A Spredfic by lilithbint
My wonderful friend lilithbint wrote this Spredfic for me at LJ’s nekid_spike community, and gave me permission to reprint it here as well! *hugs her*
Second Chance by lilithbint
http://community.livejournal.com/nekid_spike/2714824.html
AtS post-Not Fade Away
rated PG
ficlet
Summary: After the battle Illyria falls. Spike takes care of her because nobody else can but who really came back?
Second Chance
Illyria manifested in all her horrible majesty and the battle stopped. She tore a hole into somewhere and dumped the whole of Wolfram & Hart through the gap.
The rain fell, washing away much of what remained, leaving Spike and Angel in the centre of the devastation. Gunn’s body was gone, probably eaten by something, but they were too tired to try and look. Wesley was dead; Spike knew Angel would seek out his body and give it peace. Lorne was gone and they couldn’t blame him for not wanting to be a part of what was left.
Angel… Angel walked. “I can’t Spike, I can’t look at her and not see what happened. Keep her out of trouble and away from me… please.”
Spike understood. He’d have walked if he could, but someone had to take responsibility. She lay in a tangle of limbs wearing Fred’s form, and it was for that form that Spike would look after her. For his sweet scientist who believed he was worth saving.
She didn’t move for five days and never shed Fred’s form. Spike cleaned her up, trying not to look at the all too human and frail body under his hands. He’d never been sure what Illyria ate so he trickled water into her mouth and massaged her throat to make her swallow, and worried about how thin she was.
Everyday it was Fred’s face she wore and everyday his heart cracked as he desperately wanted it to be her. She was naked when he brought her to the hotel and it hurt to put her into some of Fred’s old clothes but it was better than waiting for the armour to grow over her again.
Confused and scared eyes met his on the sixth day when he returned from patrol. He’d seen Angel but they kept their distance. Patrols were quieter without Wolfram & Hart but there were still plenty of vampires and demons preying on the stupid and unwary. Spike found it therapeutic to get his frustrations out in a good fight.
“You’ve been out a while Blue,” Spike said, “how you feeling?”
“I hurt everywhere,” she replied, “Spike, what happened?”
“You went all tentaclely and threw Wolfram & Hart into another dimension,” Spike said, “been unconscious ever since.”
“I went all what?” she said in confusion.
“Could you change back please,” Spike said wearily, he couldn’t bear to keep looking at the features of his friend.
“Into what?” she asked her voice confused, “I… I died,” she added shakily, “it burned me out of my body but I couldn’t leave.”
“What are you talking about?” Spike demanded.
“I touched the sarcophagus and it infected me,” she said, “Wesley… oh Wesley. You all tried but it was too late. I felt it burn me out, melt my organs but I was stuck.” Her body was shaking. “I remember…”
Spike shook his head, it was impossible. Fred’s soul had been destroyed. Somebody had said so, but what if they’d been wrong? Whether it was Fred or Illyria he had to do something.
Spike gathered her up into his arms and held her carefully. She whimpered and buried her face into his shoulder.
“It’s alright, we’ll sort it out,” he said soothingly. Stroking her hair he suddenly noticed her scent. Underneath the fear and confusion was pure Fred. “Fred?” He hugged her tightly in amazement.
Tears flowed thick and fast between them and Spike couldn’t resist peppering her face and hair with soft kisses. Realising what he was doing Spike let her go and stood up. Fred looked at him in confusion.
“I could do with a drink, how about you?” he said quickly. “How about a nice cup of tea?”
She blinked at him in surprise. “I’d rather water please,” she said.
“I can do water, stay right there.” Spike fled the room and went to the kitchen downstairs trying to get his head around his feelings. If it was Fred and she was alright she would have to know about Wesley and Gunn as well as what happened in the alley and he didn’t want to hurt her anymore than she had been. He’d always been fond of Fred and he’d known it could have been more if she’d been interested, but she hadn’t been and then they’d lost her.
Back in her room Spike found Fred sitting up, hugging her knees to her chest. She accepted the water gratefully and Spike just stared as she drank. Illyria never ate or drank adding another layer to the possibility it was Fred.
“Do you know what happened,” Spike asked her, “do you remember?”
