(Put Me Back Together) All Apologies (14/?)
Title: Put Me Back Together
Part: Chapter 14: All Apologies
Author: Squeeka Cuomo
Rating: PG
Character(s)/Pairing(s): Kurt/Puck, Burt Hummel, Mercedes Jones, Finn Hudson, Quinn Fabray, Emma Pillsbury, Will Schuester, Tina Cohen-Chang, Artie Abrams, Rachel Berry, Santana Lopez, Brittany, Mike Chang, Matt Rutherford
Author’s Note: The title and opening quote for this fic come from the beautiful Weezer song, “Put Me Back Together.” You can find it here.
- I know there are tons of spoilers out for the upcoming episodes. Please don’t post them in the comments.
Warning: This takes place directly after “Sectionals.” Everything up to that point is considered fair game. There are spoilers if you haven’t seen the first 13 episodes.
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Summary: All it takes is one moment to break Kurt apart. How many will it take to put not only himself but Puck back together?
Put Me Back TogetherChapter 14: All Apologies
When Kurt pulled up in front of his house and saw Mercedes’ small red car parked in front of it, he was tempted to keep on driving.
Because…
He knew why she was there waiting for him and consequently, what was to come.
And after what had happened in rehearsal with Finn and afterward in the locker room with Puck, Kurt just didn’t think he could handle anymore today. All he really wanted to do was go inside, get his homework done, and settle in for a relaxing evening.
But deep down, Kurt knew that his night was going to be anything but.
So, resigning himself to his fate, Kurt pulled the Navigator into the driveway (making sure to leave space for his dad). However, before shutting off the engine, Kurt took a moment to just sit and let his head clear (Or, as much as he possibly could anyway.) As he sat, Kurt didn’t try to rally his defenses or come up with any arguments or counter arguments.
Instead, Kurt did his best to let his thoughts clear out completely, imaging that his mind was free of any stress or negativity. He knew that Mercedes was bound to be upset, but Kurt also knew that if he walked up to her with his proverbial guns drawn, things would only be worse.
Unable to avoid the inevitable any longer, Kurt took one last deep breath as he turned his keys and pulled them out of the ignition. And after grabbing his jacket and book bag, he headed towards his front door.
Kurt knew he should have walked over to her car first, but he didn’t. Because if he did, they would end up having their discussion in the street. And Kurt really didn’t want that to happen. He’d much rather be inside the safety of his own home when Mercedes confronted him.
But as he got closer to the front door, Kurt realized that she wasn’t following him. As he thought about that, Kurt noticed that he hadn’t heard her car door open or close as he’d walked towards his house. And try as he might, Kurt couldn’t make out any footsteps behind him.
Thoroughly confused, he stopped and turned to look back towards her car.
“I’m up here, Kurt.” Mercedes voice came from behind him, making him jump just a bit. When he turned back around, Kurt was surprised to find her sitting on the porch swing. Mercedes’ hands were folded in her lap, and her shoulders were slumped, almost in defeat.
“Oh, I…” Kurt’s voice trailed off as he took a few tentative steps towards his house. He wracked his brain for something else to say, but came up with nothing.
“Where ya’ been?” Mercedes’ question could very easily have come across as an accusation, but it hadn’t. Instead, Mercedes just sounded sad, as if she already knew the answer to the question, and it was one she didn’t like.
Walking up the porch steps, Kurt pressed his lips together, quickly debating how much he should tell the girl. “I was with…”
“Puck?” Mercedes noticed his hesitation, finishing Kurt’s answer for him. It was at that moment that Kurt realized she hadn’t really been asking the question, that she’d already known the answer.
And that irritated him.
“Yes, with Puck. And what about you? Did you and everyone else tend to Finn’s wounds?” Kurt’s voice was filled with sarcasm, and he could feel the anger twisting his face into an ugly sneer. Now he was standing in front of the girl, looking down at her on the swing.
Mercedes quickly registered his tone and dropped her eyes to her lap. When she looked up again, Mercedes’ eyes were full of sadness. “Look, I don’t want to fight. You’re my best friend. But…”
Kurt opened his mouth to speak, but Mercedes held up a hand to stop him.
“Something is going on with you.” Mercedes sighed as if she was dreading what she was about to say next. “You’ve been acting strange for a while now. And I want to be there for you, but you need to let me in.” Her voice was barely above a whisper, but Kurt felt as if she was screaming at him. “Please, Kurt.”
