[FIC] Can't Stop, Can't Let Go
Title: Can't Stop, Can't Let Go
Author: Aibi
Fandom: MLB
Rating: R
Pairing: A-Rod/Jeter
Summary: Derek has a problem that he must solve.
DISCLAIMER: This is FICTION. NOT REAL. FAKE.
Notes: This is my first baseball fic. And THE STORY WON'T END. I want it to end somewhere, but I just kept on writing and writing, so the ending maybe kind of weird. My first story that is over 2k. Nice :D And there are things that I could have taken out, but in order to finish the fic on the last day, I did'nt have time to read over it. And if I read it right now, I would think the author has problems. ;___;
PS: Never eat while writing. You end up not writing and eat instead. >.> I end up taking forever to finish the ending :'(
Derek Jeter presses the play button on his answering machine again. For over an hour he has been sitting on his sofa and playing and replaying the same message over and over again.
Cynthia, Alex Rodriguez’s wife, has called Derek and left a long message on the answering machine.
“Derek, it’s Cynthia. I know I shouldn’t be asking you this, but I have a favor to ask you. I hope you can convince Alex to come home. I’ve been calling the apartment and his cellphone so many times that I’ve lost count, and still he hasn’t returned any of my calls. I know that he has taken the lost especially hard. So I gave him time to do whatever he needs to get over it. Then he says that he isn’t coming back yet, he needs more time. So I did give him more time. I’m not stupid enough to have a cranky husband living in the same house with an equally cranky wife. But isn’t a month enough time? I know that he wants to win badly, but there is nothing he can do about it. It’s over. Instead of dwelling on the lost, why doesn’t he just come up and wait for the next season to start? I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be ranting like this to you, especially when you also had a hard time. But I miss him a lot, and I need him to be here, with me. The baby is coming soon and I can’t do this without him. Please tell him to call me back? I know that you know where he is and I am hoping you can convince him to come home. I just want my husband back. I don’t know what to do without him. Thank you, Derek. I don’t what I would do if it weren’t for you. I know I can always count on you. Thank you so much, Derek.”
By the end of the recording, Derek can tell that Cynthia is crying and controlling the sobbing just enough to finish up what she has to say. He stands up into the white ceiling. Derek knows that he shouldn’t be so selfish. Alex has a wife who loves him very much and right now she is pregnant and almost due, and is waiting for her husband to get back. Derek knows he needs to get Alex home, back to his wife. He has to just accept the fact that Alex is really loves his wife and with the baby coming soon, there is no turning back for Alex.
Derek really has no choice but let Alex go. He has kept Alex to himself for much too long - way overdue his time. This whole thing is unfair to Cynthia. Derek convinced Alex to come to New York, so the two of them can spend more time together and Alex wouldn’t have to worry about his wife finding out. But now Cynthia needs Alex to be there for her and the only thing Derek can do to repay back what he has done is to find a way to get Alex home. Home to his wife.
Derek picks up the phone and makes two calls to two different people.
//
Alex sits on the stool with a mug in his hands. He checks his watch and gets impatient with Derek. Alex remembers Derek telling him on the phone that he’ll be on time. But as usual, he isn’t and Alex ends up waiting for him again. Alex doesn’t understand why they have to come out to have a drink, instead of having one at either Derek’s or his place.
‘Finally!’ Alex says to himself as he sees Derek walking into the bar. Just as he is going to wave at Derek, Alex sees that Derek is not alone. Derek seems to be in a deep conversation with a girl who he is holding hands with. Derek and that girl look too chummy to be friends. Alex sets the beer onto the table and waits for the couple to walk to his table.
“Hey Alex,” Derek greets him.
Alex forces a smile to the random girl. “You look familiar. Do I know you from somewhere?”
The girl smiles politely at Alex, thinking that Alex is really smiling at her, “I don’t think so, sorry.”
Alex just nods, “Right. Well, I’m Alex. Nice to meet you.”
“Nice to meet you too. I’m Jenna,” she replies. Turning to Derek, “Derek, can you get me something to drink? I’m going to touch up a little first.” She gives Derek’s hand a little squeeze before letting go and heading to the washroom.
Derek takes a seat on the stool beside Alex. He calls to a waiter to order drinks. Alex flat out asks Derek, “What the hell was that?”
“What?”
Alex points to the washroom, “Her.”
“Oh, that.” Derek turns away from Alex and stares down at his hands. The waiter comes back with the drinks and Derek grabs the mug of beer off the table.
Alex coughs loudly to draw Derek’s attention back to him and asks impatiently, “Well?”
Derek lifts the mug up to his mouth and takes a sip from it. “She’s just someone I met. Whatever, okay?” Derek waves off the question. He sees Jenna walking back from the washroom and stretch out his arm. Jenna takes his hand and is lead back to the table.
“Sorry to keep you guys waiting,” Jenna apologizes. “There are just so many people in there.” She smiles sweetly at Derek and in the process, makes Alex choke on his drink. “Come on, let’s go and dance. I didn’t come here to sit and drink.” She pulls on Derek’s hand. Alex sits there with both hands on the beer mug and watches Jenna drag Derek onto the dance floor. He laughs to himself; he knows that Derek hates dancing, especially in public places. Even he could not convince Derek Jeter to dance with him at home. To Alex’s surprise, Derek complies with Jenna and even seems to have a good time on the dance floor.
