Not As Dumb [FAKE, Ryo/Dee, PG-13 (NC-17 overall)] [part 1 of 6]
Title: Not As Dumb [1/6]
Author: bronze_ribbons
Rating: PG-13 for now, but heading towards NC-17 overall
Warnings: stalking, swearing, and other unsavory stuff
Word count for part 1: ~ 2000 words
Summary: Ryo receives a peculiar present. Dee doesn't like it one bit.
A/N: The prompt was "ryo/dee: handcuffs, police business"; I was thinking "teeny fluffy PWP with sweet bondage" when I claimed it, but then the plotbunny hopped sideways and all hell broke loose. [ETA 2/3/09: I was originally hoping to finish this by Valentine's Day 2009, but it's almost certainly going to take three more parts and I'm short on spare time at the moment. But I'm still working on it! Promise!]
Timeline: Several years after Like, Like, Love. Includes references to first season extras and the second season (through "chapter 5," which was in HUG 2008/04). This story assumes that the SCIU was dissolved after a couple years and the guys all got transferred back to the 27th -- both for convenience's sake and because the building depicted in various panels of LLL is of the 27th rather than the 52nd.
When the first pair of handcuffs slid out of the padded envelope addressed to him, Ryo immediately narrowed his eyes at Dee. He hadn't recognized the block printing on the label, but he still half-expected to see his lover suggestively smirking or openly grinning at him.
Instead, Dee turned white as a sheet and then fainted dead away.
Ryo lunged forward, pulling Dee away from the floor lamp he had nearly crashed into as he fell. Forcing training to override panic, Ryo swiftly checked Dee's airways and pulse and -- crap, there wasn't anything within reach for elevating the legs. Circulation: Loosen any constricting clothing-- Dee's collar was already open, and his sleeves rolled up, so Ryo busied himself with undoing Dee's belt. He'd just pulled its tip free of the buckle when Dee stirred.
"Whaa-- whoa." Dee croaked out. Confused green eyes tried to focus on worried black ones. "What the hell happened? I usually feel a lot better than this when you're taking off my pants."
"I should hope so," Ryo said. "You usually don't faint at the sight of handcuffs, either."
"I don't-- oh. Oh shit. Those." Dee's indignation dissolved into dismay as he recalled the packet Ryo had opened. "Um, whadja do with them?"
Ryo waved vaguely toward the spot where he'd been standing, going through the mail. The handcuffs were on the floor nearby, their hard steel curves gleaming against weathered hardwood. They were a different model than the ones issued by the NYPD: the bracelets were connected by a thick black metal plate rather than a chain. From a distance, they resembled a distorted giant bottle opener.
"Ah." Dee swallowed. "Um, yeah. Bit of a story there."
"Tell it," Ryo ordered. "I'm not letting you sit up until you do."
"Woe is me," Dee joked. "I'll just have to let you do all the work."
Ryo grinned in spite of himself. "I didn't hear you complaining the last time I did."
"Huh," Dee said. "Maybe I should faint more often."
Ryo's grin instantly vanished. "Don't you dare."
Dee's eyes widened. "Did you just hit your head? You did not just think I was serious."
"Uhm..." Ryo looked both sheepish and pained. "Cripes. I do need a vacation, don't I."
Dee started to nod emphatically, but then winced -- he hadn't hit the floor hard, but it had caught him square on the side of his head. He settled for saying, "I've been telling you that for weeks. You oughta listen to me more."
"If I paid attention to half of the things you say, I'd never get anything done."
"That's not true. You'd be doing me more often--"
"Dee, you are so immature."
"I am not imma-- why the fuck are you smiling?"
"You sound so you," Ryo said, his voice suffused with open relief. "Not like someone who was out cold a minute ago."
Dee smiled back. "Nope, nothing to worry about."
"I didn't say that. You did faint, buddy." Ryo jerked his head toward the handcuffs. "Explain."
Dee scowled at the hoops, clearly wishing that they'd suddenly sink through the floor and disappear. When they failed to oblige him by doing so, he heaved a disappointed sigh.
Ryo tapped him on the nose. "The longer you stall, the more tempted I'm gonna be to cross-examine you."
"Jeez, Ryo, at least let me get in a few lies first." Dee aimed a last baleful glare at the handcuffs and then let his head fall back. "When I was a kid, there was a girl. Anna. Five, six years older than me, maybe? She worked at the orphanage for a couple of weeks. We were passing by a flea market, and there was a pair just like those. She claimed she knew some guy who'd pay good money for them, so I pinched them for her." Dee shrugged. "I didn't really believe her about the guy, but she was cute and I was bored."
