Final Fantasy VIII (Seifer Almasy/Squall Leonhart)

[mercy_slays]

Standing over him, Squall panted heavily, wondering why he felt so hurt right now. Before him on the ground was his rival, Almasy-Seifer-the Sorceress’s Knight, defeated. He shouldn’t be feeling the way he was now. They were one step closer to saving the world from Ultimecia but now? Now all he could think about was how many times he imagined his

Comments

[eerian_sadow]

that was an interesting take on thier relationship. something i probably wouldnt' have ever come up with myself. i thank you for making me think outside the box with this bittersweet, introspective piece.

i really enjoyed it.

(and yes, sometimes i really do talk like that. especially late at night.)

[irishais]

I liked this. It's a strong take on the most pivotal relationship in the game. I think, though, that there's some pacing that could be looked at, and keep an eye on your sentence structure.

When Almasy did get up, Squall stared fearfully, torn with realization, the man-his soul-he sought after for living gave up his entire individuality to a Sorceress bent on destroying everything they were-SeeD, they lived and breathed it-including ruling the world.

This, I found really difficult to understand--I think you switch your tenses somewhere in there, and might be missing a section around "including." Try to streamline it down. It'll fit more with Squall's train of thought.

All in all, though, a really strong story--you've got a good Squall characterization building here. :D

[galerian_ash]

Oh. This had such an intense feeling of regret and poignant sadness, it really is powerful. They just need each other -- to live and function, to love and hate, and everything else as well.

I love the setting of this; I've always wondered what was going through Squall's head when he defeated his rival (I, too, always felt that it was a victory won by cheating).

Thank you very much for picking and writing this prompt!