.... I JUST HAD THE WEIRDEST DREAM
SO FIRST OF ALL, I WAS THIS BABY:
APPARENTLY, IF YOU CRY ENOUGH AS A KID, YOU GET TOYS SHOVED AT YOU. THIS IS AMAZING.
SUDDENLY I WAS THIS PRINCE, OR EMPEROR OR SOMETHING, AND DUDE, IT WAS SUH-WEEEEET. I HAD EVERYTHING.
EVEN THIS AWESOME THEME SONG GUY:
UNFORTUNATELY FOR HIM, THIS CRAZY DUDE PISSED ME OFF, BY THROWING OFF MY (TOTALLY KICK-ASS) DANCE MOVES.
I WAS LOOKING FOR A WIFE, BUT AS PRETTY AS THESE GIRLS WERE, THEY JUST WEREN'T FOR ME.
SO THEY ALL JOINED MY HAREM INSTEAD.
THEN THERE WAS THIS CRAZY OLD LADY AND HER ~CONSORT~ OR WHATEVER... TRYING TO TAKE OVER MY KINGDOM.
APPARENTLY SHE WAS MY ADVISOR AND SOME KINDA WITCH, SO MAYBE FIRING HER *WASN'T* THE BEST IDEA EVER. (MORE ON THAT LATER)
SO THERE WAS THIS DUDE, SOME COUNTRY GUY WHO WAS ALL 'DON'T BUILD YOUR SUMMER HOME ON MY HILL'
I THOUGHT ABOUT IT
BUT COME ON. LUCITOPIA WAS GONNA BE AWESOME.
SO ANYWAY, I SENT CRAZY VILLAGE BOY BACK HOME, AND LEARNED THAT IT WAS A BAD IDEA TO PISS MEEZMA OFF. BECAUSE SHE INVITED ME TO DINNER, AND BEFORE I KNEW IT, THIS GUY WAS TAKING ADVICE FROM A SHOULDER ANGEL AND DEVIL, AND ... WELL I DON'T EVEN KNOW. I WAS UNCONSCIOUS.
WELL HE LOST ME SOMEHOW, AND SUDDENLY I'M WATCHING THESE TWO BE RIDICULOUSLY CUTE.
IT WOULD HAVE BEEN SICKENING. GLAD I WAS UNCONSCIOUS.
THEN I CAME TO, AND LOOKED LIKE THIS:
HOLY CRAP, THEY TURNED ME INTO A LLAMA
WELL I LEFT VILLAGE BOY AND SET OFF ON MY OWN, NEEDING TO GO GET MEZMA TO TURN ME BACK. I MET A SQUIRREL. HE OFFERED ME AN ACORN, BUT IT FELT WEIRD.
SO I SAID NO.
AND THEN WHEN I TURNED TO LEAVE, I FELL. RIGHT INTO A JAGUAR PIT.
THEY WERE TERRIFYING, OKAY?
ANYWAY, THAT LITTLE JERK OF A SQUIRREL CAME BACK ALL "YOU REFUSED MY GOOD-WILL NOW I'MMA WAKE UP THE JAGUARS AND LAUGH AS THEY EAT YOUR FACE OFF."
AND I WAS ALL "NO, NOT MY BEAUTIFUL FACE"
LITTLE BRAT TOTALLY POPPED THE BALLOON.
THEN THAT PEASANT DUDE CAME TO MY RESCUE, BUT HE'S GOTTA WORK ON THAT SHIT BECAUSE SERIOUSLY, THIS IS WHAT HAPPENED:
PEASANT MAN'S WIFE WAS ADORABLE WITH THEIR KIDS NIGHTMARES. THOSE TWO KIDS FIGHT MORE THAN ANYONE ELSE EVER.
SO GACHA (PEASANT MAN) AND I STOPPED AT THIS RESTAURANT, AND I DRESSED UP AS A WOMAN 'CAUSE LLAMAS WEREN'T ALLOWED. THE WAITRESS TOTALLY BOUGHT OUR 'NEWLYWED' CLAIM.
THE COOK GOT PISSED PARTWAY THROUGH THE MEAL, SO MEEZMA'S BOYTOY HAD TO TAKE OVER.
GACHA FOUND OUT THAT IT WAS MEEZMA AND DRONK WHO HAD TURNED ME INTO A LLAMA AND WHO WERE TRYING TO ~KILL~ ME. SO HE DISTRACTED MEEZMA WITH BIRTHDAY GREETINGS.
AND WE RUSHED TO HIS PLACE ONCE MORE.
THIS OLD DUDE TOLD US THAT, UNFORTUNATELY, MEEZMA AND DRONK WERE ALREADY THERE.
SO WE ASKED GACHA'S WIFE TO HELP.
THE KIDS MANAGED TO WORK TOGETHER AND MAKE THIS HAPPEN:
THIS MADE ME HAPPY. IN THE QUEST TO REGAIN MY BODY, A BUNCH OF THE GUARDS WERE SWAPPED INTO ANIMALS TOO.
BUT WE PREVAILED. MEEZMA BECAME A KITTEN, AND I WAS BACK TO BEING AWESOME.
ALSO I BUILT MY LUCITOPIA NEXT DOOR TO GACHA, CAUSE WE WERE TOTALLY BFFS AFTER THAT.