Kingdom Hearts ~ Hearts and Happenstance - Worth Fighting For
Title: Worth Fighting For
Prompt: #5 - “ano sa...” (“hey, you know...”) (for 30_kisses )
Fandom: Kingdom Hearts II
Characters/Pairings: Luxord/Tifa; Naminé
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1,676
Disclaimer: I don’t own Kingdom Hearts or any of the characters therein. They belong to Square and Disney, to whom I am eternally grateful for letting me play in their sandbox.
Summary: Luxord receives advice from an unlikely visitor.
She looks older than he remembers.
Gray sand clings to her legs as she walks a little bit in front of him. He can’t believe how much she’s grown in such a short time. It’s only been a year since he’s last seen her, and yet she looks more like an adult now than she ever has before. Still, there are some things that haven’t changed-- he remembers well that white dress; the long blond hair.
“It’s been a long time, hasn’t it.” She is looking out over the ocean, at the blackened waves that crash against the beach. He imagines that he can hear the sound clearly, almost like the sound of deep, rhythmic breathing. But the waves make no noise here-- virtually nothing is audible here except for the sound of their own voices, and that in itself somehow seems like an intrusion.
“Almost too long,” he replies. “How have you been?”
Naminé smiles. “Good! Well... as good as can be expected, anyway. How about you? What have you been getting yourself into these days?”
“Oh...” A dismissive incline of his head. “The usual business, I suppose. My time is mostly consumed with gathering hearts now. Every day brings us closer and closer to our goals.”
“Ah.” For some reason, she won’t look at him. She stares out over the ocean, over the bleak expanse of grey. Her face seems inexplicably drawn and melancholy.
“What’s wrong?” Luxord asks her. “We’re so close to regaining our hearts. Doesn’t that make you happy?”
She offers him a fleeting smile. “Oh, I am-- as much as I can be,” she amends, ducking her head somewhat playfully.
“It’s just... I don’t know. Something about what you said-- about your ‘goals’-- you reminded me a little of Xemnas just then. Cold.”
He blinks at the word. “You think I’m cold?” His voice is devoid of emotion, but that in itself is a tell. She can see that he’s somewhat insulted. “I enjoy our visits together, don’t I?”
“Yes...” she admits, and yet Luxord can sense that there’s a “but” on the way. “But you also used to visit someone else, didn’t you? What happened to her?”
“You mean Tifa?” he asks. “When did I ever tell you about her?”
Naminé places her hands on her hips, shaking her head at him. “You’re answering a question with a question again,” she says in singsong.
Luxord sighs. “Very well,” he replies. “I... severed ties with her. It was becoming too dangerous to continue seeing her. Too many things could’ve gone wrong.”
“Hmm...” Her face grows thoughtful. “Is that really all this is about?”
“What do you mean?”
Naminé shrugs. “I can’t help but feel that there’s more to it than that.” She suddenly bends over, picking up a few stones which have broken off of the craggy rocks that line the edge of the water.
“There isn’t anything more,” Luxord replies, watching her at her task. “If anything, you’re the one that is reading too much into this. She was merely a pleasant distraction, nothing more.”
“Hm. I wonder.” With a sudden flick of her wrist, Naminé sends one of the stones she’s carrying sailing across the water.
It sinks into the depths without so much as a bounce and vanishes from view. She presses her lips together, making a small “mm” of disappointment.
“If that were true, why even bother wasting time with her? I know that’s a big thing with you.”
Luxord opens his mouth; closes it again. “That’s--”
“I’ll tell you what I think,” Naminé interrupts. She rocks back and forth on her heels for a moment. “She’s become a reminder of what you lost, hasn’t she? Just like your cards and dice. You need them so that you don’t forget.”
“And what do you think I need to be reminded of?”
Naminé looks at him then. Her mouth is curved in a smile, but it doesn’t quite reach her eyes. “What it was like to care,” she answers.
He shakes his head scornfully at the idea. “I need my cards and dice to keep a tenuous grasp on whatever shade of a life I still have,” he tells her. “Any so-called ‘relationship’ I may have as a Nobody is inconsequential and frivolous.”
“Frivolous,” she repeats. She smirks at him. “So does that mean you think the same way about our friendship, then?”
A strangled sound escapes his throat, indicating that she has struck a low blow. “That’s different,” he says, without looking at her. “It’s an entirely different situation with you.”
“Why? Because I was with the Organization and she isn’t? Or because your feelings for her are different than the ones you have for me?”
