STOP! Fic time.
Title: The Colt
Author: srmarybadass
Fandom: True Blood/Supernatural Crossover. oh yes, I went there
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Eric/Sam, hints of Sam/Dean
Length: 1600
Summary: When the plan to defeat the maenad goes unfortunately awry, Eric calls in some acquaintances.
Notes: This is how the next episode should go, in my opinion. Also- obligatory pimp for True Blood Kink!
Sam Winchester. Dean Winchester.
Now don't you want to read it?
“Well, that didn’t go quite as planned.”
“Ya think?”
Sam looked at Jason from their position in the bushes. Jason was too busy watching a chanting, writhing horde of Bacchanalians carry off his little sister for what he assumed would be a rather debauched sacrifice.
“Well, thanks for saving me…”
“Yeah, well, how are we going to get Sookie?” Jason growled. “You got a plan?”
“Plan? Plan, plan, plan…” Sam muttered. “Okay, help me here. Who have we got available to help?”
“Everyone’s possessed.”
“Lafayette?”
“Possessed.”
“Andy?”
“Possessed.”
“Vampire Bill?”
“Tied up with silver in Maryann’s basement.”
“Shiiit.”
“C’mon, Sam!” Jason begged. “There’s gotta be something you can do! Someone you can call! Like…Ghostbusters! Can we call Ghostbusters?”
“No, Jason, we cannot call Ghostbusters,” Sam sighed. Then he perked up. “But…we might be able to call Eric.”
“Your vampire friend?”
“That’s right,” Sam affirmed, pulling out his cell phone. God, the bastard was on speed dial already, how pathetic was that? “Hello, Eric? It’s Sam.”
“Ah, shifter. Have you vanquished the mighty maenad?”
“No. There were, uh…some complications.”
There was a pause, and if Eric had been human, Sam suspected a sharp intake of breath would have been involved.
“You laid the trap?”
“We laid the trap.”
“You said the incantation?”
“We said the incantation.”
“What happened?”
“Well, I guess someone forgot to tell Vampire Bill about our plans, because he busted into the middle of things and managed to get himself and Sookie kidnapped. I think Sookie’s up next on the maenad’s sacrificial list- you know, telepath and everything.”
There was silence on the other end.
“Eric? Please, tell me there’s something you can do.”
“Don’t worry your little puppy head about it, shifter, there’s someone I can call.”
“Is it Ghostbusters?” Jason asked eagerly, as close to the phone as he could.
“No, Mr. Stackhouse, they are not Ghostbusters. They are two hunters, and…acquaintances of mine. I believe they are in Louisiana at the moment, and I will call them. See if they can do anything. Do you know when the maenad is planning the sacrifice?”
“I think tomorrow- it’s a full moon,” Sam said. “Probably at midnight, because it’s midnight, and sacred and shit.”
“Very well. You and the Stackhouse boy find somewhere to hide. The maenad will be distracted with her new toys for the rest of the night, and they cannot do much during the day. I will be there as soon as dark falls.”
“Thanks, Eric.”
“You owe me.”
“I owe you.”
“Tell the Stackhouse boy not to do anything stupid.”
“Jason, don’t do anything stupid.”
Click.
“Well?” Jason prompted. “Shouldn’t we go catch some shut-eye?”
The doorbell rang an hour and a half after sunset. Sam leapt at the sound before beckoning quietly to Jason who, much to his credit, managed to be silent when he picked up his gun, cocked it, and crept closer to the door. He flung it open and stuck the gun at whoever was in the doorway of Jason’s house.
“Who are you?” Jason snarled.
“Whoa, dude, put that away,” said the other guy. Sam looked around Jason and found two young men standing in his doorway, as well as a grinning Eric. The one Jason had a gun trained on appeared to be a male supermodel, and his companion was essentially the same, although noticeably taller, and with far shaggier hair.
“These are my acquaintances,” Eric said congenially, pointing to the shorter man. “This is Dean Winchester, and his brother Sam.”
“Uh…Jason Stackhouse,” Jason greeted, awkwardly putting the gun under his arm to shake Dean’s hand. “This is Sam Merlotte.”
