Nightminds ~ Chapter 11
Title: Nightminds
Chapter: 11 of ?
Author: spygirl690
Disclaimer: Wow I wish they were mine, but they aren't. So don't sue me.
Rating: R to NC17
Paring: Batman/Joker
Warning: drug use, language, sex, graphic violence in later chapters
Summary: This story examines the months Bruce spent at Princeton before returning to start his journey in Batman Begins. The title was inspired by the Missy Higgins song Nightminds
.
Beta: my beta is currently MIA I have my best friend and his wife (ironically, also my best friend) for looking this over for me.
Find all previous chapters of Nightminds here
Chapter 11
Bruce hiked the messenger bag further up on his shoulder as he walked past the large trees lining the walkway to his apartment building. Walking to and from classes was getting to be more and more of a pain as the New Jersey temperature continued to decline. He couldn't help but laugh at the irony that the most exclusive apartment building on campus was such a distance away. There was a curbside valet shuttle service but Bruce would rather freeze in the cold than have someone drive him the few hundred feet to class. Only the most pompous of the “elite” would have the gall to do something like that. As if the universe wanted to prove his point, Bruce saw Belzer getting out of a car pulled up to the curb.
The blond wannabe aristocrat looked annoyed as he barked into his cellphone, “it's green. You couldn't put it with her? Well get it in somehow. I'm not paying you to make mistakes.”
Belzer slammed the phone shut and shoved it in his pocket. Bruce caught up to Belzer as he started walking towards the entrance to the building.
“The world not bending to your whim, Belzer?” Bruce couldn't help prodding the already antsy Belzer.
Belzer turned and gave Bruce a look of superiority as he brushed his hair back, “nothing for a dumpster diver like you to be concerned with.”
Bruce laughed out loud as he pushed past Belzer and walked into the lobby.
“You might want to watch out with who you associate with Bruce, it could get you into trouble.”
Bruce rolled his eyes as, staring at the elevator doors as they opened, not wanting to grace Adrian's ego driven comment with a reply. Bruce stepped into the elevator and watched the doors close in on Belzer and another one of his comments about Jack being a “fag.”
Belzer's hatred of Jack boarded on irrational. Bruce wanted to ask Jack about it at the party on Saturday but he didn't want to ruin the great conversation they were having. He hadn't seen Jack since then; midterms were closing in and Bruce was busy gathering his work for the large projects the teachers were sure to assign in the upcoming weeks. Jack stopped by last night to invite him to a party but Bruce was too busy to go. Bruce tried to convince him to stay and study, but Jack seemed to have other plans.
Bruce stepped out of the elevator and he heard noises coming from his apartment. His senses on alert, he crept towards his door. Bruce turned the key and opened the door in one quick movement.
At seeing the situation, Bruce let out a growl of frustration, “Jack, you scared the shit out of me. I thought someone was breaking into my apartment.”
Jack was lying back on the large sofa at the far end of the room, he sat up at the sound of Bruce's entrance.
“You, Bruce Wayne, are a liar and a fraud,” at any other time Bruce would have laughed but the casual tone Jack usually had in his voice was gone and replaced with a cold voice, thick with anger.
Bruce shook his head in disbelief, trying to make sense of the harsh welcome.
“You break into my apartment just to insult me,” Bruce's sentence was cut short as he almost tripped over a small pile of his things dropped in the middle of the living room floor.
“You were the one who told the Bellman to let me in whenever I wanted.”
Bruce was only half listening as he bent down to look at what was on the floor; some movies and clothing - all things he'd lent to Jack.
“Jack,” Bruce looked up at Jack from the floor, “what is going on?”
Jack stood from the sofa and raised his left hand, which was clutching a maroon leather bound book.
“Actually, I came here at first to surprise you. But then I found this,” Jack's face was no longer filled with the jovial smile Bruce had known for weeks. Now there were hard lines of displeasure surrounding Jack's eyes and mouth.
Bruce felt the ground drop out from under him as he recognized the book in Jack's hands - his journal.
Bruce always thought it was a trivial task but somehow writing his thoughts down helped him sort through them. But he knew he would never leave this out in the open. Not with what it said in it. His eyes flicked towards the locked shelving unit he kept his book in. The door was wide open, a careless act that Bruce would never commit.
Now it was time for Bruce to get angry as he stood up, facing Jack.
“You went through my things?”
“Well, Brucie, I was bored. You really dawdle after class ends. Nothing good on TV. But this,” Jack held the book up again, “this was far better entertainment than anything that clicking tube could bring me.”