“Illyria threw Wolfram & Hart out but they dragged her with them,” Fred said, “somehow she left me behind. I should be dead, but she was rebuilding my body to understand humanity better. She wanted to make you and Wesley happy, oh poor Wesley.” Her eyes filled with tears again and Spike left his defensive position at the door and held her while she cried.
“I’m sorry pet,” he said, “I know how you felt about him and how he felt about you.”
“It might have been something if we’d had a chance,” she said, “he wasn’t very good at hiding his feelings from me,” she added sadly.
“So you know everything that happened?” Spike said, relieved that he didn’t have to be the one to tell her.
“Illyria left them all in here for me,” she said, “everything that happened. She enjoyed hurting you, I’m so sorry Spike.”
“Nothing to be sorry for luv,” he said, “wasn’t you, knew that.”
“I never wanted to hurt anyone,” she said.
“Know you didn’t,” Spike soothed her. Her stomach growled and she smiled with embarrassment. “Hungry then?” he said with a smile. “You up for a walk? There’s not much in the cupboards but I know there’s a Taco Bell down the street.”
“Oh god tacos,” she said with rapture, “this is the second time I’ve missed them.”
They came back from eating more relaxed than before. They had avoided talking about anything serious and Spike had come to accept that it really was Fred. Somehow she was back.
When they got back to the hotel Spike went and raided what was left of Angel’s alcohol. He’d put a decent dent in it when he’d first brought her back but there was enough left for the next conversation.
Fred knocked back a shot of whiskey, her face screwing up with dislike but she didn’t stop until it was gone and it made Spike smile.
Staring into his glass Spike made the confession he’d been dreading. “We could have saved you but the cost was so high. They said your soul was gone, destroyed,” he said, “so we gave up trying to get you back. I tried to believe your soul had gone somewhere nice because that was what you deserved but we all believed you were gone. I’m really sorry.”
“It’s alright,” Fred said. She scooted closer to him on the sofa they had settled on. “I’ve seen everything that happened. I know the choice you had to make and I’m glad, really I am. I couldn’t have lived with myself if you had saved me at the expense of all those people. You did what was right, all of you.” She took his hand and squeezed it. “And Illyria wasn’t to know. We were nothing when she was god king, but she did feel something for your grief. She was beginning to feel things, that was why I survived in the end. She understood Wesley’s grief and rage; your feelings were harder for her to understand.”
“My feelings?” Spike looked at her in confusion.
“She knew you cared for me and yet you were willing to fight her. Wesley tried to kill her but couldn’t bring himself to, and then he tortured himself by spending time with her. She liked the taste of his grief. You separated the two of us in your mind and that confused her,” Fred tried to explain.
“She wore your form but she wasn’t you,” Spike said, “knew that but I wanted to honour your memory. You called me a champion figured I couldn’t make a lady a liar.”
Fred smiled, blinking away tears. “I didn’t understand at first when she left, I thought I was dead but you were always there taking care of me so I woke up.” Watching him carefully she leaned forward and kissed him.
Spike’s eyes widened and he accepted the kiss, barely reciprocating. “But you and Wesley?” he said hesitantly when she pulled back.
“We could have been but everything went wrong. You and I could be,” she said, “if you were interested, I mean I thought you might be but if you’re not we can just be friends. I like having friends and you make me laugh.”
Spike silenced her babbling with a kiss. “We could be,” he said after breaking the kiss after a significantly longer time, “you and I, we could be a lot of things and I’d like to see what they were.”
“So would I,” she said. “You know I really enjoyed when we were a detective agency, you and I could be one, Spike and Burkle Investigations, or Fred and Spike Incorporated, or something like that maybe, what do you think?”
“I think we can do whatever we like,” Spike said, “but we’ll need a better name than those.”
Fred laughed and punched him lightly on the shoulder. “Well you think of something then.”
And so it was that Spred Inc was formed. Fred took on IT related investigations which payed the bills nicely and allowed Spike to save people for a minimal retainer to keep it all legal.
It took Angel a lot longer to come around to the idea and Spike took great glee in hiring him as a junior detective (he also took great glee in handing the responsibility back to Angel once Angel accepted Fred was the boss). Spike didn’t really care about any other hierarchy but that.
