the sensation of a lot of flesh, for denugis

[summergen_mod]

Title: the sensation of a lot of flesh
Recipient: de_nugis
Rating: M
Warnings: suicide/suicidal thoughts or some close metaphorical approximation thereof; non-sexual noncon messing with other people’s bodies
Wordcount: 6317

Summary: “Effigies let you study or act upon someone with impunity. They are good for practice.” (Jenny Holzer)
Author’s note: Thanks

Comments

[verucasalt123]

I love seeing Soulless again and this is an incredibly inventive way to bring him in to the story. Castiel's sincere I never meant to hurt you got right into my heart, because of course he didn't. Once again a situation starting with people who love Sam being desperate and ending with Sam's autonomy being violated - familiar but also new due to the unique circumstance. I want to be angry with Dean but then I remember that he's already lost everything he loves in this world and he's hopeless enough to do what he should know by now is so wrong.

Amazing story, I know I'll want to read this over and over.

[themegalosaurus]

Thanks so much for this lovely, sensitive comment. I'm glad this felt convincing and that I managed to make most of the characters sympathetic - I'm such a Sam girl that I do worry sometimes about not doing the others justice...

[amberdreams]

Oh poor Soulless Sam! Stuck with the bad end of the bargain again... But this was awesome. I loved the twist that came just when I was thinking the story was finishing, and then of course Dean’s done it again. With Cas complicit, because of course he would be. Grim, yes, but also fascinating, sad and thought provoking.

I’m fairly sure I know you, dear anon! We’ll see...

[themegalosaurus]

I don't seem to have kept myself very anonymous so I suspect you did know me!! Thanks so much for reading and commenting so kindly on this very Sammy story

[jj1564]

Wow, what an amazing story, so sad yet also hopeful. I've wanted to see Max and Alicia back in the show, and this fulfils my wish. I remember thinking at the time that what Max did to Alicia was horrible, but nothing the Winchesters wouldn't do for the other.

[themegalosaurus]

Yeah I was glad to have the opportunity to explore the aftermath of what happened with Max and Alicia which, as you say, has resonances with things that Sam and Dean have already experienced. I'm glad you liked it!!

[marciaelena]

This is grim and gorgeous and twisted and I loved every word of it. Sam being made into a thing that looks and feels human but isn't is such a shocking violation, and totally in character with what Dean would do. (And at least Sam still has his soul, which can't be said for poor Alicia, but of course that doesn't make the horror of it much more bearable.) Soulless!Sam was an unexpected twist that turned this already dark tale even darker, and Sam's unwillingness to abandon him was so quintessentially *Sam* it was heartbreaking. The sheer existential horror in this is perfect, guh. Please forgive my incoherence, I'm just in love with this story. I loved seeing Max and Alicia again, loved that Sam helped Alicia regain some of her autonomy back. I adore the stark image the whole fic paints, but especially the end--these two pairs of siblings and the terribly beautiful ways in which they love and hurt each other, stranded in the middle of nowhere with nowhere to go; a dark world overrun by monsters; and Sam and Alicia, trying to hold on

[themegalosaurus]

Thanks so much for this lovely generous comment!! I am glad you liked the final image and glad you picked up on the fundamental horror that underpins this scenario - it is a dark story, I think, about love, which SPN is or has been in the past as well. Anyway yes thanks beastie, I'm lucky to have such kind readers

[quickreaver]

Oh my gawwwwwd, this is BRILLIANT. I can't pick a favorite part because it's all so poignant and complicated and simply perfect. 😍😍😍

[themegalosaurus]

Ahh thank you! And thanks for matching me with these awesome prompts!