“Why did you side with Finn today?” The question was out of Kurt’s mouth before he even realized it was in his head. But as it hung in the air between them, Kurt felt his heartbeat speed up in anticipation of her answer. It was almost as if everything rode on what she would say next.
And much to Kurt’s amazement, Mercedes just slumped further into the porch swing. He’d expected her to protest, to refuse to answer his question before he answered hers. But instead, Kurt was met with something akin to defeat, or quite possibly, shame.
“I’m sorry, Kurt. I know…” Mercedes looked up into the air like the answer was there, waiting to be plucked like a star from the heavens. “I was stupid, and I shouldn’t have done that.”
“But you did.” It came out sounding much more accusatory than Kurt had meant for it to be. And he winced a little as Mercedes stared at him.
“I said it was stupid and that I was sorry.” Mercedes sat up a little in the seat, as if she’d regained some of her confidence. “I’m just so used to Finn being the good guy, you know?”
At that, Kurt wanted nothing more than to say, “Even when he’s got someone else’s blood on his hands?” But deep down, Kurt knew that if he did, that would be it. Mercedes’ patience for him would run out, and she’d get up and storm away. Then he’d be minus not only a friend, but his best friend. And that just wasn’t an option. So he kept his mouth shut, waiting for Mercedes to say something.
When he didn’t speak, Mercedes seemed to take that as her cue to keep talking. “Look, Finn is really sorry. Right after you and Puck left, he freaked out and started apologizing to everyone. He wanted to go after you -”
“Me?” Kurt interrupted Mercedes, thoroughly confused as to why Finn would want to come after him when he’d left with Puck. “What about -”
“Yes, you.” It was Mercedes’ turn to interrupt, and her tone very clearly said that Finn hadn’t wanted to see Puck. And more importantly, it said that Finn had no intention of making amends for what he’d done. “He wanted to apol-”
“I’m not the one Finn needs to apologize to.” Kurt could feel an angry blush creeping up the base of his neck, and he was doing everything he could to force it back down. But the idea of Finn chasing Kurt down to apologize for what he’d done to Puck while Kurt was with Puck…
And yet not apologize to Puck himself…
It angered Kurt so much that it made him feel sick to his stomach.
Mercedes, thankfully, seemed to not only sense his anger but also know that it wasn’t pointed at her. Because when she responded with a somber, “I know,” it also said, “And I totally understand why you’re upset.”
And because of that simple, intuitive understanding, Kurt could do nothing more than stare at his best friend as the back of his throat tightened up in irritation at Finn.
Unable to speak, Kurt moved over to the porch swing and sat down next to Mercedes, making sure to keep his new Prada bag off of the slatted seat. It was a cool November day, and there was a whisper of winter in the air. But it was nice enough for them to sit out on the swing without freezing. And for a few minutes, that was just what they did. Together they enjoyed the silence, allowing it to say all of the things they could not. Or would not.
But eventually, the spell either wore off or the silence simply became too much for Mercedes. (Kurt was positive that it was the latter, because in the time he’d known the girl, he’d never seen her go more than five minutes without talking. Unless they were in rehearsal or something like that, that was.)
“So…” Mercedes sounded tentative, which only served to twist Kurt’s stomach into knots, because Mercedes only hesitated when she had something truly important to say. “What’s going on with you and Puck? You didn’t even seem to care if Finn was ok today. And that’s just not like you. Normally you’re falling all over him.”
Kurt didn’t bite on her last statement, because, as much as he hated to admit it, she was totally right. But that wasn’t the only reason he didn’t come back with a snappy retort. No, he had a question that was much more important than throwing a little shade her way. “Can… Can I ask you something?” It was Kurt’s turn to stare down at his lap, but rather than examine his hands, Kurt picked at a non-existent thread on his bag.
“Umh, ok.” Even though Kurt couldn’t see her face, he could tell that Mercedes was confused, because it was more than evident in her tone. “But you’re not getting out of answering my question.”
Kurt just nodded. He could have said, “I know,” or “Do you honestly things I’m naive enough to think that you would be so easily dissuaded?” But he didn’t. Under normal circumstances, he could snark on command, but at that moment, Kurt just didn’t have it in him. Because their friendship was on the line, and he didn’t want to screw this up.