END
Second Chance by lilithbint
http://community.livejournal.com/nekid_spike/2714824.html
AtS post-Not Fade Away
rated PG
ficlet
Summary: After the battle Illyria falls. Spike takes care of her because nobody else can but who really came back?
Second Chance
Illyria manifested in all her horrible majesty and the battle stopped. She tore a hole into somewhere and dumped the whole of Wolfram & Hart through the gap.
The rain fell, washing away much of what remained, leaving Spike and Angel in the centre of the devastation. Gunn’s body was gone, probably eaten by something, but they were too tired to try and look. Wesley was dead; Spike knew Angel would seek out his body and give it peace. Lorne was gone and they couldn’t blame him for not wanting to be a part of what was left.
Angel… Angel walked. “I can’t Spike, I can’t look at her and not see what happened. Keep her out of trouble and away from me… please.”
Spike understood. He’d have walked if he could, but someone had to take responsibility. She lay in a tangle of limbs wearing Fred’s form, and it was for that form that Spike would look after her. For his sweet scientist who believed he was worth saving.
She didn’t move for five days and never shed Fred’s form. Spike cleaned her up, trying not to look at the all too human and frail body under his hands. He’d never been sure what Illyria ate so he trickled water into her mouth and massaged her throat to make her swallow, and worried about how thin she was.
Everyday it was Fred’s face she wore and everyday his heart cracked as he desperately wanted it to be her. She was naked when he brought her to the hotel and it hurt to put her into some of Fred’s old clothes but it was better than waiting for the armour to grow over her again.
Confused and scared eyes met his on the sixth day when he returned from patrol. He’d seen Angel but they kept their distance. Patrols were quieter without Wolfram & Hart but there were still plenty of vampires and demons preying on the stupid and unwary. Spike found it therapeutic to get his frustrations out in a good fight.
“You’ve been out a while Blue,” Spike said, “how you feeling?”
“I hurt everywhere,” she replied, “Spike, what happened?”
“You went all tentaclely and threw Wolfram & Hart into another dimension,” Spike said, “been unconscious ever since.”
“I went all what?” she said in confusion.
“Could you change back please,” Spike said wearily, he couldn’t bear to keep looking at the features of his friend.
“Into what?” she asked her voice confused, “I… I died,” she added shakily, “it burned me out of my body but I couldn’t leave.”
“What are you talking about?” Spike demanded.
“I touched the sarcophagus and it infected me,” she said, “Wesley… oh Wesley. You all tried but it was too late. I felt it burn me out, melt my organs but I was stuck.” Her body was shaking. “I remember…”
Spike shook his head, it was impossible. Fred’s soul had been destroyed. Somebody had said so, but what if they’d been wrong? Whether it was Fred or Illyria he had to do something.
Spike gathered her up into his arms and held her carefully. She whimpered and buried her face into his shoulder.
“It’s alright, we’ll sort it out,” he said soothingly. Stroking her hair he suddenly noticed her scent. Underneath the fear and confusion was pure Fred. “Fred?” He hugged her tightly in amazement.
Tears flowed thick and fast between them and Spike couldn’t resist peppering her face and hair with soft kisses. Realising what he was doing Spike let her go and stood up. Fred looked at him in confusion.
“I could do with a drink, how about you?” he said quickly. “How about a nice cup of tea?”
She blinked at him in surprise. “I’d rather water please,” she said.
“I can do water, stay right there.” Spike fled the room and went to the kitchen downstairs trying to get his head around his feelings. If it was Fred and she was alright she would have to know about Wesley and Gunn as well as what happened in the alley and he didn’t want to hurt her anymore than she had been. He’d always been fond of Fred and he’d known it could have been more if she’d been interested, but she hadn’t been and then they’d lost her.
Back in her room Spike found Fred sitting up, hugging her knees to her chest. She accepted the water gratefully and Spike just stared as she drank. Illyria never ate or drank adding another layer to the possibility it was Fred.
“Do you know what happened,” Spike asked her, “do you remember?”