“You have no right...”
“May 5, 1997, Amsterdam,” Jack's voice cut him off as he read out loud from the book in front of him, “I have no idea what happened last night or should I say, more accurately why what happened last night happened. I have never, not for a moment thought of a man in that way. But the group of us were standing on the sidelines watching as the Queensday parade rolled past. Mark's nagging finally pushed me to give in and try some of the special cookies he'd bought. I don't know what was in them. I was still reeling from seeing that man who looked like my father a few days before. I just wanted to forget.... bla bla bla...”
“Stop,” Bruce felt paralyzed as his words were repeated back to him.
“Let's cut to the good part shall we? 'Suddenly a man was there, his hands slid around my waist. I don't know how long I'd been crying. I don't know what he said, only that it felt comforting. He kissed me and then it was like time fast forwarded. My memories from then on are just clips of touches, colors and movements. I woke up the next day naked beside him in some hotel on the outskirts of town. I just don't understand why I don't feel disgusted by this whole event or how this reflects on me. I need to understand, to make sense of this'...” Jack looked up from the book, “well then it's about four pages of oh why did I do that self pity drivel.”
Bruce felt movement come back to him as soon as Jack stopped speaking. He took two huge strides forward and grabbed the book out of Jack's hand.
Jack's smile made him clench his fist at his sides.
“What's the matter, Bruce? Afraid because your dirty little secret is out?”
“You had no right to do this. What are you even doing here? Get out!”
“As I said I was here to surprise you but then I found that. That little piece of evidence that shown me everything you've told me is a lie,” Jack sidestepped Bruce and started walking to the door.
Bruce's hand quickly grabbed Jack as he passed, “nothing I told you was a lie.”
“Oh I beg to differ. See, we had a bit of a ping-pong game going, you and I,” Jacks hands swung back and forth to imitate the game, “I'd say a truth and then you'd say a truth. It was working out very well. But there was something you left out - something you neglected to tell me.”
“That was none of your business,” Bruce's hold went slack as he struggled inwardly with the entire situation. He was furious with Jack for snooping around his apartment. But at the same time, he couldn't fault Jack for being mad. That “game” Jack was referring to was the basis for their entire relationship. Whether Bruce wanted to admit it or not, he had broken the rules.
“Time is money, as they say, and spending time with you has cost me far more than a few coins in my pocket. So there are your things,” Jack pulled away from Bruce's grasp, “don't come near me again.”
Bruce watched as Jack turned and walked out of the room, gracefully shutting the door behind him with a quiet click. He walked over to the couch and sat down with a sigh.
Jack was right. This...whatever it was between them had cost them both far too much. Bruce couldn't afford to be distracted by Jack anymore. With Jack he actually felt like he had a choice and maybe some control over his own life. That was a careless feeling he couldn't indulge in anymore. This was always coming, Bruce knew it was just a matter of time. He slid the bag off his shoulder and put a few books on the coffee table in front of him, content to let all of the memories of Jack slide from his mind.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Bruce woke the next morning feeling like the heaviness of the previous day was gone. He got ready thinking about his paper for his upcoming class and didn't let his thoughts rest on Jack for more than a second. The fine box he'd created around his feelings over the years surrounded him again and he felt secure in his numb apathy towards the world. He got ready for class then grabbed a coffee at the cafe downstairs, feeling like all was right with the world again.
As Bruce walked across the quad he heard a female voice calling his name. He turned to see a face he couldn't quite recognize several steps behind him. He stopped and the girl quickly caught up. Bruce recognized her as she stood catching her breath.
“What can I do for you, Ellie?”
She did look different without the raver makeup on.
“They've come to get Jack. They think his drugs might have caused it.”
“What? Whose coming for Jack?” Bruce felt uneasy when he saw the girls eyes widen with fear.
“You don't know? Some girl died of an OD at a party Tuesday night. They said the drugs were bad and they're trying to find the source,” Ellie was moving erratically as she told the story, “they've already pulled in a few people from campus for questioning and now they're in Jack's room, tearing it apart.”
“What? They can't do that,” Bruce was filtering the little he'd learned about law in his head.
“They can and they are. Jack isn't there now but when he gets back they're going to take him.”
Bruce struggled with worrying about Jack's current situation and the residual anger he felt about Jack's actions yesterday.
“He decided to deal, why should I care?”