“We’ve had a conversation like this before. I don’t feel anything for her, or even for you.”
She shakes her head with a disappointed sigh. “You’re lying. Again. You forget, I’ve played cards with you before-- I can tell when you’re bluffing. Your mouth does this weird little downward twitch--”
“Is there a point of all of this?” Luxord asks irritably. “Why bother to ask a question if you think you already know the answer?”
“Because,” she says playfully, rocking back on her heels. “I want to hear you say it. What’s the problem? It’s just a simple answer. I know you don’t spend this much time with someone without personally getting something out of it. So what is it? What made you stay with her for so long?”
A quick answer is on his lips, but Naminé shakes her head.
“Ah-ah...” she chides, grinning. “I told you before. You can’t pull the ‘I-can’t-feel-anything’ card this time. You have to actually think about this one. Come on... how does she make you feel?”
Luxord takes a deep breath; exhales. “You know I can’t answer that, Naminé. What can I possibly say? That it was more than just the thrill of a challenge that caused me to pursue her? That I genuinely enjoy her company? That when I’m with her, I feel like I may not need a heart?”
That last one makes him balk-- it somehow has a different tone when he says it aloud. He clears his throat. “I didn’t mean that.”
She laughs, shaking her head. “Of course you did. You never say anything you don’t mean. Not to me, anyway.”
“I mean, I didn’t mean it like that. It didn’t come out the way I intended.”
Naminé gives him a long, calculating stare, raising her eyebrows. “Didn’t it?” she asks.
When did she get so sure of herself?
“Fine,” he replies. “Since you’re so certain about my intentions, why don’t you tell me what you think is wrong with me?”
“Oh, that one’s easy.” She rattles the stones she’s carrying around in her hand. “You’ve grown fond of her. Whether it’s romantically or not, you enjoy being around her. She’s like a drug. She reminds you of who you were before you lost your heart, and the thought of that is scaring you to death.”
During the ensuing silence, in which Luxord’s mouth works for something to say to that, Naminé sends another stone flying. It splashes into the water and vanishes from view. “Another failed launch.”
Luxord finally finds his voice. “This is preposterous,” he says. “I refuse to be a part of this inane symposium any longer.”
“Okay, see that?” Naminé tells him. “That’s how I can tell that you’re flustered. You only use big words around me when you’re upset about something. I mean, really-- ‘inane symposium’?”
The sand crunches softly under her feet as she walks over to him. Her eyes are more serious than he can ever remember seeing them before.
“You do care about her,” she tells him, “even though you don’t think you can. I can tell by how your voice softens when you talk about her; the way your eyes light up. You can’t keep very many secrets from me, you know.”
He opens his mouth to speak. She places a finger against his lips, soft as a kiss. “Shshsh. It’s okay. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. It’s just your heart’s way of telling you it’s still out there somewhere.”
“But Kingdom Hearts--”
“Kingdom Hearts should always be your goal, but you shouldn’t let it be your only reason for existing. If you do-- if you let it consume you... you could lose yourself, Luxord. Just like he has.”
“’He’?” Luxord repeats, but she only shakes her head.
“I don’t want that to happen. You need to always remember why you’re doing what you’re doing. Don’t let her go, Luxord. Let her be a reminder of what it is you’re really fighting for.”
She reaches up; presses one hand against his chest. “This.” Her hand moves to grasp the sleeve of his coat, the coat that denotes him as a member of Organization XIII. “Not this.”
Luxord tries valiantly to make a final argument. He tries to tell her that he cannot go against his Superior. He tries to tell her that such feelings-- if he even has them-- are fleeting and trivial compared to their ultimate goal. But for some reason, his arguments now seem almost... flimsy. He can’t for the life of him explain why, but what she says makes an odd amount of sense, try though he might to deny it. Are these the echoes of his long-forgotten heart, resonating with her words?
He chuckles and shakes his head at her. “When did you become so persuasive?” he asks.
Naminé smiles back. “I’m only telling you what you already know,” she tells him. “After all, this isn’t really happening. I’m not really here.”
Luxord blinks. The scenery has slowly begun to ripple and warp behind her, the ocean and sand and dark pointed rocks fading to starkest white. Naminé cups his face in her hands; stands on tiptoe until her lips are relatively close to his ear.
“This is just a dream you’re having, Luxord,” she whispers. “And it’s time to wake up.”