“If you think Puck is such a bad guy, why do you keep throwing me at him?” Kurt’s voice was so soft that he was afraid Mercedes might not have heard him. But from the way she shifted on swing, Kurt knew she had.
When she spoke, Mercedes sounded shocked but not completely. “I don’t think Puck is -”
“Yes, you do.” Kurt interrupted his best friend, because he really didn’t want her to try and cover up how she felt about Puck.
Honestly, Kurt knew that Puck was far from being Mr. Perfect. After all, not only had he made an art form out of torturing Kurt, but he’d gotten his (now ex) best friend’s girlfriend pregnant. And that did not a model boyfriend make.
But all of that aside, Kurt knew, had seen first hand, that there was so much more to Puck.
Before Quinn’s miscarriage, Kurt had caught small glimpses of Puck staring at the blonde or following her through the halls. Kurt had also heard rumors about how Puck had tried to be there for her and how he’d offered to take care of their baby. But more than that, he’d seen the pain in Puck’s face, felt the absolute desperation of what Puck was going through, when Puck had clung to him in the locker room.
And because that (and more), Kurt knew, without a doubt, that no matter the face Noah Puckerman presented to the world, he wasn’t a bad guy.
But Kurt wasn’t about to try and have that discussion with Mercedes. Not now anyway.
“But that’s not the point.” Kurt sighed as he tried to summon up the courage to ask his question again. “Why have you -”
This time, Mercedes interrupted him. “There’s something going on between you two. I can tell.” She paused but just long enough to take a deep breath. “And… I wanted you to get over Finn. So…”
“You pushed.” Kurt swallowed, as if her answer was a bitter pill that didn’t want to go down.
“Yeah, and I’m sorry. I know I’m repeating myself, but you’re my best friend.” Mercedes emphasized the last two words, and the extra weight of them caused Kurt a pang of guilt at not having confided in her. “And I don’t want to see you get hurt because this thing you’ve got for Finn…”
Kurt didn’t need Mercedes to finish her sentence; he already knew. But he didn’t have the heart to tell her that she was too late, that the pain had already begun.
Next to him, Mercedes had fallen quiet again, but instead of the ease of their silence before, Kurt could tell that she had something else to say. And the tension the unspoken words were creating was beginning to make Kurt’s skin crawl.
He thought about saying something, anything to try and break the uncomfortable silence, but Mercedes beat him to the punch.
“I’ve missed you, Kurt.” Mercedes sounded so upset that Kurt couldn’t help but look over at her. And when he did, he was surprised to see that her eyes were sparkling with unshed tears. “I feel like I’ve lost you.”
“I’m so sorry.” Kurt didn’t bother to try and keep the raw emotion out of his voice, because he knew that Mercedes needed to hear it and that in some ways, he did too. It wasn’t until that moment that Kurt realized just how strained their friendship had become.
After he finished speaking, Mercedes wiped away her tears with the back of her hand. Amazingly enough, she was giving him a watery smile and looking as if she felt all was forgiven.
But Kurt knew better.
He knew that even though they’d both apologized, there were things that had been left unsaid. Mostly on his part, of that he was sure, but all of that aside, Kurt was happy to have his best friend back in his corner. And he could only hope that the rest would work itself out in time.
“Well…” Even though Mercedes cheeks were shining with tears, her face was lit up like a homing beacon for gossip. “What’s going on with you and Puck?”
Kurt just laughed; the sound was half humor and half unrelieved stress. And when the remnants of it died away, Kurt gave Mercedes a completely honest answer. “I just don’t know.”
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
The dryer buzzed loudly, letting Kurt know that his laundry was finally done. Surprisingly enough, most of Kurt’s wardrobe was washing machine safe. Of course, there were a few extra special pieces like his Alexander McQueen sweater or his Michael Kors jacket that had to be dry cleaned. But for the most part, he was able to take care of everything himself.
Pulling open the dryer door, Kurt reached in and pulled out a warm pile of darks and threw them into the plastic laundry basket at his feet. Closing the door behind him, Kurt carried the load over of clothing over to his bed and sat down in the middle of it, folding his legs underneath himself. Once he was settled in, Kurt tipped the cream-colored basket over, letting clothes fall into a pile before him. Sighing to himself, he picked up a pair of Calvin Klein underwear and began to fold.