Ellie shook her head, “listen I've never liked him either but he's the only person on campus who wouldn't give you something laced with god-knows-what.”
“Hmph, so this is about the drugs? You know...”
Ellie cut him off, “fuck that. I thought you guys were friends. But if you are just going to let him hang then go to class, bury your nose in your books and pretend this conversation never happened.”
Ellie stormed off before he could say another word.
Bruce stood there, stunned from the news. He thought about the past few weeks with Jack. He had never really had a friend who he connected with like he did with Jack. But the anger from last night kept creeping up in his mind. Then, though the blur of memories, wheels started to turn and pieces in his mind were slowly brought together. Fragments of conversations he had with Jack jutted forward in his mind.
Bruce remembered the time he wouldn't let those girls get more drugs,“A dead customer is bad for business...”
Sitting next to him on the couch, being that honest with someone for the first time in a very long time about his parent's death.
Laughing when they were studying; talking as they walked to class...the memories came rushing faster and faster. They all led up to one statement in Bruce's mind - Jack's actions last night didn't add up. Jack was a person who loved to jab at people to get information out of them. That was the fun of it for him. Just opening a book and getting it wasn't his style.
Tuesday was two days ago. Did Jack know about what happened yesterday? Why didn't he tell me? Bruce's mind went quiet as it read the answer on the surface of his heart.
“You might want to watch out with who you associate with Bruce, it could get you into trouble.”
Belzer's words made Bruce's world come to a sudden pause. Jack did know what was going on. That's why Jack paid an early visit to Bruce. That's why Jack looked so hard to find something to hurt Bruce with. Something that would push Bruce away - to keep him from getting involved.
The coffee in Bruce's hand fell to the grass as another memory fired through his mind. Bruce didn't complete his thoughts before he turned and started running in the direction of Jack's dorm.
Belzer, he had been saying something when he got out of the car the other day. Putting something green with a girl, paying someone not to make mistakes.
Everything was coming together in Bruce's mind now. He pushed through a group of students, breaking into a full run as he hit the sidewalk. In the distance he could see police cruisers parked in the driveway of Jack's building.
Jack was going to go to jail and Bruce knew Belzer was behind it.
I can't thank my amazing readers enough for their patience while I got this chapter out. I may need another beta. I have several people who have already expressed interest.
Chapter: 11 of ?
Author: spygirl690
Disclaimer: Wow I wish they were mine, but they aren't. So don't sue me.
Rating: R to NC17
Paring: Batman/Joker
Warning: drug use, language, sex, graphic violence in later chapters
Summary: This story examines the months Bruce spent at Princeton before returning to start his journey in Batman Begins. The title was inspired by the Missy Higgins song Nightminds
.
Beta: my beta is currently MIA I have my best friend and his wife (ironically, also my best friend) for looking this over for me.
Find all previous chapters of Nightminds here
Chapter 11
Bruce hiked the messenger bag further up on his shoulder as he walked past the large trees lining the walkway to his apartment building. Walking to and from classes was getting to be more and more of a pain as the New Jersey temperature continued to decline. He couldn't help but laugh at the irony that the most exclusive apartment building on campus was such a distance away. There was a curbside valet shuttle service but Bruce would rather freeze in the cold than have someone drive him the few hundred feet to class. Only the most pompous of the “elite” would have the gall to do something like that. As if the universe wanted to prove his point, Bruce saw Belzer getting out of a car pulled up to the curb.
The blond wannabe aristocrat looked annoyed as he barked into his cellphone, “it's green. You couldn't put it with her? Well get it in somehow. I'm not paying you to make mistakes.”
Belzer slammed the phone shut and shoved it in his pocket. Bruce caught up to Belzer as he started walking towards the entrance to the building.
“The world not bending to your whim, Belzer?” Bruce couldn't help prodding the already antsy Belzer.
Belzer turned and gave Bruce a look of superiority as he brushed his hair back, “nothing for a dumpster diver like you to be concerned with.”
Bruce laughed out loud as he pushed past Belzer and walked into the lobby.
“You might want to watch out with who you associate with Bruce, it could get you into trouble.”
Bruce rolled his eyes as, staring at the elevator doors as they opened, not wanting to grace Adrian's ego driven comment with a reply. Bruce stepped into the elevator and watched the doors close in on Belzer and another one of his comments about Jack being a “fag.”