And then she is gone, leaving behind a presence of sweetness and warmth.
Prompt: #5 - “ano sa...” (“hey, you know...”) (for 30_kisses )
Fandom: Kingdom Hearts II
Characters/Pairings: Luxord/Tifa; Naminé
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1,676
Disclaimer: I don’t own Kingdom Hearts or any of the characters therein. They belong to Square and Disney, to whom I am eternally grateful for letting me play in their sandbox.
Summary: Luxord receives advice from an unlikely visitor.
She looks older than he remembers.
Gray sand clings to her legs as she walks a little bit in front of him. He can’t believe how much she’s grown in such a short time. It’s only been a year since he’s last seen her, and yet she looks more like an adult now than she ever has before. Still, there are some things that haven’t changed-- he remembers well that white dress; the long blond hair.
“It’s been a long time, hasn’t it.” She is looking out over the ocean, at the blackened waves that crash against the beach. He imagines that he can hear the sound clearly, almost like the sound of deep, rhythmic breathing. But the waves make no noise here-- virtually nothing is audible here except for the sound of their own voices, and that in itself somehow seems like an intrusion.
“Almost too long,” he replies. “How have you been?”
Naminé smiles. “Good! Well... as good as can be expected, anyway. How about you? What have you been getting yourself into these days?”
“Oh...” A dismissive incline of his head. “The usual business, I suppose. My time is mostly consumed with gathering hearts now. Every day brings us closer and closer to our goals.”
“Ah.” For some reason, she won’t look at him. She stares out over the ocean, over the bleak expanse of grey. Her face seems inexplicably drawn and melancholy.
“What’s wrong?” Luxord asks her. “We’re so close to regaining our hearts. Doesn’t that make you happy?”
She offers him a fleeting smile. “Oh, I am-- as much as I can be,” she amends, ducking her head somewhat playfully.
“It’s just... I don’t know. Something about what you said-- about your ‘goals’-- you reminded me a little of Xemnas just then. Cold.”
He blinks at the word. “You think I’m cold?” His voice is devoid of emotion, but that in itself is a tell. She can see that he’s somewhat insulted. “I enjoy our visits together, don’t I?”
“Yes...” she admits, and yet Luxord can sense that there’s a “but” on the way. “But you also used to visit someone else, didn’t you? What happened to her?”
“You mean Tifa?” he asks. “When did I ever tell you about her?”
Naminé places her hands on her hips, shaking her head at him. “You’re answering a question with a question again,” she says in singsong.
Luxord sighs. “Very well,” he replies. “I... severed ties with her. It was becoming too dangerous to continue seeing her. Too many things could’ve gone wrong.”
“Hmm...” Her face grows thoughtful. “Is that really all this is about?”
“What do you mean?”
Naminé shrugs. “I can’t help but feel that there’s more to it than that.” She suddenly bends over, picking up a few stones which have broken off of the craggy rocks that line the edge of the water.
“There isn’t anything more,” Luxord replies, watching her at her task. “If anything, you’re the one that is reading too much into this. She was merely a pleasant distraction, nothing more.”
“Hm. I wonder.” With a sudden flick of her wrist, Naminé sends one of the stones she’s carrying sailing across the water.
It sinks into the depths without so much as a bounce and vanishes from view. She presses her lips together, making a small “mm” of disappointment.
“If that were true, why even bother wasting time with her? I know that’s a big thing with you.”
Luxord opens his mouth; closes it again. “That’s--”
“I’ll tell you what I think,” Naminé interrupts. She rocks back and forth on her heels for a moment. “She’s become a reminder of what you lost, hasn’t she? Just like your cards and dice. You need them so that you don’t forget.”
“And what do you think I need to be reminded of?”
Naminé looks at him then. Her mouth is curved in a smile, but it doesn’t quite reach her eyes. “What it was like to care,” she answers.
He shakes his head scornfully at the idea. “I need my cards and dice to keep a tenuous grasp on whatever shade of a life I still have,” he tells her. “Any so-called ‘relationship’ I may have as a Nobody is inconsequential and frivolous.”
“Frivolous,” she repeats. She smirks at him. “So does that mean you think the same way about our friendship, then?”
A strangled sound escapes his throat, indicating that she has struck a low blow. “That’s different,” he says, without looking at her. “It’s an entirely different situation with you.”
“Why? Because I was with the Organization and she isn’t? Or because your feelings for her are different than the ones you have for me?”
