When your pizza gets stuck in Mordor
S0, HOW DID YOU SPEND YOUR LAST MONTH?
WANNA HEAR WHAT ANDY AND I DID?
WELL, LIKE, A MONTH AGO WE REALLY HAD A CRAVING FOR PIZZA. NOT JUST ANY PIZZA CRAVING. BUT THE TYPE WHERE THE WORLD DEPENDED ON THAT FIRST SENSATIONAL GREASY JUICY SWEET SALTY WONDERFUL AMAZING BITE. AND BREADSTICKS. CHEESY BREADSTICKS.
IT DIDN'T COME AFTER AN HOUR. SO WE CALLED. THEY SAID IT WOULD BE THERE SOON. AND WE HAD FAITH IN THE GOOD OF ALL PIZZA DELIVERY KIND. SO WE WAITED.
AFTER 3 MORE HOURS, WE CALLED AGAIN. THEY PROMISED IT WOULD BE THERE SOON. SO WE BELIEVED THEM. AND WE WAITED.
AND THEN WE GOT STONED AND FORGOT WE WERE WAITING. UNTIL THE NEXT DAY. AND WE REALIZED WE STILL HADN'T GOTTEN OUR PIZZA DELIVERY. BUT WE HAD A VOICE MAIL SAYING IT WAS ON THE WAY, AND WE'D GET IT FOR FREE. SO WE WAITED.
WE WATCHED A LOT OF DOCTOR WHO. AND FUNNY INTERNET VIDEOS. THEN WE SANG ALONG WITH A VERY POTTER MUSICAL. IT WAS TOTALLY AWESOME. UNTIL WE REALIZED LIKE, A WEEK HAD GONE BY. BUT WE STILL WAITED. BECAUSE ANDY IS ZEN. AND I'M TRYING TO EMBRACE BRIGHTNESS AND HAPPINESS. SO OF COURSE THERE WAS STILL A CHANCE THE PIZZA WOULD ARRIVE.
ANDY:
ANYWAY THE PIZZA DIDN'T COME FOR AWHILE SO I CALLED EM UP AND WENT ALL TOLKIEN ON THEIR ASSES! I SAID, WHY WAS OUR PIZZA TAKING SO LONG? DID TWO HOBBITS HAVE TO BRING IT TO MORDOR FIRST, OR WHAT? SHE WAS RUDE RIGHT BACK AND WE GOT INTO A BIT OF A VERBAL TETE A TETE. I TOLD HER IN NO UNCERTAIN TERMS THAT WE WOULD BE TELLING OUR FRIENDS NEVER TO ORDER FROM PAPA LUCI'S AGAIN. SHE RUDELY BRUSHED ME ASIDE.
WE WAITED.
....HERE IS MY DIARY ENTRY FROM THE THIRD WEEK IN. IT ISN'T PRETTY:
DAY TWENTY. AVA'S SMILE SEEMS HOLLOW, LIKE A BOY DENIED IN A REQUEST WHO BRAVELY MAKES THE BEST OF IT. PATCHES' EYES LOOK WAN, SICK FROM TOO MUCH DISAPPOINTMENT IN THIS LIFE. I FEAR TO THINK HOW MUCH LONGER WE CAN LAST WITHOUT FOOD, PIZZA OR DEODORANT (THAT ONE WAS MOSTLY OUR CHOICE). EVERY DAY I FEEL WEAKER AND WEAKER. I DO FERVENTLY PRAY SOME TRAVELER FIND THIS ENTRY AND REMEMBER US.
OH, AND HERE'S MY ENTRY FROM DAY TWENTY-ONE (RIGHT BEFORE THIS PHOTO WAS TAKEN):
OMG, PATCHES JUST SAID THE MOST AWKWARD THING I HAVE EVER HEARD!!! WHY WOULD HE JUST MAKE A JOKE OUT OF AVA'S AND MY INTIMATE TIMES TOGETHER LIKE THAT! OMG!!! AND EVEN IF EITHER OF US COULD JUMP THAT FDAR, WHO WOULD DO THAT WITH A KIWI FRUIT AND A HOT GLUE GUN ANYWAY?! SO TTLY AWKWARD!
AND DAY TWENTY-TWO:
EVERYTHING. IS SOO. COOL. ESPECIALLY! ESPECIALLY... VAN HALEN.
AVA AGAIN:
ANYWAY, THIS MORNING WE WOKE UP, CURLED UP ON THE SOFA NAKED, BECAUSE CLOTHES GOT BORING AWHILE AGO, SURROUNDED BY DIRTY PLATES AND EMPTY CUPS AND DVD CASES AND BONG WATER - AND i LOOKED AT THE CALENDER AND REALIZED A MONTH HAD GONE BY. I OFFICIALLY DUBBED OUR PIZZA MISSION FUTILE.
ANDY:
TURNS OUT WE NEVER GOT OUR PIZZA. BUT I BET THAT PIZZA LADY WAS WOUNDED BY MY SARDONIC AND CRUELLY WELL-PLACED WIT. SO REALLY IT'S LIKE I WON.
AVA:
REALLY, IT WAS A LONG AND BITTER TIME. WAITING. HUNGRY. DESPERATE, CLINGING TO THE FINEST THREADS OF HOPE. AT TIMES IT FELT ALMOST TOO MUCH TO BEAR. BUT WE GOT THROUGH IT. TOGETHER.
'''
SO YEAH. ANYONE FEEL LIKE BUYING US SOME PIZZA?