Soon, Alex gets tired of sitting there by himself. He rubs his temple to get the pounding out of his head. Not only is the dance music getting to him, the dancing couple is getting on his nerve even more. The more Alex thinks about it, the more annoyed he gets. So instead of just sitting there and brooding, Alex gets off his stool and walks out of the bar. Derek can pay for his tab since he seems
The cold wind hits Alex’s face as he is out on the street. He tries his best to get to his car before anyone recognizes him. Anything worse than now is a huge crowd around him asking for autograph. It’s not like he doesn’t like the attention, it would be fine any other time, but just not right now.
Alex gets into his car and turns on the radio so he won’t be driving in silence. Well, he doesn’t want to drive while listening to the thoughts that are swirling inside his head. Not that it helps, because soon Alex is gripping onto the wheel a little too tightly. The more he thinks about Derek and that celebrity girl, the more Alex will scream inside his head. He can’t really scream out loud since he is still driving on busy streets.
All Alex wants to do right now is get home and take a nice shower. Or else, he will have to go back there and find Derek and oh-so-accidentally smash Derek’s face in the process. Not that it will happen anyway.
‘Fuck. Fuck him and the stupid bitch. I can’t wait until I get my hands on that little shit. I knew I shouldn’t have stayed when he asked.’ Alex laughs out loud as he realizes his own stupidity.
//
When Derek sees that Alex has left, he steps out of the dance floor and stumbles back to his table. Oh, how he hated dancing. But he knows that Alex will get mad and leave. Alex has been trying to get Derek to dance with him since forever and yet every time Derek has turned the offer down.
Derek pays for the tab and leaves by himself. Of course, this has been a set-up. Jenna has owed him a favor, so he is just collecting his payment. Derek drives home to find Alex sitting on his front porch. He turns off the engine and exits his car. Derek slowly approaches Alex and when Alex hasn’t said anything, Derek sits down beside Alex.
“Alex, man, go home. Go back to your wife. I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately and, you know, maybe you coming here were a mistake. Maybe us, we, should only see each other few times a year. Maybe we weren’t, you know, ‘meant to be’, or something. Go back home, to your wife. She needs you more than I do right now. She is having your baby, soon, really soon. You two have barely seen each other and I know that you miss her too. I think that when the season starts again, we should just stay as teammates, best friends and not that other thing. I’m sorry, you know. I think it is time for me to settle down too. Jenna is cool, maybe she and I will, you know, last longer than whatever. But you have to know that this isn’t easy for me. I know that I have to do this. Not just for me. But for the three of us. It’s the only way.”
Alex stares down at the concrete and remains silent during the whole speech. He finally turns to look at Derek. Really look at him. He knows what Derek is right. But he also knows that last year, when Derek was trying to get him to come to New York, had said that nothing would keep them apart. They would be together and nothing could come between them. If both of them wanted it bad enough, they would make sacrifice for it.
Cynthia wasn’t happy at all when Alex told her that he wanted to go to New York. But Alex insisted that they would be fine and it had always been his dream to play with Derek on the same team, to be teammates. They ended up having a huge fight over it and in the end Cynthia blew up at Alex and just told him he could do whatever he want and she wouldn’t care about anything at all.
They didn’t talk to each other after the fight but when Cynthia found out she was pregnant, they made up after Alex promised to be good and not get into trouble. Alex hated to lie to his wife, but he knew if he didn’t, he and Derek would not be playing on the same team, and be together.
But now, Derek is taking back everything he said to Alex last year. Alex decides that he will go back to Cynthia and be the husband that he needs to be. Alex kisses Derek deeply once before standing up and walking back to his car and leaving Derek and hoping that this can last before either of them break down their silent pact.
//
Derek opens his eyes and stares at the ceiling. He picks up the remote from the armrest and turns off the music. He has listened to the same song over and over again for at least an hour, and maybe more than that; he has lost track after the first few repeats.
Derek reaches for another beer from the ground and pops it open. He has also lost count how many cans he has drunk. He has been drinking whatever alcohol he can find in the fridge and in the house.
He drinks himself silly by the end of another 12-pack. He crushes the empty beer can and chucks it across the living room. The can hits the wall and slides down the wall and onto the carpet.
The phone begins to ring and Derek sinks further down the sofa. He hasn’t been answering any phone call for the past few weeks. It continues to ring until the answering machine picks up.
“Hey shithead, where are you? Well yeah, I’m calling again since you aren’t answering my calls. Cynthia’s been asking me where you are. She wants to see you. She’s been wondering if you are going to be coming for a visit, you know, since she wants you to be there when the baby comes. Well, you know, the usual. So, let me know, okay? And um,” a pregnant pause rings into Derek’s ears, “I want you to come, even though you said that we shouldn’t see each other until spring training. But you know, as best friends, and as teammates.”
Derek rips the machine from the wall and chucks that to the wall too. It ends up landing right on top on crushed beer can.
The phone rings again, but by then Derek Jeter has gotten off the sofa and is throwing clothes into his luggage bag. He takes out his passport from a drawer and throws that into his bag too. Then Derek drives to the airport to catch the earliest flight he can get to Florida. Not because of Alex, but because Cynthia asked him to visit.