Ryo rolled his eyes. "Didn't we collar some punk for something like that just last week? Thank God Bikky never wanted to impress anyone besides Carol."
"Carol wouldn't have been impressed by this. The guy I nicked the cuffs from, he was pretty out of it -- the way you tend to be, in fact."
"Brat." Annoyed, Ryo swatted at Dee, but Dee easily captured Ryo's hand before it could land on him. "So Anna was wildly impressed with your handcuff-stealing prowess?"
"She never did pay me, and she quit Mother's with no notice. Dude, you're ridiculous when you try to pretend you don't care." Dee chuckled as he blocked Ryo's other arm in mid-swing. "I'm jealous of everyone you've ever had a crush on too, so I like it when you're this stupid. Just as long as you're not freezing me out."
Ryo gave up and stretched out over Dee, mumbling something that sounded suspiciously like "patronizing prick." Dee sighed happily, enjoying the warm weight of Ryo's body on top of his and his lover's grumpy nuzzling at his shoulder.
If only he could keep the creeps and lunatics away from his Ryo. Dee thought he'd gotten a break when Berkeley Rose had finally married Diana Spacey; Rose hadn't actually hit on Ryo in years, but the commish being at last on Freakella's leash had still delighted Dee beyond measure. Their engagement had coincided with JJ Adams's deciding to leave him the fuck alone for good and transferring all the deranged tackleglomping and demented shrieks of "SENPAI!!!" to Drake, who had actually thrived as the target of the little maniac's adoration: in the course of dating JJ, Drake had become more physically fit and mentally agile than his friends had ever known him to be -- so much that it had surprised no one when he received his promotion to detective second grade the same year Ryo got graded up to first. Drake's transformation had started around the time that Bikky had left for college, which Dee had regarded as another gladsome milestone: fond as he'd become of the kid, Dee had been overjoyed at the prospect of more unadulterated adult-only Ryo-time up for grabs.
Looking back, Dee couldn't believe he'd been deluded enough to imagine their lives becoming less mayhem-ridden. There had been the tattoo artist who had kept sending them sketches that Ryo hadn't posed for -- lovingly rendered sketches in which he'd depicted his fantasies of a stark naked Ryo, wearing only the elaborate swirls of ink the man had longed to inscribe across Ryo's skin. There had been the cat hoarder who had secretly deposited a kitten in front of their apartment door every sixth day for three months -- and then tried to strangle Ryo with a knitted scarf when he'd admitted all of her intended love tokens had ended up at Animal Care & Control (Dee still couldn't believe Ryo had tried to reason with the woman; it was true that their lease didn't allow pets, but Ryo had been crazy to think that a crazy woman would have cared about that). There had been the oboe-playing freak who had repeatedly scaled up their building to serenade Ryo with off-key covers of Billy Joel songs; Dee would never forgive the guy for ruining "The Longest Time" for him, but he'd also laughed his ass off when JJ presented Ryo with a roll of toilet paper -- one with its sheets imprinted with the Piano Man's greatest hits.
There were also the people who hated Ryo because they hated cops, and then there were the people who really hated Ryo because he was really good at being a cop. Dee had his own enemies, of course, but Ryo somehow had a knack for collecting adversaries motivated enough to seek revenge on him. Dee was no Einstein, but he was justifiably proud of his ability to outsmart and outmaneuver said adversaries, regularly putting them back out of commission before their attempts on Ryo could succeed; when he got graded up to second, it had shocked the majority of his acquaintances and colleagues, but not the ones aware of his extended, exhaustive, and sometimes superhuman efforts to keep his partner healthy and whole. That the rest of society happened to benefit from his zeal was nice, but neither Rose nor Diana nor his friends at the 27th were under any illusions about its source: they all knew Dee was capable enough when he had someone specific to protect or rescue, such as a lost girl or a kidnapped boy or a threatened colleague, but whenever he detected danger specifically trying to sink its claws into his Ryo, Dee became not only dedicated but driven.
He usually had more to work with than handcuffs appearing out of nowhere, however. Tightening his arms around Ryo, Dee turned his head to glare at the mystery manacles.
"Is there anyone you can think of who might be trying to get at you through me?" Ryo's voice was deceptively calm. "Because, if there is, they had better think again before I run into them."
Dee said, "It wouldn't be Anna, if that's what you're wondering."
Ryo traced a scar on Dee's collarbone with his index finger. "You've kept track of her?"