Belzer's hatred of Jack boarded on irrational. Bruce wanted to ask Jack about it at the party on Saturday but he didn't want to ruin the great conversation they were having. He hadn't seen Jack since then; midterms were closing in and Bruce was busy gathering his work for the large projects the teachers were sure to assign in the upcoming weeks. Jack stopped by last night to invite him to a party but Bruce was too busy to go. Bruce tried to convince him to stay and study, but Jack seemed to have other plans.
Bruce stepped out of the elevator and he heard noises coming from his apartment. His senses on alert, he crept towards his door. Bruce turned the key and opened the door in one quick movement.
At seeing the situation, Bruce let out a growl of frustration, “Jack, you scared the shit out of me. I thought someone was breaking into my apartment.”
Jack was lying back on the large sofa at the far end of the room, he sat up at the sound of Bruce's entrance.
“You, Bruce Wayne, are a liar and a fraud,” at any other time Bruce would have laughed but the casual tone Jack usually had in his voice was gone and replaced with a cold voice, thick with anger.
Bruce shook his head in disbelief, trying to make sense of the harsh welcome.
“You break into my apartment just to insult me,” Bruce's sentence was cut short as he almost tripped over a small pile of his things dropped in the middle of the living room floor.
“You were the one who told the Bellman to let me in whenever I wanted.”
Bruce was only half listening as he bent down to look at what was on the floor; some movies and clothing - all things he'd lent to Jack.
“Jack,” Bruce looked up at Jack from the floor, “what is going on?”
Jack stood from the sofa and raised his left hand, which was clutching a maroon leather bound book.
“Actually, I came here at first to surprise you. But then I found this,” Jack's face was no longer filled with the jovial smile Bruce had known for weeks. Now there were hard lines of displeasure surrounding Jack's eyes and mouth.
Bruce felt the ground drop out from under him as he recognized the book in Jack's hands - his journal.
Bruce always thought it was a trivial task but somehow writing his thoughts down helped him sort through them. But he knew he would never leave this out in the open. Not with what it said in it. His eyes flicked towards the locked shelving unit he kept his book in. The door was wide open, a careless act that Bruce would never commit.
Now it was time for Bruce to get angry as he stood up, facing Jack.
“You went through my things?”
“Well, Brucie, I was bored. You really dawdle after class ends. Nothing good on TV. But this,” Jack held the book up again, “this was far better entertainment than anything that clicking tube could bring me.”
“You have no right...”
“May 5, 1997, Amsterdam,” Jack's voice cut him off as he read out loud from the book in front of him, “I have no idea what happened last night or should I say, more accurately why what happened last night happened. I have never, not for a moment thought of a man in that way. But the group of us were standing on the sidelines watching as the Queensday parade rolled past. Mark's nagging finally pushed me to give in and try some of the special cookies he'd bought. I don't know what was in them. I was still reeling from seeing that man who looked like my father a few days before. I just wanted to forget.... bla bla bla...”
“Stop,” Bruce felt paralyzed as his words were repeated back to him.
“Let's cut to the good part shall we? 'Suddenly a man was there, his hands slid around my waist. I don't know how long I'd been crying. I don't know what he said, only that it felt comforting. He kissed me and then it was like time fast forwarded. My memories from then on are just clips of touches, colors and movements. I woke up the next day naked beside him in some hotel on the outskirts of town. I just don't understand why I don't feel disgusted by this whole event or how this reflects on me. I need to understand, to make sense of this'...” Jack looked up from the book, “well then it's about four pages of oh why did I do that self pity drivel.”
Bruce felt movement come back to him as soon as Jack stopped speaking. He took two huge strides forward and grabbed the book out of Jack's hand.
Jack's smile made him clench his fist at his sides.
“What's the matter, Bruce? Afraid because your dirty little secret is out?”
“You had no right to do this. What are you even doing here? Get out!”
“As I said I was here to surprise you but then I found that. That little piece of evidence that shown me everything you've told me is a lie,” Jack sidestepped Bruce and started walking to the door.
Bruce's hand quickly grabbed Jack as he passed, “nothing I told you was a lie.”
“Oh I beg to differ. See, we had a bit of a ping-pong game going, you and I,” Jacks hands swung back and forth to imitate the game, “I'd say a truth and then you'd say a truth. It was working out very well. But there was something you left out - something you neglected to tell me.”
“That was none of your business,” Bruce's hold went slack as he struggled inwardly with the entire situation. He was furious with Jack for snooping around his apartment. But at the same time, he couldn't fault Jack for being mad. That “game” Jack was referring to was the basis for their entire relationship. Whether Bruce wanted to admit it or not, he had broken the rules.