When he’d first moved into the basement three years ago, Burt had offered to move the washer and dryer into Kurt’s old room upstairs. And at first, Kurt had said yes, because the machines were so noisy and distracting. But due to the house’s electrical wiring, Burt had had to call in a professional to move them properly. (Lest the house burn down.)
But in the days leading up to the electrician’s appointment, Kurt had grown used to the sounds that the washer and dryer made. They’d become a soothing comfort to him, and Kurt had ended up asking his dad to cancel the electrician’s appointment. His father, though confused, had said ok, not bothering to ask why.
And in the years since moving into the basement, Kurt had come to not only like the sound of the appliances, but to actually enjoy doing his laundry as well. The repetitive motions of smoothing and folding the different articles brought him a sense of peace and calm that he found nowhere else.
So, like so many times before, Kurt sat on his bed, a pile of warm, fluffy, and freshly laundered clothing in front of him, feeling content. But just as he pulled out a shirt to hang up, his cell phone chirped annoyingly. Sighing, Kurt reached over and plucked his phone from its place on the bedside table, answering it before checking the number. “Hello?”
“Kurt? Hey.” Finn’s voice came through the small earpiece sounding confused and unsure. Any other time, that would have made Kurt smile. But tonight, after what had happened with Puck and Mercedes, it just irritated him.
“Finn.” Kurt’s voice was cold, and without realizing what he was doing, Kurt began balling up the shirt he’d picked up moments before, clenching it tightly in his fist.
“I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.” Finn’s words came out sounding like a rushed and jumbled mess, but Kurt had gotten the gist of it. And he believed Finn, because the sincerity in his tone was so palpable and because Finn just wasn’t that good a liar. But still, Kurt didn’t care.
“I’m not the one you need to apologize to.” Simple and to the point, it was the same thing he’d said to Mercedes only a few hours earlier.
The other end of the phone line went silent, but Kurt knew Finn was still there, because he could hear his breathing on the other end of the line. Kurt waited, not willing to make things any easier for Finn. And when the other boy finally spoke, Kurt was unsurprised to find a layer of poorly disguised anger in his tone.
“I just wanted to make sure that we were still on for tomorrow.” Finn’s words were stilted, as if it was painful for him to say them.
“Yes. After school in the auditorium.” Kurt didn’t bother trying to sound optimistic or excited, because truth be told, he just wasn’t.
Not anymore anyway.
In fact, the only reason he hadn’t canceled on Finn was because he’d said he’d help. And Kurt didn’t feeling right about backing out after agreeing. “I’ll meet you there.”
After saying goodbye, Kurt placed his phone back on the bedside table. It was only then that he realized he was crushing the shirt in his hands. Thoroughly irritated at himself for not noticing it sooner, Kurt prepared himself for a mess of wrinkles as he shook out the garment.
But when he saw what it was, Kurt gasped. Because in his hands was Puck’s ratty old Def Leppard t-shirt. And as he stared at it, Kurt was hit with a wave of nauseating certainty that ran bone deep…
Puck had seen Kurt sleeping in his shirt.
There was no way he couldn’t have. After all, Puck had tucked him in, made sure that he was covered before leaving. And if he was uncovered… that meant that whatever he’d been wearing was visible.
As much as he wished it weren’t true, Kurt knew it was. Puck wouldn’t have left it otherwise.
Squeeka Cuomo’s Notes
- The title and opening quote for this fic come from the beautiful Weezer song, “Put Me Back Together.” You can find it here.
- To my faithful readers and reviewers, thank you again. Thank you so very much. You have made this whole experience so wonderful for me. :duck:
- Quack: Thanks so much for everything. I couldn’t do this without your help and support.
- Reviews are love.