"After she bailed on Mother, I forgot all about her -- didn't give her a thought for years. Not until my second month as a cop. Mikva and me, we answered a call about an apartment smelling nasty..."
Ryo quietly said, "Found her there, did you?"
"And the handcuffs too, around what was left of her wrists."
"Ever catch the perp?"
"No."
They fell silent again, each contemplating old memories and new unpleasant possibilities.
Eventually, Ryo suggested, "They might just be a prank."
"I'd really love to think that." Dee's expression was bleak.
"Then think that for now." Ryo slid his hands into Dee's. "No sense borrowing trouble ahead of time."
"What I think," Dee growled, "is that you're an insanity magnet."
"It's not my fault," Ryo protested. "It's not like I'm encouraging them."
"You're not," Dee conceded. "You don't have to. You're breathing, they're encouraged."
"Says the man who kissed me my second day on the job."
Dee didn't smile. "It's way more fun kissing you when you're into it," he said.
"Is it?" Ryo brushed his lips against Dee's, teasing.
Dee craned his head up to claim a real kiss. As Ryo pulled away, playfully delaying their mutual pleasure, Dee slid his fingers down to Ryo's wrists, holding them to the floor.
Ryo looked down at his captive hands, a thoughtful expression flickering across his face.
"You know, I've occasionally wondered why you've never tried to get me into handcuffs."
Dee stared at Ryo, his features creased with disbelief and consternation. "Is that really one of your fantasies? If it's something you want--"
"No, no," Ryo assured him. "Gear from work, in bed? Not arousing in the slightest."
"Oh, thank God for that," Dee breathed. "I'd do anything for you, Ryo -- even that -- but man, the sheer thought of it makes my skin crawl."
Watching Dee intently, Ryo slipped his right hand out of Dee's clasp and curled it over Dee's fingers, silently registering the panic and relief that flashed across his lover's face in quick succession -- so swiftly that he wouldn't have seen them at all, had he not long ago learned to look for them. He gently squeezed Dee's fingers.
"Hey," he murmured. "I don't need that kind of proof." He wriggled his hips against Dee's, his lips curving up as Dee's face instantly lit up with anticipation. "I should get back to taking off your pants, huh?"
"Hell yes." Dee punctuated his response by thrusting up against Ryo. Ryo laughed and pushed himself down to Dee's waist.
Part 2
Author: bronze_ribbons
Rating: PG-13 for now, but heading towards NC-17 overall
Warnings: stalking, swearing, and other unsavory stuff
Word count for part 1: ~ 2000 words
Summary: Ryo receives a peculiar present. Dee doesn't like it one bit.
A/N: The prompt was "ryo/dee: handcuffs, police business"; I was thinking "teeny fluffy PWP with sweet bondage" when I claimed it, but then the plotbunny hopped sideways and all hell broke loose. [ETA 2/3/09: I was originally hoping to finish this by Valentine's Day 2009, but it's almost certainly going to take three more parts and I'm short on spare time at the moment. But I'm still working on it! Promise!]
Timeline: Several years after Like, Like, Love. Includes references to first season extras and the second season (through "chapter 5," which was in HUG 2008/04). This story assumes that the SCIU was dissolved after a couple years and the guys all got transferred back to the 27th -- both for convenience's sake and because the building depicted in various panels of LLL is of the 27th rather than the 52nd.
When the first pair of handcuffs slid out of the padded envelope addressed to him, Ryo immediately narrowed his eyes at Dee. He hadn't recognized the block printing on the label, but he still half-expected to see his lover suggestively smirking or openly grinning at him.
Instead, Dee turned white as a sheet and then fainted dead away.
Ryo lunged forward, pulling Dee away from the floor lamp he had nearly crashed into as he fell. Forcing training to override panic, Ryo swiftly checked Dee's airways and pulse and -- crap, there wasn't anything within reach for elevating the legs. Circulation: Loosen any constricting clothing-- Dee's collar was already open, and his sleeves rolled up, so Ryo busied himself with undoing Dee's belt. He'd just pulled its tip free of the buckle when Dee stirred.
"Whaa-- whoa." Dee croaked out. Confused green eyes tried to focus on worried black ones. "What the hell happened? I usually feel a lot better than this when you're taking off my pants."
"I should hope so," Ryo said. "You usually don't faint at the sight of handcuffs, either."
"I don't-- oh. Oh shit. Those." Dee's indignation dissolved into dismay as he recalled the packet Ryo had opened. "Um, whadja do with them?"