“Time is money, as they say, and spending time with you has cost me far more than a few coins in my pocket. So there are your things,” Jack pulled away from Bruce's grasp, “don't come near me again.”
Bruce watched as Jack turned and walked out of the room, gracefully shutting the door behind him with a quiet click. He walked over to the couch and sat down with a sigh.
Jack was right. This...whatever it was between them had cost them both far too much. Bruce couldn't afford to be distracted by Jack anymore. With Jack he actually felt like he had a choice and maybe some control over his own life. That was a careless feeling he couldn't indulge in anymore. This was always coming, Bruce knew it was just a matter of time. He slid the bag off his shoulder and put a few books on the coffee table in front of him, content to let all of the memories of Jack slide from his mind.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Bruce woke the next morning feeling like the heaviness of the previous day was gone. He got ready thinking about his paper for his upcoming class and didn't let his thoughts rest on Jack for more than a second. The fine box he'd created around his feelings over the years surrounded him again and he felt secure in his numb apathy towards the world. He got ready for class then grabbed a coffee at the cafe downstairs, feeling like all was right with the world again.
As Bruce walked across the quad he heard a female voice calling his name. He turned to see a face he couldn't quite recognize several steps behind him. He stopped and the girl quickly caught up. Bruce recognized her as she stood catching her breath.
“What can I do for you, Ellie?”
She did look different without the raver makeup on.
“They've come to get Jack. They think his drugs might have caused it.”
“What? Whose coming for Jack?” Bruce felt uneasy when he saw the girls eyes widen with fear.
“You don't know? Some girl died of an OD at a party Tuesday night. They said the drugs were bad and they're trying to find the source,” Ellie was moving erratically as she told the story, “they've already pulled in a few people from campus for questioning and now they're in Jack's room, tearing it apart.”
“What? They can't do that,” Bruce was filtering the little he'd learned about law in his head.
“They can and they are. Jack isn't there now but when he gets back they're going to take him.”
Bruce struggled with worrying about Jack's current situation and the residual anger he felt about Jack's actions yesterday.
“He decided to deal, why should I care?”
Ellie shook her head, “listen I've never liked him either but he's the only person on campus who wouldn't give you something laced with god-knows-what.”
“Hmph, so this is about the drugs? You know...”
Ellie cut him off, “fuck that. I thought you guys were friends. But if you are just going to let him hang then go to class, bury your nose in your books and pretend this conversation never happened.”
Ellie stormed off before he could say another word.
Bruce stood there, stunned from the news. He thought about the past few weeks with Jack. He had never really had a friend who he connected with like he did with Jack. But the anger from last night kept creeping up in his mind. Then, though the blur of memories, wheels started to turn and pieces in his mind were slowly brought together. Fragments of conversations he had with Jack jutted forward in his mind.
Bruce remembered the time he wouldn't let those girls get more drugs,“A dead customer is bad for business...”
Sitting next to him on the couch, being that honest with someone for the first time in a very long time about his parent's death.
Laughing when they were studying; talking as they walked to class...the memories came rushing faster and faster. They all led up to one statement in Bruce's mind - Jack's actions last night didn't add up. Jack was a person who loved to jab at people to get information out of them. That was the fun of it for him. Just opening a book and getting it wasn't his style.
Tuesday was two days ago. Did Jack know about what happened yesterday? Why didn't he tell me? Bruce's mind went quiet as it read the answer on the surface of his heart.
“You might want to watch out with who you associate with Bruce, it could get you into trouble.”
Belzer's words made Bruce's world come to a sudden pause. Jack did know what was going on. That's why Jack paid an early visit to Bruce. That's why Jack looked so hard to find something to hurt Bruce with. Something that would push Bruce away - to keep him from getting involved.
The coffee in Bruce's hand fell to the grass as another memory fired through his mind. Bruce didn't complete his thoughts before he turned and started running in the direction of Jack's dorm.
Belzer, he had been saying something when he got out of the car the other day. Putting something green with a girl, paying someone not to make mistakes.
Everything was coming together in Bruce's mind now. He pushed through a group of students, breaking into a full run as he hit the sidewalk. In the distance he could see police cruisers parked in the driveway of Jack's building.
Jack was going to go to jail and Bruce knew Belzer was behind it.
I can't thank my amazing readers enough for their patience while I got this chapter out. I may need another beta. I have several people who have already expressed interest.