//
Derek gets out the taxi with a bag of luggage in his hand. He squints his eyes from the bright sunshine. He walks down the pathway and up the few steps to the porch. He hesitantly lifts up his spare hand to the front door and curls it into a tight fist. He lets his fist rest against the door and takes a deep breath. He chuckles and knows that he needs to snap out of whatever funk he is in. Derek knocks hard on the door, once, twice. He hears running footsteps getting louder as a person reach the door.
The door opens and the person laughs. Derek looks up and meets Alex's gaze. He forces a smile and greets him, "Hey."
Instead of shrinking back, Alex steps forward enthusiastically and hugs Derek so tight that Derek can barely breathe. Alex lets go and steps back to survey his best friend. Finally Alex opens his mouth, "Hey man. Glad that you came. Well, come on in. Cynthia is inside.”
"Yeah, um, sure. Thanks," Derek replies. Alex reaches out to take Derek’s bag from Derek. Alex’s hand accidentally touches Derek’s. Both Derek and Alex snatch their hand back as fast as they could. The bag drops onto the ground and Alex reaches down and picks up the bag. Derek sees this as an opportunity to walk away and heads to the living room. Alex grips tightly onto the bag and watches Derek walk down the hall. He shakes his head and drops the bag beside the staircase before following Derek.
Derek walks into the living room and finds Cynthia resting on the sofa. Her belly is swelling since it is almost time for the baby to pop out. And right now, the mother-to-be is glowing with joy. Derek walks to her and gives her a light kiss on the cheek before taking a seat on the smaller sofa. Alex walks in and sits beside his wife. Alex puts an arm around his wife’s shoulder and she puts her head onto Alex's shoulder.
The whole scene is making Derek sick to his stomach. He rubs his temple and slouches into the couch. He knows that he should be used to this by now. But who is he kidding? Every time he visits the Rodriguez’s, he ends up getting jealous. This year is even worst; Alex and Derek have been spending every second together during the season - practically attached to the hips. But off season is a different story, especially when now Alex is back home, with his wife. Of course he will keep to himself. He is in Florida to visit Cynthia, not to start or well, restart, anything with Cynthia's husband.
“Derek! I thought you were going to bring your girlfriend with you. You know that she is always welcomed here,” Cynthia jokes with Derek.
Derek laughs with Cynthia then sends a death glare at Alex. “Cynth, You know I don’t have a girlfriend.”
Cynthia looks at Derek and then at Alex. “But Alex said that...”
“Well, Alex said wrong, okay?” Derek snaps. When he realizes that his reaction is a little too much, he softens up. “Look, I’m sorry. I don’t mean to snap at you like that. I’m just a little tired from the flight. I think I’m going to lie down for awhile.”
“No, no, it’s okay. Um, you go ahead. I think I need some rest too. You know what? We can catch up later. It’s not like you’re going anywhere.” Cynthia puts her hand on the armrest and pushes herself off the sofa. Alex notices that his wife wants to go, so he helps her up and both of them leave the room and walks up the stairs.
Derek lets out a sigh. He shouldn’t have snapped at Cynthia like that. It’s not her fault that he is stuck in the mess that he has created, and hopefully ended. He isn't here to start any shit. He is just here to visit his friend.
//
“We shouldn’t be doing this,” he gasps from the cold lips pressing against his lips.
He reaches for the other man’s belt buckle. “I know. But I can’t help it.”
He puts his hands onto the other man’s wrist to stop him. “We really shouldn’t be doing this. I thought it was over between us.”
“Just once, Derek. Like, a goodbye fuck.” Derek slowly takes his hand away.
“Fine. Just once, Alex. No more. We can’t do this - ”
“Shhh. Just let me handle this. Later. We’ll figure out everything later.”
Alex and Derek somehow end up in the backseat of Alex’s car. They were going out for a drink but instead of driving to a bar, Alex drove them to somewhere remote. Alex turned off the engine and got out of the car. Derek was confused but also got out of the car and walked to where Alex was. They just stood there, staring at nothingness. Out of the blue, Alex leaned over and kissed Derek. Like instinct, Derek responded with equal force and pushed Alex against the car.
When Derek and Alex arrive back at Alex’s house, the lights are all turned off.
“Something must be wrong, there’s no way that the lights are all out,” Alex says as he puts the key in the lock.
“Maybe Cynthia went out?” Derek suggests and follows Alex into the house.
“I think she would have called me, Der,” Alex kisses Derek.
“What are you doing? She might be home,” Derek whispers angrily. “She might be in the house. Or hey, she could be sleeping right now and turned off all the lights.”
Alex rolls his eyes, “Cynth always keep a light on for me when she goes to sleep and I’m not home yet.” Alex laughs and nibbles on Derek's earlobe.
Derek pulls his head away, “Okay. Fine. Then you tell me where she is. Is your cellphone even on?”
“Obviously. Let me see,” Alex reaches from his back pocket and takes out his phone. Derek grabs it from him.
“Dumb shit. It's not even on. You either forgot to turn on the phone or it ran out of batteries,” Derek laughs and throws it back to Alex.
Alex catches the phone in midair and while Derek is distracted, Alex pins him against the wall. But before Alex can do anything, the phone, not the cellphone, rings. Alex trips over Derek's leg and steadies himself and picks up the phone. “Hello?”