“We’ve had a conversation like this before. I don’t feel anything for her, or even for you.”
She shakes her head with a disappointed sigh. “You’re lying. Again. You forget, I’ve played cards with you before-- I can tell when you’re bluffing. Your mouth does this weird little downward twitch--”
“Is there a point of all of this?” Luxord asks irritably. “Why bother to ask a question if you think you already know the answer?”
“Because,” she says playfully, rocking back on her heels. “I want to hear you say it. What’s the problem? It’s just a simple answer. I know you don’t spend this much time with someone without personally getting something out of it. So what is it? What made you stay with her for so long?”
A quick answer is on his lips, but Naminé shakes her head.
“Ah-ah...” she chides, grinning. “I told you before. You can’t pull the ‘I-can’t-feel-anything’ card this time. You have to actually think about this one. Come on... how does she make you feel?”
Luxord takes a deep breath; exhales. “You know I can’t answer that, Naminé. What can I possibly say? That it was more than just the thrill of a challenge that caused me to pursue her? That I genuinely enjoy her company? That when I’m with her, I feel like I may not need a heart?”
That last one makes him balk-- it somehow has a different tone when he says it aloud. He clears his throat. “I didn’t mean that.”
She laughs, shaking her head. “Of course you did. You never say anything you don’t mean. Not to me, anyway.”
“I mean, I didn’t mean it like that. It didn’t come out the way I intended.”
Naminé gives him a long, calculating stare, raising her eyebrows. “Didn’t it?” she asks.
When did she get so sure of herself?
“Fine,” he replies. “Since you’re so certain about my intentions, why don’t you tell me what you think is wrong with me?”
“Oh, that one’s easy.” She rattles the stones she’s carrying around in her hand. “You’ve grown fond of her. Whether it’s romantically or not, you enjoy being around her. She’s like a drug. She reminds you of who you were before you lost your heart, and the thought of that is scaring you to death.”
During the ensuing silence, in which Luxord’s mouth works for something to say to that, Naminé sends another stone flying. It splashes into the water and vanishes from view. “Another failed launch.”
Luxord finally finds his voice. “This is preposterous,” he says. “I refuse to be a part of this inane symposium any longer.”
“Okay, see that?” Naminé tells him. “That’s how I can tell that you’re flustered. You only use big words around me when you’re upset about something. I mean, really-- ‘inane symposium’?”
The sand crunches softly under her feet as she walks over to him. Her eyes are more serious than he can ever remember seeing them before.
“You do care about her,” she tells him, “even though you don’t think you can. I can tell by how your voice softens when you talk about her; the way your eyes light up. You can’t keep very many secrets from me, you know.”
He opens his mouth to speak. She places a finger against his lips, soft as a kiss. “Shshsh. It’s okay. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. It’s just your heart’s way of telling you it’s still out there somewhere.”
“But Kingdom Hearts--”
“Kingdom Hearts should always be your goal, but you shouldn’t let it be your only reason for existing. If you do-- if you let it consume you... you could lose yourself, Luxord. Just like he has.”
“’He’?” Luxord repeats, but she only shakes her head.
“I don’t want that to happen. You need to always remember why you’re doing what you’re doing. Don’t let her go, Luxord. Let her be a reminder of what it is you’re really fighting for.”
She reaches up; presses one hand against his chest. “This.” Her hand moves to grasp the sleeve of his coat, the coat that denotes him as a member of Organization XIII. “Not this.”
Luxord tries valiantly to make a final argument. He tries to tell her that he cannot go against his Superior. He tries to tell her that such feelings-- if he even has them-- are fleeting and trivial compared to their ultimate goal. But for some reason, his arguments now seem almost... flimsy. He can’t for the life of him explain why, but what she says makes an odd amount of sense, try though he might to deny it. Are these the echoes of his long-forgotten heart, resonating with her words?
He chuckles and shakes his head at her. “When did you become so persuasive?” he asks.
Naminé smiles back. “I’m only telling you what you already know,” she tells him. “After all, this isn’t really happening. I’m not really here.”
Luxord blinks. The scenery has slowly begun to ripple and warp behind her, the ocean and sand and dark pointed rocks fading to starkest white. Naminé cups his face in her hands; stands on tiptoe until her lips are relatively close to his ear.
“This is just a dream you’re having, Luxord,” she whispers. “And it’s time to wake up.”
And then she is gone, leaving behind a presence of sweetness and warmth.