Comments | stablergirl: Number Sixty Six (2/?)

stablergirl

Number Sixty Six (2/?)

May 30, 2009 00:43

It's raining - right, left -

It’s pouring - left, right -

She is focused and determined and her brain goes through its mantra.

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall - hook, right, left, right -

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall…

Right hook. Right hook. Right hook…

Right.

Breathe.

She knows the taste of blood - pewter, thick liquid iron, unsweetened ( Read more... )

fanfiction, brotp, himym darkfic

Comments 18

roland44 June 1 2009, 17:11:09 UTC

Oh hai, youz been writing!!! Wooo!

I have to say I love this so far, I see it going to very wonderful and intriguing places!

The only thing that totally bugs me - Her father's name is CLEARLY Robin Charles Scherbatsky (Sr.) and NOT Charles Johnathan. I just don't buy that his name's Jack. I would buy it if he gave Barney a fake name on purpose. I would buy it if his friends called him Charles, Chuck or Charlie. Not Jack. No no no. But then your wonderful integration of the rhymes would not work. So I will swallow my dissent at this departure from canon and read on nonetheless =) Because it's just that freaking good!

stablergirl June 1 2009, 17:15:10 UTC

Yeah crossed my mind. But then I thought ...really? His name is Robin...really? I decided to go with that it's just the Charlie part not the Robin part, but I know, it bugs me too. Jack sounded more mean, so I thought screw canon, and ran with it. Forgive me ;-)

All sorts of things about this one are bugging me at the moment (but I always hit that point around chapter 3, so I'm not surprised.)

roland44 June 1 2009, 17:24:12 UTC

Yeah I can deal with "Jack" *pushes nagging feeling down like an Ohian pushes down anger*

Hey if you need any help, I'd be happy to beta for you. So far everything's good, I dont spot any errors or anything. If you get stuck I can do my bit to throw in my humble ideas/opinions about where your fic should go =)

stablergirl June 1 2009, 17:27:10 UTC

lol now that you brought it up I might just go back and change it. It would be a simple brainless change, so there's really no reason not to.

If it's bugging you and it's bugging me, it must bug other people too, right?

And yes I will definitely take you up on the offer to toss ideas around! I'll send you a message with thoughts.

Thread 6

snogged June 23 2009, 02:51:00 UTC

*bounces*

This is so wonderful to read.

And I did not see the Jack/Robin Charles Scherbatsky reveal coming at all!

stablergirl June 23 2009, 03:49:27 UTC

::twist!::

;-)