“Alex Rodriguez, where have you been in the last few hours?”
“I was out, Mom.”
“And somehow your cell magically didn’t work? Well, that doesn’t matter anymore. But you better get your butt to the hospital. Your wife just had your baby and you weren’t even there with her. I can’t believe this. It was ridiculous. She was calling for you and I tried calling you - ”
“Mom, okay. I’m coming. Keys, right. I’ll be in there as soon as I can. Which hospital was it again?”
“Alexander Emmanuel Rodriguez, now is not the time to joke around.”
“Yes, Mom, not joking here. Right, I’m leaving, right, now,” Alex ends the call and throws the phone on the sofa. “Derek, we gotta go. My wife just had my kid and we are going to the hospital.”
“Shit and you weren't even there,” Derek laughs at his own joke but stops when he realizes that Alex isn’t in the mood. “Right, we’re going. We’re going.”
//
Alex and Derek find themselves in Alex’s car, with Alex’s daughter in the backseat, in an isolated parking lot. Alex enjoys being a father while Derek becomes a babysitter for Alex and Cynthia’s baby - Derek's doing all the dirty work when Cynthia's not around. But what surprised Alex and Derek the most is that Derek still hasn’t gone back to New York. Derek had once wanted to leave when Alex and Cynthia settle in with their baby. But the longer he stayed, the harder it was for Derek to leave.
Finally, Derek decides that he will leave after Christmas. He’ll catch a plane from Florida to Michigan to visit his mom for New Year’s. Hell, he tells himself, he’ll probably stay for a week or two before heading back to New York and getting ready for Spring Training. Yeah, that’s what he’ll do so he won’t have to stay with the Rodriguez’s anymore.
Derek leaves his guestroom to find Alex to tell him about his plan. He finds Alex in the baby’s room, holding his daughter in his arm. Derek leans against the doorframe and can’t help but smile at the sight. It’s rare to see Alex smile like that.
Derek lightly knocks on the doorframe and whispers, “Hey.”
Alex looks up and smiles when he sees that it’s Derek at the door, “Hey you.” Alex places his daughter back into the crib. “So, what’s up?”
“I just want to let you know that, I’m leaving, tomorrow,” Derek tells his best friend.
“What?” Alex yells, then realizes that his daughter is sleeping right beside him and lowers his voice. “You can’t go. I’m not letting you go.”
“Alex, you know that I need to go some time. I don’t think that Cynth appreciates me staying here that much anymore. I mean, at the first, I don’t think she minded much, but now I’m still here after she had the baby. It’s time for me to go. I think you two need some alone time, with me, the third wheel, here.”
Alex walks towards Derek and reaches behind me to push the door close. “Shh, don’t talk,” Alex murmurs to Derek before resting his head on Derek’s shoulder blade. “I guess I can’t keep you here any longer, if you really want to go. Fine. Go. Are you heading home?”
“Actually, I’m going to my mom’s. Going to stay there for awhile before heading back.”
Alex tries to nod, “Okay, I guess I’ll see you back in New York then.”
“Yeah, I guess,” Derek tries to turn around to turn the doorknob, but Alex won’t let him go.
“Der, do you need a ride for tomorrow?”
“If you’re not busy, I guess. Sure, why not.”
“Okay.”
“Okay.”
“Der?”
“Yeah?”
“You know I love you right.”
“I know. I love you too.”
“Okay.”
//
Derek and Alex leaves Alex’s house early so they can spend some time alone before driving Derek to the airport. It is still early so they drive to a quiet place where no one will disturb them or recognize them.
Derek and Alex sit together on a picnic bench as they look out onto the lake. Derek turns to Alex and kisses him. “It’s time to go.”
Alex sighs, “Already?” He sees Derek nodding. “Okay.” Derek trails behind Alex as they walk back to the car. The ride to the airport was silent, but not awkward.
Before leaving the car, Derek tells Alex to just drop him off. It’s not like they aren’t going to see each other again or anything. Alex just nods and sighs deeply. He pulls to the curb of the drop-off lane and Derek opens the car door. He leans against the car door and mouths a ‘Bye’ to Alex before turning and walking into the airport.
Alex waits until he can’t see Derek before he heads home.
Derek gets onto the plane and laughs at himself for being so stupid. He thinks back at everything that has happen, and knows that nothing has been solved. Alex and him are still together, Alex and Cynthia are still together, and Alex and him are still teammates. The only thing that is different is that Alex and Cynthia had a baby.
Maybe this mess isn’t Derek Jeter’s job to clean it up after all.
Sheryl Crow - I Shall Believe
Come to me now
And lay your hands over me
Even if it's a lie
Say it will be alright
And I shall believe
I'm broken in two
And I know you're on to me
That I only come home
When I'm so all alone
But I do believe
That not everything is gonna be the way
You think it ought to be
It seems like every time I try to make it right
It all comes down on me
Please say honestly you won't give up on me
And I shall believe
And I shall believe
Open the door
And show me your face tonight
I know it's true
No one heals me like you
And you hold the key
Never again
would I turn away from you
I'm so heavy tonight
But your love is alright
And I do believe
That not everything is gonna be the way
You think it ought to be
It seems like every time I try to make it right
It all comes down on me
Please say honestly
You won't give up on me
And I shall believe
I shall believe
And I shall believe
Author: Aibi
Fandom: MLB
Rating: R
Pairing: A-Rod/Jeter
Summary: Derek has a problem that he must solve.