Put Me Back Together
Chapter 1: Kiss Me Goodbye
Chapter 2: Of Soirees and Sarongs
Chapter 3: Not So Subtle
Chapter 4: Late Arrivals
Chapter 5: Breaking Point
Chapter 6: Empty Hallway
Chapter 7: Cleaning up the Mess
Chapter 8: Dirty Laundry
Chapter 9: Gossip Mongers
Chapter 10: Just Breathe
Chapter 11: Damon Salvatore vs. Dexter Morgan
Chapter 12: Cloudy - Chance of Tension
Chapter 13: Pocket Squares
Part: Chapter 14: All Apologies
Author: Squeeka Cuomo
Rating: PG
Character(s)/Pairing(s): Kurt/Puck, Burt Hummel, Mercedes Jones, Finn Hudson, Quinn Fabray, Emma Pillsbury, Will Schuester, Tina Cohen-Chang, Artie Abrams, Rachel Berry, Santana Lopez, Brittany, Mike Chang, Matt Rutherford
Author’s Note: The title and opening quote for this fic come from the beautiful Weezer song, “Put Me Back Together.” You can find it here.
- I know there are tons of spoilers out for the upcoming episodes. Please don’t post them in the comments.
Warning: This takes place directly after “Sectionals.” Everything up to that point is considered fair game. There are spoilers if you haven’t seen the first 13 episodes.
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Summary: All it takes is one moment to break Kurt apart. How many will it take to put not only himself but Puck back together?
Put Me Back TogetherChapter 14: All Apologies
When Kurt pulled up in front of his house and saw Mercedes’ small red car parked in front of it, he was tempted to keep on driving.
Because…
He knew why she was there waiting for him and consequently, what was to come.
And after what had happened in rehearsal with Finn and afterward in the locker room with Puck, Kurt just didn’t think he could handle anymore today. All he really wanted to do was go inside, get his homework done, and settle in for a relaxing evening.
But deep down, Kurt knew that his night was going to be anything but.
So, resigning himself to his fate, Kurt pulled the Navigator into the driveway (making sure to leave space for his dad). However, before shutting off the engine, Kurt took a moment to just sit and let his head clear (Or, as much as he possibly could anyway.) As he sat, Kurt didn’t try to rally his defenses or come up with any arguments or counter arguments.
Instead, Kurt did his best to let his thoughts clear out completely, imaging that his mind was free of any stress or negativity. He knew that Mercedes was bound to be upset, but Kurt also knew that if he walked up to her with his proverbial guns drawn, things would only be worse.
Unable to avoid the inevitable any longer, Kurt took one last deep breath as he turned his keys and pulled them out of the ignition. And after grabbing his jacket and book bag, he headed towards his front door.
Kurt knew he should have walked over to her car first, but he didn’t. Because if he did, they would end up having their discussion in the street. And Kurt really didn’t want that to happen. He’d much rather be inside the safety of his own home when Mercedes confronted him.
But as he got closer to the front door, Kurt realized that she wasn’t following him. As he thought about that, Kurt noticed that he hadn’t heard her car door open or close as he’d walked towards his house. And try as he might, Kurt couldn’t make out any footsteps behind him.
Thoroughly confused, he stopped and turned to look back towards her car.
“I’m up here, Kurt.” Mercedes voice came from behind him, making him jump just a bit. When he turned back around, Kurt was surprised to find her sitting on the porch swing. Mercedes’ hands were folded in her lap, and her shoulders were slumped, almost in defeat.
“Oh, I…” Kurt’s voice trailed off as he took a few tentative steps towards his house. He wracked his brain for something else to say, but came up with nothing.
“Where ya’ been?” Mercedes’ question could very easily have come across as an accusation, but it hadn’t. Instead, Mercedes just sounded sad, as if she already knew the answer to the question, and it was one she didn’t like.
Walking up the porch steps, Kurt pressed his lips together, quickly debating how much he should tell the girl. “I was with…”
“Puck?” Mercedes noticed his hesitation, finishing Kurt’s answer for him. It was at that moment that Kurt realized she hadn’t really been asking the question, that she’d already known the answer.
And that irritated him.
“Yes, with Puck. And what about you? Did you and everyone else tend to Finn’s wounds?” Kurt’s voice was filled with sarcasm, and he could feel the anger twisting his face into an ugly sneer. Now he was standing in front of the girl, looking down at her on the swing.
Mercedes quickly registered his tone and dropped her eyes to her lap. When she looked up again, Mercedes’ eyes were full of sadness. “Look, I don’t want to fight. You’re my best friend. But…”
Kurt opened his mouth to speak, but Mercedes held up a hand to stop him.
“Something is going on with you.” Mercedes sighed as if she was dreading what she was about to say next. “You’ve been acting strange for a while now. And I want to be there for you, but you need to let me in.” Her voice was barely above a whisper, but Kurt felt as if she was screaming at him. “Please, Kurt.”
