With Shawn, we were on & off. The best & worst thing to happen to eachother. Sometimes I'd end it, sometimes he'd end it. When we actually broke up, for good, I could tell his heart wasn't in it. It was little things like we'd be sitting on the couch watching dvds and it used to be we'd cuddle and it would be affectionate, you know, playing with eachother's fingers or he'd stroke my hair. Towards the final end, we still sat on the couch watching dvds and we'd cuddle but it was mechanical. Do you know what I mean? Our position was robotic. No tenderness. & I used to do the bookwork for his business. If we were talking shop, say if I'd just done his monthly BAS or something, it used to be "Thanks, love you" or "You're the best" ... things like that. Then it just became "Ok thankyou". I realised the last time we had sex though. He just got up and went to leave the room and I knew that anything we had was gone. Sigh
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