DISCLAIMER: This is FICTION. NOT REAL. FAKE.
Notes: This is my first baseball fic. And THE STORY WON'T END. I want it to end somewhere, but I just kept on writing and writing, so the ending maybe kind of weird. My first story that is over 2k. Nice :D And there are things that I could have taken out, but in order to finish the fic on the last day, I did'nt have time to read over it. And if I read it right now, I would think the author has problems. ;___;
PS: Never eat while writing. You end up not writing and eat instead. >.> I end up taking forever to finish the ending :'(
Derek Jeter presses the play button on his answering machine again. For over an hour he has been sitting on his sofa and playing and replaying the same message over and over again.
Cynthia, Alex Rodriguez’s wife, has called Derek and left a long message on the answering machine.
“Derek, it’s Cynthia. I know I shouldn’t be asking you this, but I have a favor to ask you. I hope you can convince Alex to come home. I’ve been calling the apartment and his cellphone so many times that I’ve lost count, and still he hasn’t returned any of my calls. I know that he has taken the lost especially hard. So I gave him time to do whatever he needs to get over it. Then he says that he isn’t coming back yet, he needs more time. So I did give him more time. I’m not stupid enough to have a cranky husband living in the same house with an equally cranky wife. But isn’t a month enough time? I know that he wants to win badly, but there is nothing he can do about it. It’s over. Instead of dwelling on the lost, why doesn’t he just come up and wait for the next season to start? I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be ranting like this to you, especially when you also had a hard time. But I miss him a lot, and I need him to be here, with me. The baby is coming soon and I can’t do this without him. Please tell him to call me back? I know that you know where he is and I am hoping you can convince him to come home. I just want my husband back. I don’t know what to do without him. Thank you, Derek. I don’t what I would do if it weren’t for you. I know I can always count on you. Thank you so much, Derek.”
By the end of the recording, Derek can tell that Cynthia is crying and controlling the sobbing just enough to finish up what she has to say. He stands up into the white ceiling. Derek knows that he shouldn’t be so selfish. Alex has a wife who loves him very much and right now she is pregnant and almost due, and is waiting for her husband to get back. Derek knows he needs to get Alex home, back to his wife. He has to just accept the fact that Alex is really loves his wife and with the baby coming soon, there is no turning back for Alex.
Derek really has no choice but let Alex go. He has kept Alex to himself for much too long - way overdue his time. This whole thing is unfair to Cynthia. Derek convinced Alex to come to New York, so the two of them can spend more time together and Alex wouldn’t have to worry about his wife finding out. But now Cynthia needs Alex to be there for her and the only thing Derek can do to repay back what he has done is to find a way to get Alex home. Home to his wife.
Derek picks up the phone and makes two calls to two different people.
//
Alex sits on the stool with a mug in his hands. He checks his watch and gets impatient with Derek. Alex remembers Derek telling him on the phone that he’ll be on time. But as usual, he isn’t and Alex ends up waiting for him again. Alex doesn’t understand why they have to come out to have a drink, instead of having one at either Derek’s or his place.
‘Finally!’ Alex says to himself as he sees Derek walking into the bar. Just as he is going to wave at Derek, Alex sees that Derek is not alone. Derek seems to be in a deep conversation with a girl who he is holding hands with. Derek and that girl look too chummy to be friends. Alex sets the beer onto the table and waits for the couple to walk to his table.
“Hey Alex,” Derek greets him.
Alex forces a smile to the random girl. “You look familiar. Do I know you from somewhere?”
The girl smiles politely at Alex, thinking that Alex is really smiling at her, “I don’t think so, sorry.”
Alex just nods, “Right. Well, I’m Alex. Nice to meet you.”
“Nice to meet you too. I’m Jenna,” she replies. Turning to Derek, “Derek, can you get me something to drink? I’m going to touch up a little first.” She gives Derek’s hand a little squeeze before letting go and heading to the washroom.
Derek takes a seat on the stool beside Alex. He calls to a waiter to order drinks. Alex flat out asks Derek, “What the hell was that?”
“What?”
Alex points to the washroom, “Her.”
“Oh, that.” Derek turns away from Alex and stares down at his hands. The waiter comes back with the drinks and Derek grabs the mug of beer off the table.
Alex coughs loudly to draw Derek’s attention back to him and asks impatiently, “Well?”
Derek lifts the mug up to his mouth and takes a sip from it. “She’s just someone I met. Whatever, okay?” Derek waves off the question. He sees Jenna walking back from the washroom and stretch out his arm. Jenna takes his hand and is lead back to the table.
“Sorry to keep you guys waiting,” Jenna apologizes. “There are just so many people in there.” She smiles sweetly at Derek and in the process, makes Alex choke on his drink. “Come on, let’s go and dance. I didn’t come here to sit and drink.” She pulls on Derek’s hand. Alex sits there with both hands on the beer mug and watches Jenna drag Derek onto the dance floor. He laughs to himself; he knows that Derek hates dancing, especially in public places. Even he could not convince Derek Jeter to dance with him at home. To Alex’s surprise, Derek complies with Jenna and even seems to have a good time on the dance floor.