Sam Winchester raised his eyebrows at that, but remained quiet.
“So we hear you have a problem?” Dean grinned with a cocksure smile.
“Maenad,” Sam Merlotte answered shortly. “She’s possessed the entire town- except, you know, for us- and is planning to sacrifice Jason’s sister at midnight.”
“How come you two escaped possession?” other-Sam asked.
“Well, I’m immune to her possession, and Jason…” Sam looked over at the confused Stackhouse. “I got no idea.”
“You’re a supernatural?” Dean asked, suddenly serious.
Sam nodded. “Shifter. Relatively harmless, I like to think.”
Dean nodded. “Well, we had best get this done with as soon as possible. We’ll need to walk, to make sure we don’t disturb anyone. You know where she’s planning to sacrifice this…”
“Sookie,” Jason supplied. “Yeah, at her house. Sookie’s house, not the maenad’s house. Although technically, it was Gran’s house originally-”
Dean held up a hand. “Got it. Show us the way.”
“Eric, are you coming?” Sam asked. Eric nodded.
“Oh, yes. I will certainly be coming.”
The bartender decided not to think on that too closely. Instead, he stepped onto the porch and let Jason lock up his house- not that it would do much good.
“Dude!” Jason exclaimed. “Sweet car!”
“’67 Chevy Impala,” Dean supplied automatically. “You like?”
“Totally,” Jason nodded.
“We should get going,” Sam Winchester motioned into the dark.
“Not that I’m questioning your methods,” Sam Merlotte asked him several minutes later as they crept through the woods to Sookie’s house. “But how exactly are you planning on killing the maenad?”
The Winchester brothers exchanged a look that involved grinning like cats.
“The Colt,” the taller young man informed Sam.
Sam raised an eyebrow.
“It’s this gun,” Sam Winchester further extrapolated.
“I gathered as much,” Sam Merlotte said. “Care to explain how it will kill the maenad?”
“Well, it was made for this hunter- a paranormal hunter- way back in the nineteenth century,” Dean explained. “Then, this other hunter got it. Then some vampires had it, and then they traded it to my dad, and then a demon got it, and then another demon got it, but then it got stolen and given to yet another demon…but now we have it!”
“And it can kill anything,” his brother finished.
Sam nodded. Sounded good. A little sketchy- and there was something weird about these brothers, but Eric had brought them, and Sam trusted Eric. Sort of.
After half an hour of stalking through the woods, the merry band of five came across an orgy.
Once upon a time- all right, last week- this would have been a relatively unusual occurrence in Bon Temps, but now Sam could only sigh and hope that the bonfire wouldn’t get out of control.
“All right, Sammy,” Dean said, and for one very strange second Sam thought he was speaking to him, but, of course, he was addressing his little brother. “I’ll go in and distract her, and you shoot her!”
“In the head,” Jason added.
Sam Winchester heaved a huge sigh. “Why do you always go get to participate in the orgies?”
“I’m not going to participate,” Dean replied. “I’m just going to…observe. And distract the maenad.”
“You said that.”
“I’m right.”
“Fine.”
“Guys?” Jason whispered, voice frantically rising. “They’ve got my sister strapped to an altar-”
And indeed, that was unfortunately true. Everyone was able to see Sookie quite clearly from their vantage point in the underbrush, and she was tied to some sort of altar-pyre that was covered in flowers. She was struggling- go, Sookie! That’s my sister!, Jason thought proudly- but to no avail.
“Oh, look, Mr. Compton has gotten himself into a spot of trouble,” Eric drawled, pointing to where Bill was strapped to a tree with silver chains. “Such a pity.”
“Okay, Dean, go now!” his brother whispered. “Now! Now!”
Chuckling, Dean strode out into the oncoming orgy and straight up to Maryann, who stopped vibrating enough to take a look at him.
“Well hello there, you juicy young thing,” she smiled. “Wherever did you come from?”
“Where do you think?” Dean grinned lazily back. Sam’s shifter hearing could pick up on every aspect of their conversation, and judging by Eric’s look of keen interest, he could too. Jason’s attention was glued to Sookie- understandable.