“Why did you side with Finn today?” The question was out of Kurt’s mouth before he even realized it was in his head. But as it hung in the air between them, Kurt felt his heartbeat speed up in anticipation of her answer. It was almost as if everything rode on what she would say next.
And much to Kurt’s amazement, Mercedes just slumped further into the porch swing. He’d expected her to protest, to refuse to answer his question before he answered hers. But instead, Kurt was met with something akin to defeat, or quite possibly, shame.
“I’m sorry, Kurt. I know…” Mercedes looked up into the air like the answer was there, waiting to be plucked like a star from the heavens. “I was stupid, and I shouldn’t have done that.”
“But you did.” It came out sounding much more accusatory than Kurt had meant for it to be. And he winced a little as Mercedes stared at him.
“I said it was stupid and that I was sorry.” Mercedes sat up a little in the seat, as if she’d regained some of her confidence. “I’m just so used to Finn being the good guy, you know?”
At that, Kurt wanted nothing more than to say, “Even when he’s got someone else’s blood on his hands?” But deep down, Kurt knew that if he did, that would be it. Mercedes’ patience for him would run out, and she’d get up and storm away. Then he’d be minus not only a friend, but his best friend. And that just wasn’t an option. So he kept his mouth shut, waiting for Mercedes to say something.
When he didn’t speak, Mercedes seemed to take that as her cue to keep talking. “Look, Finn is really sorry. Right after you and Puck left, he freaked out and started apologizing to everyone. He wanted to go after you -”
“Me?” Kurt interrupted Mercedes, thoroughly confused as to why Finn would want to come after him when he’d left with Puck. “What about -”
“Yes, you.” It was Mercedes’ turn to interrupt, and her tone very clearly said that Finn hadn’t wanted to see Puck. And more importantly, it said that Finn had no intention of making amends for what he’d done. “He wanted to apol-”
“I’m not the one Finn needs to apologize to.” Kurt could feel an angry blush creeping up the base of his neck, and he was doing everything he could to force it back down. But the idea of Finn chasing Kurt down to apologize for what he’d done to Puck while Kurt was with Puck…
And yet not apologize to Puck himself…
It angered Kurt so much that it made him feel sick to his stomach.
Mercedes, thankfully, seemed to not only sense his anger but also know that it wasn’t pointed at her. Because when she responded with a somber, “I know,” it also said, “And I totally understand why you’re upset.”
And because of that simple, intuitive understanding, Kurt could do nothing more than stare at his best friend as the back of his throat tightened up in irritation at Finn.
Unable to speak, Kurt moved over to the porch swing and sat down next to Mercedes, making sure to keep his new Prada bag off of the slatted seat. It was a cool November day, and there was a whisper of winter in the air. But it was nice enough for them to sit out on the swing without freezing. And for a few minutes, that was just what they did. Together they enjoyed the silence, allowing it to say all of the things they could not. Or would not.
But eventually, the spell either wore off or the silence simply became too much for Mercedes. (Kurt was positive that it was the latter, because in the time he’d known the girl, he’d never seen her go more than five minutes without talking. Unless they were in rehearsal or something like that, that was.)
“So…” Mercedes sounded tentative, which only served to twist Kurt’s stomach into knots, because Mercedes only hesitated when she had something truly important to say. “What’s going on with you and Puck? You didn’t even seem to care if Finn was ok today. And that’s just not like you. Normally you’re falling all over him.”
Kurt didn’t bite on her last statement, because, as much as he hated to admit it, she was totally right. But that wasn’t the only reason he didn’t come back with a snappy retort. No, he had a question that was much more important than throwing a little shade her way. “Can… Can I ask you something?” It was Kurt’s turn to stare down at his lap, but rather than examine his hands, Kurt picked at a non-existent thread on his bag.
“Umh, ok.” Even though Kurt couldn’t see her face, he could tell that Mercedes was confused, because it was more than evident in her tone. “But you’re not getting out of answering my question.”
Kurt just nodded. He could have said, “I know,” or “Do you honestly things I’m naive enough to think that you would be so easily dissuaded?” But he didn’t. Under normal circumstances, he could snark on command, but at that moment, Kurt just didn’t have it in him. Because their friendship was on the line, and he didn’t want to screw this up.