Soon, Alex gets tired of sitting there by himself. He rubs his temple to get the pounding out of his head. Not only is the dance music getting to him, the dancing couple is getting on his nerve even more. The more Alex thinks about it, the more annoyed he gets. So instead of just sitting there and brooding, Alex gets off his stool and walks out of the bar. Derek can pay for his tab since he seems
The cold wind hits Alex’s face as he is out on the street. He tries his best to get to his car before anyone recognizes him. Anything worse than now is a huge crowd around him asking for autograph. It’s not like he doesn’t like the attention, it would be fine any other time, but just not right now.
Alex gets into his car and turns on the radio so he won’t be driving in silence. Well, he doesn’t want to drive while listening to the thoughts that are swirling inside his head. Not that it helps, because soon Alex is gripping onto the wheel a little too tightly. The more he thinks about Derek and that celebrity girl, the more Alex will scream inside his head. He can’t really scream out loud since he is still driving on busy streets.
All Alex wants to do right now is get home and take a nice shower. Or else, he will have to go back there and find Derek and oh-so-accidentally smash Derek’s face in the process. Not that it will happen anyway.
‘Fuck. Fuck him and the stupid bitch. I can’t wait until I get my hands on that little shit. I knew I shouldn’t have stayed when he asked.’ Alex laughs out loud as he realizes his own stupidity.
//
When Derek sees that Alex has left, he steps out of the dance floor and stumbles back to his table. Oh, how he hated dancing. But he knows that Alex will get mad and leave. Alex has been trying to get Derek to dance with him since forever and yet every time Derek has turned the offer down.
Derek pays for the tab and leaves by himself. Of course, this has been a set-up. Jenna has owed him a favor, so he is just collecting his payment. Derek drives home to find Alex sitting on his front porch. He turns off the engine and exits his car. Derek slowly approaches Alex and when Alex hasn’t said anything, Derek sits down beside Alex.
“Alex, man, go home. Go back to your wife. I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately and, you know, maybe you coming here were a mistake. Maybe us, we, should only see each other few times a year. Maybe we weren’t, you know, ‘meant to be’, or something. Go back home, to your wife. She needs you more than I do right now. She is having your baby, soon, really soon. You two have barely seen each other and I know that you miss her too. I think that when the season starts again, we should just stay as teammates, best friends and not that other thing. I’m sorry, you know. I think it is time for me to settle down too. Jenna is cool, maybe she and I will, you know, last longer than whatever. But you have to know that this isn’t easy for me. I know that I have to do this. Not just for me. But for the three of us. It’s the only way.”
Alex stares down at the concrete and remains silent during the whole speech. He finally turns to look at Derek. Really look at him. He knows what Derek is right. But he also knows that last year, when Derek was trying to get him to come to New York, had said that nothing would keep them apart. They would be together and nothing could come between them. If both of them wanted it bad enough, they would make sacrifice for it.
Cynthia wasn’t happy at all when Alex told her that he wanted to go to New York. But Alex insisted that they would be fine and it had always been his dream to play with Derek on the same team, to be teammates. They ended up having a huge fight over it and in the end Cynthia blew up at Alex and just told him he could do whatever he want and she wouldn’t care about anything at all.
They didn’t talk to each other after the fight but when Cynthia found out she was pregnant, they made up after Alex promised to be good and not get into trouble. Alex hated to lie to his wife, but he knew if he didn’t, he and Derek would not be playing on the same team, and be together.
But now, Derek is taking back everything he said to Alex last year. Alex decides that he will go back to Cynthia and be the husband that he needs to be. Alex kisses Derek deeply once before standing up and walking back to his car and leaving Derek and hoping that this can last before either of them break down their silent pact.
//
Derek opens his eyes and stares at the ceiling. He picks up the remote from the armrest and turns off the music. He has listened to the same song over and over again for at least an hour, and maybe more than that; he has lost track after the first few repeats.
Derek reaches for another beer from the ground and pops it open. He has also lost count how many cans he has drunk. He has been drinking whatever alcohol he can find in the fridge and in the house.
He drinks himself silly by the end of another 12-pack. He crushes the empty beer can and chucks it across the living room. The can hits the wall and slides down the wall and onto the carpet.
The phone begins to ring and Derek sinks further down the sofa. He hasn’t been answering any phone call for the past few weeks. It continues to ring until the answering machine picks up.
“Hey shithead, where are you? Well yeah, I’m calling again since you aren’t answering my calls. Cynthia’s been asking me where you are. She wants to see you. She’s been wondering if you are going to be coming for a visit, you know, since she wants you to be there when the baby comes. Well, you know, the usual. So, let me know, okay? And um,” a pregnant pause rings into Derek’s ears, “I want you to come, even though you said that we shouldn’t see each other until spring training. But you know, as best friends, and as teammates.”
Derek rips the machine from the wall and chucks that to the wall too. It ends up landing right on top on crushed beer can.
The phone rings again, but by then Derek Jeter has gotten off the sofa and is throwing clothes into his luggage bag. He takes out his passport from a drawer and throws that into his bag too. Then Derek drives to the airport to catch the earliest flight he can get to Florida. Not because of Alex, but because Cynthia asked him to visit.
