One Shot Fic: Cold Chicken and Warm Beer

[keeper_of_stars]

Title: Cold Chicken and Warm Beer
Author: Squeeka Cuomo
Rating: PG
Character(s)/Pairings: House/Wilson
Author Notes: This was written as a Secret Santa Christmas gift for anamatics as part of santa_house. Also written for alphabetasoup (R is for Relaxed).
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Summary: An inch away from knocking on the door, Wilson’s fist stopped, frozen by the sounds coming from

Comments

[cadeira]

House didn’t merely survive when music was around.
He thrived.

WOW! SRSLY!
The moment you captured in this piece was just perfect!

But, and I hope you don´t mind me noticing that...while reading the flow of words appears kind of monotonous because you start so many sentences with a gerund (don´t know if that´s the right term)
Fading, Stepping, Taking off, Opening..you see? All along the story-Then again it could be a stylistic device you employed to reflect the chanting mood of the piece (you even start with that song). And it seems that Wilson, although claiming that he has no way to express his feeling, in reality he has...and you show it in this mantra-like writing style which express his thoughts.Whatever it is, I noticed it very early.
And to me it´s a bit disturbing. But that can be personal. But I do like the way you develop the situation.
And even the "i love you" is not sappy because
“There are as many forms of love as there are moments in time.”

Great!

[keeper_of_stars]

Le sigh. To be honest with you, I wasn't trying to be witty or clever with my sentence structure. I wasn't trying to mirror Wilson's feelings with the form of my writing. That's just how I write. I hate starting sentences with 'the' or 'and' all the time. However, I don't see what's disturbing about it. It's just my writing style.

Anyway, thanks for the review. I'm glad you liked it.

[cadeira]

Maybe disturbing wan´t the right expression. I mean, if I present a story in this community (and I´m working on my first one) I would be glad to have some remarks in the comments on language and structure and so on. Also because English is not my native language. So I just wanted to mention what I noticed. That was all.

[keeper_of_stars]

I do appreciate the comments but that makes me wonder (and worry) if the rest of my fics are that way. Becaus like I said, that's just how I write. So now I'm really paranoid about it. Hopefully its something that I can work on in the future.

Thank you.

[pandatini]

awwwwwwwww, that is so sweet and cute and perfect. *loves it* <3

[keeper_of_stars]

Thank you. I'm glad that you enjoyed it. :)

[bmax67]

Wow, this was so touching. One of those rare moments when we catch House at his most vulnerable.

I always loved that scene too. You did a great job with it.

[keeper_of_stars]

Thank you so much. I'm glad that you liked it. That scene... just the looks on their faces. It's one of my favorite moments of the entire series so far. So beautiful.

Thanks again. :)

[feanix]

I love the mention of the place between awake and asleep...

Not a Peter Pan fan, by any chance??

[keeper_of_stars]

No actually I'm not. It's more me often finding myself in that really hazy place between awake and sleep and wanting to find words for it. I'm always so comfortable then. :P

Thank you. :)

[ciara__mist]

This was soo adorable!! I love it! ;D cute!

[keeper_of_stars]

Aww, thanks. Glad you liked it! :)