“If you think Puck is such a bad guy, why do you keep throwing me at him?” Kurt’s voice was so soft that he was afraid Mercedes might not have heard him. But from the way she shifted on swing, Kurt knew she had.
When she spoke, Mercedes sounded shocked but not completely. “I don’t think Puck is -”
“Yes, you do.” Kurt interrupted his best friend, because he really didn’t want her to try and cover up how she felt about Puck.
Honestly, Kurt knew that Puck was far from being Mr. Perfect. After all, not only had he made an art form out of torturing Kurt, but he’d gotten his (now ex) best friend’s girlfriend pregnant. And that did not a model boyfriend make.
But all of that aside, Kurt knew, had seen first hand, that there was so much more to Puck.
Before Quinn’s miscarriage, Kurt had caught small glimpses of Puck staring at the blonde or following her through the halls. Kurt had also heard rumors about how Puck had tried to be there for her and how he’d offered to take care of their baby. But more than that, he’d seen the pain in Puck’s face, felt the absolute desperation of what Puck was going through, when Puck had clung to him in the locker room.
And because that (and more), Kurt knew, without a doubt, that no matter the face Noah Puckerman presented to the world, he wasn’t a bad guy.
But Kurt wasn’t about to try and have that discussion with Mercedes. Not now anyway.
“But that’s not the point.” Kurt sighed as he tried to summon up the courage to ask his question again. “Why have you -”
This time, Mercedes interrupted him. “There’s something going on between you two. I can tell.” She paused but just long enough to take a deep breath. “And… I wanted you to get over Finn. So…”
“You pushed.” Kurt swallowed, as if her answer was a bitter pill that didn’t want to go down.
“Yeah, and I’m sorry. I know I’m repeating myself, but you’re my best friend.” Mercedes emphasized the last two words, and the extra weight of them caused Kurt a pang of guilt at not having confided in her. “And I don’t want to see you get hurt because this thing you’ve got for Finn…”
Kurt didn’t need Mercedes to finish her sentence; he already knew. But he didn’t have the heart to tell her that she was too late, that the pain had already begun.
Next to him, Mercedes had fallen quiet again, but instead of the ease of their silence before, Kurt could tell that she had something else to say. And the tension the unspoken words were creating was beginning to make Kurt’s skin crawl.
He thought about saying something, anything to try and break the uncomfortable silence, but Mercedes beat him to the punch.
“I’ve missed you, Kurt.” Mercedes sounded so upset that Kurt couldn’t help but look over at her. And when he did, he was surprised to see that her eyes were sparkling with unshed tears. “I feel like I’ve lost you.”
“I’m so sorry.” Kurt didn’t bother to try and keep the raw emotion out of his voice, because he knew that Mercedes needed to hear it and that in some ways, he did too. It wasn’t until that moment that Kurt realized just how strained their friendship had become.
After he finished speaking, Mercedes wiped away her tears with the back of her hand. Amazingly enough, she was giving him a watery smile and looking as if she felt all was forgiven.
But Kurt knew better.
He knew that even though they’d both apologized, there were things that had been left unsaid. Mostly on his part, of that he was sure, but all of that aside, Kurt was happy to have his best friend back in his corner. And he could only hope that the rest would work itself out in time.
“Well…” Even though Mercedes cheeks were shining with tears, her face was lit up like a homing beacon for gossip. “What’s going on with you and Puck?”
Kurt just laughed; the sound was half humor and half unrelieved stress. And when the remnants of it died away, Kurt gave Mercedes a completely honest answer. “I just don’t know.”
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
The dryer buzzed loudly, letting Kurt know that his laundry was finally done. Surprisingly enough, most of Kurt’s wardrobe was washing machine safe. Of course, there were a few extra special pieces like his Alexander McQueen sweater or his Michael Kors jacket that had to be dry cleaned. But for the most part, he was able to take care of everything himself.
Pulling open the dryer door, Kurt reached in and pulled out a warm pile of darks and threw them into the plastic laundry basket at his feet. Closing the door behind him, Kurt carried the load over of clothing over to his bed and sat down in the middle of it, folding his legs underneath himself. Once he was settled in, Kurt tipped the cream-colored basket over, letting clothes fall into a pile before him. Sighing to himself, he picked up a pair of Calvin Klein underwear and began to fold.
