Monster’s Mask (Team Hell)
Title: Monster’s Mask.
Author: andrea_deer.
Characters/Pairing(s): Sam. YED, Dean, Ruby.
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: some blood here and there, different ending to the final of season four.
Spoilers/Timeline: Three little scenes happening in 2x21, 4x04, 4x22. So, obviously spoilers mostly to those episodes.
Summary: They told him, he was a monster. And apparently he was.
Word Count: 624
Disclaimer: All Kripke’s.
Beta: azinazelle.
~~~
"This... This means I have demon blood in me?! Answer me!"
The moment he saw it. The moment he saw the small droplets of blood landing on the lips of his young self... it started slowly making sense. Small pieces fell right into their places and the puzzles showed the true picture. He tried as much as he could. He tried saving people in hope it’d even things out. No matter what will posses him, how he will change into a monster, he'll have this to back him up. The memory of the lives he rescued.
The problem was, he wasn't going to turn into a monster. He already was one.
And fighting against your own nature is never easy. But he'd be damned if he wouldn't try... Ha! He'll probably be damned either way, so he might as well try.
"I've got demon blood in me, Dean! This disease pumping through my veins and I can't ever rip it out or scrub it clean! I'm a whole new level of freak!"
And suddenly it was there. Yelled out in the open between them. Sam was a monster and now Dean knew that too. And he looked at Sam with those disappointed eyes, expecting him to suddenly declare he was converted and came back to the side of light, but not really believing it will ever happen.
Good, decided Sam, trying not to feel as if he was betrayed. That's how it was supposed to be. He was a monster. He tried to make the best of it, help people. He tried to think about the life he was saving as he made the demon spill out of its victim and sink back to the pit. He tried to concentrate on the fact that he's trying to make it all better. To make the best of this situation. If he was a monster he could at least try to save some people from other monsters, right?
He concentrated on this and not on the growing excitement. Not on growing need for more, for power. This tempting feeling, when he was the only one who could decide whether the victim would survive, whether this demon would go back to hell. He had the power over so may lives with just this one decision. And it felt good to finally be in control of something. Not being led around and forced to jump through the loops, but deciding what to do, whom to save. Taking your destiny into your own hands and making the best out of it. Setting your own goals and achieving them. He always loved that feeling and it was nice to get it back, even if it wasn't his choice at all, not really. He was damned. He had this damnation in his veins... he had no choice; he just decided to use it as well as he could.
"You didn't need the feather to fly, you had it in you the whole time, Dumbo!"
He was a freak. Psychic powers and demon killing and apocalypse bringing freak. And it was not about blood. It was about him.
He touched the blood slowly slipping out of Lilith's body and forming a circle on the floor, opening the passage. The blood, he thought hysterically... It was not about the blood. He could feel the hysterical laughter bubbling inside him and Ruby's warm presence at his side, holding him, grounding him, before he managed to completely lose it. She petted his hair, mumbling something. And he laughed. They told him he was a monster and he stepped up to the role! He was a monster... He could as well learn to live with it now. Now, when he had no excuse to hide behind.
~~~
Author: andrea_deer.
Characters/Pairing(s): Sam. YED, Dean, Ruby.
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: some blood here and there, different ending to the final of season four.
Spoilers/Timeline: Three little scenes happening in 2x21, 4x04, 4x22. So, obviously spoilers mostly to those episodes.
Summary: They told him, he was a monster. And apparently he was.
Word Count: 624
Disclaimer: All Kripke’s.
Beta: azinazelle.
~~~
"This... This means I have demon blood in me?! Answer me!"
The moment he saw it. The moment he saw the small droplets of blood landing on the lips of his young self... it started slowly making sense. Small pieces fell right into their places and the puzzles showed the true picture. He tried as much as he could. He tried saving people in hope it’d even things out. No matter what will posses him, how he will change into a monster, he'll have this to back him up. The memory of the lives he rescued.
The problem was, he wasn't going to turn into a monster. He already was one.
And fighting against your own nature is never easy. But he'd be damned if he wouldn't try... Ha! He'll probably be damned either way, so he might as well try.
"I've got demon blood in me, Dean! This disease pumping through my veins and I can't ever rip it out or scrub it clean! I'm a whole new level of freak!"
And suddenly it was there. Yelled out in the open between them. Sam was a monster and now Dean knew that too. And he looked at Sam with those disappointed eyes, expecting him to suddenly declare he was converted and came back to the side of light, but not really believing it will ever happen.
Good, decided Sam, trying not to feel as if he was betrayed. That's how it was supposed to be. He was a monster. He tried to make the best of it, help people. He tried to think about the life he was saving as he made the demon spill out of its victim and sink back to the pit. He tried to concentrate on the fact that he's trying to make it all better. To make the best of this situation. If he was a monster he could at least try to save some people from other monsters, right?
He concentrated on this and not on the growing excitement. Not on growing need for more, for power. This tempting feeling, when he was the only one who could decide whether the victim would survive, whether this demon would go back to hell. He had the power over so may lives with just this one decision. And it felt good to finally be in control of something. Not being led around and forced to jump through the loops, but deciding what to do, whom to save. Taking your destiny into your own hands and making the best out of it. Setting your own goals and achieving them. He always loved that feeling and it was nice to get it back, even if it wasn't his choice at all, not really. He was damned. He had this damnation in his veins... he had no choice; he just decided to use it as well as he could.
"You didn't need the feather to fly, you had it in you the whole time, Dumbo!"
He was a freak. Psychic powers and demon killing and apocalypse bringing freak. And it was not about blood. It was about him.
He touched the blood slowly slipping out of Lilith's body and forming a circle on the floor, opening the passage. The blood, he thought hysterically... It was not about the blood. He could feel the hysterical laughter bubbling inside him and Ruby's warm presence at his side, holding him, grounding him, before he managed to completely lose it. She petted his hair, mumbling something. And he laughed. They told him he was a monster and he stepped up to the role! He was a monster... He could as well learn to live with it now. Now, when he had no excuse to hide behind.
~~~