Ryo waved vaguely toward the spot where he'd been standing, going through the mail. The handcuffs were on the floor nearby, their hard steel curves gleaming against weathered hardwood. They were a different model than the ones issued by the NYPD: the bracelets were connected by a thick black metal plate rather than a chain. From a distance, they resembled a distorted giant bottle opener.
"Ah." Dee swallowed. "Um, yeah. Bit of a story there."
"Tell it," Ryo ordered. "I'm not letting you sit up until you do."
"Woe is me," Dee joked. "I'll just have to let you do all the work."
Ryo grinned in spite of himself. "I didn't hear you complaining the last time I did."
"Huh," Dee said. "Maybe I should faint more often."
Ryo's grin instantly vanished. "Don't you dare."
Dee's eyes widened. "Did you just hit your head? You did not just think I was serious."
"Uhm..." Ryo looked both sheepish and pained. "Cripes. I do need a vacation, don't I."
Dee started to nod emphatically, but then winced -- he hadn't hit the floor hard, but it had caught him square on the side of his head. He settled for saying, "I've been telling you that for weeks. You oughta listen to me more."
"If I paid attention to half of the things you say, I'd never get anything done."
"That's not true. You'd be doing me more often--"
"Dee, you are so immature."
"I am not imma-- why the fuck are you smiling?"
"You sound so you," Ryo said, his voice suffused with open relief. "Not like someone who was out cold a minute ago."
Dee smiled back. "Nope, nothing to worry about."
"I didn't say that. You did faint, buddy." Ryo jerked his head toward the handcuffs. "Explain."
Dee scowled at the hoops, clearly wishing that they'd suddenly sink through the floor and disappear. When they failed to oblige him by doing so, he heaved a disappointed sigh.
Ryo tapped him on the nose. "The longer you stall, the more tempted I'm gonna be to cross-examine you."
"Jeez, Ryo, at least let me get in a few lies first." Dee aimed a last baleful glare at the handcuffs and then let his head fall back. "When I was a kid, there was a girl. Anna. Five, six years older than me, maybe? She worked at the orphanage for a couple of weeks. We were passing by a flea market, and there was a pair just like those. She claimed she knew some guy who'd pay good money for them, so I pinched them for her." Dee shrugged. "I didn't really believe her about the guy, but she was cute and I was bored."
Ryo rolled his eyes. "Didn't we collar some punk for something like that just last week? Thank God Bikky never wanted to impress anyone besides Carol."
"Carol wouldn't have been impressed by this. The guy I nicked the cuffs from, he was pretty out of it -- the way you tend to be, in fact."
"Brat." Annoyed, Ryo swatted at Dee, but Dee easily captured Ryo's hand before it could land on him. "So Anna was wildly impressed with your handcuff-stealing prowess?"
"She never did pay me, and she quit Mother's with no notice. Dude, you're ridiculous when you try to pretend you don't care." Dee chuckled as he blocked Ryo's other arm in mid-swing. "I'm jealous of everyone you've ever had a crush on too, so I like it when you're this stupid. Just as long as you're not freezing me out."
Ryo gave up and stretched out over Dee, mumbling something that sounded suspiciously like "patronizing prick." Dee sighed happily, enjoying the warm weight of Ryo's body on top of his and his lover's grumpy nuzzling at his shoulder.
If only he could keep the creeps and lunatics away from his Ryo. Dee thought he'd gotten a break when Berkeley Rose had finally married Diana Spacey; Rose hadn't actually hit on Ryo in years, but the commish being at last on Freakella's leash had still delighted Dee beyond measure. Their engagement had coincided with JJ Adams's deciding to leave him the fuck alone for good and transferring all the deranged tackleglomping and demented shrieks of "SENPAI!!!" to Drake, who had actually thrived as the target of the little maniac's adoration: in the course of dating JJ, Drake had become more physically fit and mentally agile than his friends had ever known him to be -- so much that it had surprised no one when he received his promotion to detective second grade the same year Ryo got graded up to first. Drake's transformation had started around the time that Bikky had left for college, which Dee had regarded as another gladsome milestone: fond as he'd become of the kid, Dee had been overjoyed at the prospect of more unadulterated adult-only Ryo-time up for grabs.