//
Derek gets out the taxi with a bag of luggage in his hand. He squints his eyes from the bright sunshine. He walks down the pathway and up the few steps to the porch. He hesitantly lifts up his spare hand to the front door and curls it into a tight fist. He lets his fist rest against the door and takes a deep breath. He chuckles and knows that he needs to snap out of whatever funk he is in. Derek knocks hard on the door, once, twice. He hears running footsteps getting louder as a person reach the door.
The door opens and the person laughs. Derek looks up and meets Alex's gaze. He forces a smile and greets him, "Hey."
Instead of shrinking back, Alex steps forward enthusiastically and hugs Derek so tight that Derek can barely breathe. Alex lets go and steps back to survey his best friend. Finally Alex opens his mouth, "Hey man. Glad that you came. Well, come on in. Cynthia is inside.”
"Yeah, um, sure. Thanks," Derek replies. Alex reaches out to take Derek’s bag from Derek. Alex’s hand accidentally touches Derek’s. Both Derek and Alex snatch their hand back as fast as they could. The bag drops onto the ground and Alex reaches down and picks up the bag. Derek sees this as an opportunity to walk away and heads to the living room. Alex grips tightly onto the bag and watches Derek walk down the hall. He shakes his head and drops the bag beside the staircase before following Derek.
Derek walks into the living room and finds Cynthia resting on the sofa. Her belly is swelling since it is almost time for the baby to pop out. And right now, the mother-to-be is glowing with joy. Derek walks to her and gives her a light kiss on the cheek before taking a seat on the smaller sofa. Alex walks in and sits beside his wife. Alex puts an arm around his wife’s shoulder and she puts her head onto Alex's shoulder.
The whole scene is making Derek sick to his stomach. He rubs his temple and slouches into the couch. He knows that he should be used to this by now. But who is he kidding? Every time he visits the Rodriguez’s, he ends up getting jealous. This year is even worst; Alex and Derek have been spending every second together during the season - practically attached to the hips. But off season is a different story, especially when now Alex is back home, with his wife. Of course he will keep to himself. He is in Florida to visit Cynthia, not to start or well, restart, anything with Cynthia's husband.
“Derek! I thought you were going to bring your girlfriend with you. You know that she is always welcomed here,” Cynthia jokes with Derek.
Derek laughs with Cynthia then sends a death glare at Alex. “Cynth, You know I don’t have a girlfriend.”
Cynthia looks at Derek and then at Alex. “But Alex said that...”
“Well, Alex said wrong, okay?” Derek snaps. When he realizes that his reaction is a little too much, he softens up. “Look, I’m sorry. I don’t mean to snap at you like that. I’m just a little tired from the flight. I think I’m going to lie down for awhile.”
“No, no, it’s okay. Um, you go ahead. I think I need some rest too. You know what? We can catch up later. It’s not like you’re going anywhere.” Cynthia puts her hand on the armrest and pushes herself off the sofa. Alex notices that his wife wants to go, so he helps her up and both of them leave the room and walks up the stairs.
Derek lets out a sigh. He shouldn’t have snapped at Cynthia like that. It’s not her fault that he is stuck in the mess that he has created, and hopefully ended. He isn't here to start any shit. He is just here to visit his friend.
//
“We shouldn’t be doing this,” he gasps from the cold lips pressing against his lips.
He reaches for the other man’s belt buckle. “I know. But I can’t help it.”
He puts his hands onto the other man’s wrist to stop him. “We really shouldn’t be doing this. I thought it was over between us.”
“Just once, Derek. Like, a goodbye fuck.” Derek slowly takes his hand away.
“Fine. Just once, Alex. No more. We can’t do this - ”
“Shhh. Just let me handle this. Later. We’ll figure out everything later.”
Alex and Derek somehow end up in the backseat of Alex’s car. They were going out for a drink but instead of driving to a bar, Alex drove them to somewhere remote. Alex turned off the engine and got out of the car. Derek was confused but also got out of the car and walked to where Alex was. They just stood there, staring at nothingness. Out of the blue, Alex leaned over and kissed Derek. Like instinct, Derek responded with equal force and pushed Alex against the car.
When Derek and Alex arrive back at Alex’s house, the lights are all turned off.
“Something must be wrong, there’s no way that the lights are all out,” Alex says as he puts the key in the lock.
“Maybe Cynthia went out?” Derek suggests and follows Alex into the house.
“I think she would have called me, Der,” Alex kisses Derek.
“What are you doing? She might be home,” Derek whispers angrily. “She might be in the house. Or hey, she could be sleeping right now and turned off all the lights.”
Alex rolls his eyes, “Cynth always keep a light on for me when she goes to sleep and I’m not home yet.” Alex laughs and nibbles on Derek's earlobe.
Derek pulls his head away, “Okay. Fine. Then you tell me where she is. Is your cellphone even on?”
“Obviously. Let me see,” Alex reaches from his back pocket and takes out his phone. Derek grabs it from him.
“Dumb shit. It's not even on. You either forgot to turn on the phone or it ran out of batteries,” Derek laughs and throws it back to Alex.
Alex catches the phone in midair and while Derek is distracted, Alex pins him against the wall. But before Alex can do anything, the phone, not the cellphone, rings. Alex trips over Derek's leg and steadies himself and picks up the phone. “Hello?”