And then Sam Winchester cocked the Colt, aimed, and fired once. The effect was immediately obvious- namely, Maryann’s head exploded, and then the rest of her turned into dust with one long, cacophonous shriek. The entire orgy fell silent.
Just as fast, the maenad’s influence drained out of the townsfolk- Sam could tell because their eyes went back to normal, finally- and then there was a solid ten minutes of sheer pandemonium before Eric, somehow, managed to glamour everyone and convince them that they had merely gotten drunk at a kegger and that they should all go home and sleep it off. And then they should forget all about it.
“Thank you, Mister,” Sookie said as Dean untied her and helped her off the altar.
“No need to thank me, miss, just doing my job,” Dean said, giving her a smile that was utterly, utterly charming. “Besides, my brother Sam did the shooting. I just smiled.”
“I’m Sookie,” Sookie said, cheerfully sticking out her hand and shaking Dean’s. Her wan smiled slowly faded and her face took on a mild look of horror before she quickly schooled her features back into the normal, bouncy-Southern-belle smile. “Over there? Untying my boyfriend?”
“That’s right,” Dean replied.
“Your…brother?”
“Also correct.”
Sookie gulped. “Well, ah, thank you for saving me. Us. The town.”
“Again, just doing my job, ma’am,” Dean said. “If you’ll excuse me, I might be needed for clean-up…?”
“Oh, certainly,” Sookie said. “Bill! Hey, Bill!” She ran off to her vampire boyfriend, who growled possessively at Dean before looking his lady over for wounds.
Still in the shadows of the trees, Sam turned to Eric. “Thanks for calling them, Eric.”
“It required very little effort on my part,” Eric grinned.
“So, how much?” Sam asked.
“Much?” Eric cocked an eyebrow.
“Money,” Sam clarified. “You want money…for payment…right?”
Eric chuckled. “Oh, you silly shifter. It’s not your money I want.”
“Well then what do you want?”
Suddenly, Eric was a whole lot closer. He tipped Sam’s chin up, winked, and then kissed him.
“This,” he whispered several minutes later.
Sam decided that this method of repayment wouldn’t be such a strain after all.
Author: srmarybadass
Fandom: True Blood/Supernatural Crossover. oh yes, I went there
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Eric/Sam, hints of Sam/Dean
Length: 1600
Summary: When the plan to defeat the maenad goes unfortunately awry, Eric calls in some acquaintances.
Notes: This is how the next episode should go, in my opinion. Also- obligatory pimp for True Blood Kink!
Sam Winchester. Dean Winchester.
Now don't you want to read it?
“Well, that didn’t go quite as planned.”
“Ya think?”
Sam looked at Jason from their position in the bushes. Jason was too busy watching a chanting, writhing horde of Bacchanalians carry off his little sister for what he assumed would be a rather debauched sacrifice.
“Well, thanks for saving me…”
“Yeah, well, how are we going to get Sookie?” Jason growled. “You got a plan?”
“Plan? Plan, plan, plan…” Sam muttered. “Okay, help me here. Who have we got available to help?”
“Everyone’s possessed.”
“Lafayette?”
“Possessed.”
“Andy?”
“Possessed.”
“Vampire Bill?”
“Tied up with silver in Maryann’s basement.”
“Shiiit.”
“C’mon, Sam!” Jason begged. “There’s gotta be something you can do! Someone you can call! Like…Ghostbusters! Can we call Ghostbusters?”
“No, Jason, we cannot call Ghostbusters,” Sam sighed. Then he perked up. “But…we might be able to call Eric.”
“Your vampire friend?”
“That’s right,” Sam affirmed, pulling out his cell phone. God, the bastard was on speed dial already, how pathetic was that? “Hello, Eric? It’s Sam.”
“Ah, shifter. Have you vanquished the mighty maenad?”
“No. There were, uh…some complications.”
There was a pause, and if Eric had been human, Sam suspected a sharp intake of breath would have been involved.
“You laid the trap?”
“We laid the trap.”
“You said the incantation?”
“We said the incantation.”
“What happened?”
“Well, I guess someone forgot to tell Vampire Bill about our plans, because he busted into the middle of things and managed to get himself and Sookie kidnapped. I think Sookie’s up next on the maenad’s sacrificial list- you know, telepath and everything.”