Looking back, Dee couldn't believe he'd been deluded enough to imagine their lives becoming less mayhem-ridden. There had been the tattoo artist who had kept sending them sketches that Ryo hadn't posed for -- lovingly rendered sketches in which he'd depicted his fantasies of a stark naked Ryo, wearing only the elaborate swirls of ink the man had longed to inscribe across Ryo's skin. There had been the cat hoarder who had secretly deposited a kitten in front of their apartment door every sixth day for three months -- and then tried to strangle Ryo with a knitted scarf when he'd admitted all of her intended love tokens had ended up at Animal Care & Control (Dee still couldn't believe Ryo had tried to reason with the woman; it was true that their lease didn't allow pets, but Ryo had been crazy to think that a crazy woman would have cared about that). There had been the oboe-playing freak who had repeatedly scaled up their building to serenade Ryo with off-key covers of Billy Joel songs; Dee would never forgive the guy for ruining "The Longest Time" for him, but he'd also laughed his ass off when JJ presented Ryo with a roll of toilet paper -- one with its sheets imprinted with the Piano Man's greatest hits.
There were also the people who hated Ryo because they hated cops, and then there were the people who really hated Ryo because he was really good at being a cop. Dee had his own enemies, of course, but Ryo somehow had a knack for collecting adversaries motivated enough to seek revenge on him. Dee was no Einstein, but he was justifiably proud of his ability to outsmart and outmaneuver said adversaries, regularly putting them back out of commission before their attempts on Ryo could succeed; when he got graded up to second, it had shocked the majority of his acquaintances and colleagues, but not the ones aware of his extended, exhaustive, and sometimes superhuman efforts to keep his partner healthy and whole. That the rest of society happened to benefit from his zeal was nice, but neither Rose nor Diana nor his friends at the 27th were under any illusions about its source: they all knew Dee was capable enough when he had someone specific to protect or rescue, such as a lost girl or a kidnapped boy or a threatened colleague, but whenever he detected danger specifically trying to sink its claws into his Ryo, Dee became not only dedicated but driven.
He usually had more to work with than handcuffs appearing out of nowhere, however. Tightening his arms around Ryo, Dee turned his head to glare at the mystery manacles.
"Is there anyone you can think of who might be trying to get at you through me?" Ryo's voice was deceptively calm. "Because, if there is, they had better think again before I run into them."
Dee said, "It wouldn't be Anna, if that's what you're wondering."
Ryo traced a scar on Dee's collarbone with his index finger. "You've kept track of her?"
"After she bailed on Mother, I forgot all about her -- didn't give her a thought for years. Not until my second month as a cop. Mikva and me, we answered a call about an apartment smelling nasty..."
Ryo quietly said, "Found her there, did you?"
"And the handcuffs too, around what was left of her wrists."
"Ever catch the perp?"
"No."
They fell silent again, each contemplating old memories and new unpleasant possibilities.
Eventually, Ryo suggested, "They might just be a prank."
"I'd really love to think that." Dee's expression was bleak.
"Then think that for now." Ryo slid his hands into Dee's. "No sense borrowing trouble ahead of time."
"What I think," Dee growled, "is that you're an insanity magnet."
"It's not my fault," Ryo protested. "It's not like I'm encouraging them."
"You're not," Dee conceded. "You don't have to. You're breathing, they're encouraged."
"Says the man who kissed me my second day on the job."
Dee didn't smile. "It's way more fun kissing you when you're into it," he said.
"Is it?" Ryo brushed his lips against Dee's, teasing.
Dee craned his head up to claim a real kiss. As Ryo pulled away, playfully delaying their mutual pleasure, Dee slid his fingers down to Ryo's wrists, holding them to the floor.
Ryo looked down at his captive hands, a thoughtful expression flickering across his face.
"You know, I've occasionally wondered why you've never tried to get me into handcuffs."
Dee stared at Ryo, his features creased with disbelief and consternation. "Is that really one of your fantasies? If it's something you want--"
"No, no," Ryo assured him. "Gear from work, in bed? Not arousing in the slightest."
"Oh, thank God for that," Dee breathed. "I'd do anything for you, Ryo -- even that -- but man, the sheer thought of it makes my skin crawl."
Watching Dee intently, Ryo slipped his right hand out of Dee's clasp and curled it over Dee's fingers, silently registering the panic and relief that flashed across his lover's face in quick succession -- so swiftly that he wouldn't have seen them at all, had he not long ago learned to look for them. He gently squeezed Dee's fingers.
"Hey," he murmured. "I don't need that kind of proof." He wriggled his hips against Dee's, his lips curving up as Dee's face instantly lit up with anticipation. "I should get back to taking off your pants, huh?"
"Hell yes." Dee punctuated his response by thrusting up against Ryo. Ryo laughed and pushed himself down to Dee's waist.
Part 2