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Though the Swan Song wank, at least, is very traditional.
Hee, nonnie - it suddenly sounds like some kind of dance or piece of folk music.
"Gather round, folks, and take your places! It's time to do the Swan Song Wank."
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Now I will be forever sad if I don't get to dance the Swan Song Wank at my wedding.
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It would have to include a slow-dance with a voice over section for the happy couple, I think, while one half of the audience breaks out the hankies and the other half remains stoic and unimpressed.
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