“Alex Rodriguez, where have you been in the last few hours?”
“I was out, Mom.”
“And somehow your cell magically didn’t work? Well, that doesn’t matter anymore. But you better get your butt to the hospital. Your wife just had your baby and you weren’t even there with her. I can’t believe this. It was ridiculous. She was calling for you and I tried calling you - ”
“Mom, okay. I’m coming. Keys, right. I’ll be in there as soon as I can. Which hospital was it again?”
“Alexander Emmanuel Rodriguez, now is not the time to joke around.”
“Yes, Mom, not joking here. Right, I’m leaving, right, now,” Alex ends the call and throws the phone on the sofa. “Derek, we gotta go. My wife just had my kid and we are going to the hospital.”
“Shit and you weren't even there,” Derek laughs at his own joke but stops when he realizes that Alex isn’t in the mood. “Right, we’re going. We’re going.”
//
Alex and Derek find themselves in Alex’s car, with Alex’s daughter in the backseat, in an isolated parking lot. Alex enjoys being a father while Derek becomes a babysitter for Alex and Cynthia’s baby - Derek's doing all the dirty work when Cynthia's not around. But what surprised Alex and Derek the most is that Derek still hasn’t gone back to New York. Derek had once wanted to leave when Alex and Cynthia settle in with their baby. But the longer he stayed, the harder it was for Derek to leave.
Finally, Derek decides that he will leave after Christmas. He’ll catch a plane from Florida to Michigan to visit his mom for New Year’s. Hell, he tells himself, he’ll probably stay for a week or two before heading back to New York and getting ready for Spring Training. Yeah, that’s what he’ll do so he won’t have to stay with the Rodriguez’s anymore.
Derek leaves his guestroom to find Alex to tell him about his plan. He finds Alex in the baby’s room, holding his daughter in his arm. Derek leans against the doorframe and can’t help but smile at the sight. It’s rare to see Alex smile like that.
Derek lightly knocks on the doorframe and whispers, “Hey.”
Alex looks up and smiles when he sees that it’s Derek at the door, “Hey you.” Alex places his daughter back into the crib. “So, what’s up?”
“I just want to let you know that, I’m leaving, tomorrow,” Derek tells his best friend.
“What?” Alex yells, then realizes that his daughter is sleeping right beside him and lowers his voice. “You can’t go. I’m not letting you go.”
“Alex, you know that I need to go some time. I don’t think that Cynth appreciates me staying here that much anymore. I mean, at the first, I don’t think she minded much, but now I’m still here after she had the baby. It’s time for me to go. I think you two need some alone time, with me, the third wheel, here.”
Alex walks towards Derek and reaches behind me to push the door close. “Shh, don’t talk,” Alex murmurs to Derek before resting his head on Derek’s shoulder blade. “I guess I can’t keep you here any longer, if you really want to go. Fine. Go. Are you heading home?”
“Actually, I’m going to my mom’s. Going to stay there for awhile before heading back.”
Alex tries to nod, “Okay, I guess I’ll see you back in New York then.”
“Yeah, I guess,” Derek tries to turn around to turn the doorknob, but Alex won’t let him go.
“Der, do you need a ride for tomorrow?”
“If you’re not busy, I guess. Sure, why not.”
“Okay.”
“Okay.”
“Der?”
“Yeah?”
“You know I love you right.”
“I know. I love you too.”
“Okay.”
//
Derek and Alex leaves Alex’s house early so they can spend some time alone before driving Derek to the airport. It is still early so they drive to a quiet place where no one will disturb them or recognize them.
Derek and Alex sit together on a picnic bench as they look out onto the lake. Derek turns to Alex and kisses him. “It’s time to go.”
Alex sighs, “Already?” He sees Derek nodding. “Okay.” Derek trails behind Alex as they walk back to the car. The ride to the airport was silent, but not awkward.
Before leaving the car, Derek tells Alex to just drop him off. It’s not like they aren’t going to see each other again or anything. Alex just nods and sighs deeply. He pulls to the curb of the drop-off lane and Derek opens the car door. He leans against the car door and mouths a ‘Bye’ to Alex before turning and walking into the airport.
Alex waits until he can’t see Derek before he heads home.
Derek gets onto the plane and laughs at himself for being so stupid. He thinks back at everything that has happen, and knows that nothing has been solved. Alex and him are still together, Alex and Cynthia are still together, and Alex and him are still teammates. The only thing that is different is that Alex and Cynthia had a baby.
Maybe this mess isn’t Derek Jeter’s job to clean it up after all.
Sheryl Crow - I Shall Believe
Come to me now
And lay your hands over me
Even if it's a lie
Say it will be alright
And I shall believe
I'm broken in two
And I know you're on to me
That I only come home
When I'm so all alone
But I do believe
That not everything is gonna be the way
You think it ought to be
It seems like every time I try to make it right
It all comes down on me
Please say honestly you won't give up on me
And I shall believe
And I shall believe
Open the door
And show me your face tonight
I know it's true
No one heals me like you
And you hold the key
Never again
would I turn away from you
I'm so heavy tonight
But your love is alright
And I do believe
That not everything is gonna be the way
You think it ought to be
It seems like every time I try to make it right
It all comes down on me
Please say honestly
You won't give up on me
And I shall believe
I shall believe
And I shall believe