The Journey: The Dark Father

[squigglequill]

I'm going to skip over the time I spent traveling, after having left San Francisco, partly because I've already written quite a bit about that before (I can just repost some of it). I might merely state that during that year and a half, I "met" Nuit in New Mexico and engaged in several nights of adoration of her, and then I "met" the Baron Samedi

Comments

[zephret]

I don't know if I'm the only person in the world that thinks this or not, but aren't "fucking" and "father figure" two things that should never mix? I mean, I don't think anyone you fuck could possibly be a father figure, because the father relationship is one that definitely does NOT include fucking (I should hope).

I have mixed feelings about this entry because it's given me a bit more insight into your sexual past and, without being judgemental, I can at least understand now why you were so resistant to what I had to say in my recent post; those who live the revolving doors lifestyle typically do when I start talking about that.

[squigglequill]

Well, first of all, Roscoe and I don't have sex anymore, although I think he would like to. He is also in a very happy open relationship.

However, the important point is that a father SHOULD be not afraid to embrace his son, to show love and tenderness, and a father who does that will raise a child who is more open and friendly to people.

In regards to your post, I tend to see two extremes, for which neither side gets the real idea. Whether it's queeny bitches or so-called "ordinary" guys, the real question is, are they walking around in suits of armor, judging and condemning and insulting and attempting to posture themselves as "better than"?...or are they open and loving people. I don't see much of that in the bitchy queens I see in the bars, but I also saw none of that from the author of that book. In fact, his very picture suggested a grim, hostile man, set in his opinions and ready to fight.

Roscoe has taught me much in the way of becoming a more open and loving person.

[zephret]

But you've still had sex with him in the past. In my view, I don't think he could ever really be a father figure. Fathers want what is best for their sons because of other things, not sexual connections.

Okay, firstly, you haven't read the book - Dave and Ren have, and they enjoyed it and both agree with it to some extent. So I would reccommend it if you can, at least to full understand it. It goes into the history of homosexual acceptance and how the emasculation occurred because of it.
Also, the author used to be a go-go dancer in NYC. So, for him, it's been a very clear break from his roots. I think if that were me, I *would* over do it a bit in the opposite direction, if that's what it takes to rewire yourself psychologically.

Being "open and loving" sometimes means doing what a good father should do --- be assertive towards his son but not be permissive of immature, childish behaviour. Even unconditional love means doing and saying things others do not want to hear.

[squigglequill]

"Being "open and loving" sometimes means doing what a good father should do --- be assertive towards his son but not be permissive of immature, childish behaviour. Even unconditional love means doing and saying things others do not want to hear."

I can assure you that Roscoe does not let me get away with immature behavior. Like I said, he calls me on my bullshit and asks me hard questions.

And in regards to your first statement: you seem to be confusing the biological father with the father figure. What exactly IS a father figure to you, Zac?

While I'm at it, I'll ask you this: what about your father? What kind of man was he? What did he teach you? What did he do FOR you? What's your impression of him? How do you feel about him?