his. “Go take a shower, get dressed, and I’ll see you out here in thirty.”
Jared nodded once again and, this time, gave Jensen a sweet, shy grin that dimpled one cheek and as Jensen watched him go, he felt a strong, protective desperation rising up inside of him and, no matter what happened, he knew that he would go the extra mile it took not to see that raw, emotional pain in Jared’s dark, hazel eyes ever again. And if that meant that Jared didn’t talk to his unsupportive family ever again, then, so be it.
(Pt 6)
For the sixth day in a row, Jensen woke up to the warm, tempting aroma of breakfast dragging his tired ass from the bed and then from the shower. He scrubbed a hand in his dark, blonde hair as he flopped into his seat at the small dining table and muttered a thanks as the cup of perfectly black coffee with one sugar was shoved at him first.
This could prove to be addictive, he thought, as he watched the muscled shoulders flexing with the work of those two, strong hands sliding hot, delicious food into two plates and Jensen found one shoved underneath his nose. He smirked and then sighed happily with a slightly hesitant look over at Jared who, at some point when Jensen wasn’t looking, had inhaled half his own breakfast.
“You are gonna ruin me,” Jensen said outright but his tone was grateful instead of berating. To see those double dimples in that warm, gentle smile almost shut him up for the next hour anyway. “Jared, you really don’t gotta do this every morning.”
He regretted the words as soon as they were out of his fat mouth. Jensen watched as Jared’s shoulders sank slightly and he stopped eating, setting his fork off to the side with a half- mumbled apology. Jensen’s heart sank. He reached out and rested his hand warmly over Jared’s gigantic hand and almost whispered a feeble attempt on his own part at his own apology.
“Hey, Jare,” Jensen said quietly, shortening his best friend’s name as much as Jared shortened his own. “It’s not that I don’t appreciate it cause, damn, I haven’t eaten this good since I left home! I’m just sayin’…you really don’t have to do this for me every morning. I’m just happy to have you here and know you’re safe.”
A pair of dark, hazel eyes seemed much larger than Jensen remembered as Jared’s gaze slowly rose and met his own mossy, green eyes.
“Jen, you’ve done more for me than my entire family has in years,” Jared said softly as he moved his hand, sliding his fingers gently through Jensen’s. “I know I don’t have to….but I want to.”
Jensen watched Jared’s every move and, once he knew that the younger man didn’t see this as something expected of him, Jensen finally nodded and made sure to tell Jared just how much he loved being so well taken care of and if he kept this up, he wasn’t going to let Jared move even when he found better living quarters. Jared’s silence wouldn’t dawn on Jensen until a long time later.
***
Only two days later, Jensen walked into the tiny apartment at the end of his shift only to find Jared slumped against the sofa, his head down, hands clasped tight in his lap and tears streaming from his handsome, angular face. He quickly set his bag down and rushed over, kneeling before the taller man spread out on the couch.
“Jared? What’s wrong?”
The taller man sniffled and practically drew in on himself as Jensen took the vacant end of the sofa and reached over, silently taking those huge hands in his, squeezing gently as if to remind Jared that he was really there.
“Jare?” he whispered softly and Jensen watched as Jared grabbed the remote and shut the television off in an instant. “Hey, now, c’mon…please talk to me, you’re kinda scarin’ me here!”
“She…she called,” Jared snubbed softly as Jensen’s fingers slowly threaded through his.
“Who called you?”
Jensen was totally surprised to find Jared’s body suddenly leaned in against his and he moved one hand from his, wrapping an arm around those broad shoulders as Jared sobbed openly and nestled his face against Jensen’s neck.
“M-Mom,” Jared breathed softly and instantly, Jensen knew exactly which one he’d meant.
Jesus, was it possible to hate somebody you didn’t even know?
“Well, okay…what did she…you know, say?” Jensen asked quietly and the inconsolable sobs answered the question that Jared had been unable to respond to. “Ah, shit. I’m sorry, Jared…I’m damn sorry she did that to you and even more ‘cause I wasn’t here to help you.”
Jared snuggled against the warmth of Jensen’s neck and Jen held him closer as Jared cried shamelessly against him. And how could he fault the man? Jensen, himself, had secretly worried about this moment for a solid, fucking two weeks! He wished someone had been there for him and, when Jared clung so hard to him, Jensen didn’t mind silently consoling him with soft, kind words and gentle pats against his back until Jared finally seemed to settle down after a while.
“C’mon,” Jensen murmured softly. “Let’s get you outta here. It’s Friday, it’s been a long-ass week, I’m hungry and I want a beer.”
He listened as Jared sniffed and felt him move as he slowly sat up, wiping his face as he nodded. And the broken sound in his voice struck Jensen so deep, he wasn’t sure it ended at all.
“I forgot to make dinner,” Jared said, his voice cracked and raw. “I’m sorry.”
Jensen got to his feet and took those gigantic hands in his, tugging Jared to his feet.
“I think we both need a night off, don’t even worry about it,” he replied and gave the other man an understanding smile as those hesitant, dark eyes flitted up to his. “Go take a shower, get dressed, and I’ll see you out here in thirty.”
Jared nodded once again and, this time, gave Jensen a sweet, shy grin that dimpled one cheek and as Jensen watched him go, he felt a strong, protective desperation rising up inside of him and, no matter what happened, he knew that he would go the extra mile it took not to see that raw, emotional pain in Jared’s dark, hazel eyes ever again. And if that meant that Jared didn’t talk to his unsupportive family ever again, then, so be it.
(Pt 6)