Runaways (Xavin/Karolina)
Title: Change the Channel
Author: puella_nerdii
Rating: PG
Wordcount: 629
Warnings: none
Prompt: Shapeshifting, culture clash - Xavin discovers television.
“Um.” Karolina leaned forward and rested her elbows on her knees, squinting at the TV. “I haven’t seen this one in a while, but I think the red-haired woman in the black dress is the bald man’s mistress, and she’s trying to take over his company with the blond man in the blue suit, but she doesn’t know that the blond man’s, um, actually his evil twin and…it gets really hard to follow from there. I think the blond with the wineglass is possessed by her dead little sister that she kept shut up in the attic.”
“And this is what humans find entertaining?” Xavin asked.
“Some humans.” She gestured to the screen. “Different people like different shows.”
“Who likes this?” Xavin wrinkled her nose in distaste.
“Bored housewives, mostly. That’s what my parents said. They never actually watched the soaps themselves. Mom said it was because she hated seeing herself act. She said the camera made her look constipated.”
“Did it?”
“Not really. She was just sensitive like that. I thought it was a Hollywood thing.” Karolina shrugged. “Maybe she was worried she didn’t appear human enough. I don’t know.”
“These television programs.” Xavin examined one of her curls; frowning, she pinched a split end and restored it to its former healthy state. “Are all of them this inane?”
“No,” she said. “The cartoons are a lot of fun. I loved Bugs Bunny.”
Xavin looked at her strangely. “An insect that is also a rabbit?”
“Not exactly.” Karolina bit the inside of her cheek hard. “He’s a bunny, but he walks like a person…”
“Is that physically possible?” Xavin interjected.
“No, but it’s animation. You know what animation is, right?” She nodded, so Karolina continued. “It doesn’t have to look realistic.”
“I see. Continue. Forgive my interruptions.”
“It’s fine.” She smiled and shifted back into the couch’s leather cushions. “So Bugs always plays pranks on people-”
“Rabbits don’t have higher cognitive functions.”
“They do in cartoons, Xavin,” Karolina pointed out patiently. “And he says ‘What’s up, Doc?’ a lot.”
Xavin blinked.
“I don’t know why he does it, he just does. It’s his catchphrase.”
“Need I point out the sheer improbability of a rabbit reproducing human speech?”
She sighed. “Don’t think of Bugs like a rabbit. Think of him as-as a human taking on a distorted rabbit shape or something. What people do on television is like what you do. They change themselves into things that the viewers recognize. Am I making sense?”
“I think so.” Xavin nodded solemnly, her eyes trained on the TV set.
“So soap operas are a no go…” Karolina picked up the remote and thumbed the worn buttons idly. “Let’s see what else is on.”
Seconds later, she said, “Oh. No. We can change the channel now.”
Xavin rested her hand on top of Karolina’s, covering the remote. “What’s this show?”
“It’s just Survivor. It’s a show where they put real people on this island in the middle of nowhere and make them do horrible things on camera and then they all vote each other off and-ew, it’s the episode where they’re making the contestants eat cow’s bladders.”
“And this is especially repulsive?” Xavin asked.
Karolina stared at her like she was an alien. (Which, okay, she was.) “You’re not supposed to eat that part of the cow! I mean,” she added, “ideally you shouldn’t eat any part of the cow, but the bladder? That’s unsanitary. It’s disgusting. Let’s change the channel.”
“Can we watch this a while longer, love?” she asked, tapping her fingers against her knee. “The social rituals depicted here are fascinating.”
Karolina slumped back on the couch and eyed the TV with as much distaste as she could muster. “You are such a guy sometimes, Xavin.”
Author: puella_nerdii
Rating: PG
Wordcount: 629
Warnings: none
Prompt: Shapeshifting, culture clash - Xavin discovers television.
“Um.” Karolina leaned forward and rested her elbows on her knees, squinting at the TV. “I haven’t seen this one in a while, but I think the red-haired woman in the black dress is the bald man’s mistress, and she’s trying to take over his company with the blond man in the blue suit, but she doesn’t know that the blond man’s, um, actually his evil twin and…it gets really hard to follow from there. I think the blond with the wineglass is possessed by her dead little sister that she kept shut up in the attic.”
“And this is what humans find entertaining?” Xavin asked.
“Some humans.” She gestured to the screen. “Different people like different shows.”
“Who likes this?” Xavin wrinkled her nose in distaste.
“Bored housewives, mostly. That’s what my parents said. They never actually watched the soaps themselves. Mom said it was because she hated seeing herself act. She said the camera made her look constipated.”
“Did it?”
“Not really. She was just sensitive like that. I thought it was a Hollywood thing.” Karolina shrugged. “Maybe she was worried she didn’t appear human enough. I don’t know.”
“These television programs.” Xavin examined one of her curls; frowning, she pinched a split end and restored it to its former healthy state. “Are all of them this inane?”
“No,” she said. “The cartoons are a lot of fun. I loved Bugs Bunny.”
Xavin looked at her strangely. “An insect that is also a rabbit?”
“Not exactly.” Karolina bit the inside of her cheek hard. “He’s a bunny, but he walks like a person…”
“Is that physically possible?” Xavin interjected.
“No, but it’s animation. You know what animation is, right?” She nodded, so Karolina continued. “It doesn’t have to look realistic.”
“I see. Continue. Forgive my interruptions.”
“It’s fine.” She smiled and shifted back into the couch’s leather cushions. “So Bugs always plays pranks on people-”
“Rabbits don’t have higher cognitive functions.”
“They do in cartoons, Xavin,” Karolina pointed out patiently. “And he says ‘What’s up, Doc?’ a lot.”
Xavin blinked.
“I don’t know why he does it, he just does. It’s his catchphrase.”
“Need I point out the sheer improbability of a rabbit reproducing human speech?”
She sighed. “Don’t think of Bugs like a rabbit. Think of him as-as a human taking on a distorted rabbit shape or something. What people do on television is like what you do. They change themselves into things that the viewers recognize. Am I making sense?”
“I think so.” Xavin nodded solemnly, her eyes trained on the TV set.
“So soap operas are a no go…” Karolina picked up the remote and thumbed the worn buttons idly. “Let’s see what else is on.”
Seconds later, she said, “Oh. No. We can change the channel now.”
Xavin rested her hand on top of Karolina’s, covering the remote. “What’s this show?”
“It’s just Survivor. It’s a show where they put real people on this island in the middle of nowhere and make them do horrible things on camera and then they all vote each other off and-ew, it’s the episode where they’re making the contestants eat cow’s bladders.”
“And this is especially repulsive?” Xavin asked.
Karolina stared at her like she was an alien. (Which, okay, she was.) “You’re not supposed to eat that part of the cow! I mean,” she added, “ideally you shouldn’t eat any part of the cow, but the bladder? That’s unsanitary. It’s disgusting. Let’s change the channel.”
“Can we watch this a while longer, love?” she asked, tapping her fingers against her knee. “The social rituals depicted here are fascinating.”
Karolina slumped back on the couch and eyed the TV with as much distaste as she could muster. “You are such a guy sometimes, Xavin.”