There was silence on the other end.
“Eric? Please, tell me there’s something you can do.”
“Don’t worry your little puppy head about it, shifter, there’s someone I can call.”
“Is it Ghostbusters?” Jason asked eagerly, as close to the phone as he could.
“No, Mr. Stackhouse, they are not Ghostbusters. They are two hunters, and…acquaintances of mine. I believe they are in Louisiana at the moment, and I will call them. See if they can do anything. Do you know when the maenad is planning the sacrifice?”
“I think tomorrow- it’s a full moon,” Sam said. “Probably at midnight, because it’s midnight, and sacred and shit.”
“Very well. You and the Stackhouse boy find somewhere to hide. The maenad will be distracted with her new toys for the rest of the night, and they cannot do much during the day. I will be there as soon as dark falls.”
“Thanks, Eric.”
“You owe me.”
“I owe you.”
“Tell the Stackhouse boy not to do anything stupid.”
“Jason, don’t do anything stupid.”
Click.
“Well?” Jason prompted. “Shouldn’t we go catch some shut-eye?”
The doorbell rang an hour and a half after sunset. Sam leapt at the sound before beckoning quietly to Jason who, much to his credit, managed to be silent when he picked up his gun, cocked it, and crept closer to the door. He flung it open and stuck the gun at whoever was in the doorway of Jason’s house.
“Who are you?” Jason snarled.
“Whoa, dude, put that away,” said the other guy. Sam looked around Jason and found two young men standing in his doorway, as well as a grinning Eric. The one Jason had a gun trained on appeared to be a male supermodel, and his companion was essentially the same, although noticeably taller, and with far shaggier hair.
“These are my acquaintances,” Eric said congenially, pointing to the shorter man. “This is Dean Winchester, and his brother Sam.”
“Uh…Jason Stackhouse,” Jason greeted, awkwardly putting the gun under his arm to shake Dean’s hand. “This is Sam Merlotte.”
Sam Winchester raised his eyebrows at that, but remained quiet.
“So we hear you have a problem?” Dean grinned with a cocksure smile.
“Maenad,” Sam Merlotte answered shortly. “She’s possessed the entire town- except, you know, for us- and is planning to sacrifice Jason’s sister at midnight.”
“How come you two escaped possession?” other-Sam asked.
“Well, I’m immune to her possession, and Jason…” Sam looked over at the confused Stackhouse. “I got no idea.”
“You’re a supernatural?” Dean asked, suddenly serious.
Sam nodded. “Shifter. Relatively harmless, I like to think.”
Dean nodded. “Well, we had best get this done with as soon as possible. We’ll need to walk, to make sure we don’t disturb anyone. You know where she’s planning to sacrifice this…”
“Sookie,” Jason supplied. “Yeah, at her house. Sookie’s house, not the maenad’s house. Although technically, it was Gran’s house originally-”
Dean held up a hand. “Got it. Show us the way.”
“Eric, are you coming?” Sam asked. Eric nodded.
“Oh, yes. I will certainly be coming.”
The bartender decided not to think on that too closely. Instead, he stepped onto the porch and let Jason lock up his house- not that it would do much good.
“Dude!” Jason exclaimed. “Sweet car!”
“’67 Chevy Impala,” Dean supplied automatically. “You like?”
“Totally,” Jason nodded.
“We should get going,” Sam Winchester motioned into the dark.
“Not that I’m questioning your methods,” Sam Merlotte asked him several minutes later as they crept through the woods to Sookie’s house. “But how exactly are you planning on killing the maenad?”
The Winchester brothers exchanged a look that involved grinning like cats.
“The Colt,” the taller young man informed Sam.
Sam raised an eyebrow.
“It’s this gun,” Sam Winchester further extrapolated.
“I gathered as much,” Sam Merlotte said. “Care to explain how it will kill the maenad?”
“Well, it was made for this hunter- a paranormal hunter- way back in the nineteenth century,” Dean explained. “Then, this other hunter got it. Then some vampires had it, and then they traded it to my dad, and then a demon got it, and then another demon got it, but then it got stolen and given to yet another demon…but now we have it!”