When he’d first moved into the basement three years ago, Burt had offered to move the washer and dryer into Kurt’s old room upstairs. And at first, Kurt had said yes, because the machines were so noisy and distracting. But due to the house’s electrical wiring, Burt had had to call in a professional to move them properly. (Lest the house burn down.)
But in the days leading up to the electrician’s appointment, Kurt had grown used to the sounds that the washer and dryer made. They’d become a soothing comfort to him, and Kurt had ended up asking his dad to cancel the electrician’s appointment. His father, though confused, had said ok, not bothering to ask why.
And in the years since moving into the basement, Kurt had come to not only like the sound of the appliances, but to actually enjoy doing his laundry as well. The repetitive motions of smoothing and folding the different articles brought him a sense of peace and calm that he found nowhere else.
So, like so many times before, Kurt sat on his bed, a pile of warm, fluffy, and freshly laundered clothing in front of him, feeling content. But just as he pulled out a shirt to hang up, his cell phone chirped annoyingly. Sighing, Kurt reached over and plucked his phone from its place on the bedside table, answering it before checking the number. “Hello?”
“Kurt? Hey.” Finn’s voice came through the small earpiece sounding confused and unsure. Any other time, that would have made Kurt smile. But tonight, after what had happened with Puck and Mercedes, it just irritated him.
“Finn.” Kurt’s voice was cold, and without realizing what he was doing, Kurt began balling up the shirt he’d picked up moments before, clenching it tightly in his fist.
“I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.” Finn’s words came out sounding like a rushed and jumbled mess, but Kurt had gotten the gist of it. And he believed Finn, because the sincerity in his tone was so palpable and because Finn just wasn’t that good a liar. But still, Kurt didn’t care.
“I’m not the one you need to apologize to.” Simple and to the point, it was the same thing he’d said to Mercedes only a few hours earlier.
The other end of the phone line went silent, but Kurt knew Finn was still there, because he could hear his breathing on the other end of the line. Kurt waited, not willing to make things any easier for Finn. And when the other boy finally spoke, Kurt was unsurprised to find a layer of poorly disguised anger in his tone.
“I just wanted to make sure that we were still on for tomorrow.” Finn’s words were stilted, as if it was painful for him to say them.
“Yes. After school in the auditorium.” Kurt didn’t bother trying to sound optimistic or excited, because truth be told, he just wasn’t.
Not anymore anyway.
In fact, the only reason he hadn’t canceled on Finn was because he’d said he’d help. And Kurt didn’t feeling right about backing out after agreeing. “I’ll meet you there.”
After saying goodbye, Kurt placed his phone back on the bedside table. It was only then that he realized he was crushing the shirt in his hands. Thoroughly irritated at himself for not noticing it sooner, Kurt prepared himself for a mess of wrinkles as he shook out the garment.
But when he saw what it was, Kurt gasped. Because in his hands was Puck’s ratty old Def Leppard t-shirt. And as he stared at it, Kurt was hit with a wave of nauseating certainty that ran bone deep…
Puck had seen Kurt sleeping in his shirt.
There was no way he couldn’t have. After all, Puck had tucked him in, made sure that he was covered before leaving. And if he was uncovered… that meant that whatever he’d been wearing was visible.
As much as he wished it weren’t true, Kurt knew it was. Puck wouldn’t have left it otherwise.
Squeeka Cuomo’s Notes
- The title and opening quote for this fic come from the beautiful Weezer song, “Put Me Back Together.” You can find it here.
- To my faithful readers and reviewers, thank you again. Thank you so very much. You have made this whole experience so wonderful for me. :duck:
- Quack: Thanks so much for everything. I couldn’t do this without your help and support.
- Reviews are love.
Put Me Back Together
Chapter 1: Kiss Me Goodbye
Chapter 2: Of Soirees and Sarongs
Chapter 3: Not So Subtle
Chapter 4: Late Arrivals
Chapter 5: Breaking Point
Chapter 6: Empty Hallway
Chapter 7: Cleaning up the Mess
Chapter 8: Dirty Laundry
Chapter 9: Gossip Mongers
Chapter 10: Just Breathe
Chapter 11: Damon Salvatore vs. Dexter Morgan
Chapter 12: Cloudy - Chance of Tension
Chapter 13: Pocket Squares