(ooc: appreciate the picture. Andy insisted on making a modern art masterpiece manipple.
WANNA HEAR WHAT ANDY AND I DID?
WELL, LIKE, A MONTH AGO WE REALLY HAD A CRAVING FOR PIZZA. NOT JUST ANY PIZZA CRAVING. BUT THE TYPE WHERE THE WORLD DEPENDED ON THAT FIRST SENSATIONAL GREASY JUICY SWEET SALTY WONDERFUL AMAZING BITE. AND BREADSTICKS. CHEESY BREADSTICKS.
IT DIDN'T COME AFTER AN HOUR. SO WE CALLED. THEY SAID IT WOULD BE THERE SOON. AND WE HAD FAITH IN THE GOOD OF ALL PIZZA DELIVERY KIND. SO WE WAITED.
AFTER 3 MORE HOURS, WE CALLED AGAIN. THEY PROMISED IT WOULD BE THERE SOON. SO WE BELIEVED THEM. AND WE WAITED.
AND THEN WE GOT STONED AND FORGOT WE WERE WAITING. UNTIL THE NEXT DAY. AND WE REALIZED WE STILL HADN'T GOTTEN OUR PIZZA DELIVERY. BUT WE HAD A VOICE MAIL SAYING IT WAS ON THE WAY, AND WE'D GET IT FOR FREE. SO WE WAITED.
WE WATCHED A LOT OF DOCTOR WHO. AND FUNNY INTERNET VIDEOS. THEN WE SANG ALONG WITH A VERY POTTER MUSICAL. IT WAS TOTALLY AWESOME. UNTIL WE REALIZED LIKE, A WEEK HAD GONE BY. BUT WE STILL WAITED. BECAUSE ANDY IS ZEN. AND I'M TRYING TO EMBRACE BRIGHTNESS AND HAPPINESS. SO OF COURSE THERE WAS STILL A CHANCE THE PIZZA WOULD ARRIVE.
ANDY:
ANYWAY THE PIZZA DIDN'T COME FOR AWHILE SO I CALLED EM UP AND WENT ALL TOLKIEN ON THEIR ASSES! I SAID, WHY WAS OUR PIZZA TAKING SO LONG? DID TWO HOBBITS HAVE TO BRING IT TO MORDOR FIRST, OR WHAT? SHE WAS RUDE RIGHT BACK AND WE GOT INTO A BIT OF A VERBAL TETE A TETE. I TOLD HER IN NO UNCERTAIN TERMS THAT WE WOULD BE TELLING OUR FRIENDS NEVER TO ORDER FROM PAPA LUCI'S AGAIN. SHE RUDELY BRUSHED ME ASIDE.
WE WAITED.
....HERE IS MY DIARY ENTRY FROM THE THIRD WEEK IN. IT ISN'T PRETTY:
DAY TWENTY. AVA'S SMILE SEEMS HOLLOW, LIKE A BOY DENIED IN A REQUEST WHO BRAVELY MAKES THE BEST OF IT. PATCHES' EYES LOOK WAN, SICK FROM TOO MUCH DISAPPOINTMENT IN THIS LIFE. I FEAR TO THINK HOW MUCH LONGER WE CAN LAST WITHOUT FOOD, PIZZA OR DEODORANT (THAT ONE WAS MOSTLY OUR CHOICE). EVERY DAY I FEEL WEAKER AND WEAKER. I DO FERVENTLY PRAY SOME TRAVELER FIND THIS ENTRY AND REMEMBER US.
OH, AND HERE'S MY ENTRY FROM DAY TWENTY-ONE (RIGHT BEFORE THIS PHOTO WAS TAKEN):
OMG, PATCHES JUST SAID THE MOST AWKWARD THING I HAVE EVER HEARD!!! WHY WOULD HE JUST MAKE A JOKE OUT OF AVA'S AND MY INTIMATE TIMES TOGETHER LIKE THAT! OMG!!! AND EVEN IF EITHER OF US COULD JUMP THAT FDAR, WHO WOULD DO THAT WITH A KIWI FRUIT AND A HOT GLUE GUN ANYWAY?! SO TTLY AWKWARD!
AND DAY TWENTY-TWO:
EVERYTHING. IS SOO. COOL. ESPECIALLY! ESPECIALLY... VAN HALEN.
AVA AGAIN:
ANYWAY, THIS MORNING WE WOKE UP, CURLED UP ON THE SOFA NAKED, BECAUSE CLOTHES GOT BORING AWHILE AGO, SURROUNDED BY DIRTY PLATES AND EMPTY CUPS AND DVD CASES AND BONG WATER - AND i LOOKED AT THE CALENDER AND REALIZED A MONTH HAD GONE BY. I OFFICIALLY DUBBED OUR PIZZA MISSION FUTILE.
ANDY:
TURNS OUT WE NEVER GOT OUR PIZZA. BUT I BET THAT PIZZA LADY WAS WOUNDED BY MY SARDONIC AND CRUELLY WELL-PLACED WIT. SO REALLY IT'S LIKE I WON.
AVA:
REALLY, IT WAS A LONG AND BITTER TIME. WAITING. HUNGRY. DESPERATE, CLINGING TO THE FINEST THREADS OF HOPE. AT TIMES IT FELT ALMOST TOO MUCH TO BEAR. BUT WE GOT THROUGH IT. TOGETHER.
'''
SO YEAH. ANYONE FEEL LIKE BUYING US SOME PIZZA?
(ooc: appreciate the picture. Andy insisted on making a modern art masterpiece manipple.