Card Captor Sakura (Eriol/Yue, Touya/Yue)

[allira_dream]

Title: 2 AM, Still Awake.
Author/Artist: allira_dream
Rating: PG.
Warnings: None.
Word count: 1409.
Summary: Some wounds need to bleed again before they can heal; Yue realizes that, perhaps, he never really belonged to Clow.
A/N: Prompt: Card Captor Sakura, Eriol/Yue, Touya/Yue: Willing submission - “You don’t belong to me any longer, Yue.”

Comments

[tekalynn]

Oh, poor Yue.

Neither he nor Ruby Moon can do nothing for Yue's pain. Umm, this doesn't work in English, unless I'm reading it backwards from what you intended. "Neither...can do anything..." or "Both of them...can do nothing..." would work.

[allira_dream]

Thanks! And fixed that, thank you ^^

[yue_ix]

That was both sad and hopeful, and made for a great read.

However, sometimes I felt that you overused the character's names a little; perhaps you could try replacing some of them with more adjectives or descriptions (young boy, moon guardian, mistress's brother, etc.) to lighten the read a little bit?

I like how you did most characters, but my favorite is Touya because you captured that he's mature but boyish and simple. That he wants to cuddle after simplifying and soothing Yue's submission struggle was very cute. Thank you for sharing. ^__^

[allira_dream]

I actually sort of dislike using that sort of descriptions. They feel cheap to me, so I try to avoid them as much as possible. I'd rather overuse names than that kind of descriptions.

But thanks for reading! I'm glad you liked it.