“And it can kill anything,” his brother finished.
Sam nodded. Sounded good. A little sketchy- and there was something weird about these brothers, but Eric had brought them, and Sam trusted Eric. Sort of.
After half an hour of stalking through the woods, the merry band of five came across an orgy.
Once upon a time- all right, last week- this would have been a relatively unusual occurrence in Bon Temps, but now Sam could only sigh and hope that the bonfire wouldn’t get out of control.
“All right, Sammy,” Dean said, and for one very strange second Sam thought he was speaking to him, but, of course, he was addressing his little brother. “I’ll go in and distract her, and you shoot her!”
“In the head,” Jason added.
Sam Winchester heaved a huge sigh. “Why do you always go get to participate in the orgies?”
“I’m not going to participate,” Dean replied. “I’m just going to…observe. And distract the maenad.”
“You said that.”
“I’m right.”
“Fine.”
“Guys?” Jason whispered, voice frantically rising. “They’ve got my sister strapped to an altar-”
And indeed, that was unfortunately true. Everyone was able to see Sookie quite clearly from their vantage point in the underbrush, and she was tied to some sort of altar-pyre that was covered in flowers. She was struggling- go, Sookie! That’s my sister!, Jason thought proudly- but to no avail.
“Oh, look, Mr. Compton has gotten himself into a spot of trouble,” Eric drawled, pointing to where Bill was strapped to a tree with silver chains. “Such a pity.”
“Okay, Dean, go now!” his brother whispered. “Now! Now!”
Chuckling, Dean strode out into the oncoming orgy and straight up to Maryann, who stopped vibrating enough to take a look at him.
“Well hello there, you juicy young thing,” she smiled. “Wherever did you come from?”
“Where do you think?” Dean grinned lazily back. Sam’s shifter hearing could pick up on every aspect of their conversation, and judging by Eric’s look of keen interest, he could too. Jason’s attention was glued to Sookie- understandable.
And then Sam Winchester cocked the Colt, aimed, and fired once. The effect was immediately obvious- namely, Maryann’s head exploded, and then the rest of her turned into dust with one long, cacophonous shriek. The entire orgy fell silent.
Just as fast, the maenad’s influence drained out of the townsfolk- Sam could tell because their eyes went back to normal, finally- and then there was a solid ten minutes of sheer pandemonium before Eric, somehow, managed to glamour everyone and convince them that they had merely gotten drunk at a kegger and that they should all go home and sleep it off. And then they should forget all about it.
“Thank you, Mister,” Sookie said as Dean untied her and helped her off the altar.
“No need to thank me, miss, just doing my job,” Dean said, giving her a smile that was utterly, utterly charming. “Besides, my brother Sam did the shooting. I just smiled.”
“I’m Sookie,” Sookie said, cheerfully sticking out her hand and shaking Dean’s. Her wan smiled slowly faded and her face took on a mild look of horror before she quickly schooled her features back into the normal, bouncy-Southern-belle smile. “Over there? Untying my boyfriend?”
“That’s right,” Dean replied.
“Your…brother?”
“Also correct.”
Sookie gulped. “Well, ah, thank you for saving me. Us. The town.”
“Again, just doing my job, ma’am,” Dean said. “If you’ll excuse me, I might be needed for clean-up…?”
“Oh, certainly,” Sookie said. “Bill! Hey, Bill!” She ran off to her vampire boyfriend, who growled possessively at Dean before looking his lady over for wounds.
Still in the shadows of the trees, Sam turned to Eric. “Thanks for calling them, Eric.”
“It required very little effort on my part,” Eric grinned.
“So, how much?” Sam asked.
“Much?” Eric cocked an eyebrow.
“Money,” Sam clarified. “You want money…for payment…right?”
Eric chuckled. “Oh, you silly shifter. It’s not your money I want.”
“Well then what do you want?”
Suddenly, Eric was a whole lot closer. He tipped Sam’s chin up, winked, and then kissed him.
“This,” he whispered several minutes later.
Sam decided that this method of repayment wouldn’t be such a strain after all.