- Do you snore?
Nobody has complained, but simply because of human physiology, I’m certain that I have at some point.
- Are you a lover or fighter?
Why does society continually feel the need to assign people to one role or the other? For myself, recently, I’ve gotten more practice at the latter. Pride has me saying that’s by choice, and discretion has me ending the subject now.
- What is your worst fear?
Failing those for whom I’m responsible.
- As a kid, were you a Lego maniac?
We didn’t have Legos when I was a child. Even if we had, my father would have made me study instead of wasting time on such frivolous activities.
- What do you think of ‘Reality TV’?
Reality TV is a waste of time.
- Do you chew your straw?
No.
- Were you a cute baby?
I am quite sure that I wasn’t.
- Is the single life for you?
Due to the fact that every woman with whom I’ve entertained the possibility of a permanent relationship has died, circumstances dictate yes.
- What color is your keyboard?
I loathe computers. They were invented under the guise of making life easier, when it reality, they don’t.
- Do you sing in the shower?
Yes. I enjoy singing, and it helps me to relax.
- Have you ever bungee jumped?
No. While I’m not afraid of heights, they do make me uncomfortable.
- Any secret talents?
Secret talents should stay secret.
- What’s your ideal vacation spot?
Is that a not-so-subtle hint?
- Is Jay Leno funny?
My opinion on the matter doesn’t seem to matter, since he’s still on the air.
- Can you swim?
Yes. Not well, but enough to stay alive.
- Have you seen the movie “Donnie Darko”?
Xander forced me to watch it. It was tiring in its redundancy.
- Do you give a damn about the ozone?
It’s our own fault that it’s disappearing, and I have no doubt that the human race will redeem itself in this area.
- How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?
This question is idiotic at best.
- Can you sing the alphabet backwards?
See previous question.
- Have you ever been in an airplane?
Yes, to and from England.
- Are you an only child?
Yes.
- Do you prefer electric or manual pencil sharpener?
This would probably come to a surprise to Buffy and the others, but electric. It gets the job done faster.
- What’s your take on hunting?
It serves its purpose.
- Is marriage in your future?
Most probably not. My job comes first.
- Do you like your handwriting?
Yes. That would be why I’m writing, instead of typing.
- What are you allergic to?
Dust and mold.
- When was the last time you said, “I love you”?
That is none of your business, and I don’t mind informing you that you are overstepping your bounds.
- Is Elvis still alive?
I doubt it.
- Do you cry at weddings?
No.
- How do you like your eggs?
Benedict.
- Are blondes dumb?
This question doesn’t dignify a response.
- Where does the other sock end up?
Xander has informed me multiple times that the dryer eats them.
- What time is it?
10:50 am.
- Do you have a nickname?
Xander infuriatingly refuses to abandon G-man.
- Is McDonalds disgusting?
As a general rule, I don’t eat fast food.
- When was the last time you were in a car, and who were you with?
I helped drive Dawn to school today.
- Do you prefer baths or showers?
Showers.
- Is Santa Claus real?
Anya claimed that he was.
- Do you like to have your neck kissed?
I refuse to answer this.
- Are you afraid of the dark?
Not with my job.
- What are you addicted to?
I don’t let myself become addicted to anything.
- Crunchy or creamy peanut butter?
What does it matter?
- Can you crack your neck?
I don’t mean to.
- Have you ever ridden in an abulance?
More times than I cared to.
- How many times have you brushed your teeth today?
Just twice. I haven’t had lunch yet.
- Is drug free the way to be?
Yes.
- Are you a heavy sleeper?
Not really.
- What color are your eyes?
Hazel, with the emphasis on green.
- You forgot number 49. If you did it as a test to see if I would catch it, it was annoying. If it was a mistake, it was careless.
- Do you like your life?
Most of the time, yes.
- Do you have any tattoos or piercings?
I used to have an earring.
- Are you psychic?
No, and I have no wish to be. I saw what it did to Buffy in one day.
- Have you read “Catcher in the Rye”?
No.
- Do you play any instruments?
I used to play guitar. Now I do it for pleasure.
- Have you ever stolen money?
No.
- Can you snowboard?
Believe me when I say no.
- Do you like camping?
Not if I can help it.
- Do you snort when you laugh?
No.
- Do you believe in magic?
Is this a bonus question?
Because if it is, it’s insulting.
- Are dogs a man’s best friend?
I never had one.
- Do you believe in divorce?
It happens, therefore I have to believe in it. Preference does not change fact.
- Can you do the moonwalk?
No.
- Do you make many mistakes?
Please tell me that you don’t want a list.
- Is it cold outside today?
Cold is merely the absence of heat, and therefore does not exist per se. However, in layman’s terms, no, it is not cold.
- What was the last thing you ate?
Food.
- Do you wear nail polish?
Yes. It goes so well with my purse.
- Have you ever been kissed?
See question 39.
- What is the most annoying TV commercial?
All of them are bloody annoying.
- Do you shop at American Eagle?
I think Dawn does.
- Favorite band at the moment?
No self-respecting Brit would say The Beatles.
Now that I’ve played by your rules and answered these questions, here’s what I think: Sod off. Buffy and I followed your guidelines as best we could, but when she would be better and stronger not doing so, we didn’t. Then we were punished for that. Now you want us back. If she is willing to take you back, that’s her business, but I’m not going to influence her either way.