“Illyria threw Wolfram & Hart out but they dragged her with them,” Fred said, “somehow she left me behind. I should be dead, but she was rebuilding my body to understand humanity better. She wanted to make you and Wesley happy, oh poor Wesley.” Her eyes filled with tears again and Spike left his defensive position at the door and held her while she cried.
“I’m sorry pet,” he said, “I know how you felt about him and how he felt about you.”
“It might have been something if we’d had a chance,” she said, “he wasn’t very good at hiding his feelings from me,” she added sadly.
“So you know everything that happened?” Spike said, relieved that he didn’t have to be the one to tell her.
“Illyria left them all in here for me,” she said, “everything that happened. She enjoyed hurting you, I’m so sorry Spike.”
“Nothing to be sorry for luv,” he said, “wasn’t you, knew that.”
“I never wanted to hurt anyone,” she said.
“Know you didn’t,” Spike soothed her. Her stomach growled and she smiled with embarrassment. “Hungry then?” he said with a smile. “You up for a walk? There’s not much in the cupboards but I know there’s a Taco Bell down the street.”
“Oh god tacos,” she said with rapture, “this is the second time I’ve missed them.”
They came back from eating more relaxed than before. They had avoided talking about anything serious and Spike had come to accept that it really was Fred. Somehow she was back.
When they got back to the hotel Spike went and raided what was left of Angel’s alcohol. He’d put a decent dent in it when he’d first brought her back but there was enough left for the next conversation.
Fred knocked back a shot of whiskey, her face screwing up with dislike but she didn’t stop until it was gone and it made Spike smile.
Staring into his glass Spike made the confession he’d been dreading. “We could have saved you but the cost was so high. They said your soul was gone, destroyed,” he said, “so we gave up trying to get you back. I tried to believe your soul had gone somewhere nice because that was what you deserved but we all believed you were gone. I’m really sorry.”
“It’s alright,” Fred said. She scooted closer to him on the sofa they had settled on. “I’ve seen everything that happened. I know the choice you had to make and I’m glad, really I am. I couldn’t have lived with myself if you had saved me at the expense of all those people. You did what was right, all of you.” She took his hand and squeezed it. “And Illyria wasn’t to know. We were nothing when she was god king, but she did feel something for your grief. She was beginning to feel things, that was why I survived in the end. She understood Wesley’s grief and rage; your feelings were harder for her to understand.”
“My feelings?” Spike looked at her in confusion.
“She knew you cared for me and yet you were willing to fight her. Wesley tried to kill her but couldn’t bring himself to, and then he tortured himself by spending time with her. She liked the taste of his grief. You separated the two of us in your mind and that confused her,” Fred tried to explain.
“She wore your form but she wasn’t you,” Spike said, “knew that but I wanted to honour your memory. You called me a champion figured I couldn’t make a lady a liar.”
Fred smiled, blinking away tears. “I didn’t understand at first when she left, I thought I was dead but you were always there taking care of me so I woke up.” Watching him carefully she leaned forward and kissed him.
Spike’s eyes widened and he accepted the kiss, barely reciprocating. “But you and Wesley?” he said hesitantly when she pulled back.
“We could have been but everything went wrong. You and I could be,” she said, “if you were interested, I mean I thought you might be but if you’re not we can just be friends. I like having friends and you make me laugh.”
Spike silenced her babbling with a kiss. “We could be,” he said after breaking the kiss after a significantly longer time, “you and I, we could be a lot of things and I’d like to see what they were.”
“So would I,” she said. “You know I really enjoyed when we were a detective agency, you and I could be one, Spike and Burkle Investigations, or Fred and Spike Incorporated, or something like that maybe, what do you think?”
“I think we can do whatever we like,” Spike said, “but we’ll need a better name than those.”
Fred laughed and punched him lightly on the shoulder. “Well you think of something then.”
And so it was that Spred Inc was formed. Fred took on IT related investigations which payed the bills nicely and allowed Spike to save people for a minimal retainer to keep it all legal.
It took Angel a lot longer to come around to the idea and Spike took great glee in hiring him as a junior detective (he also took great glee in handing the responsibility back to Angel once Angel accepted Fred was the boss). Spike didn’t really care about any other hierarchy but that.
END